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 Goodbye_Girl
Joined: 1/13/2009
Msg: 101
POF LessonsPage 5 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

But gosh - it's always a shocker when the opposite sex doesn't just throw themselves at your feet, isn't it. Online dating ain't what it used to be - real people are here with real intent and are real picky. You can't just order up a date - you gotta work for it.

Thank you YGF for saying what I have always been thinking....
 yabbdabbadoo
Joined: 10/9/2007
Msg: 102
POF Lessons
Posted: 7/30/2009 12:58:05 AM
do not dare to be different or unique; some fishies can not handle it
 mis~fit
Joined: 1/28/2009
Msg: 103
POF Lessons
Posted: 7/30/2009 2:45:06 AM

do not dare to
.... affirm a belief or faith other than "spiritual"

some fishies can not handle it
 abacusblack
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 104
POF Lessons
Posted: 7/30/2009 8:55:41 AM
Some people do not have to be led into temptation. They embrace it with open arms no matter the consequence.
 Goodbye_Girl
Joined: 1/13/2009
Msg: 105
POF Lessons
Posted: 7/30/2009 5:34:16 PM

he reasons why so many REAL PEOPLE are and will remain single real picky the "nothing is ever good enough" , the "I deserve the best", the "I'm too good".... it is so easy to prejudge a picture a d a few words, isn't it? lol....next...next...next...
and when the occasional "weak moment" set in, run off with the first con-artist that comes along....proving their own point to be picky over using common sense.

My my, someone looks like they need a and a breath mint for the bitterness...
I have learned a few POF lessons . One is "Good things come to those who wait".
I am not interested in jumping into a relationship with any man until I get to know who he is as a human being. If all he is thinking about is how fast he can get me into his bed, then he is someone that I don't want to know. Intelligence, a good sense of humour and a quick wit will always grab my attention.
It has nothing to do with being too good, being picky, or "deserving the best", and everything to do with mutual attraction and compatibility.
 ~JaneSays~
Joined: 5/6/2009
Msg: 106
POF Lessons
Posted: 7/30/2009 5:44:07 PM
^seems like you are on the right track.

I don't think people are thinking they are better than others. I am not sure if there is anything wrong with believing you deserve the best.
 Trouble.Maker
Joined: 7/21/2009
Msg: 107
POF Lessons
Posted: 7/30/2009 8:20:46 PM
One lesson I've learnt is to not put up a front or wall. I've found (in my experiences) girls have put up a false front. You spend the time to bring it down, get to know the real them. Eventually though, you find out who they really are and in my experiences it ends up not going down so great.

So one lesson I've learnt is by the first or second date, go for the blitz. Tear down that wall and find out who they truely are. It can be intimidating but it saves everyone all the pain and hassle of breaking up after six months because you find out who they really are.

Again, this is just MY experiences. So I hope no one finds this overly offensive
 Lone_Stranger
Joined: 4/12/2008
Msg: 108
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History
POF Lessons
Posted: 7/31/2009 6:23:40 PM
Sounds like the biggest complaint from women is men who lie about their height.
I've also noticed some women who say they have an average figure when they are 40 + lbs overwieght.
I don't talk to other men about honesty on POF but I've heard it a few times from women.....that there are lots of men who are'nt honest in their profiles.

But there's women too that are'nt honest.

And then there's women where priority #1 in their profile is the man must be much taller than themselves, or be a biker, a bad boy, take them on an endless holiday somewhere or has the flashiest profile.
Or anything else that should not be the top priority when picking a mate.
And then they wonder what happened.

That is why were all here, to meet someone to live happily ever after with.

I guess I've been lucky so far.......I've met some nice ladies here and almost all were more or less honest about themselves in their profile.
And I think we can improve the odds by looking for the substance behind someone's profile.
I also know there are lots of ladies where height is not the biggest priority

The most important thing......be honest cause if you meet, there gonna find out sooner or later anyways.
 whitetigeress
Joined: 7/18/2009
Msg: 109
POF Lessons
Posted: 7/31/2009 6:52:06 PM
my lesson;
one must..
go ahead and put up a profile, state wants and dislikes, etc etc.. honestly
then ...
stick with the forums!


pof is exactly like real life fishing.. you might catch one or you might be fishing forever and never catch one
the latter is why i stick to the forums
if one does come along
i'll be one heck of a surprised fisherwoman!!
 ~JaneSays~
Joined: 5/6/2009
Msg: 110
POF Lessons
Posted: 7/31/2009 7:11:34 PM

my lesson;
one must..
go ahead and put up a profile, state wants and dislikes, etc etc..


I have learned that one must be somewhat careful about this.

However, I have repented and actually feel better now.

Sweet Jane

'cause I am really not like and I was going to that level.
 Lone_Stranger
Joined: 4/12/2008
Msg: 111
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History
POF Lessons
Posted: 8/1/2009 12:19:19 AM
I think it's important to remember than POF is just a tool.....a means to meet someone you would'nt likely meet otherwise.

I think too many become addicted to it as a replacement for a social life........well except maybe those that meet friends here but that friendship is not dependant on this dating site.

And I also like the forums but I think you will not find a partner for the long run unless you are able to leave this dating site behind when you find that special someone.

It's too easy when you keep that list always handy for the next replacement at the first sign of difficulty.
 valley53
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 112
POF Lessons
Posted: 8/1/2009 9:46:23 PM
I think what I've seen so far is that people have too many people in their shopping carts and don't do anything about it. Would you approach this person if you were in the same room, or let the opportunity go by?
If you are looking for honesty, be honest. If you want intelligence first, then look for that.
So many people say they are looking for the same things in the opposite sex, but with the number of people on here, how come they're on here so long? Does anyone actually find anyone here?
 MsBehavin1959
Joined: 4/4/2009
Msg: 113
POF Lessons
Posted: 8/2/2009 12:07:27 AM
I have been on here since April of this year and I have to say I have met some fantastic people. In reality, we all have to be true to ourselves..who are we truly looking for? Someone who completes us? Someone who is our soulmate? I think in each of our hearts we know who we are truly looking for..so in my mind, why settle for less? If you are looking for long term and you truly mean long term, then find the one that makes your heart sing. Every time they enter a room..they make your heart pound and you can't help that smile from ear to ear. That is what I am looking for long term and I won't settle for anything less. I might not find my prince charming on POF but who knows? Just dont' ever give up..you never know what is around the corner. Keep your heart open to possiblilities and be ready for true love..its just a heart beat away...May you find your hearts desire..MsBehavin
 Lone_Stranger
Joined: 4/12/2008
Msg: 114
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POF Lessons
Posted: 8/2/2009 9:00:45 AM
Does anyone actually find anyone here?

Yes
I came close to being gone from here just in the last few months.

You will have setbacks, and you'll make friends along the way............. just don't give up.
Be realistic of who your looking for, try to be postive, take a break from POF if you need it, be sincere and honest and put an effort into your profile.
 abacusblack
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 115
POF Lessons
Posted: 8/2/2009 9:22:56 AM
I like your way of thinking valley53 . I believe that many fish in this pond have forgotten what honesty is. As in honesty with ourselves and with others. At our age we should now realize that getting exactly what you desire is rare and we learn that if we look hard and make a few sacrifices we will get what we need and learn to be happy with our choice. . I think many people like to be on a large favorite list because the feel it portrays them as very desirable and a good catch. Many choose to be on the forums or attend P.O.F. events and keep a running list (favorites) of the people they met like a contact list. I imagine that some, while searching, add any person who they feel is good looking and next they know it is no longer about finding someone but collection attractive people that the will never meet.
In the old days when someone you knew introduced you to one of their single friends or relatives you did not tell them that you would add them to your increasing collection of potential dates and if they were the lucky winner they would be contacted. No, you either liked them or not but were polite and later were honest with them or at least the person that made the introduction.I look it at this way. You are going to the supermarket to buy a watermelon. You know exactly how big it should and how ripe. When you get to the produce section there is a shelf with 200 watermelons. You notice the watermelon that you want and put it in your cart. You prepare to leave satisfied but glance at the shelf again. There is a bigger and brighter one right next to where the one you chose was sitting. You now decide that this one is better but before you reach for it you see an even better one ect. ect. Now you are so confused you lose your taste for watermelon. You were satisfied with the first one, why did you not just enjoy it?
 Fa que
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 116
POF Lessons
Posted: 8/2/2009 9:27:46 AM

You notice the watermelon that you want and put it in your cart. You prepare to leave satisfied but glance at the shelf again. There is a bigger and brighter one right next to where the one you chose was sitting. You now decide that this one is better but before you reach for it you see an even better one ect. ect. Now you are so confused you lose your taste for watermelon. You were satisfied with the first one, why did you not just enjoy it?


For the sake of equality, you should have added sausages to this analogy.

Just sayin
 Entzauberung
Joined: 2/12/2009
Msg: 117
POF Lessons
Posted: 8/2/2009 9:50:28 AM

I think many people like to be on a large favorite list because the feel it portrays them as very desirable and a good catch

This may be true for some, but not all.

Some time ago a women added me to her favorites, but she never wrote. I did nothing a first, but after a few weeks I noticed she published a change to her profile so took the opportunity to make first contact and comment on the desirable/positive change.

In her 2nd message to me she wrote that I was on so many favorite lists and was way too popular for her and I never heard from her again. She lives half a province away so I wasn't particularly disappointed. The irony was that she was on at least twice as many lists as I was. Go figure!
 Walts
Joined: 5/7/2005
Msg: 118
POF Lessons
Posted: 8/2/2009 10:11:22 AM

So many people say they are looking for the same things in the opposite sex, but with the number of people on here, how come they're on here so long? Does anyone actually find anyone here?


If you're here long enough you will discover this is one of the biggest conundrums that you will face if you believe you are serious in your search. I keep being told this is a great place to meet people and find friends,,,,,by people that have been here 3 years or more??????? I keep questioning how they are actually making out finding the "one",,,,,knowing the answer wayyyyyy before I ask the question.


A couple of lessons that I have found here,,,,I got tons by the way,,,,,

Indecision kills.

Speed kills.

If ya snooze,,,, ya lose.

Words are irrelevant. Actions aren't.

And words from Bertuzzi fits here also,,,,,, "It is, what is".
 rockondon
Joined: 2/21/2007
Msg: 119
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History
POF Lessons
Posted: 8/2/2009 11:46:43 AM
I've learned that not everyone finds true love on here and that I should not let that be a deterent.
 debra2008
Joined: 1/27/2008
Msg: 120
POF Lessons
Posted: 8/2/2009 1:38:01 PM
f
a
l
l
i
n
g off the wagon.

People sometimes say whatever they can possibly think of to explain why they are not interested in you. My advice is to not give any credence whatsoever to whatever comes after No thanks....

if it doesn't make sense it is because what would make sense is impolite, hurtful, would not result in the desired outcome, is too complicated to express or is unknown even to the rejecting party, it just is. This is not rocket science.

Our minds can come up with a multitude of reasons to justify why the person who just rejected us is somehow not worthy of us anyway. Why resort to such base and vainglorious tricks? It is just plain not nice. Does your ego truly need that? NO!

It just IS. Get over it. Look for patterns i.e., all the buxom (ha ha!) blondes with 20 inch waists, beautiful skin and fack me eyes don't even read my messages: Who cares why? - just don't message any more similar types.

You find yourself attracted only to skinny women - but skinny women won't date you..or not twice anyway....hmm. Decide - am I more attracted to my hand than a plumper woman?

Hmm. Plump women will not date me....try Ugly plump women with jobs.

They won't date you....hmm try ugly plump women with no jobs and a car.

They won't date you... try ugly plump women with no jobs and no vehicle etc etc etc.

They won't date you.... find a reputable service, and immerse yourself in work or activities you enjoy.

You could try to get an objective opinion on your looks (rate me) your bait (profile reviews), your messages and approach (ask a female forum, your friends) if you have any intention of trying to improve yourself so that you are more attractive to the women you find attractive. Then after you have effected that change try again, drilling down until you catch a fish at some level of attractiveness to you.

But if you want to be loved exactly as you are, then change the pattern of who you are trying to attract or find a more attainable goal in life than partnership.
back up onto the wagon.
g
n
i
b
m
i
l
c




No offense intended to anyone - I'm exactly where we all are on here - tons of faves or not.
 Bellaâ„¢
Joined: 5/7/2009
Msg: 121
POF Lessons
Posted: 8/2/2009 1:46:56 PM

how come they're on here so long?


Forums
 felisidad
Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 122
POF Lessons
Posted: 8/2/2009 7:55:29 PM
I dont agree with this at all, I am short and I dont mind man who are the same hight or just a little bit taller, that is so not the most important thing in life.
 ~JaneSays~
Joined: 5/6/2009
Msg: 123
POF Lessons
Posted: 8/2/2009 10:09:31 PM
^You are not exactly a dwarf. Different people look for different things in others. While this is not a lesson, it is important to keep in mind.

Sweet Jane ---- Your Average Narcissist
 MediaNaranja
Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 124
POF Lessons
Posted: 8/2/2009 10:43:51 PM
Learned that there are a lot of unhappy people here...not getting the results they hoped for. Maybe expections are too high?

Meeting someone interesting ASAP is helpful. No sense in beating around the bush.
The bush can be tricky.
MN
 Lone_Stranger
Joined: 4/12/2008
Msg: 125
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History
POF Lessons
Posted: 8/3/2009 8:29:22 AM
You could try to get an objective opinion on your looks (rate me) your bait (profile reviews),

I tried that a couple years ago but my dog got a higher rating than I did !
(he was a good looking dog).........lol !
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