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Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 126
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What a Dirt Bag!!!!!Page 6 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Why should he plan his leisure activities around what you are doing? Obviously, if he wanted another date with you and you had not discussed whether you were both either dating other people or capable of doing so, he should have avoided the good time like the plague.

You said people should think of your perspective, how about his? You had the opportunity to invite him and you declined. What he did with his day was his business, not really his problem that you saw him when the likelihood of that happening was what?

His date suggested the venue, he is supposed to also ruin her day too because you apparently can't cope with him dating other people?

He was honest, so in what way does that make him a dirtbag or a player? Maybe you were just ticked that she had the 4 dates to your one?
 Heathen Chemistry
Joined: 5/18/2009
Msg: 127
What a Dirt Bag!!!!!
Posted: 6/22/2009 11:47:19 AM
Hi Tracy,
Sorry you were humliated like this -- how painful! And with all the free-thinkers on here, they seem to have forgotten what its like to be hurt and to feel mistreated.

I'm sorry you went through all this --- I would have felt terrible -- its not about taking someone's freedom away to do what they want-- its about having common courtesy and concern for another's feelings .. its about a deeper sense of concern and ethic that seems to have been forgotten in our society-- now people rap off their mouths without consideration for another and its why I've often been so hurt and offended on these posts-- you'd think I'd just learn and not waste my time looking for advice and sympathy on here anymore ...
Few people understand the nuances of "human decency" these days.
Good luck Tracy- get rid of the jerk and look for A REAL GENTLEMAN.

You are FOS. I have seen some truly jaded and bitter woman on these forums lately.
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 128
What a Dirt Bag!!!!!
Posted: 6/22/2009 11:53:22 AM
The guy is far from a dirtbag, he was acting like a normal man and I feel he played his cards well. He did himself a huge favor by not being involved with a sniffly little immature woman with no game. Then the name calling? Lol
Joined: 1/23/2008
Msg: 129
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What a Dirt Bag!!!!!
Posted: 6/22/2009 12:51:09 PM
smellsealsthedeal, re-read the OP..........she saw him and text messaged him...something to the affect..I see you!...he called her back an hour later!

And she did say she was going with friends right? I wonder if any of her friends were guys? and what the reaction would be if he showed up there alone and she was sitting next to one of her friends...a guy! Oh yeah...women don't do those type of things....only men! Give me a break!

I suppose if we date someone ONE time, and they tell you they'll be in down town Tim Buck Two on friday night we should just stay away from down OMG, don't even think about being out with another date because you simply hadn't proven yourself worth enough to meet my "friends" in a public place.

HE opened the door for an opportunity with the OP to be invited...she closed the door!
So he shpuld stay home and watch TV! BS

And then there's, I a real women with an intelligent head on her shoulders that can think outside the fishbowl! Think from a humans stand point....not just a genders standpoint. Congrats!
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 130
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What a Dirt Bag!!!!!
Posted: 6/22/2009 1:40:05 PM
Unless you have a restraining order on him, he had as much right to be there as you did! You say you're laughing about it, yet calling him a dirt bad shows rather different feelings.
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 131
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What a Dirt Bag!!!!!
Posted: 6/22/2009 3:29:23 PM
*Shakes head*

I still can't grasp why this guy's a Dirt Bag...
Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 132
What a Dirt Bag!!!!!
Posted: 6/22/2009 4:21:22 PM
Artemis2009, I can't grasp that, either. One date and they're exclusive? If that was the case, why wasn't he going with the OP to this jazz thing? So he went with another woman, one with whom he had had four dates. How does this make the OP mistreated and disrespected?

Ahhh, Florida! For the newly wed and the nearly dead. We can now add for the extremely selfish and immature.
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 133
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What a Dirt Bag!!!!!
Posted: 6/22/2009 5:13:29 PM
Yikes! The guy's not a dirt bag just because he went to a concert with a date and you happened to be there with your friends! It it were me, and I liked the guy, I would have walked up to him, told him I was glad to see he found the place, made some small talk about the place or concert, wished him a good night and went back to my friends, hoping he'd call me for another date being that we had the same taste in music and same taste in things we like to do on a Saturday night!
Joined: 1/24/2009
Msg: 134
What a Dirt Bag!!!!!
Posted: 6/22/2009 6:46:41 PM
seems like a nice guy to me, good for him......
Joined: 5/20/2009
Msg: 135
What a Dirt Bag!!!!!
Posted: 6/22/2009 9:10:20 PM
honestly, I see this one as the awkward coincidence.
Joined: 4/4/2007
Msg: 136
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What a Dirt Bag!!!!!
Posted: 6/22/2009 9:24:09 PM
You said yourself if was too soon or whatever for him to meet your friends (WHY? that's weird to me) so why do you care ??? You weren't exclusive, you didn't even want him to meet your friends. He probably thought he'd never bump in to you - and he probably didn't care if he did. I've gone to concerts and such and looked for people I knew and never found them! What are the chances? He didn't do a thing wrong. It's not like you're some scorned ex-lover and he was rubbing his new love in your face.

I doubt you were laughing about this all day with your friends. It obviously bothered you enough to write a post. And that's fine, you're allowed your feelings. You should OWN your feelings - don't shrug it off because the majority disagrees with you.
If you guys had been exclusive and this was something you were doing with your girlfriends and he knew it and showed up with another girl, then yes, dirt bag. In this case, not so much.
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 137
What a Dirt Bag!!!!!
Posted: 6/22/2009 9:48:56 PM
i too think you are overreacting. you only had one date with him. you are a free agent and so is he.

and to call him a dirt bag is pretty extreme and unwarranted in my opinion.

maybe it was his way of telling you he was not that into you.

Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 138
What a Dirt Bag!!!!!
Posted: 6/22/2009 10:07:55 PM
Whole 9 Yards

thank you for the laugh tonite. the boiling water bunny thing was just too much!
Joined: 11/4/2006
Msg: 139
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What a Dirt Bag!!!!!
Posted: 6/22/2009 10:12:41 PM
OP -- WOW.

Just wow.

Sounds to me like you did him the biggest favor ever by cutting him loose. Now he can be rid of you and be better off for it. I'd have prayed for him otherwise...

And I don't pray.

But for him I'd make an exception. Especially considering the post you made.

I think you need to grow up a little before dating again. Really. Not kidding.

Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 140
What a Dirt Bag!!!!!
Posted: 6/23/2009 12:09:12 AM
He's not a dirt bag at all! you wanted to be with your friends when he hinted he wanted to go with you; He thought it would be a fun thing to go to and since you didn't want to go he went with a girl that did. You are not together or exclusive.

You way overreacted; he did nothing wrong.

I think he wimped out afterward like he's a helpless lamb like this girl handcuffed him at gun point to go which is a pile of crap; now that's lame.

If he would have said, "I hinted that I wanted to go with you but you seemed like you wanted to be with your friends, and since we aren't dating exclusively, I just went with her."

If he would have said that, I'd be totally for him. But you acting like he killed your pets is ridiculous. He didn't do anything that wrong. I think you need to get over it.
Joined: 6/9/2009
Msg: 141
What a Dirt Bag!!!!!
Posted: 6/23/2009 12:18:36 AM
Haha... funny story
You need to get yourself a B.S. detector.
Joined: 10/18/2008
Msg: 142
What a Dirt Bag!!!!!
Posted: 6/23/2009 12:56:52 AM
I totally would have gone up to him and said hi. haha..
 ThievesInThe Night
Joined: 9/17/2008
Msg: 143
What a Dirt Bag!!!!!
Posted: 6/23/2009 8:31:34 AM
In response to the OP:

Now if you are on this site of course I expect you to be dating. But don't bring another girl to an event I told you about knowing I was going to be there....what a dirt bag!

My point is that maybe since he knew I would be there with my friends he could have taken his date somewhere else

This is petty and yes, you overreacted.

You already concede that he's going to be dating other people since he's single and not committed to you so that is not even the issue.

So you're simply upset that he took his date to the jazz festival that you're going to be at instead of going elsewhere? Yeah, that is really petty.

Could he have taken his date some where else? Sure. But why should he have to? On the slight chance that he may run into you? You don't own the jazz festival.

Did you guys miss the part where he told me it was their 4th date?...Put yourself in the situation before you comment.

I don't see it as being relevant that it was their fourth date. I've put myself in your shoes and although I may have felt jealousy if I liked the girl, I would realize that we're not in a relationship, that she is going to date other people and I am going to date other people.

He's definitely not a dirtbag and I think he's better off without you.
Joined: 5/18/2009
Msg: 144
What a Dirt Bag!!!!!
Posted: 6/23/2009 9:20:19 AM

Somewhere a pot of water is boiling and a bunny is very scared.

Talk about overreacting. That guy probably doesn't realize what a great escape he unknowingly made.
Joined: 11/4/2006
Msg: 145
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What a Dirt Bag!!!!!
Posted: 6/23/2009 12:18:43 PM

My point is that maybe since he knew I would be there with my friends he could have taken his date somewhere else. .....come on guys? Put yourself in the situation before you comment.

So you're saying that you own the venue now? Is that it? You OWN the place you were at, and had an exclusive guest list to maintain?

Get over yourself.

So by your logic, because YOU happened to be in Place A doing Thing B, this precludes everyone else from being in the same place as YOU? Yea, you really need to get over yourself. Whether he was right in asserting that his date also wanted to attend that same gig or whether he was making it all up...doesn't change the fact that it's a public place that YOU do not own. So you have a lot of nerve even suggesting that simply because this place already has YOU there, that he shoulda taken his date anywhere else BUT there because of it.

Ego. Deflate it. Seriously.
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 146
What a Dirt Bag!!!!!
Posted: 6/25/2009 7:53:44 AM
OP - I disagree with you. If I were in a new town, I would have done the same thing, would have gone out and enjoyed myself instead of sitting home alone.

Like BDJ ^^^^ said, you don't own the venue. Plus the "I see you" text was beyond childish. I'm surprised he even gave you a response.

Unless you had an agreement to be exclusive, you have no ownership on this guy and he has every right to see whomever he wants, wherever he wants.
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 147
What a Dirt Bag!!!!!
Posted: 6/25/2009 8:01:48 AM
From reading your post." I have met him only once".

You are being a bit dramatic, no?

He doesn't owe you anything period.

You didn't sleep with him first meet I hope.

Dirt bag? Nah.
Joined: 7/17/2008
Msg: 148
What a Dirt Bag!!!!!
Posted: 6/25/2009 8:16:10 AM
I am surprised to see the majority of responses were quite harsh and patronizing.

I dont think he is to be considered a dirtbag but rather someone with poor taste. Tacky, yes but not outright jerk.

If I were you, I would have walked up to him and say Wow fancy running into you - I hope you guys will have fun! Be the classy one in this situation.
Joined: 8/31/2008
Msg: 149
What a Dirt Bag!!!!!
Posted: 6/25/2009 8:32:13 AM
I would not be overly impressed, but I would talk to him about it. Upon finding out I was his first choice, but I didnt pick up his hint to join me and my friends, Id have to give him a pass on this-I cant expect a man I date 1 time to sit at home lonely while there is a concert in town, just because I already have plans.

Like I said, I may have felt odd too, under these circumstances, but I guess I have aged to a point where I will talk things out, ask questions, then decide what to do about it.

I used to react to things that hurt my feelings, then regret my actions afterwards. I understand you felt weird about this, but cant you put that aside until you have a chance to discuss the how, and why's of what the person did? You are assuming he did this with you in mind. You assume he thought of you at some point and went ahead anyways. This may have had absolutely nothing to do with you, he may have thought he would never see you at a large venue. You seem to be assuming he did this to get your attention, and the truth is, he may have not thought about that at all.

He did hint to go with you, you turned him down.
 Gangster Kitten
Joined: 4/3/2008
Msg: 150
What a Dirt Bag!!!!!
Posted: 6/25/2009 8:38:15 AM
if he wasn't worthy enough to meet your friends, why were you worthy of a common courtesy of him not showing up at a major event you will be attending?

It seems like he didn't even care you were there and was more interested in the jazz festival.

Shit, something like that I'd love to see. I'm not going to -not- go, because someone I had one date with is going, and didn't want me to come with her.

you texted him during the festival "I see you."

why not just walk to him and greet him? If you liked him enough for this to have pissed you off... Again, why not introduce him to your friends? He's not even your boyfriend. He's a cool guy you just met, right?

And there are some batshit insane women in this thread.

Someone who knows more about the male mind because she read a book written by a comedian, and cites the fact that it's a best-seller so it must be a reliable source of information.

You know, Science Journals never show up on the NY Times best sellers list, and are much more reliable a source of information than a book written by a comedian.

And I've been a man my whole life - and I can say, you know nothing about men.
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