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 huggablekiss
Joined: 3/21/2009
Msg: 36
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?Page 2 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)
Your quote: "I believe many people are being misdiagnosed and could be treated more successfully if they had the correct tests run for an accurate diagnosis. "

There is no verification or proof for 'chemical imbalance' and psychiatry still do not know or understand how anyone actually gets bi-polar, however through feedback from those who has encountered this disability, with it's description, the field has gained understanding from gathering information and research, and named it Bipolar I or II. There are those that get misdiagnosed, and there are instances where it is with conjunction with another type of affliction, such as anxiety, and/or OCD.

I believe Bipolar is a splitting of the polarity, whereby an individual sways to an extreme degree in either direction (such as rage and then being loving, hating then being extremely nice, which are mood swings to such disabling one's emotions as it is swinging towards extremity). Normal is considered a balanced person, which has control of their emotional faculties who can act accordingly within what most perceive as 'normal' societal expectation to reactions.

There is work to be done for the individual person to heal and the brain realigning to normalacy, instead of the two polarities which is why it is important to receive necessary help from others in the medical field, such as a therapist. Cognititive Behaviourial Therapy (CBT) can induce healing (as medication is a quick fix to reduce the sufferring one is encountering, but doesn't conquer the underlying 'cause for the disruption of the normal faculties of the emotions). Many bipolars are sensitive and cares what others think too much, which is perhaps another reason why these individuals are 'emotionally' charged and are prone to depression.

My personal opinion on such is that the main 'cause' is lack of confidence, extreme egocentric which 'causes one to do things that is out of norm (buying sprees while not having the means to do so), low self-esteem, not in touch with reality (not being realistic about one's own situation in life and not being able to problem solve things that 'causes distress or personal suffering). To start problem solving first is to love yourself meaning, care about yourself, or some may call it well-being.

Your quote: "...........modern psychiatry and pharmaceutical R&D; its become a business for many rather than helping people."

I don't think it's about the business so much, but they can only help you through their skils ability from their educational background and from experience dealing with other patients, but most will not understand what you are personally going through because they do not know how it is like although there is sympathy. Much of the work and effort will be from the one who is afflicted with this disability while the medical professions are there to assist him or her.
 IronmanT
Joined: 5/15/2009
Msg: 37
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 7/15/2009 10:47:52 AM
Dreamy Skies:
What you said about empathy is so true. Sometimes external conditions such as life's trama and drama have adverse effects on the mind as well as the chemical makeup of the complete body. A person that has conditions (very close to each other) like Bi-polar, Anxiety disorders, PTSD, etc. often are effected by both chemical and social events. But like any disease each person is either commited to their own well being or not. That means that it takes effort sometimes extreme effort and education on how to live. My thought is that anyone with a perfect life be the first one to throw stones, otherwise take into consideration that we all have struggles and skeletons to deal with. I choose to be there for people and when dating someone, its not all about me. To love someone means much more because at some point we are all going to exit this world by some means, being it an illness or accident. The point is that we are all human, and we all deserve dignity and respect.
 HazelRose
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 41
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 7/23/2009 6:13:43 AM
That chick who is crazy fun, but every now and then sinks like the Titanic, yeah you know the one, and well now you know her secret.
 michael feir
Joined: 5/15/2007
Msg: 42
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 7/23/2009 10:34:37 AM
Only partly. My ex-wife had chemical depression so I certainly experienced the sudden irrational downward swings. There isn't much to be done when those happen other than being extremely patient, careful what you say, and not taking things she might say during those times too personally. they'll likely include personally hurtful things but it's the chemicals running riot in there. Think of it like a storm. Batten down the hatches and hang on for dear life. Hopefully, somebody else can offer some insight into the other pole.
 jacob8088
Joined: 9/6/2009
Msg: 44
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 10/12/2009 7:38:48 PM
I've dated a bi-polar chic once. Although I just wanted to see how much of a challenge she was gonna be, overall she was a total certified nutcase. OP unless you plan on sleeping with one eye open at all times, I highly recommend you ditch the wackjob.

Least for your own safety and well being.
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 45
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Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 10/13/2009 1:46:46 AM
I once dated a person with a bipolar disorder and it was problematic. It becomes more evident when she would refuse to take her medication and then she got nuts. With too many insults flying and all the problems dealing with it, it took its toll on me and I decided to end the relationship. Use your own judgement, if you can deal with the problems you are faced with, that is if her tendencies is to use you as a target of her agressions then RUN, otherwise use your own judgement.
 thwipp89
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 46
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Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 10/13/2009 2:33:03 AM
dated a gal who later revealed she was bi-polar and taking meds for it...which explained some of her illogical decisions. i'd move on, if i were you. not really worth the trouble.
 stevelfun
Joined: 10/23/2005
Msg: 47
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 10/13/2009 6:15:50 AM
Unfortunately, it is pretty individual with each.

The one thing that I will tell you - unless they are treated and/or medicated - an 'event' will come and, depending on the person, heaven help you.

It is a downward spiral to a place where NOTHING will bring them anything remotely resembling happiness. That includes you.

Relationships often end for a bi-polar during one of these 'events' at their choosing.

They are clutching at straws. They feel as though everything in their life is causing these feelings - and they 'purge' all of that from their lives at these times. Changing everything that they can. A new hair do. New clothes. Job. Relationship.

Maybe a treated and medicated bi-polar MIGHT be able to weather these episodes. But for those that don't fully take ownership of being bi-polar and seek to do something about it - they will let it stear their lives.
 LangloisJ
Joined: 2/28/2007
Msg: 48
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Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 10/13/2009 11:32:57 AM
I dated a Bipolar Manic Depressive and all I will say is never again. She was fine but when she forgot her pills, watch out. You could totally tell because she would be all hyper and then all calm and just act real crazy. You could tell the attitude changes. It was a crazy relationship but when she was on her pills she was ok though.
 IgorFrankensteen
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 49
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Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 10/14/2009 10:39:39 AM
I was married to one for twenty years. In my experience, there are those with mental or other problems who accept responsibility for themselves and their disability, and those who do not. The ones to avoid are the ones who expect the world to do the adjusting to them. My wife was and is one of these. The ones who accept their disability, and work to make their way through the world with appropriate medical help, can be very worthwhile people to have in your life.
The best advice to follow is the same as you would to avoid someone who is overly selfish, callous, or otherwise emotionally irresponsible: take you time getting to know them, and if they regularly upset you, use and abuse you, or disappoint you, keep them at arms length.
 NotElvisJunior
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 50
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Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 10/16/2009 2:21:28 PM
igorfrankensteen wrote:

The ones to avoid are the ones who expect the world to do the adjusting to them.

VERY aptly put!
 JONITA
Joined: 8/24/2009
Msg: 51
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Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 10/24/2009 8:39:22 AM
Yes, unfortunately, I can relate. I met this guy about 7 years ago on another dating site. In the beginning he was very attentive and romantic. He came on very strong initially in the relationship. I was very flattered. Then things started to change. To be honest, there were signs along the way, but of course, I wasn't reading them. Their behaviours are usually very erratic. This guy would show up at my place out of the blue. Then disappear for a period of time. He had to drive long distance to get to my place. He would run very hot and cold. His behaviour was bizzar at times. Even with medication, such a relationship is very difficult to maintain. If she comes back and wants to reconcile, I would say, "RUN FOR THE HILLS." Count yourself lucky that you got off easy.
 GQSunset
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 52
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 10/29/2009 6:58:57 AM
I dated someone who was bi polar, don't know what stage it was.

One minute she was madly in love with me

The next minute she's cursing me out on voicemail because i was 10 mins late for a date she thought i had ditched her, my cell was dead and traffic was murder.

This went on throughout our brief dating and ulitmately killed any possibility of a relationship.

She was on meds and told me that when she gets like that i should remind her to take her meds.

I'm no stranger to caring for someone who is ill, i' have been a care giver twice in my life to two family members who were very ill but you just can't have a working relationship with someone who is bi polar because it strains you both emotionally to the point where you lose sight of where the real problems in the relationship begin and the bi polar ends.
 hotrodius
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 55
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 11/15/2009 4:19:35 AM
Bipolar going threw her changes. Run Forest Run !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 mclendon1967
Joined: 12/13/2010
Msg: 56
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Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 6/17/2012 7:41:07 AM
Wow.....you went through total hell on earth. I dated someone with bipolar or I suspect so based on her behavior. After the date, I was emotionally exhausted after listening to the rambling and her need for me to be less than a gentleman.
 wackadoodledoo
Joined: 4/14/2011
Msg: 57
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Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 6/17/2012 4:14:04 PM
There has been much discussion on the topic of bipolar. It is clinically a mental health disorder that is characterized by mood swings. There are highs and lows. The high mood is what is called mania. It can consist of sexual inappropriateness, racing thoughts, delusions of grandeur, pressured speech and sometimes out of control behavior. The depressive episodes result in social isolation, tearfulness, lack of appetite or ever eating and possibly suicidal thoughts. It can affect each person differently. It takes time to find the correct and most effective medication for each individual. The side affects of the medication often are unpleasant and often result in non compliance. Sometimes, even when the person is taking his or her medication, there may be an exacerbation of symptoms. I have witnessed many a relationship and family become destroyed and unraveled as a result of mental illness. Sometimes the person may experience more mania then depression or vice versa. Some people also may have longer periods of one mood than another with the same diagnosis. My advice to you , is to do a lot of research and then you decide what is best for you. Just be knowledgeable about what you might encounter.!
 Smoky_Blue
Joined: 6/15/2012
Msg: 58
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 6/18/2012 11:18:40 PM
Well I have never dated any women with bipolar, I just am not built to date females, I like my men tho :P

Sounds to me the ones that make others not want to be around the bipolar people, aren't active in helping themselves.
Either thru meds or therapy (shock, talk or what have you) and possibly have more than just bipolar going on.

Just a thought :)

Mementomori, sounds like to me, again, you were dating ones that needed their meds, were off their meds, or just didn't give a damm. Yes bipolars are some of the best in bed :P but ya know what? even "normal" people lie cheat steal kill threaten abuse etc., it depends on the morals consciousness and desire for self improvement in one's life.

It's a choice.. either take people as they are, or walk away, and don't hang it on their issues.. we all have issues.. and if there is one person that says they don't, they are full of it. :)
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 59
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 6/19/2012 1:27:48 AM
DONT DO IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 vestaceres
Joined: 6/13/2012
Msg: 60
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 6/19/2012 4:10:31 AM
Emotional immaturity is rampant Among those with seemingly "normal" minds, whereas mental illnesses are clinical disorders related to physiology that requires treatment.
 Smoky_Blue
Joined: 6/15/2012
Msg: 61
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 6/19/2012 6:16:25 AM

Happilynotstupid: Nope, she was on her meds the entire time. Occasionally she would forget her pills that day, but she took them regularly. I've actually dated a couple bi polar women. Similar situations each time. It's a rollercoaster ride. Not something I'd really like to do again.


If that's the case, I do know! It could be that there is a percentage that the medications don't work very effective. With me, it only made me worse than I was. I happened to meet Gregory Smith, the man that wrote Men are from Mars Women are from Venus. It was in his office I was diagnosed bipolar with adhd. ;) Since then, it was decided I needed better coping skills, since half the meds I am allergic to and the other half just made me worse. It took a ton of talk therapy, and now I am only on what's called case management. I haven't had any episodes since the time of my diagnosis, and I might be one of the lucky ones, that only has one in their entire lifetime. I have seen what the heredity bipolar does, as it was rampant in my family, both my grandparents on my mom's side had it, mom was a carrier..

All this shouldn't really make one not want to date someone with bipolar, again, it's how one controls themselves, how they act, and behave. Anyone can be or act stupid, and it doesn't have a thing to do with bipolar. Yes there are signs, but really, it needs to be found out from a professional, not just an accusation that your date has bipolar or other. If you haven't had the schooling, you can not say what their issue is, and, if you are not attracted to someone it wont matter if they are bipolar or other.

Other than one user here on the forums, I honestly have yet to meet a bipolar man, or haven't noticed if any of my dates had it. I do not look for that. I look to see if my match can hold a conversation, if they listen to me, and if they make time to care about themselves and others. I also look to see how they manage their finances, (its a week spot still for me, but I am doing much better over the years) and how they use manners and other things that attract me to the person! We all have our issues, how we handle them is up to the individual.


Emotional immaturity is rampant Among those with seemingly "normal" minds, whereas mental illnesses are clinical disorders related to physiology that requires treatment.


I wont scratch my head on this one. I am more mature, than to do anything else. :P thanks for the laugh :)
 wanderer1999
Joined: 2/10/2007
Msg: 62
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Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 6/19/2012 10:39:45 AM
I've dated women who are bi-polar before.

My current GF of 3+ years is bi-polar (medicated).

That said, it's not something every person can handle. You'll need a couple of basic skills/traits to make it work...

1) The patience of Jobe. Be willing to ride out the ups and downs, and don't rush them when it comes to working out how they feel. They'll get there when they get there.

2) Never take things personally. Bi-polar people on the downswing can say hurtful things. The neurochemical imbalances can create dramatic mood swings from week to week. Treat it the same as if the person is drunk or stressed. Accept it for what it is and don't let their moods dictate your moods.

3) Always be supportive. When someone is on a downswing, talking is often less productive than just holding them and listening. They'll have specific things getting them down, but listen, support them emotionally, and remind them that you're there for them.

4) Don't be judgemental. Accept them for who they are and don't try to change them. If they need medication it's okay to mention it, but don't push. They'll seek help when they're ready.

5) Enjoy the highs, but don't get swept up in them. Just like a drunk might be the life of the party, it isn't really them. Someone on a bi-polar high can be fun, loving and wonderful. Enjoy it for what it is, but remember that it's only temporary.

6) Remember that it's not for everyone. A significant portion of human beings suffer from mood swings to one degree or another. Bi-polar disorder is just a more extreme version of it. Whether you can handle it or not is up to your particular make up and personal skills. If you can't handle it, there's no shame in that. Politely thank them for their time and exit the relationship while both of you have your dignity.

Dating someone who is bi-polar can be extremely hard, however it doesn't make them undatable. A woman who suffers from mood disorders can be just as rewarding as dating someone without mood disorders.. for the right kind of man.

If you're the type of man who is extremely even keeled, you'll be fine. If you have a volatile personality of your own then you will definitely run into issues.

Best of luck.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 63
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 6/19/2012 10:46:19 AM

Bi-polar disorder is just a more extreme version of it. Whether you can handle it or not is up to your particular make up and personal skills. If you can't handle it, there's no shame in that. Politely thank them for their time and exit the relationship while both of you have your dignity.


Good advice, I tried all of the above and in the end I am glad is over. Why? because you never knew where the next thing was coming from. Some bipolars do a great job at making you feel like they are fine and the one that has the issues is you. So you start dissecting your arguments and realize how pointless they were.

Medication also many times does not work well. While before they were very intense when going through their manic episodes or their depression episodes. The medication many times turns them into emotionless zombies that become detached of emotion.
 Smoky_Blue
Joined: 6/15/2012
Msg: 64
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 6/20/2012 4:24:53 AM

Dating someone who is bi-polar can be extremely hard, however it doesn't make them undatable. A woman who suffers from mood disorders can be just as rewarding as dating someone without mood disorders.. for the right kind of man.


Thanks Wonderer! It's good to see there are other men out there that do date bipolars and have been at least understanding.. Totally refreshing!! :) Sounds like you have your head on straight and truly care about your girl friend.

I agree too with your extremely even keeled.. The man I am dating is very laid back, sometimes to the point I ask him what he is thinking or going over in his head (I am the bipolar one lmao!) but he keeps me on track by decent and respectable communication and tries to engage my brain, rather than pushing my hot buttons and it's a bit of a wonder. :)


If you're the type of man who is extremely even keeled, you'll be fine. If you have a volatile personality of your own then you will definitely run into issues.


My only 2 exes in my life before I met this guy, were like this. My first was a party "boy" and always had to be the life of the party and when it was over, well makes me wonder if he wasn't the bipolar between us lol.. my 2nd, well he was volatile, and basically a jail bird and that is when I found out, it wasn't just him with issues, I found out I was bipolar too. That was 10 years ago this coming Nov, and our separation was the best thing I could have done. (sad when you are actually grateful to be out of a relationship but eh, it's the truth) I am just glad to see there are other men out there that can care about their partners, bipolar or not :)
 catfa51
Joined: 5/11/2012
Msg: 65
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 6/20/2012 9:31:23 AM
Dated someone who lied to me about it! Well she says it wasn't a lie, she just didn't tell me the truth at that time! Make sense? No? Anyway, be glad you got out. They tend to be extremely disorganized, have screwed up boundaries and priorities. They use guilt to get what they want or"...I will kill myself!". The next person I do date will be asked up front again and if I'm lied to again I will walk.
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