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 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 52
When your man checks out other girlsPage 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Oh and by the way, for the record, I agree with the other GoodeWitch, it is all about respect, and unless I am teasing or I bring it up, my beloved is respectful enough NOT to do it. There's a big difference in being with someone like my bf who I get a kick out of teasing, and some big oaf acting like he's starving for it every time a mini-skirt walks by.

It's all about your relationship and respect. If you looking too doesn't make him recognize what he is doing and buck up, then a good smack in the johnson will!
Beth
 robin cognito
Joined: 10/22/2005
Msg: 53
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/28/2009 8:53:31 PM
Need to get over the insecurities....it is called nature
 sweet_n_heart
Joined: 1/31/2007
Msg: 55
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/28/2009 9:08:39 PM
As long as he's just looking and doesn't act on, then have nothing to worry about.. we're only human. We still will check out the opposite sex.
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 57
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/28/2009 9:33:55 PM
I have to disagree with many of the posters on this particular subject.

It is not OK to ogle members of the opposite sex when in the presence of your significant other. You can try to justify it as nature all you want, but the fact of the matter is that it is nothing short of rude and utterly disrespectful, it is contemptible.

I’m not suggesting that we as humans do not notice attractive members of the opposite sex when out and about – we do. But, those of us who have respect for our significant others don’t cross that line from a simple notice into a full-blown stare down. And, certainly not while in the company of our significant others. So, yes I will admit that, for example, while I am at the gym and an attractive woman walks by… sure I do notice with a quick glance then carry on with my workout; not giving her a second thought. And, I am pretty confident my significant other (when I have one that is) does the same thing when she is out and about, or whatever the case. The difference is I don’t engage myself in a full-blown lustful stare down. I don’t need too. I am typically happy with what I have ‘at home.’

I can’t believe some folks think it’s perfectly nature and even ok for a man / woman to literally ‘check out’ other men / women in their presence. If they are doing that [checking out other people] then you’ve got a problem. Either they’re not content with your physical attractiveness, or they hold zero regard for your feelings. Not a good situation to be in.
 jennyb2009
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 58
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/28/2009 9:34:47 PM
Excuse me but the girl does not have to be over weigtht to be insecure, omg what a stereo type. All of the bbw's including my self like living large, and there are plenty of men even some that won't admit it,that are attracted to us.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 60
I have...
Posted: 6/28/2009 9:40:57 PM
I check out other men, so I don't see a problem with this as long as it's not something so over the top a whole room picks up on.
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 61
I have...
Posted: 6/28/2009 9:54:48 PM
WinP:

I'm talking about full-blown stare downs (as what they OP is implying her SO does) as opposed to quick glances. If my date scans the room, or glances at some dude walking by - whatever - that's nothing to get upset about. If it turns into an ogling of the guy, yeah, that would make my very uncomfortable.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 64
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/28/2009 10:13:10 PM
cinsav:

As I said, if it's way over the top, or actually distracts him to the point where it's uncomfortable or he makes a scene - we got a problem. I'll say something about it after I see it more than once, and tell him I feel it's offensive and from there it's up to him to stop or continue and deal with the repercussions.

I'm not one to tell someone twice I don't like something. I will let them know something bothers me and why the first time, but that's it for me. From there they make the choice to avoid it or deal with my reactions.

And yeah, I may do it too, drool over some hot dude...if he notices and says anything I can welcome him to my world.
 VivaciousVixen2010
Joined: 7/12/2008
Msg: 66
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/30/2009 1:50:45 AM
@h, Just poke his eyes out
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 67
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/30/2009 4:47:38 AM
If she is underweight or of average weight she could be feeling insecure because he looks at women in a manner different than he looks at her. Why does being overweight equate with her feeling insecure? My weight has nothing to do with the fact that if my man looked at another woman a certain way he would probably be kicked to the curb. It has to do with respect, manners, and maturity on his part IMHO.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 69
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History
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/30/2009 5:26:05 AM

It's not glancing that he is doing it is staring.
... He has been doing this in a more obvious way lately.

If it's staring and not just glancing, then you must be staring at him in order to determine this. If it's OK for you to stare, then why not him?

Perhaps his behavior is his way of asserting some small level of symbolic independence against your too-close supervision.
 stihlgrl
Joined: 4/10/2009
Msg: 70
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/30/2009 5:31:47 AM
come on ladies.... We all know that blatantly checking out other women by your date is totally disrespectful to us. We need to either appreciate the fact he IS out with you and not the one he is oogling at. He did choose you first.
If you dont like it you do have options.
you can always embarass him by either handing him a napkin to wipe his drool
you can say... " should i go over there and break the ice for you?"
you can say yeah she is gorgeous maybe shes my type?
you can always mention the fact that the green grass on the other side of the fence may be astro turf.

but whatever you do you need to realize hes a man and that's just in their nature.non shalontly blowing it off , recognizing it, or discrete embarrassment that you noticed the unacceptable behavior without making a scene usually quells it.

It has been my experience that some men do this behavior intentionally just to verify their date/you, are paying attention to them. they want you to catch them oogling another woman. Its all about the catch and reeling a 50# fish in on 8lb test line.
 FresnoChevrolady
Joined: 6/20/2009
Msg: 72
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 6/30/2009 9:05:44 AM
Both men and women look at people. If your man is STARING or making comments about other women, then tell him that it bothers you ! Or better yet, when he does it, and you want to make a point, make it obvious and look at guys !!! Make it REALLY obvious, turn your head as the guy walks by, say things, and then tell your man how it makes you feel when he does it to you. Ask him how he felt . Talk about it !! Men just "look" more obviously then women do. It's the caveman thing. By the way, if it REALLY bothers you, get up and leave the restaurant or wherever you are. Maybe then he'll get the point. You don't have to take it. Bad manners is bad manners.
 winteragain
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 80
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 8/19/2009 2:52:00 PM
marriage is to stay together through sickness and health, for better or for worse, looking at chicks and not looking at chicks, ya know. you took the oath and swore by it, now you need to deal with whatever comes between you together. you better love his woman staring ways or divorce him
 eastendwoman
Joined: 7/15/2006
Msg: 81
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 8/19/2009 6:40:38 PM
The fact that it bothers you is perfectly normal. Tell him that he's disrespecting you. Tell him to stop. Especially right in front of you. All of us check out the opposite sex, however, if you're married or in a committed relationship, you should show the other person some respect and not do it in right in front of them. He's being particularly rude. Tell him. That will show him that you respect yourself to expect him to respect you.
 2fuzy
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 82
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 8/19/2009 7:30:04 PM
You married a man and then you ask him to quit being one is a petty jealous waste of time and you will probably not like it if get what you want

look at guys ignore it and go on with life or raise hell about it until your toting his balls around in your purse then you can wonder what happened to the man you married
 2fuzy
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 83
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 10/2/2010 11:00:20 AM

OP, some men actually know how to enjoy another woman's beauty without making it obvious or making your uncomfortable in the process.

true but also true is some gals just make to much of nothing
just mama nature on both accounts
 BlueEyes4U2C2
Joined: 7/27/2010
Msg: 84
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 10/2/2010 11:59:53 AM
Your husband needs to 'make a covenant' with his Eyes.
This is scriptural - look it up.
I would sit down & have a very serious talk with your husband
about this. Scripture says one can commit adultery with their 'Eyes'.
He should NOT be doing this. Period. This problem will eventually
lead to a bigger problem. You need to check this in the bud. Right Now.
It makes the wife insecure, mad, angry & untrusting.
 sexyisback!
Joined: 9/14/2010
Msg: 85
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 10/2/2010 1:23:28 PM
some women are a little paranoid on this; an ex, when we'd go out to a restaurant, would insist that I was "checking out" the waitress and "flirting with her" by looking at her while ordering.

so while we stayed together for a little while, I learned to turn my head the other way, facing away from any female wait staff, if we went out to eat. A little awkward , yes but worked for relationship harmony

quite silly IMO, though. I think some of the wait staff were quite curious or maybe even insulted a bit?
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 86
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 10/2/2010 1:36:51 PM

Jealousy is a petty, destructive emotion. Having a relationship with a jealous person is tough. The jealous person acts untrusting or unworthy. Jealousy can make a person unattractive, even repulsive.

I think that men and women are programmed to look at the opposite sex, even when they are satisfied with the partner. It is a biological imperative that women and men are constantly evaluating other potential partners, but it's not an indication of unfaithfulness. You can't avoid it - it is like experiencing hunger or anger. Jealousy is a symptom of another problem or insecurity.

Well said, CC.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 87
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 10/2/2010 1:48:50 PM

well, i say .....what is good for the goose is good for the gander, ,


Yes, it IS! I remember this being an issue with my wife during our first year of marriage... I was newly married and hadn't yet developed more subtle ways of checking them out! LOl Actually i was 18 so I really couldn't help it...

Anyway, I told her it was natural to look and that she does it too!

For about two weeks she make a POINT of commenting about other guys! "Ooh, he has nice abs!" ME: "Yup he does!" Her: "That shirt looks good on him!" ME Yup, it does!" etc..
Then she dropped the whole thing.

What I noticed is the more confident a woman is the less this will bother her! Notice I DIDN'T say the HOTTER she is... that makes no difference! I had a couple of GF's who would make SURE I saw a hot girl! They'd be like, "Damn! That girl is stacked! did you see that?" Me; Uh what? oh, yeah, she is." HER: I'd be worried about you if you DIDN'T notice THAT!

The thing was, my GF's confidence was so hot.... I often DIDN'T notice until she said something about another girl...
 2fuzy
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 88
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 10/2/2010 2:00:30 PM

so while we stayed together for a little while, I learned to turn my head the other way, facing away from any female wait staff, if we went out to eat. A little awkward , yes but worked for relationship harmony

No it doesn't work at all as it takes both being harmonious for there to be harmony
and what gal wants a guy that will let her carry his balls anyway
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 89
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 10/2/2010 2:56:38 PM

some men actually know how to enjoy another woman's beauty without making it obvious or making your uncomfortable in the process.

true but also true is some gals just make to much of nothing
just mama nature on both accounts

Mama nature
 Beyond the Cleavage
Joined: 6/5/2010
Msg: 90
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 10/2/2010 3:10:02 PM
My eyes turn automatically to beauty, whether that be human or otherwise.
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