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Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > Is woman's sexuality more selfish than men's?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 38
Is woman's sexuality more selfish than men's?Page 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

women, in our society are not as sexual as they could or should be, i am not bashing women, its the fault of our social norms, there is a double standard
that being said women are selfish lovers, they rarely so any work while having sex, have very little to no imagination concerning sex, and are more concerned with there own pleasure, hence the devorce rate is out of this world, violence is up, and we live in a boring materialistic society

You feel women are unimaginative in bed, HENCE violence is up? WTF?! So, ladies, let's cure the world of war by being sexual freaks!!


I only date submissive women.

It shouldn't be that hard, just TELL them to date you!
 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 39
Is woman's sexuality more selfish than men's?
Posted: 11/1/2009 5:59:11 PM

Seriously though with the right guy I can be hard to beat off with a stick...............

Haha... I'm soooo tempted to catch a plane to Adelaide Spice!
 Crane38
Joined: 8/8/2009
Msg: 40
Is woman's sexuality more selfish than men's?
Posted: 11/1/2009 6:27:59 PM
Is a Dating site really the smartest place to be raising this question or argument? Kind of shooting yourself in the foot aren't you?
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 41
Is woman's sexuality more selfish than men's?
Posted: 11/1/2009 6:36:31 PM
Let's assume all this crap is true. Let's assume that woman want to have pleasure first, or that they don't initiate and that men has to do all the work, and the rest of the blah, blah, blah. So what!!! Get over it.

For a guy it boils down to this. If you only think about your orgasm and getting your rocks off, eventually she is going to feel a little left out. What happens then? "I have a headache. I am busy doing the laundry. Not tonight, I feel ugly." Hmmm. So if you play to this said selfishness, and allow her to have an orgasm, and then another, and then another. To then poor little you only have one. Or maybe, if she dares initiate a second. Horrible. Just horrible.

Then tomorrow, she will give you the eye. She will not initiate, of course because that would defeat the purpose of the article, but she will give you a hint. "Do you still have time before work?" Don't ask for what? What happens when she does the little thing with her eyebrows. I believe every woman has a secret non-verbal thing they do to convey their interest, and it is up to you to find it, read it and if it works on your schedule, pursue.

So what if you do all that the article says and allow this selfishness to persist, when in the other hand, you get all the sex that you want, and have instead to turn her down on occasion. Down, down, woman, for once, I need to sleep!!!
 aSydneyMale
Joined: 5/16/2006
Msg: 42
Is woman's sexuality more selfish than men's?
Posted: 11/1/2009 9:43:53 PM

That is the stupidest fvcking thing I have ever heard in my entire life.

Haha. I was thinking the exact same thing!
 _Icon_
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 43
Is woman's sexuality more selfish than men's?
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:25:50 AM
With some people, it's just more interesting to watch them stumble around in the dark with their misconceptions than it is to try and shed some light.
 _Icon_
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 44
Is woman's sexuality more selfish than men's?
Posted: 11/2/2009 2:56:00 AM
But is it phosphorescence or just chemiluminescence?
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 45
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History
Is woman's sexuality more selfish than men's?
Posted: 11/3/2009 4:44:44 AM

1. In general women don't desire men as much as men desire women. Men desiring women is the focus.

That may be true for the younger generation....but definately isn't the case for "most" women over 40!

2. In general women don't initiate sex as much.

see above!!

3. In general men's fantasies are fulfilled less of the time and are usually easier to fulfill.

Really?? Then please explain all the "Should I have a FMF 3some to please my b/f" threads!

4. In general men give women more pleasure than women give men. The woman's pleasure comes first. Also the man usually spends his time thinking about other stuff to prevent orgasm and never gets to relax.

once again.......change that to "girls" and it might be true. "Women" tend to be
passionate lovers that derive as much pleasure "Giving" as recieving.
If you're angry a woman can have multiple orgasms.......blame God...not the woman!!

5. In general men do most of the physical work and women lie back and that one would be hard pressed to find a couple where the woman does most of the work.

Pffffft! Read the favorite positions threads. You'll see an over abundance of women prefer being on top and controlling their orgasms!!

6. All women use sex to maintain control and have a lower sex drive.

No.......not all women.
and "most" women in my age group are the ones complaining about men not keeping up.

Honestly........if all ^that is true in your relationship......there are other issues that are
affecting your sex life.
 JASartist09
Joined: 7/15/2015
Msg: 46
Is woman's sexuality more selfish than men's? YES!
Posted: 9/28/2015 10:07:29 AM
THIS SITE GOES TO SHOW HOW SELFISH WOMEN ARE!

I HAVE SEXUAL PROBLEMS AND WOMEN DON'T EVEN CARE TO HELP
ALL WOMEN CARE ABOUT IS THEIR ORGASM
WHY ELSE WOULD WOMEN HAVE BETTER ORGASMS AND FEEL MORE PLEASURE THAN MEN,WOMEN EVOLVED THAT WAY,THEY ARE SELFISH! THEY SAY MEN ARE SELFISH? EVEN THOUGH THE FEMALE ORGASM IS 10X AS STRONG AND WOMEN CAN HAVE MULTIPLE ORGASMS,THEY HAVE G SPOT,SO MANY SEX TOYS AND THEY HAVE FULL BODY ORGASMS WHILE MEN ONLY GET ONE WEAK 3 SEC ORGASM.YET MEN ARE SELFISH.ALL OF YOU WOMEN ARE THE SELFISH ONES.YOUR ALL LIKE ADULT CHILDREN!

JUST AVOID WOMEN AND GO MGTOW.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 47
Is woman's sexuality more selfish than men's? YES!
Posted: 9/28/2015 1:10:12 PM
This whole thing sounds to me like nothing but misogynist b u ll s hit.

Women desire men as much as men desire women. However, each works at attracting the other in their own particular way. If anything men are more selfish, because MOST men require an orgasm in order to have concluded a good sexual encounter, while there are a lot of women that enjoy the penetration, enjoy the oral, enjoyed being touched, moved, controlled, rolled and even have men give them facials without them having an orgasm.

I also believe that there's another fundamental difference between men and women. Men want to reach the goal, and unfortunately the goal is to ejaculate. Women in the other hand want the process, the orgasm is nothing but the cherry on the cake. Many women would rather be touched and played with for a long time than have an instant satisfaction.

I don't believe that neither one is more selfish. When ever you have a disparity of sexual satisfaction, the whole relationship starts to become distant, and resentment starts to take hold of one of the other.

To play a blaming game is the surest way to create self fulfilling prophesies that will end up in doom.

Another thing that is important to understand the dynamics of sex and what men and women do, and then how to switch that order. Usually the man DOES. That means he pursues, pushes, moves, penetrates, bangs, pulls, and ejaculates, while women receive. A more effective relationship is one where the women also takes an active roll. Where she kisses the guy, pulls the guy, and even does all the thrusting. That is why reverse cow boy is so powerful, because the woman takes control of the depth, angle and frequency of penetration. When BOTH do and are do into, the sex gets even better and more satisfying for both parties. If anything what men need to learn is to try to satisfy their woman before they satisfy themselves. And a satisfied woman, more often than not wants to satisfy her man, A LOT.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 48
Is woman's sexuality more selfish than men's?
Posted: 9/28/2015 6:13:40 PM

"The generally accepted therapeutic notion that, for women, incubating intimacy leads to better sex is, Meana told me, often misguided. “Really,” she said, “women’s desire is not relational, it’s narcissistic” — it is dominated by the yearnings of “self-love,” by the wish to be the object of erotic admiration and sexual need."


“Meana” should speak for herself. She sounds sexually dysfunctional and projecting it, IMO.


I HAVE SEXUAL PROBLEMS AND WOMEN DON'T EVEN CARE TO HELP


Yeah, that doesn’t sound selfish at all.

Have fun with MGTOW.
 utryme52
Joined: 3/4/2014
Msg: 49
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Is woman's sexuality more selfish than men's?
Posted: 9/29/2015 1:52:04 PM
Why would any intelligent man dare answer this question. It is a no win situation for a man to answer such a question ... LOL
 MillaKitten92
Joined: 9/23/2015
Msg: 50
Is woman's sexuality more selfish than men's?
Posted: 9/29/2015 7:41:13 PM
I do not think women's sexuality is more selfish then men's no. Usually men have a higher libido and desire due to having more testosterone which tends to have that kind of effect. So it kind of ends up the one with the higher testosterone and higher drive seeking it more from the ones that have less - since women have less and are the gender men usually mate with (different for people that are not heterosexual of course).

"1. In general women don't desire men as much as men desire women. Men desiring women is the focus.
2. In general women don't initiate sex as much. "
=
Testosterone as I mentioned. It is nothing to do with their sexualities or women being 'bad' in some way. Just
evolution. Not sure what you mean by 3, you did not really elucidate much. I think 4 and 5 is debatable but could be down to evolutional psychology. 6 is a bit biased (refer to the testosterone point).


I HAVE SEXUAL PROBLEMS AND WOMEN DON'T EVEN CARE TO HELP

Umm well women in general are not really professional psychologists or doctors. They do not know HOW to help.
Also it is not really supposed to be their responsibility to 'cure' you of problems you may have. If you really need help, you should be speaking to your doctor or a psychologist or both.
 NJgirl116
Joined: 7/3/2015
Msg: 51
Is woman's sexuality more selfish than men's?
Posted: 9/29/2015 7:55:50 PM
*Are all of these things true? Has there ever been a woman who did just as much work and gave MORE sexually?*


Are people serious with these questions? If I had a d*** I'd be doing all the work that you do with it. But I have something else, that the work is done TO.

(Now the Cecile and Sean Paul dancehall song is playing in my head: "You looking kinda cute boy, can you do the work/I'm looking for a rude boy, better arms up... When you come inna mi house you better don't play/Just land the big jet upon the runway/Can you give it to me all night all day...")
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 52
Is woman's sexuality more selfish than men's?
Posted: 9/30/2015 6:46:27 AM

But I have something else, that the work is done TO.


And that's the conundrum. All that works that needs to be done and it's always unfinished business. Hi ho, hi ho, is off to work we go. Hi ho, Hi ho.


;-)
Is woman's sexuality more selfish than men's? YES!
Posted: 9/30/2015 5:29:50 PM
(op) I don't know if much of this is from a productive standpoint or with a productive approach.

women need to feel desired-which basically means being selfish and narcissistic is what makes up female sexuality

I think that most people, male and female, would rather that the other person want to be with them in order for there to be any enjoyment.

In general women don't desire men as much as men desire women. Men desiring women is the focus

The first sentence - this may be getting mixed up with that dynamic wherein sometimes almost by chance/arbitrarily an imbalance occurs...a woman can simply indulge in a certain kind of power-play even if that isn't her intention in any kind of unfair or malicious way. Second sentence - this may be getting mixed up with that conventional dynamic wherein it's the man doing something to the woman...he 'does', and she 'receives' or submits.

In general women don't initiate sex as much

See above. But also...I'm pretty sure that they do initiate. But what we have here is that old stereotype which might never have been accurate.

In general men's fantasies are fulfilled less of the time and are usually easier to fulfill

Just don't think that we can even claim this.

In general men give women more pleasure than women give men

Still subjective. Not really accurate.

In general men do most of the physical work and women lie back and that one would be hard pressed to find a couple where the woman does most of the work.

See all of the above again.

All women use sex to maintain control and have a lower sex drive

See all of the above again.

Has there ever been a woman who did just as much work and gave MORE sexually?

This should be recognized as a dumb question.

This whole thing sounds to me like nothing but misogynist b u ll s hit.

Indeed.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 54
Is woman's sexuality more selfish than men's?
Posted: 9/30/2015 6:36:44 PM

5. In general men do most of the physical work and women lie back and that one would be hard pressed to find a couple where the woman does most of the work.


Totally disagree with this statement. Mind you, I put a lot of work. The type of intensity that at the end I am drenched in sweat and breathing very, very hard. But she is doing the same thing, breathing hard. That is not because she is faking some form of imitating me, it's because I am pounding her so hard that as she creates her own sense of counter balance she is working every part of her body. Also look at the kinetic force that is hitting the woman with all the man's body. The whole men's weight pounding right on her clit and deep inside hitting her cervix. Or working it shallow, getting her labia engorged and incredibly wet. Or when you go into a reverse cowgirl or what I call low doggy. Where she does all the work and controls what she feels, where she wants to feel it.

In the end both women and men can put a lot of work. Sometimes men need to learn to let go and let the woman do all the work. It will be awesome and she will love it. Or other times, he takes over and spends her in every which way he wants and it's in total control to give her a bang fest, or go super slow and tender.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 55
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Is woman's sexuality more selfish than men's?
Posted: 11/16/2015 7:09:55 AM
http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/who-has-a-higher-sex-drive-gmp/#sthash.jqKjU2ve.dpuf

Who Has a Higher Sex Drive
According to Louann Brizendine, author of the books, The Female Brain and The Male Brain, the area governing sexuality takes up twice as much space in the male. And the part that controls desire to pursue is 2½ times greater, and more quickly activated. (This is exaggerated and stereotyped in the accompanying photo.) Brizendine tells us that when the male brain is sexually activated pretty much everything but thoughts of sex shut down. Women certainly can stay focused, but they are more likely than men to be distracted with concerns about the kids’ lunches, a scheduled business meeting, whether they look hot enough, or whether they’ll be labeled a “slut” the next day.



On the other hand, women seem to be more capable of multiple orgasm. Some think women’s sex drive could be innately stronger than men’s for that reason. Who knows?



Meanwhile, since women are so much more sexualized both men and women can come to see women as the sexier sex. So men can be with someone who’s very physically alluring. But women aren’t taught to see men in the same way. Men can focus on a breast fetish. What are women supposed to pay attention to? No fetish is attached to the male. No wonder we’re less interested. In bed, women are likely to be focusing on how sexy they, themselves are. And they’re usually worried that they don’t measure up. (Eighty-eight percent of my female students say they spend at least some time in bed doing this.) Not erotic


Personally, I think a woman should have a fetish about my c___. Definitely. (smile)

But here is perhaps THE best quote from the article, at least in my mind:


Sex also provides one of the few vehicles for men to experience both physical and emotional closeness. Men need that intimacy, yet the male role leaves them repressing their need for it. Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity, feels that “For men, sex is the connection. Sex is the language men use to express their tender loving vulnerable side.”

So that may be another reason why men are typically more desirous of having sex.
 JujuO12
Joined: 8/18/2015
Msg: 56
Is woman's sexuality more selfish than men's?
Posted: 11/16/2015 2:04:24 PM
Sex Study Says Female Orgasm Eludes Majority of Women ...
New research suggests that a simple measurement -- a "rule of thumb" -- might be the key to the pleasures of sexual intercourse. About 75 percent of all women never reach orgasm from intercourse alone -- that is without the extra help of sex toys, hands or tongue

IF women are as sexual as men who are there NOT more male prostitutes walking the corners waiting for women to pay them for sex? OR more strip clubs full of young hot men ready to dance nude for women? Why isn't porn created for women?? Even the porn created 'for women' is made by men with male sexuality in mind.
When was the last time you heard about a man talking about faking a orgasm to make a woman leave him alone.
Is woman's sexuality more selfish than men's?
Posted: 11/16/2015 4:16:43 PM
ohenryx ^

I don't think that all that is a very accurate characterization of the state of things. It's another thing which seems to assume certain premises that aren't very well examined or honestly interpreted.
 JujuO12
Joined: 8/18/2015
Msg: 58
Is woman's sexuality more selfish than men's?
Posted: 11/16/2015 4:51:58 PM

http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/who-has-a-higher-sex-drive-gmp/#sthash.jqKjU2ve.dpuf

Who Has a Higher Sex Drive
According to Louann Brizendine, author of the books, The Female Brain and The Male Brain, the area governing sexuality takes up twice as much space in the male. And the part that controls desire to pursue is 2½ times greater, and more quickly activated. (This is exaggerated and stereotyped in the accompanying photo.) Brizendine tells us that when the male brain is sexually activated pretty much everything but thoughts of sex shut down. Women certainly can stay focused, but they are more likely than men to be distracted with concerns about the kids’ lunches, a scheduled business meeting, whether they look hot enough, or whether they’ll be labeled a “slut” the next day.



On the other hand, women seem to be more capable of multiple orgasm. Some think women’s sex drive could be innately stronger than men’s for that reason. Who knows?



Meanwhile, since women are so much more sexualized both men and women can come to see women as the sexier sex. So men can be with someone who’s very physically alluring. But women aren’t taught to see men in the same way. Men can focus on a breast fetish. What are women supposed to pay attention to? No fetish is attached to the male. No wonder we’re less interested. In bed, women are likely to be focusing on how sexy they, themselves are. And they’re usually worried that they don’t measure up. (Eighty-eight percent of my female students say they spend at least some time in bed doing this.) Not erotic


Personally, I think a woman should have a fetish about my c___. Definitely. (smile)

But here is perhaps THE best quote from the article, at least in my mind:


Sex also provides one of the few vehicles for men to experience both physical and emotional closeness. Men need that intimacy, yet the male role leaves them repressing their need for it. Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity, feels that “For men, sex is the connection. Sex is the language men use to express their tender loving vulnerable side.”

So that may be another reason why men are typically more desirous of having sex.


EXPLAIN a few things to help me understand women's sexuality

1. NO male brothels (They opened one in Nevada but it only had male customers. You can not be worried about being called a slut if NO one knows you did it.)
2. Most male strip clubs are only opened 3 days out the week and they are only located in Major cities?
3. Male exotic dancers do not make as much money as female dancers.
4. Fetishes are unusual among women.

Women are not men without penises. We are women. We desire security over sexuality. The article failed to talk about the danger of having a sexual relationship with a man who could very well hurt you or kill you. The article failed to talk about how venerable women are when they are standing nude before a man..... she is taking her very life in her hands by doing this with a random man The article failed to talk about the number of men who are very excited by taking advantage of women. Men who filming women without their knowledge then posting it on porn sites. Women aren't distracted by the laundry or children lunches. THEY are concerned about what this man is going to do to her. The article didn't talk about the number of men who purposely spread deadly STD's or how STD's are easier and more harmful to women than men. These are just a few of the things that run through a woman's mind before she say yes... to a random stranger who has not earned her trust.
And truthfully the number of men who are bad in bed is ridiculous; mainly because men use porn as some kind of guide book on how to have sex..... WHEN porn is made by men for men.... Women are little more than blow up dolls for their sexual pleasures.
Even our orgasms are not our own. We must preform like screaming monkeys to make men feel they are sex gods.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 59
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History
Is woman's sexuality more selfish than men's? YES!
Posted: 11/16/2015 9:58:28 PM
jasartist
No need to shout. And talk about pot kettle black. Why should a woman help you with your sexual problems? Go pay a therapist. And talk about adult children. You should reread this post.....
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 60
Is woman's sexuality more selfish than men's?
Posted: 11/18/2015 4:41:03 PM
1) the original "Rule of thumb" was that a husband couldn't discipline his wife with a stick or rod thicker than his thumb.

2)I was lead to believe that "porn for women" was the "literotica" series of novels for sale. Supposedly the thrill the story centered on was "obsession hurdle", that Boy Meets Girl, some barrier or hurdle is found or created (social, or they hate each other on initial meeting thinking they have stereotypes about each other, or whatever), and then the fellow is so interested in the woman he overcomes it to pursue her and Boy Wins Girl. I think there are TV cable channels whos' movies tend to follow this pattern as well.

IF that is what turns on women IN GENERAL, then I suppose a Gigalo Joe on the street corner doesn't work so well. In other words, porn for women may be out there, its just not recognized b/c it isn't so simple as a body part on display?

3)why are male strip clubs only open 3x a week? I'm not sure, it might be a law in the state to prevent potential homosexual acts (assuming that the clubs don't turn away male customers) created in the 1950's? I could guess perhaps more accurately why the clubs are in the cities, and not found on some back road next to a marsh lit up by the neon lights and pickup trucks in the dirt parking lot....and my guess is, ladies who can afford to live out in the country likely are married (and maybe using the vibrating washing machine to relieve some stress), but the "Sex in the city" type of gal who is free to go look at Chipindale's is living in the big city.

4)men are bad in bed? no wonder I don't sleep with them :) but as for women seeking safety, yes, I've heard that before, and i'm sure it means when they are sober, thinking straight, and have a good sense of self. I have a friend working in Corrections, she gets to deal with the mass murderers, and points out they aren't Dr. Lector. In other words, not charming at all. they tend to be whiny, pessimistic, uncharismatic...well, in this state, at least. yet they still got their female victims, either thru trickery or force or by preying on prostitutes at work. Meanwhile, many rapes might be done not by strangers, but acquaintances. In other words, people the victim know...and might feel secure to be alone with.

5) on a more cheerful note, I suspect that men and women enjoy feeling good physically, and want to feel that above other feelings. They may have different ways to get to that goal, but they both like getting to that goal, and might even put other things aside to get that good feeling.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 61
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Is woman's sexuality more selfish than men's?
Posted: 11/19/2015 7:50:20 AM
Under the heading of "knowledge is power"...

http://dodsonandross.com/blogs/betty-dodson/2014/10/womans-erection-needs-20-30-minutes-adequate-clitoral-stimulation

"What's left out of this conversation is the following information: A woman's erection takes twenty to thirty minutes of adequate clitoral stimulation for her entire vulva to become engorged. The operating word here is "adequate" and will vary from woman to woman.

The point being that few women are even turned on before they get ****ed. Most are getting a few minutes of clumsy clit stim, a few licks from a dry tongue or harsh finger banging. The moment there's a small amount of lubrication, many lovers dive into the vagina going for a home run. No wonder sex therapists emphasize foreplay and no wonder faked orgasms far out number real ones. When we discover how few women are having orgasms during intercourse it's obvious to me that ****ing is really foreplay for masturbation."

I have been the repeated victim of "*grunt*****hard, must put in wet hole now *grunt*"... fully realizing that if I don't speak up, he isn't to know I'm not ready. But really...a man that doesn't understand that it can take women a lot longer to get fully aroused, and therefore fully receptive/reactive, isn't doing his part.

Yes, I like aggressive bend me over the side of the bed and take what you want...sometimes. Hell, I've done the use him for my pleasure and don't care if he gets off a time or two myself. Neither of those are staples in my sexcapades.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 62
Is woman's sexuality more selfish than men's?
Posted: 11/20/2015 8:17:02 AM
speaking generally, the fellow who isn't much interested in exploring a lass's entire form, but just want to feel his Tab A into Slot B...is likely defining the expression "narrow focus" if not "Self focused"
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