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 Jacqueline_
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 81
if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other womenPage 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Ask him why, he is the only one that can give you the answer. Then you can decide if you are ok with his answer.
 776877
Joined: 10/13/2007
Msg: 84
if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 7/1/2009 10:32:57 AM
'Sorry - but few males on these sites are "one girl" guys!'

'I'd venture to say most of us are actually "zero girl" guys!'


Funny! But sadly SOOOO true! This site is probably the safest site on the web for guys NOT meeting girls, be more wary of the supermarket, health club, parties, concerts...just about anywhere else :-) Its possible to meet a woman in real life and within a short while exchange numbers etc, that really doesn't happen here.
 no_excuses_please
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 90
if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 7/19/2009 5:48:46 AM
Because,OP,it's a poor mouse that has but one hole.
 onlythekind
Joined: 4/5/2009
Msg: 102
if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 7/19/2009 1:49:41 PM
note im a one girl guy but would still chat with other women on dating sites
 jamp2459
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 103
if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 10/6/2009 3:23:51 AM
[hi .. i need some good unbiased advice... i am in a new relationship with a great guy from here... he tells me i am perfect ... that he is going nowhere and he is 110% happy...so why does he still need to talk to other women on here? what is it that i am not giving him? my profile is turned off his still says that he is divorced and looking for friends. Do you think that he should change it to say not single/notlooking and make it plain that he has someone and is in a relationship?}

You're not perfect to him. He doesn't have eyes for just you. He is not in love with you, not even close. You decide what to do.
 pittpa
Joined: 12/20/2008
Msg: 108
if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 10/6/2009 11:57:55 AM
when he said that youre perfect to him that means he's in love with you but if he still chatting with other women that's not good and he being ignorant and you should talk to him about that do not keep your mouth shut there is a lot of guys out there
 eastendwoman
Joined: 7/15/2006
Msg: 110
if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 10/6/2009 12:13:43 PM
Men regard women like a TV set. Once they have that remote in their hand, and they're watching a show they like, they still channel surf to see 'what else is on'. It's just the way they're wired. They are never satisfied. You could be a goddess in bed, a great cook, make a million dollars a year, and yes, they will still look around anyway. This reminds me of a joke I heard a while back. Adam asked God, why did you make women so beautiful? God answered, 'so you'd like them'. But then Adam asked God, 'why did you make them so stupid'? God answered, 'so they'd like you'. That's it in a nutshell. Good luck.
 JBSGirlForever
Joined: 10/5/2007
Msg: 113
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History
if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 10/6/2009 4:37:19 PM
Hi i agree with u .If ur in a commited dating relationship with this guy and ur both happy with one another.Then yes he should have no reason for interacting with the other lady's from here.He should take off the profile he single and put not single/not looking.Im in a similar thing myself.I think it wrong that eiher person is still on here for whatever the reason is.I would ask ur guy if he still talking to people from here as friends or not.If its just as friends and he in groups or whatever.Then i maybe ok.But he not talking with other people as friends then he need s not do that.
 Ependa
Joined: 7/16/2009
Msg: 119
if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 1/1/2010 12:29:54 PM
I can't really address him or what he should do. I'm finding something curiously healthy lately though. Maybe it will help you , maybe not.It's more about addressing you though. I'm finding myself closing the door on emotionally unavailable men. I don't mean men that don't necessarily want to jump into an ltr... I mean men that , due to their nature and/or their circumstances are unable to 'be present' in a realtionship, are unable to openly communicate, and feel the need to hide behind walls. On any level. Such men are also that kind that are (since they really don't know exactly what they want) always on the lookout for the 'next best thing'. I don't need to fix anybody. I don't want to try and convince someone that our relationship is good or tell them what they want (they need to figure that out on their own) . I don't have the energy for such games. I have figured out what it is I want out of relationships over the years. Now , I'm starting to close the door to those unavailable types. It's been opening up some wonderful opportunities for me. It's kinda like ...wow, I could have had a V8 :-)
It's very enjoyable and refreshing when you can be around a man that's into you cause he's into you ..no bs attached. JMO.
 JBSGirlForever
Joined: 10/5/2007
Msg: 120
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History
if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 11/3/2011 9:07:23 PM
Yes i believe the gentleman ur with should turn deactiavte it profile or at least for u change the status to no looking/not single. Im in the same boat u are my guy committed to me all theway but he still feels the need to come on here to check his emails and should no longer be reciveing. I let ur guy no flat out it bothers u and u want him to do it for u and ur relationships so u will be happy.I hope i helped with info for u.Good luck.
 Giggles10000
Joined: 6/17/2011
Msg: 121
if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 11/3/2011 9:22:27 PM
Why not just write a testimonial on his profile and then it wont matter who he writes to...he cant hide it and if he takes it off then you know there is an issue.
 LAMORRIL
Joined: 4/13/2011
Msg: 122
view profile
History
if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 11/4/2011 3:29:11 AM
Sounds like he could be a player to me. Have you met up with him or are you at the chatting stage via the site. You have to make your own mind up but not everyone on here is who they seem to be
 VirtuallyLove
Joined: 9/8/2011
Msg: 124
if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 11/4/2011 11:29:51 AM
Well, I agree with one poster who wrote a century or so ago that this is a very valid question, and one that has plagued many members of singles sites.

It's well-known and mostly accepted that we make opposite-sex friends on these sites which may predate a serious relationship. That's one possible scenario - and it raises the question of what we ought to do with those pre-relationship friendships.

Another scenario is making new opposite-sex friends while in a relationship. Under what circumstances might that be fine or perhaps dubious?

To me there are two main factors. 1) How does your partner feel about it? 2) What are the motivations of the person chatting with new or old opposite-sex friends?

If your partner doesn't like it, and you are serious about them, then your respect for them and their feelings should weigh preeminently, in my view, on your decision. You may ask yourself how important it is for you to continue such friendships - particularly making new ones - when this is causing discomfort for your partner. You may of course decide that your partner is being unreasonable, and may choose to ignore their feelings. Regardless of the merits of that decision, your actions will spell trouble for your relationship. Is chatting with opposite-sex virtual friends worth that? Are you with the wrong person - are your virtual relationships important enough that you should be with someone more tolerant of them?

Your motivations could range from wanting relationship advice, enjoying different forms of companionship, or being on the prowl for the next best thing.

In my case, my former partner was very unhappy with my posting and interacting with others, including women, on a singles site. Though I had zero interest in "prowling" - my main motivation (to the best of my knowledge) being feedback/advice, with a little friendly but non-flirtatious repartee thrown in - I believe now that I was being disrespectful of my mate's feelings, and therefore would never repeat that behavior. It seems ironic to me now that I was asking women for advice about a troubled relationship when that very advice-asking was itself contributing to those troubles! D'oh!

In my opinion, in most cases, if you are truly serious about someone, it would be a good idea to respect their feelings and make a loving gesture by withdrawing or reducing your contact with the opposite sex on singles sites. Again, that's assuming your contact is bothering your significant other.
 luvspjs
Joined: 11/15/2011
Msg: 125
if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 1/15/2012 12:23:29 AM
i dont think thats right

but maybe there are people out there who think that its perfectly acceptable for their partner to patrol the net for women or men when they claim to be content with them!

....

if hes not ready for commitment after gently approaching the situation then youll have to make a choice! I sure hope you see the truth and choose wisely!
 sugarslim
Joined: 3/12/2009
Msg: 126
if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 1/16/2012 3:35:26 AM
hi Jack - I just read your comment - thank you very much - I agree with you about the 'male's natural tendancy' and I think that has a lot to do with it although I know many men who are a one-woman man - oh why did I bond with a 'womanizer' - I am a woman in a similar situation I am working hard to try to accept his 'flirting' 'teasing' that I see not as 'innocent' but rather as coming on to other women - my responses to my worry/fear/low self-esteem are sometimes interpreted by him as 'jealousy' and 'trying to control him' when what it is that I worry about and fear greatly when and if the situation will occur where he 'buys in' ' to one of his 'chat' princesses and the game is on - I just want to be with him and he with me - sometimes a person doesn' t know how fortunate they are to have someone into them and they don't know what they've got until it's gone. (hope I am clear enough - tried my best).
 sugarslim
Joined: 3/12/2009
Msg: 127
if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 1/16/2012 3:39:09 AM
Thank you for your comments - all this internet 'chatting' seems to get out of hand - when a woman is in this kind of situation it's too hard on the head to cope with it. life could be so much more contented if there wasn't so much of the come ons and flirting.
 sugarslim
Joined: 3/12/2009
Msg: 128
if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 1/16/2012 3:45:05 AM
Thank you for your comment - do you have any suggestions on how to 'cut him loose' after 5 years of trying to accept his flirting/teasing?
 sugarslim
Joined: 3/12/2009
Msg: 129
if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 1/16/2012 3:49:26 AM
Thank you for your comments about 'real men' - Question: how do I get out of a similar situation - you know, with the emotional attachment and the bond that's been created?
 Refffaniee
Joined: 11/12/2011
Msg: 130
if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 1/16/2012 11:22:24 AM
I dont agree with what you have said.
If this girl trusts her boyfriend, Then she shouldnt care who he talks to.
Obviously she is insecure with herself, and so she doesnt trust him around other women.. The world is always going to have prettier, skinnier girls . Just how it goes. You need to get over it, otherwise it will just drive him away. But yes if you cant get over it, you need to tell him about it.. How is he going to change it when he doesnt have a clue whats bothering you ?
Here's my relationship for you.
Been with the same guy for 9 months ( my longest relationship infact). Anywho, On our facebook pages it says single for both of us. We personally dont find we need to tell the whole world were together, as long as we know it.. Thats all that matters.
Todays society is all about the lables.. Its ridiculous.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 132
if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 1/16/2012 2:30:43 PM
If I were to start dating someone exclusively, he and I would have already had the discussion about both of us being off POF in a New York minute once we decided to be exclusive.We will be too busy concentrating on our lives together and apart.
 1sexytinkerbell2
Joined: 10/12/2008
Msg: 133
if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 1/16/2012 3:37:44 PM
I have to agree with you...leave the guy alone. IF he really thinks you are perfect he would voluntarily remove himself from the site. You wouldn't have to ask him or check up on him through your favorites. If he has not changed his "looking for", take him at his word that he really is just looking for "friends".

I think we all need to realize that it is a balance. Are you telling him how you feel? Not the emotional stuff that we women do, but an honest heart-to-heart about what your expectations are. You will see that if you take ownership of how you deal with this talk will change how you deal with everything in your life.

Men do not always prefer the "hardass" talking female and they don't want you to sound like their mother. They want to be the hunters. They want to persue their potential mate. I am all for a 50/50 relationship but when you are actually giving 75% time to "woman-up" and put yourself first and let him go. You really will be a better mate and you will sleep better at night. Hope everything works out for you.
 starthrower1968
Joined: 12/14/2011
Msg: 134
if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 1/16/2012 8:55:56 PM
A smart woman observes what a man does; if she likes it, she stays. If she doesn't she goes. Never try to talk a man into something. A mind convinced against its will is of the same opinion still.
 a1970boy
Joined: 11/29/2007
Msg: 135
if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 1/16/2012 10:19:24 PM
REALLY????????????I KNOW you actually know the answer!
 Romeosstorm
Joined: 1/11/2012
Msg: 136
if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 1/16/2012 11:04:55 PM
Ah yes, the classic player....well im the coach and im here to help you out. If you want to avoid staying up a;; night listening to "survivor" by destiny's child, my best advise is to leave now and cut ties. Nothing wrong with having lady friends, but this is a dating site and most people are looking for a relationship. So whatever sweet words hes said to get you hooked, 99% chance hes saying it to someone else. You got yourself a dud. Flush and start over, no big deal.
 Jerilyn
Joined: 1/13/2012
Msg: 137
if i am so perfect to him why does he still need to chat to other women
Posted: 1/17/2012 4:29:36 PM
It would bother me.

What I don't get is why somehow... because its online... it's not supposed to matter, that you shouldn't object to your new SO chatting up single women as often as they want to on this site long after they've hooked up with you. If this was happening IRL would it be acceptable, then? If he was going to singles bars, chatting up all the single women there, would you be okay with THAT? And no-one would tell you that you need to sit back, keep your mouth shut and be cool with it. They'd be telling you to dump him if by some slim chance you hadn't already figured that out for yourself.

Why should the rules change from one scenario to the next? Its not more innocent just because its ONLINE... these are real women he's talking to...
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