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 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 44
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When should the woman offer to pay?Page 2 of 35    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35)
Msg1: No she is not obligated to pay, but her take is she should be a super dolled up and a good company.. No one should accept an invitation and go with empty handed..I mean no reciprocation or a token of gifts..

If I were a man I will not invite someone to impressed and after wards complained because it is hurting my cash flow and expect her to offer, that is weak attitude. I will invite a woman to a meal that I can afford with out hurting my budget...

If I am already well istablished and she is familiar with me, (not really necessary) I know the" line" on how to make her cook for me ,she'll be glad to share expenses, or pay for the whole course dinner for both of us.. That is easy and simple it's called negotiation.....
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 45
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When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 10:15:50 AM
cit47: I understand you, I am on the same level with you..When it comes to social ethics on dating/ as a hostess I was educated on that at an early aged... If I invited you to come to my house/ dinner,of course you are spruched up, with something in your hand a little can of peanuts,chocolate, (what ever you can afford ) flowers,or wine, but the most important is your good company.... It is the same with a man who invited you for date or dinner at his home...
If a man invited me for a dinner date , it is tacky for me to offer to pay,like I am insulting him ,that I am better than him,moneywise or my standard is higher than him or I have no social ethics, no gentleman would want that...I met a POF truck man from another state ,he invited me for breakfast (first meeting ) he asked where * he can have a good American breakfast for he is starving, so I took him to a place where I frequently eat and he enjoyed the food and my company,when the tab comes ,I pinched my thigh hard,to have a gumption to tell him " may I share the cost of our meal ? He looked at me and said "in this country the one who invited you is the one who is pays, so I am paying"...How dare he make me feel like a stupid Filipina who doesn't know any better. The reason I offered, POF men ,thinks that women are Golddiggers, if I am a Golddigger I would dig Gold not a stupid plate of food..


But if man said "Hey Vannili how would it grab you to eat at highfaluting restaurant? Dutch treat ? of course my answer is SURE!! As long as it okay with my cash flow or if it is not I would say no thanks I am on a diet.. or I would say I like hamburger..Or he'd say Hey , Vannili I'll buy all the ingredients of chicken adobo and pansit of course my answer to that "you don't need to buy any thing just bring your hungry stomach, " I am trying to score on his attention and affection too,,for him to land in my net. My personal point of view.
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 47
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 10:34:11 AM
Well my God the dreaded new millenium speech I hate so much. I know the year thank you very much.

And yes if we're out somewhere, and I really want to go I have no problem helping with the bill. I just don't want another guy I end up supporting.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 48
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When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 11:09:17 AM

why would i offer to pay for some ***hole that wants to keep his options open?

Maybe the guy is really a gazillionaire, so it could pay off big for you in the long run, when looked at from an investment (rather than an ***hole) standpoint?

From this perspective it certainly makes more sense for a woman to not only merely just offer to pay but to actually pay, since there are way more wealthy guys than there are wealthy gals out there.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 49
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When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 11:33:23 AM
Msg:79 The rules of the game on dating is who invited who is the one who is paying ,it has nothing to do with the rich person should be the one to pay...

If I invited a man for a dinner date ( without the term of dutch treat) then obviously I am paying for both of us, he doesn't need to shed a penny. I don't give a shyt if he is rich and I am poor... I will pay for both of us, because I invited him ..

If a man invited me without the agreement of dutch treat and trick me to pay , he can't blame me if I spat the word of "" Buster buy your own dinner and pay your own dinner"".....
 StevieCashmere
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 50
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When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 12:02:11 PM
Pity the person who expects someone else to pay in their future relationships (i.e. lack of)
~sc~
 PittsburghVixen
Joined: 6/27/2009
Msg: 51
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 2:28:57 PM
First meeting/first date: I expect to pay my own way. Subsequent dates: I expect to pay my own way unless he offers to treat me, or I offer to treat him. If he insists on paying for everything, I don't fuss about it - I ask if I can leave the tip, and if not, I drop the subject. I can even things out by cooking him a nice dinner sometime.

If he tried to trick me into paying for both of us, or complained later that I didn't pay when I had offered to do so - then he shouldn't let the door hit him in the a-- on the way out.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 53
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When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 2:54:48 PM

Msg:79 The rules of the game on dating is who invited who is the one who is paying ,it has nothing to do with the rich person should be the one to pay...

I haven't a clue where you're getting the idea from what I wrote that I was saying "the rich person should be the one to pay", when if anything I was arguing the exact opposite.

As far as your "the rules of the game on dating..." goes, it wasn't like Moses came down from the mountain with these inscribed on a tablet after having talked to God. Most guys realize said "rules" are just a not-very-clever gambit on the part of women to make men pay for them, since women still make/require men to do the inviting 99.9999% of the time for there to be any date in the first place. Women might as well just say the rule is "the man always pays", cause that's what it amounts to in practice, and guys aren't much fooled by the qualifying clause because they know a racket when they see one.

In other words, men fully realize this is women's rule for men, not "the" rule for everybody. Men obviously had no part in formulating said "rule". So it isn't a "rule", it's a condition women dictate to men: "Ha, he was dumb enough to ask me out. Now he has to pay on top of it. Gotchya!" No wonder lots of women couldn't scare up a decent date if their lives depended on it.

I was attempting to point out how such a condition doesn't necessarily always act in a woman's best interest over the longer term, that it may be wise for women to consider dispensing with such simpleminded "rules".

BTW - it seems you're not familiar with women's alternate self-serving fall-back "rule", namely that "whoever makes the most should be the one who pays"... when you combine that with women's unwillingness to have anything to do with men who don't make at least as much as they do, the result in practice is the exact same as the first "rule".
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 54
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 4:26:37 PM

I'm not a cheap guy, I just care a hell of a lot about courtesy, and quite frankly, I think that showed a lack of it.

It's not a lack of courtesy, but it IS a lack of empathy for you and what you are doing.

I hope this post goes to about 38 pages, I love reading all those rants.
 myluv4you
Joined: 1/30/2007
Msg: 56
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 8:20:46 PM
um....no reason to, less it s you b-day or celebrating like a promotion of yours or somethin to give you props !

if i want to treat a guy ( and i been seein him a while ) i'll invite him over 4 some home cooked food

now : never offerin to do THAT is selfish , esp if the guy treats you well
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 57
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When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 8:36:26 PM
If a guy can not afford a date then he should not initiate it, he has to wait for the woman to invite him on a dinner date and the woman will pay for both of them, so he can save his breath of complaining about money he is spending on her for a measly meal..

ColonelIngus: I'll be glad to buy you a nice dinner with no string attache...
 head.cloud123
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 58
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 8:39:52 PM

When I consider him my guest. It could be on the first date or much later on. Two examples come to mind - someone travelling from a distance to my area. Another is when I invite him over and cook a meal for us, usually finer than can be had at any restaurant.


So what you're saying is you're an equal giver in a relationship? I don't think any man on here is buying that.
 head.cloud123
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 59
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 8:44:32 PM
And what a joke that men being evaluated on their generosity is why they should pay.

Because obviously all men try to avoid dating generous women. What could be worse than a generous women?



<div class='quote'> A man told me this..."Being a well kept woman is costly they have to pay more for dry cleaning, nails, hair appointments, need a couple dozen pairs of shoes, waxing, stockings, makeup...hence men should pay for dinner."

Because women only dress for men right?

No woman ever dresses nicely for herself, for her job or to impress other women?

What about men's suits? If they are expensive than her dresses should she pay?




If you are that man ,here who is not buying the possibility of a give and take in relationship of both couple, nobody give a shyte.


So you replied for the sole purpose of telling me no one cares?
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 60
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When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 8:48:13 PM
So what you're saying is you're an equal giver in a relationship? I don't think any man on here is buying that that.


If you are that man ,here who is not buying the possibility of a give and take in relationship of both couple, nobody give a shyte.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 61
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/25/2009 9:44:52 PM
1KM4U is a golddigging man!!!
 njbris
Joined: 10/17/2009
Msg: 63
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/26/2009 1:27:07 AM

When should the woman offer to pay?


Every single bloody time.

Women want equality, now they have it
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 64
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When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/26/2009 7:12:56 AM
^^^....That would be a good start for them. Of course we can always cover tip...


We women will buy you a nice dinner and you can forget offering the tip , Aww,you don't have to help on the measly tip, we can afford that too.. We'll even order extra meals for you to take home for the next day,>>>>>> with no string attach, no regrets,no complained, no whining on the money .. We call that charity not chivalry..

We women spent lots of money to look good for the man we date, so he can enjoyed feasting his eyes on us , on our lovely boobs and our lips that cost us

22 bucks lipstick , our hair,etc..while he eats, What does a man do ???? I hope he took a shower,deodorant, clean underwears, clean shirt and jeans so we can get even a tad of our money's worth..
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 66
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/26/2009 9:01:23 AM
Every single bloody time.

Women want equality, now they have it

Another person who is unclear on the concept of "equality".
Making someone pay "every single bloody time" isn't "equal" at all. Whether you're female OR male.
===========
Oh, I stand corrected--OFFER to pay every time. Equal. I'm good with that.

 afinger
Joined: 10/20/2009
Msg: 68
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/26/2009 12:18:26 PM
If she doesn't offer but expects more dates and my budget is hurting, I tell her that the next one is her treat. If that offends her, I move on to someone better suited to my tastes.
 anyoneoutthier
Joined: 3/19/2007
Msg: 69
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/26/2009 2:44:29 PM
how about when she ask you out, if you cant aford to pay for the date you shouldnt be ask her out.
 njbris
Joined: 10/17/2009
Msg: 70
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/26/2009 4:14:39 PM
Vannili


We women spent lots of money to look good for the man we date, so he can enjoyed feasting his eyes on us , on our lovely boobs and our lips that cost us

22 bucks lipstick , our hair,etc..while he eats, What does a man do ???? I hope he took a shower,deodorant, clean underwears, clean shirt and jeans so we can get even a tad of our money's worth..


Women make effort to look good regardless if they are on a date or not. For a man to look good also comes with expenses.

To say that a man should pay to make you look good is a hilarious piss poor pathetic excuse. Seriously, how low can you get? You pay for your self to present your self. That is life. It’s not the man’s responsibility.

If a man started saying that women should pay because I have expenses of using my hair gel, cologne, and shaving blades etc he would get laughed at by everyone

No double standards!

CassaGo


Another person who is unclear on the concept of "equality".
Making someone pay "every single bloody time" isn't "equal" at all. Whether you're female OR male.
===========
Oh, I stand corrected--OFFER to pay every time. Equal. I'm good with that.


You may be mixed up about my concept. I mean the woman should pay her half every single bloody time. Yes, that is equality. If you don't call that equality, you have a warped sense on what "equality" really is.
 Cynderella
Joined: 3/8/2007
Msg: 72
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When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/26/2009 6:34:21 PM
This is why coffee is a good first date, no money wasted if there is not a promising future...

I offer to pay for my own right from the start...now if something looks promising and I couldn't help pay...I wouldn't set an evening to date...unless otherwise stated that one would pay now and perhaps a good home cooked meal to come at a later date.

Things need to balance, to work long term.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 73
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When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/26/2009 7:23:27 PM
OOnicko, hold your horses !!! the topic here is who initiates the invitation/ date is the one who is paying, or discuss the split of the cost or dutch... I DID NOT SAY THAT YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR MY GROOMINGS OR WOMEN GROOMINGS TO DATE YOU,WHAT I SAID WE PUT SOME EFFORT TO SPRUCHED OUR SELF AND PLEASING TO OUR DATE... No one ever paid any body,s grooming That I heard of..
BLOODY HAWK !! that is no problem !!!you pay for your own meal /drinks and your date will pay for herself too. Well, still a lots of men are gentlemen that observed social ethics of upper crust, so you have to tell your date that SHE HAS TO PAY HER HALF for she doesn't read your mind.... and if she invited YOU to her house for a dinner offer to pay half the groceries and her effort on preparation of the food..

I don't think she will be hospitable to you ,because you are not hospitable to her..LOL
 Ma_Karuna
Joined: 8/19/2009
Msg: 74
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/27/2009 12:53:20 AM
Darling,

I have a rule I often apply: If we're friends, we go Dutch; if we're lovers, sometimes you pay, sometimes I pay: if you're my man, you pay.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 75
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When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 10/27/2009 5:11:53 AM
Sweetheart,
I have a strict rule : If we're girlfriends/ male friend/potential lover and I invited you I pay +tips, but if you invited me you pay +tips. But,if either of us would want to go to a high faluting restaurant/ bar/or any events/ we'll discuss the cost I'll give you my share of expenses in advance,because I am not comfortable opening my wallet and paying for myself or for both of us infront of people it is very down grading to a man that he is nothing and he got nothing but his height and muscles ,unless I am his BOSS I will pay for his meal in front of eveybody... If a man is my LOVER/MY MAN I'll treat him like a KING to a restaurant ( buffet) paid in advance, (I am a woman who believes in GIVE AND TAKE.. ) Or I will cook for him a gourmet meals fit for a KING..........

My name is Vannili and my middle name is The Sensous woman..
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