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 shy2anne
Joined: 2/27/2009
Msg: 239
looks or profile, what attracts you first?Page 12 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
well, of course, a photo is all you get sent at first, then you have to click on that to actually read the profile - if they have one. so i can't say i am "attracted" by a profile, cause you don't see that right away. but i've read a profile or two that were pretty good.
i've never initiated a message, so i can't answer that.
but i will admit, if i don't like the pic, i don't usually read the profile. i am talking about pics i get sent where the guy looks like zztop (you have to be old to remember them) or some reaaally weird photos, where they guys is making a twisted face or wearing a hat and shades so you can't tell what they look like, or looks like a drag queen or a crazed, hillbilly from "deliverance".
i can hardly believe some people would post a pic like that.
i respond to a photo first, then if the profile "fits" and they message me, i reply.
 5IntheSinBin
Joined: 3/27/2011
Msg: 240
looks or profile, what attracts you first?
Posted: 9/21/2012 4:58:22 PM

^^^ thank you shy2anne, when i say its all about the looks first then the profile, i get trashed by the women on here, lets see if they trash you?? ITS ALL ABOUT THE LOOKS period! your not a hunk , than no man has a chance on here, the women wont bother reading a profile if you dont look like a hunk, thanks for being real so others can see its not only me that say this.


I've read from a number of posters that putting up fake profile pics of a truly attractive man is the only way women will actually initiate. What does that say about shallow?
 Sciencetreker
Joined: 2/13/2012
Msg: 241
view profile
History
looks or profile, what attracts you first?
Posted: 9/21/2012 7:37:43 PM
Looks is the front door. A great smile is number one....a slightly sexy photo is also a door opener (business suit,with legs crossed...short black evening dress, etc...women don't understand how big of a turn on this is to most guys...in a positive way. We all want 'the nice girl' who has that behind-closed-doors sexy side.

The exit door. No effort in the profile. A couple of fluffy satements. This woman is used to being chased and catered to. I want to read some details, enthusiasm, a snippet of wit.

I disagree with most woman wanting the handsome guy. They want a decent guy...well groomed, fit, nice teeth. All things we guys have control over in life. A nice photo in a shirt, brushed hair, big smile shows effort...it shows 'we get it'.
 mizeat
Joined: 7/30/2012
Msg: 242
looks or profile, what attracts you first?
Posted: 9/21/2012 9:21:51 PM

I've read from a number of posters that putting up fake profile pics of a truly attractive man is the only way women will actually initiate. What does that say about shallow?


Who cares. Let them be shallow. You aren't going to propose to those types of clowns are you?

Notice how the other thread "conveniently" got deleted?

Either chicks who don't want to REALLY see dudes getting ideas and actually getting numbers leaving them here to b1tch all alone on the forums while the attention they get on here dwindles to almost zero or POF mods decided "It's against the 'rules'" Which to me whould suggest they want fools to stay on here to keep clicking pages for life generating more advertising money.

You just have to laugh at the nonsense of all of it.
 mizeat
Joined: 7/30/2012
Msg: 243
looks or profile, what attracts you first?
Posted: 9/21/2012 9:26:51 PM

^^^ thank you shy2anne, when i say its all about the looks first then the profile, i get trashed by the women on here, lets see if they trash you?? ITS ALL ABOUT THE LOOKS period! your not a hunk , than no man has a chance on here, the women wont bother reading a profile if you dont look like a hunk, thanks for being real so others can see its not only me that say this.


LMAO. So you expect to have anyone and everyone just be attracted to you so you can have your pick of the litter. Special Breaking News bulliten: Not everyone will be attracted to you, me or everyone else.

You MAKE it work for you regardless. Unless "making it work for you" is some sort of agenda you love to keep promoting.

If it's so "shallow" like you claim. What are you doing here? Close your account since you "know" everything and have "proven" it to yourself. Or are you just here to get more company for your misery? Hmmm...
 5IntheSinBin
Joined: 3/27/2011
Msg: 244
looks or profile, what attracts you first?
Posted: 9/22/2012 1:00:09 AM


If it's so "shallow" like you claim. What are you doing here? Close your account since you "know" everything and have "proven" it to yourself. Or are you just here to get more company for your misery? Hmmm...


Misery deserves company and no, I am not misquoting that idiom: Instead, I am saying it's good to have these lamentations on here, like the kind I post. Us eternal loners deserve a little commiseration, dammit. All you genetically favored folk don't know the half of it. The community of us sub-average looking folks should band together for support.
 thepigofyourdreams
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 245
looks or profile, what attracts you first?
Posted: 9/22/2012 1:41:01 AM

1. Hot guys want to believe they have "great game" because it is a bigger ego boost to believe they have magic "swagger/confidence/charm" or whatever you want to call it, than just accept that their looks did 85% of the work for them.


I have never claimed looks don't help, but they aren't everything, and as I've said time and time again, body language can make or break a person. There are many "average" looking guys who completely shoot themselves in the foot with horrible body language, and it makes them look less than average. (walking with their head down, poor posture, never smiling, constant scowl, hands in their face, nervously shaking their leg, making no effort to speak to anyone, sitting in the back of a building isolated from everyone, etc.)

How the hell can you expect a woman to approach you if you don't LOOK approachable? How can you expect a woman to perceive you as a FUN guy if you don't carry yourself as one?
 motownmaniax
Joined: 8/13/2006
Msg: 246
looks or profile, what attracts you first?
Posted: 9/22/2012 2:47:30 PM
OP, obviously looks because most only "see" the thumbnail pic first, not the profile. If you like the pic chances are you click it and read the profile.
 brich11
Joined: 3/15/2012
Msg: 247
looks or profile, what attracts you first?
Posted: 9/23/2012 8:37:17 PM
For me, its a look. Not a hot look but a look that seems sincere. A simple paragraph with some basic facts or preferences is plenty for me to decide to send a note or not. In my opinion the longer the "about me" the less I am interested.
 OldfashionedClass
Joined: 8/28/2012
Msg: 248
looks or profile, what attracts you first?
Posted: 9/27/2012 7:47:27 AM
Height and LOOKS!!!!!
 OldfashionedClass
Joined: 8/28/2012
Msg: 249
looks or profile, what attracts you first?
Posted: 9/27/2012 7:50:06 AM
That's because this site doesn't have ANY good looking, tall, intelligent, truthful men!!!!
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 250
view profile
History
looks or profile, what attracts you first?
Posted: 9/28/2012 2:27:03 PM
It's kind of a trip to me that it's a thread like this one where you remember that there are too many women who can be quite shallow and self-defeating. They wouldn't know an intelligent, truthful, good looking man if they saw one.
 Marcia_77
Joined: 7/10/2012
Msg: 251
view profile
History
looks or profile, what attracts you first?
Posted: 9/28/2012 8:52:51 PM
1. Looks
2. Profile
 thepigofyourdreams
Joined: 2/23/2012
Msg: 252
looks or profile, what attracts you first?
Posted: 9/28/2012 9:03:13 PM

I get alot of emails from guys who never even read my profile. I am sure we are all guilty of being attracted to a hottie or someone really attractive yet if there is no personality what good is the package without substance? A profile can't tell the whole story as we all have found out. Some are honest and some are not. Most are not. What makes you email someone? looks or profile?


For me personally, I must say it's the profile themes I'm attracted to first.

If I see a profile with the roses or candy hearts background, it's a turn-on. But if I see the beach background, I'll click away without even checking out the rest of the profile.

It's a total red flag.
 DevilfromToronto
Joined: 9/23/2012
Msg: 253
looks or profile, what attracts you first?
Posted: 9/29/2012 12:09:08 AM
none of them, I roll my dice !
 ch33kyg1t
Joined: 9/25/2012
Msg: 254
looks or profile, what attracts you first?
Posted: 9/29/2012 12:34:06 AM

That's because this site doesn't have ANY good looking, tall, intelligent, truthful men!!!!


you obviously don't own a mirror if you think you are attractve in any way shape or form. sorry to inform you
 BeingaLady
Joined: 11/18/2010
Msg: 255
looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 9/29/2012 2:04:07 AM
true, first impression is always the looks
 anunu
Joined: 10/21/2009
Msg: 256
view profile
History
looks or profile, what attracts you first?
Posted: 9/29/2012 8:57:25 AM
I am not superficial, but there has to be some kind of attraction there! I always look at the pics first and then read over the profile to see if anything interesting jumps out at me.
If there is nothing there, I move on. I can't stand profiles that just say "ask me later" or "I'm a great guy"
 drinkthesunwithmyface
Joined: 3/27/2012
Msg: 257
view profile
History
looks or profile, what attracts you first?
Posted: 9/29/2012 9:42:21 PM
I think we have to realize why we shouldn't feel bad about looking at a pic first -

To read or write or speak or listen to spoken or written language...is to use a form of communication which requires a (relatively) tedious linear chain of one-by-one word-symbols to say or hear anything. But to look at something with your eyes, you receive many parallel streams of information at the same time. You can look at something and instantly know what it is, but it would take a while to hear that thing described in words.

Imagine if you could "look" at who someone is on the 'inside', take a picture of it...but you had to describe in words what they looked like. Then imagine that this dating site had the pictures of everyone's character, personality, hobbies, interests, etc, as the pics and so then the thumbnails of everyone's profile...but in the written part is the only way you could tell what you looked like, or find out what the other person looked like, on the outside. We would always look at the pics first (of their 'inside') and then read the description of their outside physical appearance if we were interested from the pics. We would do this only because it makes sense. The purpose of search result thumbnails is to give any form of info that can be abbreviated or compressed. And this is what happens. This is how it works. And why it works this way.

So I wish people would stop completely misunderstanding this whole subject. We need to stop thinking about it the wrong way, and we need to stop feeling like we should feel guilty for looking at someone's appearance, or for looking at it first before the written part. Wanting someone to be physically attractive according to our view is not "shallow" or "superficial". That's downright ignorant. Even caring ONLY about someone's appearance still cannot be called shallow or superficial. That's a mis-use of those words...a misuse which is really there only to negatively stigmatize something that isn't a bad thing at all. "Superficial" would just mean being pretentious...seeming like someone you're not. And "shallow" would just refer to what methods you use intellectually in deciding who someone is - for example: You think it's shallow to only care for someone's looks? No it isn't. That's just a choice someone makes...to only care about looks. It's dumb to call it shallow though. Shallow should only mean that someone is being dumb in how they decide who someone is = if you had no picture of a person, and only talked with them over the phone or emailed with them, not knowing what they looked like, but you decide that they must look a certain way because of their conversation...THAT would be shallow. That's exactly the same as assuming that a person must be a certain way on the inside just because they're physically attractive. THAT's what shallow is. Not only caring about physical looks...but deciding character traits about a person just because of their looks.

anunu: I agree. I can't STAND profiles that hardly say a thing and say "if you want to know, just ask" or any form of that. The act of me looking at a profile is me asking for that basic initial info. I'm not going to the trouble of emailing a hundred women to ask for what I should have seen in the profile. That was the purpose of the profile. If you can't write what should be in your profile, then you're a waste of my damn time.
 daysleeper5
Joined: 11/6/2009
Msg: 258
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History
looks or profile, what attracts you first?
Posted: 9/29/2012 10:47:48 PM
Online dating is the backwards version of real-life dating which is looks first and personality second. On the computer, we end up connecting mentally with our words and then hoping that there will be a physical connection on the first date. This is a rarity for a lot of people. Which is why real-life dating has a much higher success rate than its online dating counterpart. When Match says in their commercial that 1 in 4 relationships start online, they don't realize that's actually a terrible statistic. 25% is nothing to brag about, IMO.
 justdeb1111
Joined: 8/12/2012
Msg: 259
looks or profile, what attracts you first?
Posted: 9/30/2012 2:29:05 AM
Neither looks or profile--I look at forums posts and then the "history" of threads. If I like what I am reading, if I'm intrigued, provoked, enlightend or amazed I will message him most of the time.

If his posts cause all of the above then I'm ashamed to say I will read, smile and watch for other posts, but not message him. Too intimidated :P
 DomG79
Joined: 3/12/2011
Msg: 260
looks or profile, what attracts you first?
Posted: 10/1/2012 3:45:48 AM
Looks, since all you see at the top of the screen is little pictures. I click on the ones I like, then I read their profile. Isn't that what most people do?




 anotherfish111
Joined: 8/19/2012
Msg: 261
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History
looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 10/1/2012 9:02:54 AM
I must admit, I am a visual person. Alot of Men are! I love a woman who takes the time and takes pride in herself.
That tells me about her self esteem and confidence level, before reading her profile. So a nice, confident photo says alot. ( women who show lots of clevage and sexy poses and then states, in their profile: "I want a man who will love me for more that my looks" ?) I say ... Your intentions = your results."Don't put out the cheese if you don't want to catch a rat" Don't get me wrong, I love a great Boob shot, short dresses, sexxxy stuff like that. Just be honest with it. You will have so much more fun and meet more honest people, by being honest with you photos.
 LovelyisDeedee
Joined: 8/27/2012
Msg: 262
looks or profile, what attracts you first?
Posted: 10/1/2012 2:07:08 PM
Looks and height! I like tall men.
 TraveliciousGuy
Joined: 9/17/2011
Msg: 263
looks or profile, what attracts you first?
Posted: 1/18/2013 1:10:36 PM

There are people like me (surely I cant be the only one), who send messages to ladies who dont display a picture,


No, you're not the only one. I have done the same.

And don't call me "surely"[sic]. :)
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