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 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 460
When should the woman offer to pay?Page 13 of 35    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35)
Joe, I agree with you.

I never see these types of issues in real life. Invariably it's a hot topic in here, perpetuated by the same guys who complain that they get no responses from women to their messages, women are shallow, can't find a woman, nice guys finish last, short guys are picked on.

Then I see the rants about going dutch, she should pay half etc. and I'm thinking wth? You're bytching about a non issue, what difference does it make whether she pays half or not, you're not going out in the first place. Just bytching to bytch.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 461
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/28/2015 3:40:50 PM

Arrrgggg! I hate that shit with a passion. Splitting cheques is so awkward and weird. When I go for lunch with colleagues, we ask for separate cheques. When I go out with friends, we just take turns. Since we go out regularly, it probably evens itself out over time.


To each their own. I know people that find it awkward and tacky to ask for separate checks.


it is VERY EASY TO SOLVE. Before you meet the woman , tell her it is your policy to go dutch on dates. If she doesn't agree you don't need to date her. "Problem" solved.


Fair enough. That can also apply to women that expect a man to pay because of traditional gender roles.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/13/2015
Msg: 462
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/28/2015 3:56:56 PM

My experience, if a man is into a woman, he asks her out to where he can afford to take her & wouldn't dream of offending her by putting any onus on her, other than to show up.


That's not my experience. I've had more success with women who approach me first. The women I go after don't seem to be interested in me.
 adventurejoe70
Joined: 3/1/2013
Msg: 463
view profile
History
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/28/2015 3:57:21 PM

Then I see the rants about going dutch, she should pay half etc. and I'm thinking wth? You're bytching about a non issue, what difference does it make whether she pays half or not, you're not going out in the first place. Just bytching to bytch.


Ha- yeah! :)..I guess they want to develop a game plan for when it finally happens! Or worst attempt to teach US how to handle women on 1st meets by making them pay half! No thanks, I think we handled them well enough to lead/guide the meeting so there was little room for unfortunate surprises in the evening.
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 464
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/28/2015 4:15:43 PM
I took a man out to the movies last night.
He then suggested dinner.
Over dinner at his suggestion we worked out the finances where we split the bill.

In fact he said he had a discount voucher for the movie.
We saw "Inside Out" at his suggestion. I cried.



Cost of the movie...
2 x adult tickets and 2x 3D Glasses = $54 Australian Dollars $41US Dollars

I have heard that in the USA going to the movies is much more affordable.
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 465
view profile
History
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/28/2015 4:48:24 PM
Peas

I am with you but I would not suggest a meal at his house on a first date either. I had a guy suggest that I cook for him on the first date but he did offer to bring the wine. lol!!! Did he expect to go upstairs for "desert" later? Maybe. If you start off that way then you can bet there would be precious little wooing or romancing in the future and he would be wanting to eat in all the time.
 123nightmoves
Joined: 6/2/2015
Msg: 466
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/28/2015 4:50:07 PM
A few are not getting what the OP said. He isn't talking about a first meet or a first date or even a 4th date. He's talking about the 15th date. Chances are, you've done drinks, you've done dinners, you've done dinner and a movie, you've probably had sex a dozen times, met her friends, met her cat (or dog). Does he keep paying every time you got on a date? The OP is asking "how come I'm still paying for every date?"
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 467
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/28/2015 4:58:41 PM
But they have to trivialize, don't you get that? Men talk about paying for dinners and women respond with it's only a $2 coffee.

Tell you what, the next time we take them out for dinner, pay for the coffee and let them get the rest. Everybody's happy, right?

vvvvvvvvvvvvvv

Sealady,

Let's see...... the last woman I took out for dinner was my oldest sister. I payed, but of course she was letting me stay there and drove me to a doctor's appointment and was also my advocate. I bought her husband dinner too.

You, however, probably meant romantically. That would have been my ex-wife (before the ex part), and yes I paid. I paid for dinners, I paid the mortgage, I paid the car payments, I paid the utilities, I paid the doctor bills, I paid, I paid, I paid.......

She paid for her horse and around $400 per month for groceries.

As for the $2 coffee, that was the price quoted by many women in many "who pays" threads. I don't drink coffee - it triggers my IBS.
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 468
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/28/2015 5:00:43 PM
JoeBnD.... when was the last time you took a woman out to dinner?
Did you pay?
Did she pay?
Did you go 50:50?
Or did you only pay for the $2 coffee.

p.s. $2 is a very cheap coffee.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 469
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/28/2015 5:02:04 PM
^^^^^
@123
I can honestly say I've never met a woman like that, ever. If that is in fact his situation he needs to find out the reason why. After 15 dates and sex, I would think you should be able to ask if there's a money issue or an expectation issue. My question to him is why do you continue if it's a problem, he must be getting something out if it he's looking for?ymmv

@Joe

Joe, about the only thing you and I could agree on is whether it's better to go for a back right pin with a high fade or a low draw.....having said that

Doesn't matter whether it's a 60 dollar
meal or a 2 dollar cup of coffee, if it's going to give you ulcer's or insults your manhood worrying about whether or not she's going to offer to pay half or does pay half, just don't fvking ask her out. Save's both of you a bunch of disappointment.
 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 470
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/28/2015 5:03:49 PM


it is VERY EASY TO SOLVE. Before you meet the woman , tell her it is your policy to go dutch on dates. /quote]

I think I would like to have advanced notice if a man expects to go dutch -- on his invitation -- particularly in the initial dates, too. That way, I could decline the invitation and find somebody else. It'd be a terrible shame that I enter a situation in which I couldn't share and experience mutual appreciation -- but it's most difficult to do so, with somebody who's entirely selfish.



Fair enough. That can also apply to women that expect a man to pay because of traditional gender roles.


It's assumed that if he asks me, then he is covering the date. I never brought it up to attention of the person whom I'm presently dating; it'd have been an affront to his good senses and kindness.

For our first date, he said it was his pleasure to treat me to something nice, and he thoughtfully brought me small tokens of his appreciation from his culture, which he didn't have to do -- I brought him an almond, orange, and rosewater cake I made with my own hands. He said he'd cover everything, including the tip -- that I needn't pay for or worry about anything. He also picked me up from and dropped me off at my home, no expectations other than he had asked to see me, again. (And, that I did.)

A high caliber, respectable man would expect (and do) no less.
 Whatsamatterbaby
Joined: 5/6/2015
Msg: 471
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/28/2015 5:11:21 PM
You guys make my head swim. All I know is I get right choked if I am gracious enough to allow a guy to pay, and then the jackass doesn't even put out :/
 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 472
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/28/2015 5:13:28 PM
And, yes, it's a matter of mutual appreciation. It's ludicrous to expect somebody else to pay for everything and do everything -- without the consideration of sharing and contributing, even appreciating the kindness of the other. What self-respecting human being allows this?

I wonder how these these freebie meal and booze seekers aren't ashamed of themselves, taking advantage of the generosity of somebody -- somebody they don't give a shit about -- and dine with them donning a straight face. Tactless and vulgar.
 Peas_
Joined: 5/2/2015
Msg: 473
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/28/2015 5:26:20 PM

You guys make my head swim. All I know is I get right choked if I am gracious enough to allow a guy to pay, and then the jackass doesn't even put out :/


ha! You so made my day!
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 474
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/28/2015 5:34:16 PM

One reason is for guy's this is financially draining if you (lucky you lol) you actually get to go out on dates and have multiple ones in a month or week.


Seems to me a man should be able to handle his own finances appropriately. If he can’t afford to date, he shouldn’t be dating. Why should his dates be responsible for making sure he has enough money for all his other dates?


However, if I was to have three dates in a week and the meals lets say avg at forty dollars each I am expected to pay 120 dollars just to get to know someone?


How are your dates responsible for YOUR dating life? “Oh here…let’s split the bill because I realize you’ll be having two other dates besides me this week.” RIGHT.

If you can’t afford it, don’t do it.


The OP asked a valid question


This thread is six years old and was resurrected on Msg. 518. if the OP six years ago dated a woman 13 or 14 times and got fed up paying maybe he should have said something instead of continuing. Or quit dating her. I didn’t see where he mentioned she held a gun to his head.


In my opinion, there are far more entitled princesses out there than cheap men. I have never met a man who basically put a price tag on his company or his d1ck.


Because he knows it would be pointless? Oh cripes what woman would pay for a d!ck?

However. The solution is simple: don’t date. Nobody holds a gun to any guy’s head to make him ask women out on dates.
 SunshineGirl__
Joined: 10/7/2014
Msg: 475
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/28/2015 5:40:28 PM

I think I would like to have advanced notice if a man expects to go dutch -- on his invitation -- particularly in the initial dates, too. That way, I could decline the invitation and find somebody else.


Yes…..another simple solution.

All you “dutch” men let your dates know they’re paying beforehand, right? That way you don’t have to wait for her to ante up at the end of the date. You expect her to offer her share, makes more sense to let her know before you even bother meeting. Right?
 rockin-trucker82
Joined: 1/4/2014
Msg: 476
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/28/2015 5:43:16 PM

How are your dates responsible for YOUR dating life? “Oh here…let’s split the bill because I realize you’ll be having two other dates besides me this week.” RIGHT.

If you can’t afford it, don’t do it.


Right... If you can't afford to pay half of the date, don't date. Why should a guy buy you dinner so that later in the week you can bang some other guy? No. If people were actually a little more committed of the idea of getting to know someone before kicking them to the curb because the next guy was better, then it would be different. But to expect a stranger to spend their money on you so that you'll completely forget they exist after that date, what makes you so special that you deserve that?
 123nightmoves
Joined: 6/2/2015
Msg: 477
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/28/2015 5:44:54 PM
"Oh cripes what woman would pay for a d!ck?"

I know, I've never seen it. But a lot of women put a price tag on their vagina.

And the OP DID have a valid question until it turned into "if he can't pay 2 bucks for a coffee he shouldn't be dating" and all the usual bullshyt about who pays.
 CrookCatcher
Joined: 7/14/2014
Msg: 478
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/28/2015 5:54:18 PM

Right... If you can't afford to pay half of the date, don't date. Why should a guy buy you dinner so that later in the week you can bang some other guy?


Exactly the guy I was talking about. Snowball's chance in h€ll that will ever be an issue.
 Eternitygracesme
Joined: 5/18/2015
Msg: 479
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/28/2015 5:56:25 PM

"if he can't pay 2 bucks for a coffee he shouldn't be dating"


Nobody said that.

It just means that people who don't want to date a cheapskate, don't want to date a cheapskate.

What differences does it make to you what they choose? I mean, if you want to go dutch on your dates or spend more than a couple of hours of nonsense over a cold cup of hot $2 coffee, go for it.
 JoeBnD
Joined: 3/23/2012
Msg: 480
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/28/2015 5:57:42 PM


Oh cripes what woman would pay for a d!ck?


I know, I've never seen it. But a lot of women put a price tag on their vagina.


Yeah, that's them taking the high road.
 Kissfromarose77
Joined: 4/13/2015
Msg: 481
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/28/2015 6:21:06 PM

Nobody said that.
It just means that people who don't want to date a cheapskate, don't want to date a cheapskate.
What differences does it make to you what they choose? I mean, if you want to go dutch on your dates or spend more than a couple of hours of nonsense over a cold cup of hot $2 coffee, go for it.


I doubt if any of us guys who prefer to go Dutch or who like coffee dates really care if these women won't date us. There are plenty of women out there who will.
 123nightmoves
Joined: 6/2/2015
Msg: 482
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/28/2015 6:21:14 PM
Again, for the dense ones in the crowd, the Original Poster said in his Origaninal Post (yes, years ago) why can't SHE pay after 13 or 14 dates.

This Oringinal Post is not about cheapskates or going Dutch or 2 buck coffee. It's about when (date 15? date 20? never?) does the woman blow the cobwebs off her wallet and pay?
 sealady111
Joined: 5/31/2015
Msg: 483
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/28/2015 6:23:32 PM

You guys make my head swim. All I know is I get right choked if I am gracious enough to allow a guy to pay, and then the jackass doesn't even put out :/

^^^^ I hate it when that happens.

You would think that after 15 dates or so he should have picked up on a few hints.
Or at least chopped some firewood.
......
Working up a sweat with his shirt off.


Oh no....

Time for another long walk with the dogs.

 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 484
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 6/28/2015 6:25:58 PM
paying for a date, is like paying for everything else. its something of a personal matter. For example, I do my own oil changes in the summer b/c I don't feel like paying double at Ripov Garage. But when there's a foot of snow on the ground, then i'll go to Dewey Cheatum and Howe and stay warm. some people want to go on a date at the "See and be seen" club with bottle service. Others want to go for a free walk in the park. Certainly when we were all young, just having a private place was enough for a date.

I used to do dinner w/ a fellow 2 decades my senior. He paid, not b/c he had designs on me, but he has a paternal nature. It was just in his nature. I have a female acquaintance who I pay for when we go out. Not b/c there's any chance of me getting out of the FZ, not b/c she couldn't afford it (I assume, she's thinking of taking her kid to Dubai for vacation, maybe she's living off her credit card), but I guess I have a paternal instinct, too. and ok, there's a little issue of control--she drives horribly, so let's take my truck, and thus we'll go where I want to eat, as the proverbial icing on the cake.

Live in the spot where you can afford to be. But accept the fact, you'll likely only meet the other people there.
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