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 peppermint petunias
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 408
When should the woman offer to pay?Page 11 of 35    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35)

I'm shocked and offended when he wants to wear blue jeans.

Start discussing what you will wear to what event..

I always say I am wearing jeans, going casual or if it is a place I want to go that you are expected to spiff up a bit..I SAY so.

There are nice ways of suggesting apparel.
Especially if it means that much to you.

"This place is nice Giuseppe, lets dress up a bit".." I want an excuse to wear a skirt, dress whatever.
If he shows up in a git r dun cap, sandals and dirty feet..Leave if it offends you so much.

As for women paying..like I said.Stop trying to impress them and taking them places you can't afford.
Pout when she doesn't show enough appreciation in YOUR opinion..Complain about the cost.

If she suggests something you can't afford, maybe you aren't on the same page as to what having a fun date is. Goes to compatibility IMO.

More men list fine dining and wine tasting as a first date than you realize.

I can eat at home. I rather do a hundred other things than eat out.


I find some men (not always )like to "take control" of the date and over do it.
I appreciate one who reads my interests and comes up with some variation of that.



When should the woman offer to pay?

When they ask you to take them somewhere expensive and know your finances would be damaged.

When they can afford it.
When they invite you.

After I get know you..Take me to your house and grill me a fat one, I'll bring the salad fixings.
We'll play Frisbee in the back yard with the dogs.

Hell it's spring lets wash our cars together on a Sunday and hose each other down..its getting hot out there.
I have quarters..


"I know one woman that is the bread winner in her family"

Only ONE???????????????????

Pulease....................................
 xlr8ingmargo
Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 410
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 4/8/2010 12:48:52 PM
Ms. Peppermint~ I ask in advance, and sometimes their definition of nice is faded jeans and a shirt thats wrinkled. They wouldn't dare wear that to work but they'd wear it to a fine restaurant? Lazy and disrespectful is what I find it when I know they have designer suits out the wazoo. Wear a pair of slacks and a nice shirt for crying out loud. It's not that hard is all I am saying sweetness.
 lateā„¢
Joined: 2/1/2010
Msg: 411
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 4/8/2010 1:19:25 PM

When should the woman offer to pay?

When she feels like it, ...d'uh.


Let me cast a dissenting vote. Women like you are few and far between. I haven't kept track, but I think I've been asked maybe three times in my life.

Actually, I don't think I've ever been "out" with a woman where I was the one who asked. I've just never been one of those guys to try to wine & dine, ...maybe that works for some, I don't know, it seems to be a point of contention rather than a proven strategy.

Frankly, I've always thought it too similar to trying to buy someone's "favour", but then again, I've never been accused of being conventional. I have been asked out though, and I usually try to steer it towards something less money oriented, not necessarily to be frugal, just because I'd often rather do something less ....consumerist.

I've also never done the, "What's your sign, can I buy you a drink?" ploy, ...sure, maybe it works for some, but it just ain't my style. I have no "fear of rejection", I've just always had the experience of "being approached" first, ...before the thought of approaching even enters my mind. Coincidentally, this has made for a good "batting average" (for lack of a better analogy) over the years, this said, I've never been a serial dater or a "player".
 arun_
Joined: 6/28/2007
Msg: 413
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History
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 4/8/2010 7:05:34 PM
The first time she offers, I'll say no. If she pushes the issue, then I'll say yes.

Enough people offer expecting the no, if they seriously want to pay, they'll offer again.

Sincerity, not just a word.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 414
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 4/9/2010 6:43:27 AM

LOL wow my posts hella stirred up a reaction LMAo. i was just bored and procrastinating on my essay, who know ha

I agree. You got quite a bit of attention from that rant for a short time. Glad it worked out for you. We all like to be noticed once in awhile. Some don't even care what kind of attention it is so long as they get it.
 Datalley
Joined: 9/18/2014
Msg: 415
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/26/2015 12:23:41 PM
I am not a cheap guy and I make more than enough money to pay but I think it is a matter of offering. I wanted to know others opinions on this. I think it shows the character of the person you are dating if they don't at least offer. It is 2015 and it really should not be an issue. Afterall, in the long run you are supposed to be in it together. If I go out on a few dates and the woman never offers to even pay a tip I conclude that she may not be worth another date. This comes off as being selfish and entitled. Everyone is different and some guys have an ego where they won't allow a woman to pay as they think that this is the man's job. That's cool and it all depends on what two people are ok with and agree on. However, if I know the woman is gainfully employed with a great job/career and never offers than I will draw a conclusion.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 416
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/26/2015 12:37:54 PM

Everyone is different and some guys have an ego where they won't allow a woman to pay as they think that this is the man's job.


Doesn't have a thing to do with ego. It's a choice you make by taking the initiative to ask a woman out, the social structure you adhere to as an individual.

Most, if not all adult women will offer to participate in the monetary portion of a date at some point.

If your sole determing factor in deciding who is right for you is based on a time frame of when financial contribution is expected, you don't need to be dating in the first place. imho :/
 overunity
Joined: 8/16/2014
Msg: 417
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History
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/26/2015 12:50:20 PM
The only time a date needs money around me is if she's going to buy me a present behind my back, lol.
 Maleman999
Joined: 2/14/2010
Msg: 418
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/26/2015 2:43:58 PM
I prefer the method of flipping a coin. Heads, I pay. Tails, she pays.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 419
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/26/2015 2:59:52 PM

I think it shows the character of the person you are dating if they don't at least offer.


It also shows the character of the one expecting an offer, especially if that person initiates the date invitation.


It is 2015 and it really should not be an issue.


Then why are you making it an issue?

Funny, the OP of this thread posted:


This is 2009


Yada, yada, yada.
 antirepublican
Joined: 12/31/2014
Msg: 420
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/26/2015 3:29:38 PM
When should the woman offer to pay? NEVER. Interacting with another person should never cost anybody any money.
 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 421
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/26/2015 3:43:46 PM

I am not a cheap guy and I make more than enough money to pay but I think it is a matter of offering.


Why would I offer if I was invited? By that logic, if I invite somebody to my home for dinner, should I expect them to offer to pay for their share?
 CarefreeBeauty
Joined: 5/30/2014
Msg: 422
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/26/2015 3:48:55 PM

if I invite somebody to my home for dinner, should I expect them to offer to pay for their share?


Just kidding, but, if I invite a guy over for 'steaks on the grill' and we have some milk to wash it down, does he have to 'buy the cow'? haha
 123nightmoves
Joined: 6/2/2015
Msg: 423
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/26/2015 3:54:06 PM
If you invited him out to dinner at a restaurant, would you pay? Would you ask a man out?

I think the vast majority of us would never ask someone to pay for dinner in our home and I don't know why it was even mentioned.

The OP's question was asking "when would you offer to pay", at date 10 or date 15? Never? I think he had a valid question. Seems many on here follow the 3 date rule, or 6 date rule so if you can have sex with him, why can't you buy him dinner once in awhile?
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 424
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/26/2015 4:27:05 PM

CarefreeBeauty:
Just kidding, but, if I invite a guy over for 'steaks on the grill' and we have some milk to wash it down, does he have to 'buy the cow'? haha


If You invited Me over for 'Steaks on the Grill', then I would ask, what Brand of Beer you liked or what type Wine do you like?

If I invited a Lady, to see a good Local Band, playing at this little Dive in Town & I bought the 1st Two rounds of Drinks, it would be nice if she said the next round is on Her......
 clooneystutor
Joined: 3/8/2015
Msg: 425
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/26/2015 5:41:07 PM
MOST mature women make an offer to help pay, which I graciously turn down.

They also won't prolong your misery and accept 3-4 dates if they're not feeling the spark.

YMMV
 dragonbytes
Joined: 12/25/2014
Msg: 426
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/26/2015 6:06:59 PM
I have had a few offers to pay me after sex, but my lovin ain't for sale.
 newoldgirl
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 427
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/26/2015 8:11:44 PM
I always offer to pay, but most men won't hear of it. I don't think it's important enough to argue about, so I let them pay if they want to. After dating for a while, most men are okay with having me pay for some dates, IME.

As far as going to someone's home for dinner, I would not offer to pay, but I was raised to bring a gift ( usually wine or flowers) to the home of anyone who is kind enough to invite me to their home for a meal.
 cooldog65
Joined: 6/27/2011
Msg: 428
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History
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/27/2015 8:21:45 AM
Another "Who pays?" thread? NOOOOO!!!!!
 CharminC
Joined: 2/19/2011
Msg: 429
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/27/2015 11:38:57 AM
I always offer
and it's always declined


lucky me :P
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 430
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/27/2015 7:53:52 PM

Why would I offer if I was invited? By that logic, if I invite somebody to my home for dinner, should I expect them to offer to pay for their share?


Apples to oranges comparison. Regardless of who asked, both people on the first few dates are mutually interested in getting to know each other and ( at least in my experience ) both people often have input on the details of the date(s). ( Unlike inviting someone to your house, there is no "host" ) . According to this woman , if a man asks the same woman out on multiple dates, the she should never pay. I'm not saying it must be 50-50. But she should be willing to contribute something. Even if it was the tip. Or she bought me a drink / dessert after I had paid for something more expensive.

BTW when a person does invite me to their house, I always offer to bring something. Sometimes what I bring is more expensive than what they provided.
 newoldgirl
Joined: 4/16/2015
Msg: 431
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/27/2015 9:10:54 PM

Even if it was the tip. Or she bought me a drink / dessert after I had paid for something more expensive.


Maybe I am the only one but I see this as more awkward, rather than less. If a man is paying for dinner, it seems sort of rude for me to look at the bill, but unless I look at the bill, I don't know how much tip to leave ( I could ballpark it, I suppose). I don't like the idea of paying for dessert or something else, but that is because I don't like to split/haggle over a cheque, ever! It makes me uncomfortable. My bestie and I go out for dinner about once a week, and breakfast on Sundays. We alternate turns, and it works itself out over time. Or, it doesn't. I don't care very much one way or the other.

If a man doesn't want to accept my offer to pay on a date, then fine. I will take my turn later. I am not going to argue with someone about it on the first few dates. There is PLENTY of time for him to discover I am one of them feminist ****es at a later date :)
 tangofish
Joined: 6/16/2015
Msg: 432
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History
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/27/2015 9:15:21 PM
I think whoever gets the most orgasms during sex has to pay, prior to that, the guy pays exclusively.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 433
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/27/2015 9:31:58 PM

Maybe I am the only one but I see this as more awkward, rather than less.


That's never been a problem for me. She can add the tip after I had paid for the bill. As for dessert / drink, that is often at a second location after I had paid for something at the first location.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 434
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History
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/28/2015 12:09:15 AM
I am with you newoldgirl,'

On a first meet I would offer to pay my share but then I wouldn't be arranging a meal, just a drink. If we hit it off and he invites me to dinner somewhere, then I expect him to pay and would not expect a ritzy dinner at a top restaurant at that stage.
If we are seeing each other regularly then I would reciprocate in some manner. Dinner at my home, buying the movie tickets, whatever.. I also never go empty handed to anyone's house when invited for a meal. Flowers, a bottle of wine or dessert.
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