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 winteragain
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 80
When your man checks out other girlsPage 3 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
marriage is to stay together through sickness and health, for better or for worse, looking at chicks and not looking at chicks, ya know. you took the oath and swore by it, now you need to deal with whatever comes between you together. you better love his woman staring ways or divorce him
 eastendwoman
Joined: 7/15/2006
Msg: 81
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 8/19/2009 6:40:38 PM
The fact that it bothers you is perfectly normal. Tell him that he's disrespecting you. Tell him to stop. Especially right in front of you. All of us check out the opposite sex, however, if you're married or in a committed relationship, you should show the other person some respect and not do it in right in front of them. He's being particularly rude. Tell him. That will show him that you respect yourself to expect him to respect you.
 2fuzy
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 82
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 8/19/2009 7:30:04 PM
You married a man and then you ask him to quit being one is a petty jealous waste of time and you will probably not like it if get what you want

look at guys ignore it and go on with life or raise hell about it until your toting his balls around in your purse then you can wonder what happened to the man you married
 2fuzy
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 83
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 10/2/2010 11:00:20 AM

OP, some men actually know how to enjoy another woman's beauty without making it obvious or making your uncomfortable in the process.

true but also true is some gals just make to much of nothing
just mama nature on both accounts
 BlueEyes4U2C2
Joined: 7/27/2010
Msg: 84
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 10/2/2010 11:59:53 AM
Your husband needs to 'make a covenant' with his Eyes.
This is scriptural - look it up.
I would sit down & have a very serious talk with your husband
about this. Scripture says one can commit adultery with their 'Eyes'.
He should NOT be doing this. Period. This problem will eventually
lead to a bigger problem. You need to check this in the bud. Right Now.
It makes the wife insecure, mad, angry & untrusting.
 sexyisback!
Joined: 9/14/2010
Msg: 85
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 10/2/2010 1:23:28 PM
some women are a little paranoid on this; an ex, when we'd go out to a restaurant, would insist that I was "checking out" the waitress and "flirting with her" by looking at her while ordering.

so while we stayed together for a little while, I learned to turn my head the other way, facing away from any female wait staff, if we went out to eat. A little awkward , yes but worked for relationship harmony

quite silly IMO, though. I think some of the wait staff were quite curious or maybe even insulted a bit?
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 86
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 10/2/2010 1:36:51 PM

Jealousy is a petty, destructive emotion. Having a relationship with a jealous person is tough. The jealous person acts untrusting or unworthy. Jealousy can make a person unattractive, even repulsive.

I think that men and women are programmed to look at the opposite sex, even when they are satisfied with the partner. It is a biological imperative that women and men are constantly evaluating other potential partners, but it's not an indication of unfaithfulness. You can't avoid it - it is like experiencing hunger or anger. Jealousy is a symptom of another problem or insecurity.

Well said, CC.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 87
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 10/2/2010 1:48:50 PM

well, i say .....what is good for the goose is good for the gander, ,


Yes, it IS! I remember this being an issue with my wife during our first year of marriage... I was newly married and hadn't yet developed more subtle ways of checking them out! LOl Actually i was 18 so I really couldn't help it...

Anyway, I told her it was natural to look and that she does it too!

For about two weeks she make a POINT of commenting about other guys! "Ooh, he has nice abs!" ME: "Yup he does!" Her: "That shirt looks good on him!" ME Yup, it does!" etc..
Then she dropped the whole thing.

What I noticed is the more confident a woman is the less this will bother her! Notice I DIDN'T say the HOTTER she is... that makes no difference! I had a couple of GF's who would make SURE I saw a hot girl! They'd be like, "Damn! That girl is stacked! did you see that?" Me; Uh what? oh, yeah, she is." HER: I'd be worried about you if you DIDN'T notice THAT!

The thing was, my GF's confidence was so hot.... I often DIDN'T notice until she said something about another girl...
 2fuzy
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 88
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 10/2/2010 2:00:30 PM

so while we stayed together for a little while, I learned to turn my head the other way, facing away from any female wait staff, if we went out to eat. A little awkward , yes but worked for relationship harmony

No it doesn't work at all as it takes both being harmonious for there to be harmony
and what gal wants a guy that will let her carry his balls anyway
 DrummingNut
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 89
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 10/2/2010 2:56:38 PM

some men actually know how to enjoy another woman's beauty without making it obvious or making your uncomfortable in the process.

true but also true is some gals just make to much of nothing
just mama nature on both accounts

Mama nature
 Beyond the Cleavage
Joined: 6/5/2010
Msg: 90
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 10/2/2010 3:10:02 PM
My eyes turn automatically to beauty, whether that be human or otherwise.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 91
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 10/2/2010 10:35:45 PM
Checing out/noticing and staring are two different Things...
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 92
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 10/3/2010 9:29:30 AM
If someone you are in a relationship is openly checking out members of the opposite sex in front of you and being obvious about it then this is extremely disrespectful. You can live your life anyway you wish but if this were me I would not see this person again.I am to old to play these little teenage games of making the girlfriend/boyfriend jealous.
 tinainhouston39
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 93
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 10/3/2010 9:44:13 AM
Hahahahha your funny OP....Here's a novel idea...ask yourself how he feels about you being on a dating site on the interwebs for all his friends, neighbors, colleges, family, church, and total strangers to see?? How might that make him feel do you think??
Not sure if you’re a religious women but the bible warns about a wife who burns down her own house...ears burning??
People have the relationship they want. What you invest is what your return will be.... contempt breeds contempt, suspicion begets suspicion. If you would use your energies to build him up then he would respond. Stop being a victim and be a participant for crying out loud. Participate in the marriage you signed up for instead of cruising the interwebs looking for something else and filling your heart with contention when you’re doing the same thing as he is....OK so your less obvious...perhaps you shut the door while you flip through profiles on POF....LOL Anyhoo, my bad...clearly you have more manners then he does...you do it behind his back..nice!
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 94
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 10/3/2010 10:20:07 AM
Yes, because once I get into a relationship, my eyes will remain "fixed," and I won't be looking at other men.
 venndiagram
Joined: 10/29/2009
Msg: 95
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 10/3/2010 10:24:38 AM
Tina how do you know what she does? For all you know her husband is here too and they enjoy reading the forums together.

Let's not be so judgemental here- none of us knows how others live their lives.

As for me, if my guy checks out other girls, I'd think he was a healthy male, as long as he is somewhat discreet in it.
 Redlance71
Joined: 2/2/2009
Msg: 96
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When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 10/3/2010 10:50:01 AM
While it's a normal activity for both sexes, his obviousness is insensitive to your feelings. Gonna guess he is doing it quite on purpose, he may be less obvious when alone even. It's prickish to do, and not sure why he does it, perhaps it's part of the control-freak trait. I personally am never obvious even when not in mixed company, it's a question of style and your hubby does not have any! I don't know if there is a way to not let it bother you, it's a natural reaction. You may try talking him about it. If he's looking at women in public I'd venture to guess he has a few gigs of porn in his document folder listed under taxes 2002!
 tinainhouston39
Joined: 8/9/2009
Msg: 97
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 10/3/2010 10:56:01 AM
[Tina how do you know what she does? For all you know her husband is here too and they enjoy reading the forums together.]

Are you serious?? The answer is simple venndiagram, its human nature. If they were enjoying POF together then why would she have jealousy/honor issues? No I don't know how others live their lives, that notwithstanding...if you post then your open for comments and judgment. I just think it's ironic to ask that which clearly your not giving. How can she expect him to honor her when she isn't honoring him thusly so?? I may seem harsh...but, I didn't post my reply for brownie points, and I really don't care how others perceive me. I have valid points, and I think the idea of an open forum is to express different points of view, without worrying about offending others sensibilities. However, I am not a total social cretin; therefore if I have offended yours then please I beseech your forgiveness.
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 98
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 10/3/2010 11:09:16 AM
its a mere matter of respect honestly. its rude and crude.

when i'm with a girl, whether we just met or we've been together for years- I refrain from checking out chicks in front of her. have I done it a time or two- sure...

just because someone is in a relationship with someone- the natural laws of attraction/beauty are not suspended...not for men nor for women.

just show some respect for yourself and your gf/bf by not doing it so abruptly in front of them.
 matchlight
Joined: 1/31/2009
Msg: 99
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When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 10/3/2010 3:13:11 PM
^^^^^I agree. When you're with a lady you're involved with--or would like to be--*she* should be the object of your attentions. Otherwise, why bother to get together with her? A glance at anyone who passes by is normal, but if it's a pretty woman, anything more than that is rude and inconsiderate. The fact some women get used to it, even to the point where it may become a joke, doesn't change things. If you're doing something you know she'd rather you didn't, the fact she's able to get used to it doesn't make it any more considerate.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 100
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 10/3/2010 4:44:26 PM

But to feel threatened / heated / angry when he looks at women is an insecurity issue.

I mean cmon.. if you go to a bank teller or grocery store and the person attending to you is a female.. its going to look a little wierd not to make eye contact because your gf / wife might "take it the wrong way".



There is a huge world of difference between being cordial and sociable and snapping you head around so fast to look at a pretty woman going by that you get whiplash.Gawking at an attractive person with you mouth hanging open is not the same as simply smiling briefly in a friendly way at a stranger.Anyone with any sense can tell the difference between their partner being friendly and being lecherous and disrespectful.
 2fuzy
Joined: 3/12/2006
Msg: 101
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 10/3/2010 5:01:54 PM

Geez, 2fuzy ... You waited a whole year to bump this thread? Are you trying to make a point or did mama nature make you do it?


no the devil
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 102
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 10/3/2010 5:20:36 PM


Not all women know the difference though.

I've seen it for myself to know.....................................


yep- i had an ex, anytime a girl would look at me or say hello to me- she was ready to fight...

it was hot and sexy.

just saying.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 103
When your man checks out other girls
Posted: 10/4/2010 7:24:18 AM

Not all women know the difference though



Most do.


Perhaps if you started dating reasonable woman as opposed to the idiot drama queens who you so obviously date now then you would no longer have this problem.Blame your personal choices on your self rather then projecting them onto women in general.



Drama seekers.They always claim to hate it yet their actions tell a different story.
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