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 Tryns
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 67
Celibate since April, 1992Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Last two years of my marriage I was celibate......not by choice mind you. I won't go back down that road again.....was a nightmare.
 nikkisenko
Joined: 9/5/2011
Msg: 69
Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 9/10/2011 6:43:45 PM
No way could I go that long! A year would be about it and that is pushing it.
 GarnerGirl71
Joined: 2/10/2012
Msg: 71
view profile
History
Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 10/16/2012 9:27:34 AM
Celibate for the last 3 years of my marriage. Wish my ex could say the same. More than happy when that streak ended.
 Arata_na_Yoake
Joined: 1/25/2012
Msg: 72
Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 10/16/2012 3:08:28 PM
I've been celibate since July 1988.
 NCnavetG8r
Joined: 9/7/2012
Msg: 73
view profile
History
Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 10/16/2012 3:24:29 PM
7 years and still counting. If the right person comes along, great! If not, I won't die. My hand knows exactly what I need when the need arises.
 coderedjulia1
Joined: 5/27/2012
Msg: 74
Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 10/16/2012 3:52:35 PM
I was celibate for 3 years, and then got heavy with a guy, and now I was wondering what the hell I was thinking..lol. I love sex. Would be hard for me to do that again! But at the time, I did lose interest in sex. Once I started again, my sex drive was high.
 Outsideofthebox1
Joined: 8/18/2012
Msg: 75
Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 10/16/2012 4:08:30 PM
I went 5 years without to not be distracted from my goal of accomplishing 2 major things in my life. It was totally my choice... It was easy at first but got tougher near the end of it.... Not the end of the world though. As long as you don't forget to remember how good it actually is... and eventually seek it out.
 15111958
Joined: 12/6/2011
Msg: 76
Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 10/16/2012 4:19:05 PM
Celibate since Oct 2002 and that was my first time.

Do you think sexual frustration can kill you?
 Heavenlygurl
Joined: 10/9/2012
Msg: 77
Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 10/16/2012 5:27:19 PM
Abstinence will not kill you! Lol! I'm proof... I've been celibate for 20 years ... will be 21 in March. I'm a Christian. And though most single Christians today don't abstain, I believe that if you're not married, you should not be having sex. Being celibate really does allow you to divert that energy into other things, i.e. raising 4 young kids alone.
Kids are grown now, and I'm just beginning to date; which has been quite interesting. I'm taking it slow and with great caution, but I'm having fun too.
 circle-circle
Joined: 10/4/2012
Msg: 78
Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 10/16/2012 6:51:56 PM
No, I am not into celibacy.
 _Meta_Man_
Joined: 7/2/2012
Msg: 79
Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 10/16/2012 7:34:46 PM
you said you didn't expect to go this long...that is not celibacy you just aren't getting any. Dude, put in your profile how safe you are women will be emailing you. Don't sound desperate and don't act desperate ;)
 15111958
Joined: 12/6/2011
Msg: 80
Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 10/16/2012 8:26:22 PM

Abstinence will not kill you! Lol! I'm proof... I've been celibate for 20 years ... will be 21 in March.


maybe it's different for women or maybe it's different person to person. You sound like you used to have a sex life if you have kids. What if, like me, you had been on this earth for 54 years and only had sex once. Would you still say the same do you think?
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 81
view profile
History
Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 10/16/2012 8:42:58 PM

What if, like me, you had been on this earth for 54 years and only had sex once. Would you still say the same do you think?

Okay......curiousity has gotten the better of me.....
Your profile states you are widowed.......how in the world can one be married and only have sex once?
 Heavenlygurl
Joined: 10/9/2012
Msg: 82
Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 10/16/2012 10:29:14 PM
Of course, I understand that men view sex differently... this is just one woman's point of view...

Yes. I have been married. I do have kids. My husband and I had an awesome sex life. It was really really fantastic. But not fantastic enough to hold our marriage together.

So now my mind is playing with me. I dream of sex. I see big fine men everywhere. They looks so delish. Everybody's having sex except me. But I know that once I eat and am full, I won't want it near as much. I'll go plant roses or something. So that's how I deal with it... so I don't have yet another pity party feeling so deprived.

Forgive my earlier response... this is by no means easy to live. It's one of the most difficult, frustrating things I've ever experienced. Like every woman here, I've met men who have rang every bell that I have. I am a healthy, happy, reasonably attractive romantic. I love sex! A big warm body in the bed with me?! Yeah! I want that everyday!

But at some point, you have to connect the dots: will having sex with this person add to my peace? Will it make me a happier, healthier, better person? Will it take me where I want to go ~ to a strong, loving, lasting relationship? Or am I just exchanging one set of problems for another.

So what am I depriving myself of: at most 30 minutes of hopefully passion, that hopefully will lead somewhere, but probably will not.

I had to stop comparing myself to others. If you're honest, you don't miss what you never had. I didn't have sex tonight, but there's always tomorrow. Lol.

But when that man arrives in my life, I have a special treasure for him. That makes me happier than laying down and...you know... with er whomever. I sincerely hope that he's doing the same.

You can do it... if you believe.
 HeartOn64
Joined: 5/31/2012
Msg: 83
Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 10/17/2012 4:45:21 AM
I'm a Christian. And though most single Christians today don't abstain, I believe that if you're not married, you should not be having sex.


I'm not religious,but I can't imagine a loving god that would want or expect you to deprive yourself of pleasure,even out of wedlock, to ensure your entrance into heaven.If so,then that's blackmail in my book.

You are human first....Christian second.


But when that man arrives in my life, I have a special treasure for him. That makes me happier than laying down and...you know... with er whomever. I sincerely hope that he's doing the same.


You are not a virgin anymore ma'am.And it really doesn't have to be all or nothing when it comes to love and sex.

While I respect your beliefs,I wish you some sexual healing!
 Heavenlygurl
Joined: 10/9/2012
Msg: 84
Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 10/17/2012 11:31:20 AM
Why is it easier to misunderstand than to understand?

Abstaining ensure my entrance into Heaven?

If you reread my post, you'll see I did not say anything near that. Yes I am a Christian. Maybe that is what you're objecting to here. lol.

For the record, the Bible says the only way to ensure Heaven is through Jesus Christ. Not that I'm trying to be a bible thumper or anything....

Abstaining has for me been, as you say, a kind of sexual healing. I've met numerous men on here who see sex as a sport.
But for me, sex is the most intimate act I will ever agree to with a man. The two become one. He becomes a part of me, I become a part of him. So to handle that carelessly is to my own detriment.

The boundaries are for my protection; not to mention sexually transmitted diseases, out of wedlock pregnancy and plain mental anguish. Whether I'm a virgin or not is irrelevant.

Not trying to raise hackles, just trying to answer the original poster's direct question to me ... the great thing is that I get to live the way I want to, as do you.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 85
view profile
History
Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 10/17/2012 11:53:18 AM
I'm not sure that you (Heavenlygurl) being a Christian is the problem. Perhaps your choice of words is. I will admit it got my hackles up when I read it. I wasn't able to figure out why until just now...


I'm a Christian. And though most single Christians today don't abstain, I believe that if you're not married, you should not be having sex.

The use of the words "you're" and "you" are judgemental. If you had said "I believe that because I am not married, I should not be having sex." it would back up what you said in your previous response, that being we are all free to live our lives how we choose.

Anyway.. rock on, you come across as a strong confident woman, and I know a lot of men find that irresistable and sexy. I hope you are able to find the man you are looking for.
 HeartOn64
Joined: 5/31/2012
Msg: 86
Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 10/17/2012 12:06:49 PM

For the record, the Bible says the only way to ensure Heaven is through Jesus Christ


AND...to follow the rules of the bible to the letter or else!And one of the rules of the bible,is to abstain or would you be doing it and risking going against the bible by having sex out of wedlock?


Why is it easier to misunderstand than to understand?


That's my question to every religious person.Actually it's more like,why is it easier to follow and be lead and manipulated,than have your own healthy boundaries,consciences,morality and ethics without the threat of hell having over your life like a shaddow?


Abstaining has for me been, as you say, a kind of sexual healing. I've met numerous men on here who see sex as a sport. But for me, sex is the most intimate act I will ever agree to with a man. The two become one. He becomes a part of me, I become a part of him. So to handle that carelessly is to my own detriment.
The boundaries are for my protection; not to mention sexually transmitted diseases, out of wedlock pregnancy and plain mental anguish. Whether I'm a virgin or not is irrelevant.


Sounds as though all you are doing is missing out on life to me.Like I said,it's not black or white.I didn't say you should have had sex with the 'numerous" men who like to hit it and quit it! I don't do that either!But I would die without every ahving sex again as I will NEVER get married again.What happens if you dont' either? Do you die celibate in the name of Jesus?


I can choose to do the same thing,and do (but I don't follow a book written by man that says I CAN'T have sex our of wedlock,but it's not because the bible tells me to or I will risk going against Jesus and the bible.


Whether I'm a virgin or not is irrelevant.



Actually it is relevant.That rule was made for young women who were virgins.
It also mean's according to your bible,that your divorce doesn't actually mean anything in the eyes of God.because you made a VOW for life until death do you part which means a second marriage that you seem to be waiting for to HAVE SEX,isn't possibly legitimate in the eyes of God anyways.See the problem?

You can use your own religious interpetation to your benefit all you need to to justify your chocies,but the fact is,you can't bend the rules of the bible to suit yourself.If you believe that you need to be married to have sex again,they you must also believe that you only get one marriage under the eye's of god too.

And my point was that Religion uses sex as a way to control the masses thru guilt ,shame and fear that they won't get into "heaven" without abstaining.And that brings us full circle as YOU used your religion to explain why you are celibate....and I suggested it's NOT black or white!

You CAN love yourself and find one man to love you back and have sex without being married and I can't believe anything about going to heaven because for me............LIFE is HEAVEN.

Good luck
 NCnavetG8r
Joined: 9/7/2012
Msg: 87
view profile
History
Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 10/17/2012 1:08:11 PM
Sounds as though all you are doing is missing out on life to me.Like I said,it's not black or white.I didn't say you should have had sex with the 'numerous" men who like to hit it and quit it! I don't do that either!But I would die without every ahving sex again as I will NEVER get married again.What happens if you dont' either? Do you die celibate in the name of Jesus?


I too am a Christian, but I've also come to a realization. Society today isn't the same as it was when the Bible was written. I believe God understands this and knows some of the old laws are no longer practical for today. I have not had sex in over 7 years (with anyone other than myself), but it isn't for religious reasons. It's simply because I haven't found anyone I wanted to be in a relationship with. I'm not fancy on casual one night stand sex. Too many STDs that can kill you these days, and condoms aren't 100% safe. So I want to make sure I'm in a monogamous relationship with someone first. And I want to make sure neither of us is going to be giving the other anything they aren't expecting. I don't really want to get married again, but I don't worry about sex outside of marriage, because I also feel the fact that I've been married, and divorced, pretty much blows the whole no sex outside of marriage thing completely out of the water. If God doesn't acknowledge my first divorce, then no matter what, if I have sex it's adultery in his eyes, right? I also know if I misinterpret the Bible, and commit a sin I will be forgiven because I'm only human, and Christ promised to intercede on my part once I accepted him as my savior.

Maybe I'll never have sex again. I'm fat now, and not as pretty as I was when I was younger. I understand that and I can live with it if that's how it plays out. I'm not going to deny myself the pleasures of a healthy sexual relationship with someone I come to care for, if the situation arises though.
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 88
Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 10/17/2012 2:13:31 PM
I have been celibate (if you don't count the self entertainment from time to time) since I was 49 years old. Because of medication for depression, I did not usually notice this condition. But it seems odd to have not made love for so long, especially after having been married for over two decades to a lustly woman.
I stopped making love after we separated. I never expected to go so long. I date and I enjoy life, but still this feels odd. I would not have believed that I would have enjoyed life without making love, but I have.

Have any of you similar experiences?


Yes, it is odd, but it does happen. Life and our personal issues get in the way and in your case, meds as well.
I can understand how time flies and you look back to ponder "how odd". A reasonable thought.
Aside from this past summer, I purposely went three years celibate. Might just go for another three lol.
Honestly, I haven't made love since 1994. That's just the way my life panned out, purposely or otherwise.
In a strange way, I'm in the same lake as you but different boat.

If you are pondering too much, find it too odd then do something about it.
It ain't rocket science.
 15111958
Joined: 12/6/2011
Msg: 89
Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 10/17/2012 3:10:22 PM

Your profile states you are widowed.......how in the world can one be married and only have sex once?


It's a long boring story but it's true.
 Heavenlygurl
Joined: 10/9/2012
Msg: 90
Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 10/17/2012 8:40:39 PM
Aaaah... you are so right no_1_bby.... I should have referenced myself in speaking instead... that is what I intended. Apologies everyone. Cause surely it's enough just keeping myself on track without concerning myself with what others are up to!

Just hope my answer to the gentleman's question didn't get loss in the noise...

Thanks for the kind words ... especially "irresistible" and "sexy." I like that! Lol!

I will be more conscious from whence I speak in the future tho... enjoy!
 HeartOn64
Joined: 5/31/2012
Msg: 91
Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 10/18/2012 2:15:02 AM

So I want to make sure I'm in a monogamous relationship with someone first. And I want to make sure neither of us is going to be giving the other anything they aren't expecting. I don't really want to get married again, but I don't worry about sex outside of marriage, because I also feel the fact that I've been married, and divorced, pretty much blows the whole no sex outside of marriage thing completely out of the water. If God doesn't acknowledge my first divorce, then no matter what, if I have sex it's adultery in his eyes, right? I also know if I misinterpret the Bible, and commit a sin I will be forgiven because I'm only human, and Christ promised to intercede on my part once I accepted him as my savior.



GOOD ON YOU for getting my point! YAY!!!!!


Maybe I'll never have sex again. I'm fat now, and not as pretty as I was when I was younger. I understand that and I can live with it if that's how it plays out. I'm not going to deny myself the pleasures of a healthy sexual relationship with someone I come to care for, if the situation arises though.


Double YAY! And BTW....'Fat' people can be sexy too! ;)
 wildlifelover79
Joined: 8/15/2012
Msg: 92
Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 10/20/2012 1:52:41 PM
I usually average sex every 7 years so I know how it feels. I feel celibate alot of times.
 Witnesstomythoughts
Joined: 7/27/2015
Msg: 93
Celibate since April, 1992
Posted: 9/17/2015 9:28:05 AM

Have any of you similar experiernces?




Good God No!!


This ^^^^^
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