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 Congleton_Lingerie
Joined: 1/24/2016
Msg: 222
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Are men on here really interested in marriagePage 10 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
I'm not.

I've found it challenging enough to find people who won't try to jerk me around, manipulate me or otherwise use my feelings as a means to control me. Of the dozens of people I previously dated, I found only a handful of them to be all-around genuinely good people who are trustworthy and with whom I remain friends.

The Pseudo-Bachelor life is just fine for me. I've been with the same woman for over three years now, and marrying her won't make me any happier. It would introduce the possibility of a load of legal non-sense that I can avoid altogether by not allowing more authority figures into my life.
 kbbroiler
Joined: 12/21/2014
Msg: 223
Are men on here really interested in marriage
Posted: 5/15/2016 10:16:14 AM
Ok as a guy I am not interested in marriage on here or off this site. I would not be married in this life time. This may piss the ladies off but the truth be known there is really no benefit for a man to be married.

Also, the risk the man who gets married entails. For a man getting married is just a suicide mission because if it doesn't work out he will lose half of what is his and maybe more. Alimony, child support which the courts are more friendly towards the women than they are for the men. I made a decision back in 2004 that this was not for me. My eyes opened to how the real world is.

I see the men who are married at work or at the gym are always tired and miserable. It's funny I work the nightshift and been doing so for 16 years and the co-workers I've worked with are or have been married and have kids. I see how miserable and tired they are. And I'm supposed to sign up to for this. I'm never tired for working nights either. I don't even sleep on my break and these people do that.

Hell No!

I've even gone farther because I don't want children and I got that taken care of last year on April 8th 2015 I went in for a vasectomy. No regrets and no chance no slore is going to try and screw with me with I'm the father.

Ladies you have to ask yourself why are less and less men are getting married. You will use shame tactics about men need to man up, grow up and take on responsibility and so forth. This used to work where men would fall for this B.S and then get married and be unhappy and see his wife change before his eyes and then would file for divorce.

The fact is it's not men that have to change it's the women. You have turned so many of us off we have decided it isn't worth being with you especially if you will be gone after a number of years. The way how women are in western culture is shameful. This is why most men aren't going to get married because the deck is stacked against him to lose his shirt. I've seen it happen to all types around me so ladies if really up to you to change to get us to come back to the plantation. Yes, slavery and that's how a lot of men view marriage including me.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 224
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Are men on here really interested in marriage
Posted: 5/15/2016 11:03:12 AM
^^^^^ Everything you have said I have heard on the Tom Leykis Show. Are you a listener?

The book "Men on Strike" by Dr. Helen Smith covers this, too.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 225
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Are men on here really interested in marriage
Posted: 5/15/2016 12:07:51 PM

I see the men who are married at work or at the gym are always tired and miserable. It's funny I work the nightshift and been doing so for 16 years and the co-workers I've worked with are or have been married and have kids. I see how miserable and tired they are.

I wouldn't coincide it with marriage so much, tho. I see many people in an LTR who live together who have substantial issues coming up over time, but they're Like a married couple... and just can't/won't breakup anyway because it'd bring more pain in the short-term. So they continue to be together. Although easier due to lack of paper work, and at Some point they'll likely break up, it won't happen over night.

Also the kids thing -- I think that many times is the reason, not the signing of a marriage contract that happened years ago after they already have been pretty much living the married life anyway. They get married to do the kids thing, and the kids thing becomes a burden that tests their true compatibility thru thick & thin. Whether officially married or not, living together for years with kids -- it's not some easy "Yep, let's break up," and IMO, they're just as apt to be the worn-out "blah" types observed. :)
 ThatGirlNamedAlli
Joined: 12/28/2013
Msg: 226
Are men on here really interested in marriage
Posted: 5/15/2016 2:26:20 PM
I was just at the grocery store not even an hour ago. While buying carrots I see/hear two men behind me greet each other, talk work stuff, and one guy say he's getting married next weekend.
The other guy says oh wow congratulations. I couldn't help but catch a tint of happiness in his voice, like "oh wow, you're going to be in my boat now!", mixed with a tint of pity, like "oh wow, i feel for you man". :)
Anyway, it was a fun eavesdrop.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 227
Are men on here really interested in marriage
Posted: 5/15/2016 2:36:10 PM

This is why most men aren't going to get married because the deck is stacked against him to lose his shirt.


The solution around that is to ask for a pre-nup, if there's the hint or pressure of possible marriage. Many women will bail on that idea, using the excuse that a pre-nup is planning for divorce, and they are positive that the next marriage will be the last, and will be the one that lasts until death-do-us part, so there's no chance of divorce. Famous last words by some divorcees who need a spreadsheet to keep track of who they married in the past. I don't plan on getting in a car accident and totaling the car, or having my house burn down, but I have insurance to cover either incident in case it happens. Just make sure you include your favorite shirt in the pre-nup as one of your possessions, so that you won't lose it.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 228
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Are men on here really interested in marriage
Posted: 5/15/2016 3:53:10 PM

The solution around that is to ask for a pre-nup, if there's the hint or pressure of possible marriage. Many women will bail on that idea, using the excuse that a pre-nup is planning for divorce, and they are positive that the next marriage will be the last

Yeah, I never got the reason why people would freak out over the concept of a prenup in and of itself. If they believe it really will be the last -- what's to fret? Having a fair/understandable prenup in-case-sh!t-happens shouldn't be something to get upset about. It's not a plan for divorce any more than, as you put it, an insurance policy is a plan for burning it down.

You could say that not having a pre-nup would keep someone in an Unhappy marriage longer. But so can a lot of other things. If there was an optional checkbox at the bottom of a marriage contract in which a potential divorce would cost nothing, have no lawyer fees, and wouldn't be dragged thru courts and would very efficient -- would one think checking that box would be a bad thing? As in "You're trying to make divorce easier! It Should be an expensive, pain-inducing process where lawyers get as much money as they can! Part of the burden!"?
 kbbroiler
Joined: 12/21/2014
Msg: 229
Are men on here really interested in marriage
Posted: 5/16/2016 9:52:24 AM

^^^^^ Everything you have said I have heard on the Tom Leykis Show. Are you a listener?

The book "Men on Strike" by Dr. Helen Smith covers this, too.


I didn't want to reveal my super power. LOL. J/k But yes I do listen to the Tom Leykis show and I have read Dr Helen Smith's book. W

What Tom and Helen say are pretty much spot on about marriage and women. This is why we have this shift of more and more men not wanting to get married. They see what a lousy deal it is. For me, I have MGTOW beliefs but I'm really an IGMOW. I've gone my own way.

The fact radical feminism has now worked against women finding a suitable mate. The fact is I've always said marriage is a suicide mission if you are a man so why do it.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 230
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Are men on here really interested in marriage
Posted: 5/16/2016 11:05:25 AM
^^^^^ Gotta give my fellow Leykis listener here a high five. I was married once and fortunately the divorce was amicable. I didn't lose a thing, but I wouldn't take that chance again.
 kalasmontreal
Joined: 2/26/2016
Msg: 231
Are men on here really interested in marriage
Posted: 5/21/2016 4:33:28 PM
I might be the minority but in my case I want to settle down, but my other friends are still in the ''casanova'' phase haha
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 232
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Are men on here really interested in marriage
Posted: 5/21/2016 4:37:53 PM

I might be the minority but in my case I want to settle down, but my other friends are still in the ''casanova'' phase haha

Yeah, but if you don't have someone you've been on some dates with (or someone you know IRL but haven't dated yet but really like) -- why would you want to settle down when there is no Who?? :) Settle down with an insert-woman-here? That's kind of odd, don't you think?

I can understand wanting to find girls who have attributes for settle-down-compatibility. But I'm not going to have the feeling of actually wanting to settle down, when there's only a fictional image of someone to settle down with. That'd be weird, wouldn't it?
 wtod2015
Joined: 6/21/2016
Msg: 233
Are men on here really interested in marriage
Posted: 7/13/2016 12:46:25 AM
no marriage is a bad idea. I like more than half my stuff an not paying support or alimony....
 sweetnshythatsalie
Joined: 6/17/2016
Msg: 234
Are men on here really interested in marriage
Posted: 7/13/2016 7:50:35 AM
I was married for nearly 20 years and even though I'm only 42 I will not marry again for financial reasons, living in sin is quite fine by me. I personally think marriage is only needed if you plan to have kids, and believe me I know you can without marriage, lots of people I know have kids before marriage, I was married almost 8 together 11 before we had a kid.

I hardly see men on POF with looking to marry as their intention, I avoid them like the plague when I do. Funny I'll see lots of men with "wants a relationship" but so many will say I just got out of a long relationship, the end was horrible, I'm not ready, to which I'll say how long....I know it's going to be laughable... 2 years....3 years...to which I reply well I was with the same man for nearly 23 years and I slowly watched him die for 9 months....I WIN
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 235
Are men on here really interested in marriage
Posted: 7/15/2016 8:41:59 AM

When one of my daughters was 10, she used to "plan her wedding". She had it all planned out, down to the smallest detail, except for the "unimportant" detail of who the groom would be. When a woman says she wants to get married, before knowing to whom, it sounds kind of like that to me.


As usual RenaissanceMan is spot on.
 ThroatLozenge
Joined: 3/2/2016
Msg: 236
Are men on here really interested in marriage
Posted: 7/15/2016 9:00:29 AM
I imagine my next victim will end up widowed if statistics are accurate.

My life insurance policy is my new sales pitch...
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 237
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Are men on here really interested in marriage
Posted: 7/15/2016 12:44:19 PM

Funny I'll see lots of men with "wants a relationship" but so many will say I just got out of a long relationship, the end was horrible, I'm not ready, to which I'll say how long....I know it's going to be laughable... 2 years....3 years...to which I reply well I was with the same man for nearly 23 years and I slowly watched him die for 9 months....I WIN

Well, first -- many people "don't know what they want", really. It depends on the person they interact with and also how much latent social/peer pressure makes them want to want something VS actually wanting. Guys generally are comfortable with more options than a typical gal. Depending on the girl -- a quick fling, just casually dating, being an item but not life-meshing, or serious and riding off in the sunset. On POF, it's always best to select looking-for-relationship and then selecting Dating (not LT) on the other selection in the profile. Putting Dating but nothing serious will make one look like they're just looking to pork around.

And IMO, 2-3 years -- that's enough to leave a big an impact as anything else on someone, beyond merely missing someone.

Co habitation is fine in the future, Getting in a relationship with someone that already has a kid/kids is ok to. But probably not tying the knot so to speak.

There shouldn't be any actual pressure to get married on the dotted line if you're not having kids with someone. Even with a prenup in the agreement, I don't see the big reason to. But, human culture is like high school... or shall I say, high school is what human culture's based on, as that's where it began. ;)
 rod1919us
Joined: 11/3/2011
Msg: 239
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Are men on here really interested in marriage
Posted: 8/28/2016 2:12:40 AM
"Are men on here really interested in marriage"

I can't speak for other men, but I can say for myself...HELL NO!
In reference to Stephen A. Smith's quote of the Dallas Cowboys I'll say the same for Marriage. Marriage "is an accident waiting to happen. What can go wrong...will." And me being a black man, I look around at other black men...I don't see a whole lot of success when it comes to marriage. There's an old saying "a smart man learns from his mistakes, but a wise man learns from other people's mistakes..." I've observed the horrors of marriage (esp in the military). And my personal belief...if it'll happen to them...it'll happen to me. One of the best aspects of this whole MGTOW movement is I get to listen to their stories and learn from them. I listen to the stories of men who have been divorced and I learn from their mistakes. And btw, looking at the trends Marriage will soon become obsolete anyways. Just sayin...
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 240
Are men on here really interested in marriage
Posted: 8/28/2016 11:14:53 AM
" It just helps, sometimes, to function more smoothly in our current society. I’m glad I tried it, at least once."

And there's the stereotype associated with marriage. When a person reaches a certain age (varies with each person) and they have never been married, they are often labeled as being defective, and viewed as something wrong with them. But if someone is divorced, that's golden and the proper way to be single later in life.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 241
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Are men on here really interested in marriage
Posted: 8/29/2016 8:42:25 AM

What I really miss was the feeling of being in a couple—a “team”, as it were. Someone who needs you and who is there when you need them. Not having to worry about finding dates for concerts, a sympathetic ear for complaints about life, a regular, responsive sex partner, someone who can join in intelligent conversation, and creative projects…. All of that stuff. (sigh)

Basically, it's feeling lonely, right? :) Take young people living in the heart of Chicago doing fine, and take young people living way out in the spaced-apart country. One's going to on average have an older age of marriage while the other will be much younger getting hitched. In one, you're much more apt to get lonely than the other. Given enough time where more friends are are moved away and/or getting hitched -- that feeling of "something missing" is a combo of situational peer pressure + loneliness fueling it.

For me -- I can only feel what you refer to if/when I already have the ball rolling with a gal I Really Like (+ nothing sticking out in her life, like young kids, that would conflict with the idea). IMO, it's loneliness to have the feeling you describe have any strength... so when someone (usually with kids living in suburbs) expresses that to me while raising an eyebrow at me for not feeling that -- I turn it around on them and say "Sorry, I'm not lonely. And I don't get warm fuzzies just being with someone non-platonically who'd make a nice roommate. There's no void to fill. I hold my own quite well. (smile)"
 Butterchickenchuck
Joined: 9/18/2015
Msg: 242
Are men on here really interested in marriage
Posted: 8/29/2016 9:06:07 AM
"What I really miss was the feeling of being in a couple—a “team”, as it were. Someone who needs you and who is there when you need them. Not having to worry about finding dates for concerts, a sympathetic ear for complaints about life, a regular, responsive sex partner, someone who can join in intelligent conversation, and creative projects…. All of that stuff. (sigh) "



As Al on Happy Days used to say :


ah yup yup yup yup
 CynthiaSM
Joined: 3/29/2014
Msg: 243
Are men on here really interested in marriage
Posted: 8/29/2016 11:50:38 AM


What I really miss was the feeling of being in a couple—a “team”, as it were. Someone who needs you and who is there when you need them. Not having to worry about finding dates for concerts, a sympathetic ear for complaints about life, a regular, responsive sex partner, someone who can join in intelligent conversation, and creative projects…. All of that stuff. (sigh)

Basically, it's feeling lonely, right?

No, loneliness is not even close. If we were to plot these points on a continuum, lonely would be left of zero; "lonely" is due to a hole in the individual that can not filled by being with another. The "couple-a "team"" would be to the right of zero; it is symbiotic because it combines two whole people and creates more than just 2 people filling space together.

Lonely sits home (or the bar, or other vapid pursuit) waiting to start their life when the 'other' appears. The person who can empathize with that 'team-ness' is out living their life knowing that the other would enhance the experience.

I also miss that team-ness. It is not a hole, it is more than a feeling.
 norwegianguy456
Joined: 6/11/2015
Msg: 244
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Are men on here really interested in marriage
Posted: 8/29/2016 1:38:12 PM

No, loneliness is not even close. If we were to plot these points on a continuum, lonely would be left of zero; "lonely" is due to a hole in the individual that can not filled by being with another.

I don't agree. And to re-iterate, it's Feeling lonely (not required living in an isolated prison cell). One wouldn't have to have Zero interaction with others in order to feel lonely. Nor do I think feeling lonely is a "hole" in the individual that cannot be filled by being with another. Some are more sensitive than others. Some are going to feel lonely if they live alone & work alone, and live out in the country and don't get out much. They'll want to to avoid feeling lonely.

Someone may not feel very lonely and instead pretty content working at a socially interactive job, having pen-pals online and interacting with them for the most part, along with a few IRL friends from time to time -- all while living alone. Some people have their kids move out of the house, and are going by about their normal every day lives and feel more lonely. YMMV.

I think those who yearn to have a "teammate" feel lonely to one degree or another without one, hence the yearning. As you say, "it combines two whole people and creates more than just 2 people filling space together," (for better or for worse - lol).

I understand that one doesn't HAVE to live a socially lonely life to have the desire for the Concept of the "teammate" thing when single. But it sure will get it going. I can see people who aren't socially lonely, but almost all their friends are paired up, so their free time is either spent with family members or couples of some sort -- and thus having a yearning to do-that-too, moreso than merely wanting to focus dating on being potentially-relationship-viable-only if they've been too single for too long .

It's not necessarily feeling lonely about their life as a whole -- but lonely on the opp-sex interaction part. I guess an analogy would be someone who moved away from all close & distant family members, and they have no kids. Almost everyone they hang out with, they're doing so along with the other's family members around and such, and thus, feel a piece missing -- "alone" in that sense.
 basilisk123
Joined: 12/17/2011
Msg: 245
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Are men on here really interested in marriage
Posted: 8/29/2016 8:41:12 PM
Lonliness is very familiar to me. I am almost always lonely. Even when I do scrape up enough money to go out, I can only go by myself. My work friends are too young, my older friends have drifted away, and all I can do is sit around and pretend it doesn't hurt.
Now I am 34 and I have no clue what it is even like to even have a romantic relationship. I often try to imagine what it would be like to come home to someone who actually wants to see you. It is very painful to think that I cannot ever know what it is like. I don't want to be alone, but it seems life has other plans. If I have to be always alone, I would rather life hurry up and put an end to me. It is a much less cruel death than to die of a lonely heart.
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