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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 stunt groom
Joined: 5/28/2009
Msg: 23
I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.Page 5 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)

I feel the same way, and to make it worse, people keep telling me I should stop being so self-sufficient otherwise there is no room for men in my life. I don't know anymore - first they tell you to go and become independent, then it turns out that independent is not attractive. I don't want to be alone either but alone is way better than in a failing relationship. Now that we've stopped settling for less, had our share of learning experiences we are much better at not even starting what's not viable.


Actually, this is a very lucid comment. Being in a bad relationship is like jumping off the titanic with an achor tied to your ankle.... Don't start a fire in your fireplace if it's going to burn your house down.. Now I'm confused..even...
 El_Mariachi
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 24
I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/27/2009 6:40:10 AM

I am very used to being single,and I love it! What scares the heck out of me is that one day I am going to have to share what I have with someone.


Same here.

The longer I am single, the more I worry that when I do find someone (I am NOT scared I'll remain single, but I would be OK with that prospect) that I'll have to TRY to get used to all the trappings of having a relationship again.

Sharing things and space has never been my strong point. I am an only child, I never had to share. Having to inform someone else about what I'm doing/where I'm going? Not my bag.


Maybe if I was in relationships my whole life single would be worse.


As a teen and up till I was about 26 or 27.. I was NEVER single longer than a month or 2. For the last 10-11 years, I've been single more than coupled.. a lot more. For someone who always had an SO, I thought for sure I'd go insane, but it was just the opposite.

I really got into my space being truly my own space or my time being truly my own time.


~~~~~Well when you actually get completely comfortable being single, you will finally be ready to be in a real and healthy relationship!~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


I want to agree, but when I think about shacking up again and having to do the SHARE-ZIES thing, I want to break stuff.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 25
I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 6/27/2009 12:15:43 PM

There's no good reason why we must give up all the things we enjoy about being single.
If a relationship requires that we do, perhaps we all need to ask ourselves how healthy a relationship it really is?

Boy ain't THAT the truth. If it's just like me being single except once in a while someone's with me, that's something to consider.
 hilltop70
Joined: 3/4/2008
Msg: 26
I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 7/6/2009 9:22:28 AM
nobody wants to be alone but to be in a bad relationship because u dont want to be alone is a very bad thing to do if you are comfortable with yourself run with it you will meet someone eventually
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 27
I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 7/7/2009 9:38:33 PM

I'll be sitting at home and name off all of the wonderful perks to being alone-but then, I want to go grab a bite to eat....I HATE eating alone....or I want to go see a movie....I HATE going to the theater alone....

Both of these things can actually be more enjoyable once you get used to them, especially movies. Heck, you don't talk to anyone in a theater anyway, the whole point of being there is to watch the movie, and you don't have to plan around someone else when you want to see something or worry they won't like the type of movie you like. You just grab your keys and go.

Restaurants, you just sit at the bar and meet new people, or grab a booth and bring something to read. It can be pretty relaxing.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 28
I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 9/28/2009 1:48:57 PM
^^^Yes, actually which should make it easier for those who are, since they have that much less competition.

It's more like being open to it if it's something that works for you, rather than trying to hunt it down and force it. If it happens, great - if it doesn't great. It's about being happy regardless.
 Walygatr
Joined: 8/25/2009
Msg: 29
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I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 9/28/2009 4:13:12 PM
^^^^^^What he said plus I'll add, I need to find me a woman who make me happier than being single.
 Princesgyal
Joined: 8/2/2009
Msg: 30
I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 9/30/2009 9:23:49 PM
lmfao, welcome to the club
we all fee that way thats why we're all so bitter on pof .
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 31
I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 11/13/2011 9:45:26 AM

I feel sorry for people who need a significant other to be happy.

ditto hey i would like a relationship, but not if i have to twist myself into a pretzel
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 32
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I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 11/13/2011 1:35:13 PM
I'm used to it.... not scared at all.
But I do feel sorry for those whom I could have given solace to, hugged or might have loved tenderly... Sadly, those gifts will remain unopened, like a soft woolly sweater that will never be worn.

In the end, we are all alone... there's people right now who are married but are very lonely.

Look at it this way: half of all marriages end in divorce... that's 50%.

Of that 50% who remain married, let's say half are truly happy and the other half are just staying together for the kids or whatever. So 25% are really lonely and unhappy but are staying in for whatever reason... that's a lot of wasted years, if you ask me.

That's a whopping 75% of relationships that are unhappy!

Lots and lots of wasted years. I'm a tired old man. Even though I don't look it, I'm practically done with the whole thing.

I enjoy my life, my food and my travels.

I've truly loved and have been loved even for a short time. And for me, that will have to be enough.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 33
I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 11/14/2011 5:36:55 AM
single is the new black...
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 34
I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 11/14/2011 9:44:50 AM

Huh?
You mean like "being single now is like being black in the 1800's. You're ostracized and looked down upon and treated like you are less than. Those that have trouble maintaining relationships, being in relationships, finding relationships, etc. go through really bad times. So it's scary being single, which makes it on topic"?

Or do you mean "being single is the new black, like how fashion retards start calling everything the new black, like everyone wants to wear it for it's feature enhancing and hiding abilities. Or basically, it's common, and it seems witty to say it so that I can say something and feel like I am part of the group"?

Alrighty...someone's corn flakes got pissed in this morning...sheesh. Overreact much?
 stella1952
Joined: 10/26/2011
Msg: 35
I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 1/6/2012 5:46:03 PM
I too feel the same way. I don't want to grow old alone. I want the companionship of a partner. I have had dates on pof but just lucky with 1 but that is ok. Hopefully someone will see my profile and come checking out my line. It is not any fun being alone. I hate the loneliness of it all. I too am starting to get a little bit scared.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 36
I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 1/7/2012 5:13:34 PM

Well we come into the world alone and probably go out of it also alone so nothing wrong with that we all die sometime.


Getting used to it and it does scare me because I don't want to die alone..

I got news. There's no probably - you die alone no matter how many people are there in the room with you. They aren't coming with you. No matter how much they want to. Even if the person next to you does die when you do, you're likely not taking the same path.

Dying involved or not while you're single? That's a bit more realistic. But trying to avoid dying alone cannot be done. No choice in the matter.
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 37
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I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 1/7/2012 5:21:54 PM
If you are happy that you left the world a better place because of you being there and helping others, then you might still die alone, but your memory will live on for some time.

I feel the same about being single........I do not dislike it at all, and if I can still enjoy others, touch their heart, soul, and mind, along with the body they offer me.......I am a much better person, and happy with my choices.

cd..........
 imblonde
Joined: 1/25/2011
Msg: 39
I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 1/8/2012 5:17:43 PM
I know what you mean,been divorced 3 yrs, not dating. Almost scared to go on a date.
 imblonde
Joined: 1/25/2011
Msg: 40
I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 1/8/2012 5:21:12 PM
That how I feel too. I think about it but I get a knot in my stomach.
 bjhst1149
Joined: 3/17/2008
Msg: 41
I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 1/8/2012 5:59:33 PM
I agree being single does suck especially when all of your friends are getting married and heck I dont even have a girlfriend to bring to the wedding.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 42
I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 1/8/2012 6:45:56 PM

I agree being single does suck especially when all of your friends are getting married and heck I dont even have a girlfriend to bring to the wedding.

Good news. Wait long enough and a lot of them will divorce and come looking for you again - it only seems like they are in a better place now. In 10 or 20 years they'll be where you are, but out the money they spent on the marriage and the divorce.

My friends thought I was crazy not to want marriage or kids before they all settled down in their 20's. They're all now back on the market - so in the end, what's the definition of crazy?
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 43
I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 1/9/2012 4:10:24 PM

I don't totally understand it either. It seems that the folks who are not seriously looking are the ones who do find something serious. That's just the way it is.

I get it. People are drawn to people who's comfort comes from within. They want to be around people who are content and don't need others to make them happy. They don't want to be signed up for the job of entertaining someone else. Everyone wants to go the party, very few want to host it.
 cusechick26
Joined: 2/27/2011
Msg: 44
I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 2/22/2012 8:13:48 PM
I do have the fear that I will end up alone and being single forever. Maybe there are too many people that fit the criteria we are looking for so that 1 person does do it for us causing us to be single. Or maybe the ones we like are already taken so your left wondering and still single. Being single allows you to know what u really want and find who you really are. Enjoy that time. Freedom is a luxory in the single life
 Cat*Eyes
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 45
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I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 2/23/2012 12:05:31 AM
When I put new batteries in my vibe, dido toy and expereince more "O"s than possible, than I could with a real man, for a very few moments after that, I am ok with being single. But, I wish a real man could give me that many "O"s. I still desire a real man, a SANE man in a loving and caring, sexually fulfilling, relationship, with NO oral contact with a man as good looking as myself as I am, as I am, as a woman, very good looking. I seek a man and or men, as good looking as me. I really seek the right man, and or men. I answered your question well.
 Javan2
Joined: 7/9/2005
Msg: 46
I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 2/25/2012 9:38:38 AM
Being alone is fine. Suck it up and stop whining !
 peepslob
Joined: 6/18/2011
Msg: 48
I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.
Posted: 2/26/2012 5:54:57 PM
I have been single for about 10 years or so. You just get used to being by yourself, plus there aren't that many dating opportunities where I live. It is better than being in a relationship full of drama. I prefer to date Non-Americans, so I can wait until I move to a foreign country.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > I am getting used to being SINGLE, which scares hell out of me.