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Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 76
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looks or profile, what attracks you first?Page 2 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
The looks make me click on the profile

The profile will make me want to write something.

or not.
Joined: 7/14/2007
Msg: 77
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looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 11/4/2009 10:58:35 AM
Does the ability to craft a witty or otherwise engaging profile realy promise anything in the way of a great personality or even more important,any valuable personality traits such as honesty,loyalty,ect...aside from picture fraud which does occur here how does one know who actually wrote a profile ? some web sites offer profile"tips" and coaching on how to write a "successful" profile...while i agree that looks are not everything and are superficial does being witty and charming guarantee anything ? are not most con men witty and charming ? if the personality is always the way to go how come so many men and women say the same things like "they didn't used to be that way" or "they were not like that when i met them"....perhaps there are no guarantees of anything no matter which way you go ?...if we are going to slam all the pretty people and judge them to be all bad why not the con artist and B.S'rs,liars and deceivers as well.
Joined: 6/26/2009
Msg: 78
looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:46:38 PM
I always read the profile. If I like the photo and the profile is the deal braker. Looks only account for so much. A woman could be drop dead georgous and as dumb as a brick and i really dont want to waste my time there. When the looks arent all there but the profile is what im looking for then a send a msg. Then you have those women who have the looks and the brains but are only looking for the big bucks "gold Diggers" i dont waste my time there either. I just would like to me and not have to worry about all the crap women put guys through. If you are looking for prefection sorry. There are a lot of really good guys out there that just dont get the chance because women want all that and a cup of tea. lighten up ladies. try something different you may be supprised.
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 79
looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 11/4/2009 1:53:17 PM
The picture is usually what makes you click or not (ATTRACTION IS A MUST - for moi). And then I read the profile (although some will type what they think the opposite gender wants to "hear"

If he's piqued my interest, I write........even if it's just to give him a compliment (assuming he's geographically too far for me.....:-(.......
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 82
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looks or profile, what attracts you first?
Posted: 7/10/2011 4:58:37 AM
Oh, bollocks. Humans are just like the other creatures of this planet. If you study ANY non-human behaviors, you will see again and again, that all mating starts with VISUAL attraction and labeling, and is then FOLLOWED by other considerations.

Here in a dating site set up, where one can look without fear that someone will PHYSICALLY approach you in response to your gaze, men and women alike look at the pictures, and then either jump directly to trying to communicate, or they read the profiles first, and THEN ignore them (if the pic is hot enough).

Yeah, sure, in REAL LIFE, they don't HAVE the information on your profile available to them to be able to reject you right away, but so what? Are you going to delude yourself that because you met a woman on the street, and she doesn't know YET that you secretly kidnap mail carriers to use as slaves, that she wont reject you JUST as fast once she finds out? Do you actually think that meeting you in person, that they wont mistake something about your visual appearance and reject you in error?

 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 83
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looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/10/2011 11:48:23 AM
Well the picture is the first thing you see, so obviously looks are what is going to draw you in. I think initial physical attraction is important. After all, no matter how nice of a person someone is, there is no relationship potential if you are not attracted to them. BUT, I do always read the profiles. Personality is what keeps me with someone in the long run.

^^^Yep, I agree. The picture is the first thing I noticed when doing searches. Then I clicked to read profiles of those that caught my attention. That's how I met the first guy I dated from an online profile. The guy I'm with now got my interest by sending me a message before I even seen his photo or profile. I definitely checked out both his photo and profile before writing to him. The dating site didn't allow non paying members to message so I had to decide if he was worth joining for.
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 89
looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/10/2011 6:06:05 PM
Pitch Blease said:

I changed my profile recently because most don't read it. Granted it was close to War and Peace, I actually had to shorten it, but now I just have a generic profile of cliches. I'm trying to blend in for the masses.

I remember reading your profile once, a long time ago, because of a well-written forum posting. Not interested in girls, so don't get me wrong. I was just blown away by the profile! It was awesome! But I'll bet it was a little intimidating.

On the topic at hand...
I used to post a picture when I was on-line dating and was constantly being contacted by guys. Since I got off the dating site and only do forums I have removed my photo. No-one hardly bothers me now. People DO look at pictures. It does matter.

I myself must lay claim to being shallow. I was talking to a rather nice man for several weeks when he sent me his picture, and let me tell you, I was really disappointed. In myself and in his looks. He really did look like a hillfolk man who ate goats (whatever that may bring to mind). Sigh........
Well...then I found out he was still married (separated) and I had to tell him to contact me after he gets the divorce. It really was a convenient excuse wasn't it?
I AM Soooo Shallow! And rather ashamed to admit it. If he had been totally fine I would have REALLY been bummed to have had to send him away.

Well, I may be a bit shallow, but at least I have some morals too.
Looks attract me first. The profile keeps me looking.
Joined: 11/5/2009
Msg: 91
looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/10/2011 8:55:23 PM
as a person who is blind.... and who has no vision at all.... profile.... I can't see their pics.... so for me it would have to be profile....
Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 93
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looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/10/2011 11:12:46 PM
Ahh the profile turn offs...

It seems that almost all the profiles of women in my region are really generic. There's simply nothing to write about. I guess the guy is supposed to come up with something to write about... but there's nothing there. And since simple messages like 'hi' aren't generally liked well... pass. To be creative and personal in a message requires some info to use that is at least unique to the person. I suppose there is commenting on their photos but that hasn't worked the once or twice I did although I kept it nice and non-sexual. Maybe that's the problem:)

The ones looking for a 'nice guy, honest guy, good guy' are just telegraphing to me that they pick guys that aren't nice, honest, or good as the case may me. I'm not interested in reforming their outlook on men. Been there. Done that. Not doing it again.

But you've left one type off... the profile that is nothing but a list of requirements for a guy. By the time I've read through them I have no interest, even though I meet these requirements more often that not. Why not write? Because that's probably not what she's looking for or it is and there's another list of untyped stuff that I'm sure to be lacking one little qualification or another resulting in summary rejection anyway! :)
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 96
looks or profile, what attracts you first?
Posted: 7/11/2011 7:37:29 AM
Nobody knows if what someone writes is true or not. The only way you get to know someone is to meet them and just have a chat.

Let me get this straight: the contention is, that you can lie in *writing* but you CAN'T lie when speaking? Puh-leeze. . . . And ya, I've been involved with someone so dyslectic that he would be unable to even write a profile. And that lasted two years. In fact, when I met him, we needed his brother to translate because his Southern WV accent was so heavy I could only understand about every fifth word he said. Thing is: he looked like a small George Clooney, lol! AND was a great lover. . . .

Flip side, I've had *very* good luck online. And often *without* pictures at all. Trooth is, given my druthers, I'd *prefer* not to have pictures right up front ~~ One starts forming ideas based on the pictures that can be terribly untrue. The poor perp is then expected to live up to your dreams of what he/she looks likes "means." And that goes both ways -- I've tended all my life to shy away from extremely good looking men. Had I had his picture, one of my really great friends never would have been. He's monstrously gorgeous, and I prolly never would have said word one to him.

And that said: people ARE exactly who they ARE. It's really pointless and a waste of time and energy to start delineating who YOU think they SHOULD be.

May the Force be with ya'll. (where's that light saber icon?)
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 97
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looks or profile, what attracts you first?
Posted: 7/11/2011 10:51:42 AM
If I'm not attracted based on the photo, why look further (unless I'm only looking for a friend)? If I'm attracted or it's unclear based on the main photo, I'll look deeper. Hopefully there are more photos, but often the attraction still isn't clear. In all cases of potential attraction, I'll read the profile, and far more often than not will exclude someone because of what they say, how they say it, or (sometimes) fail to say about a topic they've raised.
Joined: 9/23/2009
Msg: 99
looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/12/2011 4:24:54 PM
Looks first...A profile can peak my interest for sure, but I'm not even going to read it unless I like the pic. I have to be physically attracted in order to continue the attraction on another level. It doesn't work the other way for me, I can't build a physical attraction based on a mental/intellectual connection. That being said, the physical attraction can fly out the window without said connection...
Joined: 8/26/2010
Msg: 102
looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/13/2011 8:41:55 AM
Profile here. My standards on looks are realistic. And when I do message a woman, I try to bring something up that I read in her profile so she knows I did in fact read it

Of course, I then ask her to tell me more about herself :P
Joined: 1/2/2010
Msg: 103
looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/13/2011 9:11:26 AM
You mean we are supposed to read the profiles too?

JUST KIDDING! I always read the profile ... all of it. I also try to match the photos with who and what he says he is, most often times, very telling. For instance, if his profile indicates that he works out 24/7 (yeah, right), and has the body of an athlete and is into skiing, swimming, and running -- blah, blah,blah and looking for same -- and then his photos (most of the time has just one), indicate the the beer belly shots of a man sitting in a chair tells me all I need to know.

No, that is not the type I'm looking for, in either case, just a point that most of us have posted. Looks do get the profile read but I'm thinking more so by the women and not so much by the men. I don't think very many read my profile and it's apparent when they don't comment on obvious clues within my profile. One man I emailed for awhile before we met, told me later, that he never even read my emails! Just wanted to meet from the photos!

(Oh, please guys. with the "I look ten, fifteen years younger" routine. You may think so, but let women decide for themselves. Most of us aren't stupid!)

Joined: 10/25/2007
Msg: 105
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looks or profile, what attracts you first?
Posted: 7/14/2011 4:56:46 PM

Fact of the matter is, the internet affords people the luxury to be who they want to be. IN person its very different.

Case in point, an email you can think about what you have to say, keep the lie going and refer back to previous emails. You have time to think to construct the lie and keep it going. In person, no such luxury is afforded so you quickly find out what they're about and whether they're a waste of time or worth a shot.

Simply it's just easier online. One can pretend to be anything they want in person too but limited to one's physicality. It just takes greater skill and different skills. Unskilled liars don't refer back to previous emails or think things out online or in person. The skilled who want to craft a good story have already crafted it before they set out. They have a complete fictional background already established, they know the character they are going to play. The example I am thinking of is undercover police work. They set up an entire fictional background for the role they are going to play.

Countless liars have gone into relationships fooling the other person the whole way and done it convincingly. It just takes being able to get into a role like a good actor.
Joined: 8/16/2007
Msg: 108
looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/19/2011 2:01:19 PM
Joined: 4/24/2010
Msg: 109
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looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/19/2011 2:39:54 PM

What makes you email someone? looks or profile?

When I was dating, it was definitely the profile that would inspire me to write. The initial attraction might be a picture or their headline, but a poorly written profile could turn me off a good-looking guy, while a well-written profile made an average looking guy more attractive
 Laha Math
Joined: 7/15/2010
Msg: 111
looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/19/2011 6:26:12 PM
A photo is worth a thousand words. Studies show highest number of items sold on eBay have 6 photos. Don't know of any studies on PoF. So, yeah, I look at the photos first and cull those for which I don't feel immediate chemistry. For those which remain I read the profiles. I go back and read between the lines. I count spelling and gramatical errors and give points for allusions to obscure 17'th century Scotch poets. I let my imagination flow, mostly erotic fantasies. I look for hidden messages and secret codes. I count words and letters and look for special numbers and sequences. I'm attracted to women who put lots of prime numbers in their letter counts. By then I'm exhausted and have to turn off the computer and go to bed.
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 113
looks or profile, what attracts you first?
Posted: 7/20/2011 11:04:19 AM
Belts, that is what does it for me. If I can't see her belt. I move forward.
Joined: 7/15/2011
Msg: 114
looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/22/2011 9:17:11 AM
I look at the pic first than go to the profile.I than check for the posibility of a match.If they have far different pursuits or don't smoke I don't waste either of our time.
Joined: 12/24/2010
Msg: 115
looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/22/2011 9:56:09 AM
Pics, of course.....then to the profile, not solely for what they wrote, but look at our lifestyle choices. As goatdriver said, if they don't sense in any contact.
Joined: 4/16/2009
Msg: 116
looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/22/2011 10:06:35 AM
I generally viewed the photos, interests and description.

If a guys profile was crap, it didn't matter how attractive he was.
Joined: 7/9/2011
Msg: 119
looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/24/2011 2:46:19 PM
I read the profile first to see if there is an interest, besides most pictures are out dated.
Joined: 4/29/2011
Msg: 120
looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/24/2011 3:59:25 PM
I read the profile and look at the pics, can't have one without the other.

I've noticed quite an obvious trend too....the less that is written, the more lazy the guy. These are the guys that sent the 'hey how r u?' messages or ones based entirely on your looks 'u r hawt.' I ignore these guys, they are giving me plenty of information just through that alone, whether they realize it or not (and they probably don't). Really how hard is it to at least skim the interests and ask something relevant?

The ones that have some substance and effort too them really stand out amidst the sea of generic profiles, those are the ones that catch my attention. Then again it depends what you are looking for.
Joined: 3/17/2011
Msg: 124
looks or profile, what attracks you first?
Posted: 7/28/2011 10:55:48 PM
I look at the pictures first, usually if there is a dog, something scenic or something I cant make out. Then I scan right to the bottom to see their mail preferences, then scan up again see their marital status, and interests.
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