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 Arsun32
Joined: 12/30/2011
Msg: 140
casual sex or friends with benefitsPage 6 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
i know one thing,and the fwb stuff is not it
 interintwined
Joined: 1/20/2012
Msg: 141
casual sex or friends with benefits
Posted: 1/27/2012 12:44:28 AM
Not wrong but what's gonna happen is your gonna catch feelings for the person and u will sign up for more than u bargained for but if you can do that wow big ups to you your superwoman I can't do that
 justaskk
Joined: 2/19/2012
Msg: 142
casual sex or friends with benefits
Posted: 3/4/2012 10:59:34 PM
Nothing wrong with it at all..I love girls and they love me...spontaneous sex is fantastic...some people love sex..and are fantastic at it...and some suck..sorry! Real men drive trucks and are over 45 ..lol
 Darkbutcomely
Joined: 4/20/2011
Msg: 143
casual sex or friends with benefits
Posted: 3/5/2012 12:13:58 AM

nothing wrong with women doing same,but they tend to get emotional involed/the hurt party


This is why women should not repeatedly have sex with the same guy if they arent in a relationship.. It is to our advantage to sleep with more than one guy or one night stands. YOU are less likely to get your heart wrapped around a guy you don't really know other than you had sex with him. Now if he is your friend you spend time talking to him and then sleeping with getting all wrapped up in him. BETTER to hit it and quit it... GO in fast and hard then get out no time to get all warm and fuzzy.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 144
casual sex or friends with benefits
Posted: 3/5/2012 7:23:56 AM

Casual sex is just...I go out on a Friday night, meet some guy, and go home with him. Pretty risky in a number of ways.

Agree.

So yeah, I think that the FWB situation is more ideal (and safer), but also more likely to blow up in your face.

Yep. It's a safer, more trusting situation as far as no strangers, etc. But it's more risky as far as emotional drama's concerned. A FWB requires frequent being-on-the-same-page communication. When that doesn't happen and one of the parties becomes uneasy/anxious/confused, while the other party truly likes the other, it gets weird.

Some people confuse FWB with Booty Calls because they treat their FWB as a Booty Call. Sure, you aren't necessarily going to be in constant contact with a friend of yours... but there already is a bonding on some level, whereas a Booty Call is just a house-call and there's emotional detachment. In a true FWB, you don't want to isolate them and treat them more-or-less like a stranger (like a Booty Call) because then they'll see their friendship wilter... maybe still having some interaction, then see that wilter away. Communication is key for both parties so they know if they are inadvertently making the other uneasy about things (being read as coming across as wanting to go toward actual Dating, etc; if incorrect causes misunderstanding & unnecessary uneasiness).
 kanoe119
Joined: 12/21/2010
Msg: 145
casual sex or friends with benefits
Posted: 3/5/2012 10:50:55 AM
I feel it is because of outdated morality and lack of equality issues subconciously we still have not given women their equal rights It is time for us as humans to grow up.

Roy
 downtwn
Joined: 1/11/2012
Msg: 146
view profile
History
casual sex or friends with benefits
Posted: 3/6/2012 10:40:10 AM
There nothing wrong with that.
 damsel19
Joined: 2/22/2012
Msg: 147
casual sex or friends with benefits
Posted: 3/6/2012 1:03:57 PM
write time

I tend to agree with you. women in particular may just go along with the casual sex bit hoping for more and if it is for an extended period, they usually get attached in some way. In my mind, either you date or you don't and this friends with benefits thing is just a way of getting the sex without t he strings that men want. No wooing or winning and just take it and leave it.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 148
casual sex or friends with benefits
Posted: 3/6/2012 1:22:13 PM

That is why a man should not forgive a woman who cheated by having another "relationship".Women don't seem to be able to have sex without emotions involved.
Even prostitutes are said to start feeling for a man they repeatedly sleep with .

1. Women usually have sex as a result of an emotional connection with someone if they are cheating - it's more likely a symptom than the goal. Since that's the case, then I agree that in most cheating cases there's going to be emotional attachment, but don't see how it's any better or worse than other things when it comes to cheating.

2. Men can compartmentalize more, but in no way are they immune to attachment from repeated sex. Sure some can separate and stay distant, but not all.

3. There are some women who can stay just as removed from the situation, trust me. Not all are prone to attachment.
 Deena40
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 149
casual sex or friends with benefits
Posted: 4/27/2012 8:46:16 PM
I have to say, I have been married for 22 years. I have been with 2 men in those 22 years. The 2nd only recently. So I am far from "shopping" around. I am happy having a FWB, NSA, FB, or whatever you want to call it, with this ONE other person. I have a "situation" and he has a "situation", which both otherwise work.

So to compensate those "situations"......we have FWB, etc.....

My only issue would be that he doesn't have numerous other FWB partners.

However, who am I to put stipulations on a NSA, relationship!!! lol

Basically, any type of relationship is complicated in some manner. I guess like anything else, it takes a confident pair to make a FWB, NSA, FB relationship work.

Definetly, anything else social should be a "no no".

Flirting, some dirty texting, how was your day etc, is acceptable, beyond that the pair should really only contact each other when they wanna get it on!

There can be great sexual connection/relationship, without all the trimmings.
 Deena40
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 150
casual sex or friends with benefits
Posted: 4/28/2012 7:21:48 AM
Funny thing is, if both parties are willing and accept the terms and are getting enjoy out of the situation. Then NEITHER party should be concidered a slut. Just two people enjoying eachothers "company".
 mikec2003
Joined: 8/17/2005
Msg: 151
casual sex or friends with benefits
Posted: 4/28/2012 4:03:30 PM
This double standard has been around in our society for a very long time ...Guys get away with it and women are called whores. The truth is if a women is going to do it she better not talk about it or her so called friends will probably criticize her.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 152
casual sex or friends with benefits
Posted: 4/28/2012 5:06:13 PM
Nothing wrong with that morally I guess but if I like a guy enough to have ongoing sex then emotions sooner or later become involved and usually women find they become attached. Often hoping for something more to come of it even subconsciously.

Ask yourself if you mind if he sees others, that he doesnt take you out on dates or woo you, and you are more or less on call. It may work for a while but my bet is not for long term.
 Deena40
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 153
casual sex or friends with benefits
Posted: 4/28/2012 9:08:05 PM
I guess if both parties involved are otherwise happy with their lives with sex being the only lacking ingredient, then the FWB is easier to pull off...
However, we are human, to say feelings don't come into play at all would be a lie.
 snowstorm22
Joined: 4/22/2012
Msg: 154
casual sex or friends with benefits
Posted: 4/28/2012 9:54:05 PM
women are labeled whores if they do that :)
 a_Libra_rising
Joined: 2/29/2012
Msg: 155
casual sex or friends with benefits
Posted: 4/29/2012 5:05:01 AM
people do whatever they want to do. i don't think it's right to treat sex in such a casual way, but that's how society sees it and a lot of people in society have adopted that mentality.

i don't think friends will call each other sluts, whores, etc. because they go out and sleep around indiscriminately. i have several friends who have casual sex and i always laugh hard when they get super defensive about justifying their one nighters and yet, never seem to want to hold back on calling me names (in the sarcastic sense). i never called them any names and yet, ironically, i guess guilt hits them harder b/c they themselves know they're out and about slutting it up and they're not totally cool with themselves doing it while i'm secure with myself as they make fun of me for being celibate because i'm a relationship only person.
 baldguy500
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 156
casual sex or friends with benefits
Posted: 4/29/2012 6:44:10 AM
perfectly explained......

Do whatever turns you on- Warren Buffet
There is no right or wrong just choices that you make- Henry Rollins
 shattered72
Joined: 5/9/2012
Msg: 157
casual sex or friends with benefits
Posted: 5/13/2012 11:25:40 AM
I have a friend benefits and don't give a damn what anyone thinks. I have needs just like any man does.
 bigcalm
Joined: 3/14/2012
Msg: 158
casual sex or friends with benefits
Posted: 5/13/2012 3:35:21 PM
Be selfish and do what your mind and body wants.
 BlokeInSydney
Joined: 5/7/2012
Msg: 159
casual sex or friends with benefits
Posted: 5/27/2012 11:14:36 PM

Why is it so wrong that a woman wants just that causual sex or friend with benefits.. we are all human and i just wonder thats all...

Who is saying it's wrong, or wrong for women?

I know several women who have this arrangement and it suits them just fine.
 BlokeInSydney
Joined: 5/7/2012
Msg: 160
casual sex or friends with benefits
Posted: 5/27/2012 11:29:27 PM

women are labeled whores if they do that :)

By people like this:

a slut is someone who has casual sex willing to sell their body for their own pleasure. that person has no morals whatsoever.

And this"

Perhaps the question should be if men can imagine their mothers having casual sex or friends with benefits. If they can, I suggest calling and getting on the Jerry Springer Show.

'Nice girls' and women these days decide for themselves what suits them as far as their sexual relationships are concerned, as do men. In a modern secular society they do this without a lot of the imposed external pressures of years gone by, which caused much heartache and misery.

Many of these women are mothers who do have FWB arrangements which are nobody else's business, including their children.
 Behind-Blue-Eyes_53
Joined: 12/19/2011
Msg: 161
casual sex or friends with benefits
Posted: 5/28/2012 12:00:35 AM

mako20
Ok so what if the guy isnt like that should he be ok with the women doing that????


Then don't stick your little head into someone your big head hasn't had the committed relationship talk with. Problem solved.
 Eros_realm
Joined: 5/7/2012
Msg: 162
casual sex or friends with benefits
Posted: 5/28/2012 1:57:55 PM
all depend on the people involved. Can you keep from falling for each other because if not you will probably lose a good friend. Often ladies and men start telling the innermost feelings usually leads to a relationship. That said I have a few. You just have maintain an awareness and what not to cross.
 Tallyh0e
Joined: 2/8/2012
Msg: 163
casual sex or friends with benefits
Posted: 5/28/2012 7:30:15 PM
I wanna know why "looking to date but nothing serious" means to most women that we are looking for sex only..
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 164
casual sex or friends with benefits
Posted: 5/28/2012 7:50:03 PM

Perhaps the question should be if men can imagine their mothers having casual sex or friends with benefits. If they can, I suggest calling and getting on the Jerry Springer Show.

Not any more than imagining one's mother begging for more from their dad... or when they lost their virginity in high school or college. Just because it makes one shudder to imagine a situation (like two guys kissing) doesn't mean it's bad, wrong, and shouldn't be done.

Can you keep from falling for each other because if not you will probably lose a good friend.

I don't think there's any fear/problem of BOTH people falling for each other at the same time... it's about one person wanting/expecting more from the other after time rolls on, when the other person doesn't.

There are two types of hurt, when it comes to any boy-girl relationship/situation or even a relationship-relationship (after time rolls on):
(a) Heartbreak, where it's nobody's fault -- one person lost interest and the other still has it
(b) Mistreating the other because you lost interest and you f' things up... games, bsing, hiding info, lying, leading them on, etc -- ie not being a friend -- that IS a "string" attached (which shouldn't be a chore if you value & respect them, ie truly think of them as a real actual friend the whole time).

You just have maintain an awareness and what not to cross.

I agree. Basically, you are what you Do. Labels are just descriptions of what it has aimed to be ... not necessarily what it actually is. If you're sleeping over 3 nights a week, play with their kid, meet the family, help fix her car, etc -- you're dating. You are friends with benefits. But you're also more than just that.

Friends with benefits is someone who's a friend and you sleep together here and there. It can easily bleed into casual dating, because actual one-on-one Friends who keep in close touch AND are sleeping together, start to enter that casual dating zone, and instead of FWB being a statement to not be an actual item of sorts, you then are an item of sorts who may try not to be trying to be serious. That too requires communication.

Basically, ANY boy-girl situation in which there's a line drawn ahead with a sign that says "We do not want to cross this line of intensity/seriousness", will require communication of being on the same page to avoid any false expectations, wrong interpretations, etc. as time passes.
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