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 *topchef*
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 1
What would you compromise?Page 2 of 2    (1, 2)
We have seen endless threads where people have simply stated they would not relocate, give up their financial security, dont want someone who wont embrace their ready made family, cant abide by religious differences or perhaps dont meet our expectations on a sexual level and many other deal breakers....so....What will you compromise in order to accommodate a potential life long love?

Is there anything we are willing to adjust to at this point in our life, or does any new love have to fit our ideal without our willingness to compromise. And is this what is holding us back....our unyielding nature and inability to bend in order to meet a potential partner halfway?
 2hi-iq-4u
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 2
What would you compromise?
Posted: 7/4/2009 8:37:37 PM
I am a deal maker. What do I get for the compromise?

(The compromise depends on the situation. I rarely give up anything for nothing )
 farscapeprincess
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 3
What would you compromise?
Posted: 7/4/2009 8:45:28 PM
I'm willing to compromise on a lot. I think it's important to be open to it at least. Otherwise, you may be giving up on a wonderful man.
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 4
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What would you compromise?
Posted: 7/4/2009 8:52:57 PM
I would have to know the person to make a decision like that, I don't have a pre-set plan that I gauge all men by.
 DocElffington
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 5
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What would you compromise?
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:16:47 PM
When you say that the world is full of compromises.........

I say that's why we have a world full of unhappy people!


In a court of law, that's like an innocent person taking a plea bargain!
 *topchef*
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 6
What would you compromise?
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:19:30 PM

When you say that the world is full of compromises.........


Who said this?

I contend that the world is NOT full of compromise and that is essentially why many find themselves still single. The point is...is there anything worth the compromise of a true and lasting love?
 readyornot57
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 7
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What would you compromise?
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:29:19 PM

I am willing to compromise on my height requirements as well as my weight requirements...Sex doesn't have to be 6 times a day


If it was 6 times per day, I would probably make the weight requirement.
 railrunner
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 8
What would you compromise?
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:29:44 PM
Hmmm,
The only thing I really would not give up in a relationship, would be my model trains.

I didn't spend the past four years on this 150 square foot railroad for nothing!

Luckily, I have never been asked to give up my trains. Something to the reasoning that if I am home in the evening running four or five of them at once, it may be a better thing than being out elsewhere.
 readyornot57
Joined: 1/19/2008
Msg: 9
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What would you compromise?
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:32:02 PM

What you compromise when you embark on an enterprise of love and generosity is your cynicism.


Wow! Good point!
 DocElffington
Joined: 1/20/2009
Msg: 10
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What would you compromise?
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:34:12 PM
Well, I gave up my passenger seat and part of my bunk space.

But, I saw a woman on here who posted a list of expectations.

I lost count somewhere after 150.

Now, obviously she has some unrealistic expectations.

But is it true love if you have to settle?


Honestly, my woman is more than I could have ever prayed for.

She fulfills my wants and needs out of her own desire.

Not because I ask her to. In fact, she meets my need before I can think to ask.

And I go out of my way to try to make her happy because I WANT to.

Honestly, I don't see compromise as the answer.

Rather, putting away one's selfishness and being a "giver" to your mate.

Breaking ties with men and women that, in a relationship, are in it for themselves and what they can get out of it.
 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 11
What would you compromise?
Posted: 7/4/2009 9:41:45 PM
No, I still want a man 5'11" to 6'4". Scorpio, loyal, intelligent, rugged and a smoldering pot of sensuality.

That's all I'll settle for. I'm all that and a bag of chips. Why shouldn't I get what I want?
 e*Musing
Joined: 10/23/2008
Msg: 12
What would you compromise?
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:08:30 PM
I'm always curious why people put such tight age ranges or other such random stuff on their filters...when I see these I wonder how flexible these people really are.

What would I compromise? Almost everything...for someone I loved.
How much? Hmmmmm, that depends on what's be asked to compromise.

 lbiker
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 13
What would you compromise?
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:13:40 PM
Hi golfgirl

For me,,if it was true love, I would move in a heartbeat. Sell all this stuff..Its all just stuff.
I can see that it is easier to stay selfish, hang on to the stuff, stay on Pof and then have a new thread,,why didn't I take my chance?????
I think it is a 50/50 chance. And at my age, why not try again? My kids are grown, my health is good, and I'm not getting any younger. SOOOOOO
I would not compromise an opportunity to feel True Love as long as the other person felt this way also.

Glad to see you Rock..

Lbiker
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 14
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What would you compromise?
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:34:20 PM
I've never really like the idea of compromise, because most can't make it work. What it ends up looking like is neither really getting what they want and supposed to be happy with it. Or, one giving up something so the other can get what they want. It's never worked out in my life over the long term.

The model I prefer is collaboration - where we each work to give the other their heart's desire. That seems to work well in my relationship now.

The tricky bit will be the day when we each want something that, in order to get it, means the other can't have what they want. I can't think of an example off hand, I suppose it could be that each needs the other to do something with them on the same day, and both are something that could only be done that day. In that case , I suppose we'd have to discuss which would take priority. I wouldn't want my partner to give something he wanted up for me... and he'd feel the same (or so he says, lol). If the choice is either/or, and they are both valid, then a compromise has to happen, there's just no other way to handle it.
 TimothyPaul001
Joined: 7/29/2007
Msg: 15
What would you compromise?
Posted: 7/4/2009 10:58:18 PM
Hi *golfgirl*,

Thanks for starting this thread. It will give us a chance to say something positive and advertise our willingness to be in a relationship.

Now to your question.

I've never made a list of qualities a woman must have before I would consider spending the rest of my life with her. Such lists are silly and counter productive. I know. I know. Every relationship "expert" and their brother says I should. Oh well. I think they're wrong. Men and women have been finding each other and having successful and unsuccessful relationships from the beginning of time and all without the help or harm of Dr. Phil and those like him.

To me caring about someone means accepting them as they are and respecting their ideas, values, and choices--especially those I disagree with. I don't see that as compromising. I see that as an essential ingredient in successful and happy relationships.

Of course we can want different things. And sometimes that means one of us will get what we want and the other will get the gift of giving. But in the bigger picture, we will continue to have what we want most of all, and that is the love, companionship, and support of our mate.

Sincerely,


Timothy Paul
 *topchef*
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 16
What would you compromise?
Posted: 7/5/2009 8:17:37 AM
Thanks for the responses, there are a few comments that really stood out and made me think.


What you compromise when you embark on an enterprise of love and generosity is your cynicism.

I think it is optimistic that we think we can collaborate effectively as a couple, I agree with this statement,


So when it comes to the heart I try to do everything I can to remain an empty canvas! Leaving little to nothing to be compromised.

Remarkable that one can remain so open, I would say that this is a very loving state...when we are too solidified in our ideals, we may push away someone we are trying to bring closer, I think this perspective is worth aspiring to.


Its all just stuff

I agree, stuff seems to get in the way a lot...attachments to our stuff hold us back from achieving our full potential and ultimately can get in the way of being with a worthy partner.


The model I prefer is collaboration - where we each work to give the other their heart's desire.

I dont really see collaboration as anything different than compromise, there is still a negotiation, but I guess the terminology sounds softer.


To me caring about someone means accepting them as they are and respecting their ideas, values, and choices--especially those I disagree with.

Well said!


What will you compromise in order to accommodate a potential life long love?
Nothing

Although I get your point, I would be surprised if somewhere along the way, you may find yourself doing just that, love is a powerful force that I suggest even you cannot resist, especially since you crave it with such fervor.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 17
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What would you compromise?
Posted: 7/5/2009 9:14:50 AM
If compromise includes relocation for the right person - I've done that. If compromise includes financial risks or downgrading lifestyle/career for the right person - I've done that.

What I won't compromise on are mutual attraction, mutual love, mutual trust, mutual supportiveness, kindness, integrity - and oh yes, great sex!
 *topchef*
Joined: 8/2/2008
Msg: 18
What would you compromise?
Posted: 7/5/2009 8:25:34 PM
I will not compromise the spiritual path I am on, my integrity, morals or the safety and well being of family, friends and the vulnerable.

Everything else could be up for grabs for the right partnership.
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