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 LoriIsLoLo
Joined: 7/12/2009
Msg: 115
When should the woman offer to pay?Page 4 of 35    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35)
I think the first meet should always be split! I always offer to pay my portion no matter what date it is but honestly have never had a man take me up on it and most have acted offended that I even offered! But I don't believe all the financial burden should be on the man at all!
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 116
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 3/7/2010 3:21:31 PM
Why don't people discuss these things before going on dates? Is it because you are afraid of the other person giving a pass on you because you want to dutch date? Well if they do pass on you just because you believe each person should pay their way while dating,then is that really the kind of person you would want to date anyway? The last date I went on before we even went on our first date I simply asked him outright if he wanted to make this a dutch date?
 njbris
Joined: 10/17/2009
Msg: 117
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 3/7/2010 9:33:28 PM

I want someone who enjoys my company, not someone who thinks they need compensating for it with a freebie.


The problem is that the women who believe a man should compensate for their company think they are above men.
 jdriver69
Joined: 2/28/2010
Msg: 119
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 3/8/2010 5:17:31 AM
I think after the first 2-3 dates it should become a 50-50 thing where you just kind of take turns paying and the woman should offer to pay by the 3rd or 4th date or she's just being a leech. The idea that a guy should always pay for everything comes from a time where women didn't work (our grandparents) and that old-fashioned tradition and mindframe has been passed on to today's women but it just doesn't hold any validity anymore because women work these days and have their own money. To me guys paying for women every time they go out puts women back in the 50's where they really didn't have the work opportunities and were expected to be homemakers and pop out a few kids and be a stay at home mom. If that's what you women want to be perceived as then that's fine but times are definitely different now.
 cherryyblossom
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 120
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 3/8/2010 5:47:03 AM
women and men should pay the same, period.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 126
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 3/8/2010 12:57:01 PM
I just always plan on paying for my own on first dates.
Any relationship I've been in has always been the you
pay I pay kind...even though I've never kept score.
I'll tell you what I don't like though, people who INSIST
on paying just so they can throw it back at you later.
People who say no when they mean yes I want you to pay.
People who like to argue everytime about the bill.
I have no problem paying my bill, your bill, our bill.
But I won't keep score and I won't get into arguments.

If you set a precedent, you can't complain about the
results.
 njbris
Joined: 10/17/2009
Msg: 127
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 3/8/2010 1:57:44 PM
SonyaLT


When a man picks up the tab, it says to me that he is caring, considerate, a gentleman, and will treat me like a lady.


So if the woman doesn’t pick up the tab, it must mean that she is not caring, considerate, and a lady. Am I correct?

Please explain in logical detail how owning a pu$$y makes a person magically be immune from being someone who is NOT caring, considerate, etc etc etc when they don’t pay a cent towards the date?

This is complete sexist and chauvinistic notion.


Normally, I reach for my purse. If the man says, "I got it." I put my purse away. If he does not, I cover my portion of the tab and pick up the tip


So you like to play mind games also? How immature can an adult woman get? You reach for your purse which is giving him the impression that you want to pay . And the signal that you give him, if he applies to it, he is doing “wrong”, not “right”. So in other words, he is supposed to do the opposite to what signals you give him.

No wonder why you are still single.


I like things simple and reasonable


Hahahahahahaha

The irony is obvious
 Bookbelle
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 131
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When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 3/8/2010 4:40:44 PM
I always bring enough money to cover the date, and have no problem offering to pay. If a guy does offer to pay/insists, whatever, it's sweet, but it's not something I ever "expect" when I go out with someone.

With the first guy I ever went out with, it was a lunch/cinema date. (I know, cliche, but I was 16). He insisted on paying for lunch, so when we got to the cinema, I went ahead and got the tickets.
 simmonskel9irish
Joined: 10/5/2009
Msg: 134
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When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 3/8/2010 7:38:35 PM
Great Question. I say the first date, the man should but I would offer to leave the tip. I just went through this with an ex boyfriend. He had a bad experience from his last ex girlfriend and would not pay for anything. My friends were all over him about it.

But I can see times have change and dinner is expenseive. So I think the old fashion way would be that the man pays for it but would still cover the tip. Dinner and a movie he would pay for dinner and I would cover the movie.
 Julie72581
Joined: 1/16/2010
Msg: 135
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 3/8/2010 7:38:40 PM
I don't mind him paying, I don't mind if I pay, or if we split it. Most of my friends think going dutch means its not a date. I don't now about that, I think its equal and its fair. I don't always have the money either, but hell I'd take him to play minigolf and buy us a pizza, or like the poster had said, a $5 footlong. I'm all for it. I would discuss it with him first so don't get into a situation where I'm strapped for cash and he wants me to pay. :)
 spiner1
Joined: 7/5/2008
Msg: 136
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 3/8/2010 7:54:44 PM
In this day and age I would say the second date probably, at least that's the way it has gone with the last couple of women I have dated. That's if I aksed her out, times when a lady asked me out she usually paid for the date.

On a first date when the bill comes I will say don't worry about it when they start going for their wallet but if they insist (and some do) we go dutch. After that we usually flip, I get this time, she gets the next - she pays for supper, I pay for the show, etc.

To be honest it has never really been an issue with anyone since high school but I can admit it would annoy me if my partner never offered to pay for anything.
 Anzia
Joined: 8/8/2007
Msg: 137
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 3/8/2010 8:16:01 PM
I offer to pay all the time, but unfortunately, in NM, the men take my offer 99% of the time. What's up with that?
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 138
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 3/8/2010 8:34:57 PM
I offer to pay all the time, but unfortunately, in NM, the men take my offer 99% of the time. What's up with that?



True,and then they get extremely insulted when you insist to the point of them not wanting to see you again. It seems that in "who pays" women are damned if they do and damned if they don't.
 Bookbelle
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 139
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When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 3/8/2010 9:21:18 PM
Hehehe...
What happens when both people on the date are of the same sex?
 njbris
Joined: 10/17/2009
Msg: 140
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 3/8/2010 9:45:24 PM

True,and then they get extremely insulted when you insist to the point of them not wanting to see you again. It seems that in "who pays" women are damned if they do and damned if they don't


It's funny that I never hear about these men in my social circle. With all the people who have been in my personal life, I have never heard of a man being pissed at the woman demanding to pay for her share.

Maybe many women just believe men in general do think this way when they are probably rejected for other reasons. Don't get me wrong, there are a few men out there that probably would get offended by what women are saying on here. But the only place I hear about this is when women make excuses in threads like this one on random dating sites.

In all these types of threads I have seen, I hardly see a man express that he will get offended if the woman insist on paying for her share. I have never seen a man express such a thing in real life.
 njbris
Joined: 10/17/2009
Msg: 141
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 3/8/2010 9:54:38 PM

What happens when both people on the date are of the same sex?



THAT is such a stunningly good point that I'm surprised none of us considered it before. I wonder what the "man pays" crowd will make of it?


Good point, I have asked a few bisexual women this question before. But I never got a straight answer.

To me it seems that with bisexual women, another female is worth the same value as her, so another female is not expected to pay. Only the less valued people (men) are expected to pay for taking up the time and effort of a superior woman.
 452
Joined: 11/1/2009
Msg: 142
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 3/8/2010 10:16:39 PM
It's funny that I never hear about these men in my social circle. With all the people who have been in my personal life, I have never heard of a man being pissed at the woman demanding to pay for her share.



That's funny because A: You don't date men, or do you? and B: I run into them all the time. If fact it's been a rare occurrence when the man I have been on a date with did not become insulted when I insisted on paying.It was not a belief that this is what they were upset over.I was told specifically that this is what they were upset over. These are not beliefs.These are my and other women I know personal experiences.



In all these types of threads I have seen, I hardly see a man express that he will get offended if the woman insist on paying for her share.



These threads are very rarely indicative of real life.



I have never seen a man express such a thing in real life.



Again based on your past posting history you date women not men.
 free_pizza
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 143
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 3/8/2010 10:21:03 PM
"I have asked a few bisexual women this question before. But I never got a straight answer."

I'm not sure if you intended this to be funny but it is.
 Bookbelle
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 144
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History
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 3/8/2010 10:32:18 PM

Good point, I have asked a few bisexual women this question before. But I never got a straight answer.

To me it seems that with bisexual women, another female is worth the same value as her, so another female is not expected to pay. Only the less valued people (men) are expected to pay for taking up the time and effort of a superior woman.


Well, as a bisexual myself I'd do the same as when I'm on a date with a guy: take enough money to cover both of us, offer to pay, and not "expect" to be paid for (though it is sweet if someone really insists on doing so - but again, I do NOT "expect" them to.)
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 146
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 3/9/2010 4:40:57 AM
^^^I semi-agree with Nina here. In cases where I wasn't into the guy at all, I didn't just offer, I insisted on paying my half - to the point where once or twice I had the waitress rering an order to separate checks (if I didn't catch her on the way in) at the end of a meal.

I will still pay my share with a guy I'm into should he accept, I just don't fight or insist as much. But I won't offer if I don't intend on actually doing it.

I don't however find splitting a check to be a business meeting type thing - in fact most business meetings I've been in the person who's selling or proposing usually picks the check up anyway. A split check is merely a check two people pitch in and pay - it only has a certain feel to it if you allow it to.

Like I've said before - I'd much rather see a man bring the eye candy and personality. Simply paying the check to get points when you have nothing else to offer is easy, but it's lazy, and it's only effective as a bonus once we already like you.
 CheezyChick
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 148
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 3/9/2010 6:38:45 AM
I don't get it? What's all this fuss about who pays? "Dinners on me baby", after all...I'm going to end up with the house right?
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 149
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 3/9/2010 9:44:06 AM
I'd respect a woman a HELL of a lot more if she at the very least, offered to pay, or even INSISTED upon paying every now and then. Dating a person shouldnt have to get expensive.
 JRodriguez81
Joined: 2/24/2010
Msg: 151
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 3/9/2010 9:49:11 AM

I'm not a man,,,but if I were....if I was dating a woman who never paid nor offered to pay,,,each and every date would become more cheap. Meaning......I take her out to dinner the first time? That one's on me. The second time.....dinner again.....she does not offer....next time, I take her to a fast food joint. If she does not offer to pay half or all....next time I take her to the local gas station for a hot dog.






You know it!
 SingleGuy4912
Joined: 7/25/2006
Msg: 152
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History
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 3/9/2010 10:52:41 AM
Before services have been rendered.
 RushLuv
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 153
When should the woman offer to pay?
Posted: 3/9/2010 10:54:34 AM

to be fair just cause she got a hole between her legs doesnt mean i owe her money cause i had the privilege of her time.


It's good to know that you don't find a woman's vagina to be manipulative.
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