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 AUTHOR
Hugging....Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Some people just hug. As long as she's with you and going home with you I wouldn't worry about it. Does not matter who it is.

Goodness, what would you do if you were with someone who was a natural flirt?
 cfb62
Joined: 9/17/2007
Msg: 12
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Hugging....
Posted: 6/26/2009 8:36:05 AM
She's hugging random guys, but not her bf??!!!
Flag on the field! Flag on the field!
Personally, I'd walk away from the situation.
That's just not right.
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 16
Hugging....
Posted: 6/26/2009 9:48:39 AM
^^^^^^^ That also depends on how demonstrative he is with her. Maybe he would like the hugs but he's also not the first to give them out either. She may have her own issues from past experiences and she may have found someone similar in the OP.

Does she have no girlfriends that you ever see her greet? I'm guessing she hugs them too. Are you afraid then that she's showing gay tendancies? Get a grip or your jealous tendancies will see you bitter and alone unless you find some cold fish who enjoys being dictated to with respect to how she should behave in all areas of her life and not just with her friends. Control freaks irritate the crap out of me.
 jaqi
Joined: 2/2/2008
Msg: 17
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Hugging....
Posted: 6/26/2009 9:49:52 AM
I would be totally suffocated around you gray wolf... I was married for 7 years to a possessive and insecure man and I would never ever have anything at all to do with one like him ever again. Hugging is natural for girls and like one of the others said if she is not hugging you then it would seem that you are already driving her away.

Deal with your own insecurities before they wreck each and every relationship you have.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 20
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Hugging....
Posted: 6/26/2009 10:14:40 AM
GoodeWitch, you got this part of it wrong, which might change some of you reaction...

Who the heck runs up to an ex boyfreind, in front of a previous boyfreind, to hug him, when the ex was supposed to be such a d888wad to her in the first place? maybe a girl who is trying to get a jealous reaction out of her boyfreind for giggles, maybe?

It was her ex's BROTHER she greeted with a hug.

OP, you are into a power struggle with her and unresolved power struggles will unravel a relationship. Guaranteed. Either accept her or move on. If you realize that you just can't make the leap of acceptance, then end it... not because either of you are wrong about comfort levels with being demonstative, but because you are incompatible.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 24
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Hugging....
Posted: 6/26/2009 11:54:37 AM

If I could, I'd be asking his girlfriend what her attraction is towards men who are uptight about physical displays of affection, because it would appear the OP is the second in a row for her.

I had the same thought.
 redy4chg
Joined: 6/20/2009
Msg: 30
Hugging....
Posted: 6/26/2009 3:00:17 PM
I agree with anjelic. Not a huggy, feely person myself, but I live in the south... ok Tx (haha), and hugging seems like a regular greeting or parting for most. As does saying "love ya". It doesn't mean anything any more than Hi or goodbye. Body language is most definately the key.

Sorry abelian ;) but I agree with anjelic on the insecurity level too. I think it is just the enviornment you are raised in. We did not show affection in my home growing up, and hence, I am not a touchy person, but was very insecure. My children's father's family are serious huggers, kissers, "love"rs. I thought it was touching and raised my kids that way. Over the years I have grown accustomed to hugs and "love ya" as hi and good bye. I know quite a few people who are huggers, and none of them are insecure. Quite the opposite. ;)

I am much more secure now that I accept them without cringing.
 miska1
Joined: 9/16/2008
Msg: 31
Hugging....
Posted: 6/26/2009 3:46:35 PM
What nationality are you, where were you raised?

She hugged the ex b/f brother, it wasn't some random man, it was someone she had known for a few YEARS. As for the other one he was probably a college FRIEND, not lover. Did you get jealous when she hugged her sisters b/f?

Some people, men or women show friendship as a hug for a greeting. Did she do the 10 minute plaster her full frontal body to his and squirm all over? Kinda doubtful.

She states her ex b/f of 3 years hated her showing afection of any kind.......take a hint buddy, she isn't a new found hugger, she shows affecti0n and/or frienship by hugging.

You are going to make her make a choice,- and it won't be you, unless you accept this about her. She has done nothing wrong.
 A_wild _rose
Joined: 7/30/2008
Msg: 37
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Hugging....
Posted: 6/26/2009 10:46:30 PM
OP Lets reverse this how would you feel if your girlfriend tried to control what you do?
Your attitude in regard to her hugging is controling period! Let her be herself not who you want her to be! If you don't ease up on OP and develope some security in your relationship, your going to ruin it. The girl is being open about her behavior, not hiding it. Is it your intent to create so much tension in your relationship due to your lack of trust and in security that your girlfriend is going to end up feeling like she is being smothered, stifled and cant be who she is? She is with you because she wants to be but if you continue feeling the way you do, you will drive her away. LET her be who she is or let her go it is as simple as that! Remember the cliche OP " a bird in a cage won"t sing". Your trying to cage her in. If you want her then realise what you are doing!
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 38
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Hugging....
Posted: 6/26/2009 11:00:55 PM
OP: If you love this girl you have to accept the fact that she's a hugger .. (lots of us are) You've given us enough examples to illustrate that hugging is part of who she is and how she relates.. none of the examples you gave show (me anyway) that she's the least bit trying to make you jealous.. nor do they show that she's has any romantic interest with who she hugged or that her hugs were of the sensual kind.

I think this is your issue because you were raised without hugs.. she was probably raised with lots of them. Maybe if You initiated some of that affection you say she doesn't give you you'll feel happier, less angst filled and insecure... I know they'll be appreciated and reciprocated.

> BTW does your g/f know you have an active profile looking to hang out with women from the internet You're jealous of her just hugging her friends.. How would you react if she had the same type of profile???

Things to ponder.
 Wishes Granted
Joined: 3/6/2008
Msg: 44
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Hugging....
Posted: 6/27/2009 8:36:51 AM
You can try to justify you're issue as much as you like, it's your's to do with what you like.. Deny and justify away.

I just don't want to see men I don't know holding my girl like that! she's my girl so take a hike..if that's possesive I don't care! hell I wouldn't care about it if she menat nothing to me....
"HOLDING" my girl like that" Now, were they HOLDING her or was it a greeting type hug?.. *waits for you to back-peddle*

:) So to all those people who said I'm insecure and wrong and that it's nothing...
How about I hug your woman and press press body into mine and see how you like it ??? :) you'd be fine with it right? cause it's not a big deal everyone does it! :)
You aren't listening to what we're saying.. Your statement is so immature I wonder why she's still with you. Those of us who HUG would have no problem with it because we DO IT ourselves and we have no ulterior motive. Whats so hard to understand? You think we'd be as jealous as you?.. We (at least I) wouldn't be jealous because in my mind, when I hug a friend it's innocent.. Most people can suss out the difference between a hug hello and a sexually charged hug wrought with sensuality.. you can't seem to do that.. your jealousy and possessorary "love" won't allow you to see the innocence.

ps: this profile is a joke....I just keep it for the forums and I don't messege peopel with it
Again, I ask you.. If you g/f had a "joke" profile that said nothing about her being in a relationship.. whould that be okay with you? Somehow I doubt it.
I suppose we'll see you with a "real" profile soon enough when you've diven her away.. maybe sub-consciously that's what you're trying to do anyway ???
 LKN4MYLAFAWNDA
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 47
Hugging....
Posted: 6/27/2009 1:59:35 PM
you are very insecure, and no offense u sound like a bit of a wuss. She will dump you guaranteed if you keep this up. Unless, of course she has equally low self-esteem and is convinced she can't do better.

you had better change your ways my friend, women dont like desperation
 LKN4MYLAFAWNDA
Joined: 6/21/2009
Msg: 49
Hugging....
Posted: 6/27/2009 3:05:32 PM
this dude is acting as though his girl tongue kissed some guy
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