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 ohwhynot46
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 91
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Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?Page 4 of 10    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10)

What you have to understand is that there are two sides to being bipolar. The bipolar person, and how the bipolar person affects other people


No truer words have been said! To be fair, though, the poster to whom you have responded really does NOT have to understand that, just as the rest of the world is not required to understand how any particular thing makes them undesirable to some.

I am sad for those who suffer from bipolar disorder, but, in truth I would never advise anyone at all to become involved with someone who suffers from this or most other disorders which prevent a risk of detrimental effects on themselves or a family they may produce. The detrimental effects of living with someone who is unpredictable, whether because of bipolar disorder, clinical depression, alcoholism, etc. should not be downplayed. Many are those who are okay while on meds, but one day, they suddenly are not ok, and the risks are not worth it, as far as I am concerned.
 FlyyinSolo87
Joined: 6/15/2011
Msg: 92
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 6/29/2012 8:04:52 PM

Many are those who are okay while on meds, but one day, they suddenly are not ok, and the risks are not worth it, as far as I am concerned.


That's why I said it's not just medication. In order to prevent such a day from happening, the bi-polar must stay in constant check with not only medication but therapy, limiting alcohol, eliminating drug use, meditation is even a good tool. I said before, medication is only one part to controlling bi-polar. Again, it's like taking insulin for diabetes but not keeping your diet in check. Medication does not cure it, it just helps with the practice of controlling it. If a bi-polar is on medication and not in therapy they will have that one day you're talking about. The medication helps control the mood long enough so that therapy can treat the underlying causes.
 TylerDearden
Joined: 11/27/2007
Msg: 93
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Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 6/30/2012 1:01:04 PM
I just finnished dating a girl who was bi-polar. It did not come out until later in the relationship but when it did it was very hard on both of us and becamesvery difficult to get along with her.
 morethanplenty
Joined: 7/4/2012
Msg: 94
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 7/24/2012 9:14:33 PM
Had a 4 year relationship with a woman that has bi-polar disorder all I can say is NEVER AGAIN Run Away!!!
It sounds harsh but really it's REALLY hard :(
 Dolphina
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 95
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 7/24/2012 11:43:59 PM
I lived with a man who has bipolar disorder and it was a rollarcoaster existence. From manic highs to bed ridden depression; sexual promiscuity and wild spending sprees (horrifying to me who was brought up by frugal parents and who practices frugality), and only small periods of normality in between. I never want to have that experience again.

The early signs of mania can easily be missed, particularly at the beginning of the relationship. The passionate interest in you, the flowers and other gifts, the dinners and the excitement get mixed up in the joyousness of early love. It is so easy to excuse some of the excess and think to yourself, he/she will settle down. Unfortunately the person in that part of the cycle doesn't settle down. Next thing you know he is in the blackest depression you've ever seen. He doesn't talk, he doesn't eat; he lies in bed. Terrible thing to witness. Then he recovers and things seem normal again, and then normalcy takes on a strange hue and becomes excessive. He starts staying up later and later and going out spending more and more and visiting other woman. Yeah, a person with bipolar isn't easy to live with.
 newredtail007
Joined: 9/12/2012
Msg: 96
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 11/18/2012 11:59:57 AM
I totally agree...I dated a VERY bi polar woman that was so selfish and self centered..It brought out the WORST in me...I basically treated her with everything in my capability as far as caring and loving for her...But bi polar person would not see or appreciate anything you do for them...They are selfish and superficial...No body likes them even at work place or even family members....they are very abusive towards you and they think that the whole world revolves around them...
They do have control of their emotional tempers...thats why i honestly think that bi polar people are nothing but SPOILED, thoughtless people...
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 97
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 11/19/2012 11:34:53 AM

I have no interest or belief in war, violence, killing, maiming, and am very
strong in my belief in peace and gentle living.



How could you not believe in such things. The horror, the horror. (Brando whispering in the background.)


;-)
 legendary418
Joined: 9/12/2012
Msg: 98
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 11/20/2012 1:53:50 PM
They all are bi-polar :)
 accudart
Joined: 8/13/2012
Msg: 99
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Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 11/20/2012 2:06:44 PM
I'm going through a divorce with my wife who I believe is bi-bolar. I would never go out withsome with it unless they were being treated for it. She wore out my stepsons, pets and me and it took me a while out of the relationship to understand yhe effects on the rest of the family.
 hotrodius
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 100
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 12/27/2012 8:21:15 PM
Well said and summed up .
 hotrodius
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 101
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 12/27/2012 8:24:24 PM
Very true and the meds kill can kill their libido.
 Single_Dad_Dave
Joined: 4/21/2012
Msg: 102
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 12/27/2012 10:59:43 PM
My ex-wife was bi-polar.

I won't go into details, but NO WAY IN HELL WOULD I GO OUT WITH SOMEONE THAT WAS BI-POLAR.

She was a stay at home mom, but the kids went to daycare and were in after school programs. She told me she was depressed. When I asked about what, she said 'I don't know'. She was actually dating during the daytime, instead of being a mother.

She has a Bachelor's in Social Work and a Master's in Counseling and was a stay at home mom, but didn't get custody of her children. So, no. I wouldn't date a bi-polar person.
 ilovehistory
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 103
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Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 12/27/2012 11:27:08 PM

My ex-wife was bi-polar.

I won't go into details, but NO WAY IN HELL WOULD I GO OUT WITH SOMEONE THAT WAS BI-POLAR.


I agree 100%. My son's mother is bipolar, and over the years her condition got worse and worse. I left her because I couldn't stand her mood swings, paranoia, constant accusations that I cheated on her everytime a waitress was nice to me, etc.

On top of that, she was a terrible mother to our son, who she used as a pawn to hurt me by constantly refusing to let him see me. I finally got custody of him four years ago after the state of Indiana locked her up in a mental hospital for over a year. When she got out, she married a bipolar man she met in the psych hospital, then tried to get custody of our son back. The judge said no way! After that, she started drifting out of his life, and after she had a baby with her new husband, she walked away from my son completely.

My advice to anyone considering dating a mentally ill person is simple. DO NOT DO IT.
 Single_Dad_Dave
Joined: 4/21/2012
Msg: 104
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 12/28/2012 4:46:42 AM
^^^

Totally agree. My ex told me at the beginning of the week that she 'did a lot of stupid things before' and she's worked hard to change and I should never bring up the past.

I'm sorry I missed where you get a starter family and get one free walkaway when you have two delightful girls. But then say, I'm really working hard now. Sorry b*tch. You F*cked up your family. You walked away from a loving husband without any effort on your part. Seriously. When we went to counseling after one affair on her part, we got things better within a month. But her past came back to bite her. It was bad. Very bad. Very, very bad. And when I say past, I mean several weeks before.

She walked away from me. I can handle that. She walked away from two delightful, wonderful girls. She walked away from her family. I have no use for that.

You tell me what kind of woman is a stay at home mom, then tells her husband that she's too depressed to have her kids around, stashes them in daycare *and* afterschool programs. The kids were always the first ones dropped off and the last ones picked up. Meanwhile, did you know at a number of hotels you can check in at 10:00 a.m.? She used the time to date and **** around.

I have no use for her.

Oh, the kicker? She's now working for DSS...........wait for it.........in Child Protective Services.

Irony is not dead.
 GeekyCrazyButCool
Joined: 11/21/2012
Msg: 105
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 12/28/2012 8:02:22 AM
I can and all I can say is never ever ever EVER again :( it's all about them
lies and more lies.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 106
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 12/28/2012 8:37:22 AM

Oh, the kicker? She's now working for DSS...........wait for it.........in Child Protective Services.


This is funny. My ex got almost exactly the same job as you describe above, then she began her training. She had to take some test online and then some in their office. That was when she had a nervous breakdown and was diagnosed to be bipolar. She ended up spending a whole week in a psyche center. It helped her a lot. Yet when she began her meds, her moods went all over the place and it didn't really changed that when they are cold and empty, they are cold and empty.
 nirvanawithu
Joined: 12/12/2012
Msg: 107
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 12/28/2012 1:06:00 PM
It's just like their emotions, it can be over the top awesome or it can be a huge drag!

The worst part is not knowing when you are going to deal with getting chewed out violently for something minor or even things you didn't do. And I'm talking a full blown attack where you're not given a chance to explain or say anything, it's all one way. I had times where I had to get up and leave the room because she was so explosive and refused to hear more than a word from me. I was really shocked she didn't get violent and those episodes can scare the hell out of you.

They can go from what seems to be dissapointed or down in the dumps, to normal and pleasant, to seriously angry within minutes. My girl fought violently in her sleep quite often, always yelling at someone for something in a super heated argument, even throwing punches! At first I thought it was funny, but over time I felt really bad that she was being tormented and I couldn't help her somehow.

Your friends and family will eventually make comments, but in a curious way. It's easy for them to spot someone with a way above average, very strong personality. I never cared about that, everyone thought it was cool and it's what attracted me to her in the first place. Over time, I was really proud of it because I felt she was very special.

One other thing you're going to have to live with, don't ever expect to hear I was wrong, or I'm sorry. The strong personality just doesn't let that happen. I very rarely heard either.

That being said, I suppose it depends on the severity. She acknowledged that she had some issues and didn't want medication, which I totally respect. It takes time, but you can learn to live with ocassional mood swings and the reward is having a very remarkable person in your life.

If you have a great connection, which is so very rare, you may want to consider giving it a go. You'll have to be a strong person though. I'll admit, I threw in the towell out of fear. Her step mother told me I should leave and that always stayed in the back of my mind until our last argument, which validated some of what she had told me.

I think it depends largely on how accepting you are and how much you value each other. I did alot of reading up on the subject and I hate the label of a disease. Perhaps it is, but I looked at it more of like a special personality and if she's everything you ever wanted, I'd say go for it. Others may say stear clear, but each situation is unique. It won't be dull or boring, that's for sure!
 hotrodius
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 108
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 12/28/2012 9:57:13 PM
It is the most dettached feeling and depending on the meds they are on, wich by the way have to be constantly monitored, you are lucky to stay sane. You find your self having to validate your self all the time. Some of them Hoard, lie , spend like crazy and most of all they will tell you they love you with all their heart but treat you like dirt. And you will find your self trying so hard to fix things, to make things right but it will only last for a day or so. The word that describes being with someone with bipolar dissorder is Dettached. All the love you can have for this person will never sink in to them you could be the perfect Gentleman and try till the cows come home. as one of the folks on this thread stated and she said it well be prepaired for a very very tuff road.
 cashleys
Joined: 8/10/2012
Msg: 109
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 12/29/2012 2:33:56 AM
There are millions of people with mental health issues, substance abuse issues, and much more. Bi-polar has 3 levels. I would research them. Someone saying bi-polar can vary on the issues. Bi-polar is quite common, but get's put into the more serious catagories. They can be bi-polar but also have other added problems. The illness also varies depending on the person. Just because that is labeled does not mean they are like other people with it. It is complicated to know exactly what side affects each person exhibits. I would also want to know if they have been actually been diagonist by a doctor or self proclaimed.

Mood disorders can be mild or severe and is complicated because besides that medical condition, people are all different with different base personalities.
I hear so much wrong information about this from people, labeling just 'bad behavior" as a mental condition, when in actuality they could be doing drugs, drinking which causes mood swings also or just going through a rough time

Sometimes when someone is just confused or change their minds they get labeled with some mental problem. Women also have hormonal swings which can seem mental as we all know. Can be PTSD and many things the person is going through so best not to label a serious mental condition on someone unless a doctor has said they were, and even they can be wrong. Mental health issues deal with the brain and we still know very little about it.

We are complicated humans, even without mental problems we get upset, depressed, sad, happy, change our minds quickly and much more. A true- bi-polar mental condition takes a professional to really make that determination.
Before you make a blanket statement you should read up and educate yourself on the differences and not label person too quickly.
Understanding illnesses is always something people should look in to instead of hearing all the wrong information out there.
Mental health issues in our society have long been treated as scary and to be hidden. That is because people simply aren't not educated on them.
 hotrodius
Joined: 6/15/2008
Msg: 110
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 12/29/2012 6:12:09 AM
Any person that has been with someone that has Bipolar 1,2, or 3 should do research on the dissorder and find out what kind of meds the person is on. As far as your comment about a blanket statement ? it would be hard pressed to think that any person that is in a loving relationship and a person who truly wants the relationship to work , would not do their due dilligence to find out if in fact the person is being forthrite ? how was their past how do they get along with family and friends and by looking at all the information on their illness it will give you a clear understanding of who and what they are. No one person is the same, but according to all the documentation on the illness all the books and doctors cant be wrong. And yes if they have combined illnesses that can changer the dynamics. I have also read that their are some folks in the medicle field that are very clever in telling their doctors things about their illness in order to get certain drugs the one drug that i have red up on is Adderal Not good ! most of these poor souls have to take lots of pills and all pills have side affects. Most people that get involved with one of these folks get a very good education quite quickly.
 beachluvr78
Joined: 8/28/2012
Msg: 111
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 12/29/2012 6:30:54 AM
If anyone has watched that Teen Mom show on MTV, you're familiar with "Janelle," one of the Teen Moms. She is bi-polar. She is a raging nutjob. Do you really want to deal with that???? One minute she's screaming and cursing, the next minute she's applying for a job at a daycare and lying to the employer, saying "No I never yell. I have a lot of patience." In the next scene, she's screaming and hitting herself in the head, jump to the next scene and she has taken off in her car with her druggie boyfriend and she has stolen her mom's credit card.
 nirvanawithu
Joined: 12/12/2012
Msg: 112
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 12/29/2012 8:25:22 AM
EXACTLY!!! That's the word, Detached.

You'll find yourself constantly trying hard to "fix" things for them to make them happy. Even if you do, it lasts just a day or so then it's completely forgotten. Seems like you do wind up driving yourself crazy just trying to make them happy because something else will come up again soon. They'll tell you they love you more deeply than anyone else, yet you'd be lucky to get so much as a Christmas card. I wouldn't say they treat you like dirt necessarily, but in the relationship it's going to be all about them, not so much about you...
 cashleys
Joined: 8/10/2012
Msg: 113
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 12/31/2012 12:46:45 AM
Beachluvr. I have to say that is not bi-polar behavior that most of the people with this mental illness exhibit, so many people label a person with just bad character or other behavioral problems as a mental illness. AND it -IS a TV show
Bi-p0lar is not normally violent like that. The tv teen might be bi-polar but that isn't ALL of the problem. There is also 3 types of bi-polar and people need to distinguish them as separate problems. There are many people with Anger problems that does not mean they are mentally ill or -bi-polar.

Take away the illness and then you are left with the person of which can still have bad behavior. Not all people that are mean, violent, throw tantrums and selfish, lie, cheat and steal have mental issues that meet the actual diagosis of the illness.

People should learn and educate themselves on mental illness before making a blanket statement and begin the understanding of the actual differences of the illness and that people with the illness are individuals.

If any of you remembet the move "Beautiful Mind" he had schizophrenia, saw people, he choose not to take medicine because it has serious side affects and the lives of those people are often far worse when taking it. So far they have not come up with medications that allow the person to feel good, but instead often make their life empty and worse than the illness. He did many amazing things in his life., in spite of his schizophrenia. There are many factors that affect the different illnesses because each person is unique. Just as with cancer, or any illness it affects the person in varying degrees.

One day maybe they will know more about the brain, it still is a great mystery in many ways. Our Health care system has not spent the money to find solutions and most health insurance do not treat it as they would another devastating disease. Because there is no test like you could take like you would if you had another illness there is still a big unkown.

I hope one day people will understand that mental illness is as unique as the individual is- some things- yes, are similar with the depression and the hypo mania but it does not mean they are dangerous or act like the teen you mentioned. I also have seen some use their illness to get away with just bad behavior and blame it on the illness. Although they have a mental problem, they still make choices. It's not like they have no understanding of what they are doing.
 JJTall
Joined: 11/25/2012
Msg: 114
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 12/31/2012 2:35:27 AM
My ex gf of 3.5 yrs was bi polar and I wouldnt wish that on anyone. Shed go from euphoric highs, to downright depressing lows. Often times, I'd have to calm her down and after a bit of time, she'd be ok, but the slightest little thing often set her off. I got sick of dealing with it. Thankfully, Ill never have to deal with her again. She has 2 kids with someone else, and eventually it will rear its ugly head again. Im just glad I wont have to be the one to deal with it again.


Stay away if you can.
 beachluvr78
Joined: 8/28/2012
Msg: 115
Can Anyone Relate to Dating a Woman who is Bi-Polar?
Posted: 12/31/2012 5:20:03 AM
cashleys, I am not labeling the Teen Mom bi-polar. She was diagnosed with it, which was revealed on the show. She takes medication for it, but by her own admission, she goes off the med frequently.
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