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 whatsyour20
Joined: 11/12/2007
Msg: 49
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i agree with boatPage 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
what about people who are new to the forums, and they werent on the thread last week.

Dont be snotty, just dont participate if you're not interested.
 Icestorm
Joined: 1/15/2007
Msg: 54
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Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 7/9/2009 3:52:50 PM
Mmmmm....maybe YOU were gone too long?
 bowlingfordates
Joined: 7/3/2008
Msg: 55
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Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 8/15/2009 1:00:31 PM
The length of the restroom break may not be the whole issue. The timing could have played a role as well. What if she got up and went to the restroom just after the check arrived at the table? Then she proceeded to stay in there for quite awhile. He could have assumed she did this just so she didn't have to pay and became irritated and left.

I do not agree with bailing out on someone without giving them an explanation. If you give someone a ride you are obligated to make sure they get home.(hopefully in one peice)
 LuvsLaughs
Joined: 4/14/2009
Msg: 59
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Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 8/15/2009 9:31:26 PM
Prior to going to the restroom, you weren't on your cell phone, were you? I heard it from a man that he left a woman sitting at the table because of that. I thought.. right on, dude.. you're on a date... and she isn't there... you may as well leave. (seen guys doing that too.) Otherwise.. don't know what to tell you... he should have just told you that you seem nice.. but he isn't feeling it. Nice to meet you... best of luck on your search. Smile.. seem sincere, even if she smells like dollar tree perfume. hahaha.
 Happily Ever...maybe
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 60
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Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 8/15/2009 9:58:40 PM
Its amazing what some people will do. It's such a childish thing, to just bail like that, with no regard for another person.

I had it happen to me too once, about 15 years ago. We had initially talked a few times, at length, on one of those phone dating lines (evidently I was a glutton for punishment then too!), and I went to pick her up on a Sat afternoon. We had decided to go to one of those outdoor clubs down by the river that were all the rage then, with sand volleyball, pig roasts, live bands etc. We sat there for over 3 hours, having a few drinks, laughing, listening to the music. She even went to the bathroom once, and I think I did too.

She excused herself to go to the ladies room again and I said OK. I'm sitting there, and I suddenly realize its been 20 minutes. They were having a tattoo exhibition inside, and she had mentioned she was interested in that, so I thought perhaps she was just window shopping on her way back. I went in and walked around looking for her, but no sign. So I went back outside to wait, and slowing having it dawn on me that she had bailed. I was replaying the day over in my head, wondering what had happened and where it went wrong, since it seemed like we were having a really good time. At that moment I feel someone tap me from behind, and I turn around to see a little person (I kid you not, it was like something out of a David Lynch movie!), and he tells me that so and so isn't coming back, and had asked him to tell me. Now I'm not sure if she knew this guy and was hanging out elsewhere in the crowd watching, or if he was just a stranger she had asked to relay a message. Either way, it was bizarre, and I was seriously pissed.

Here's where it gets even better! I walked outside to my car, only to find it had been towed! Where I had parked was a legal parking spot during the afternoon, but not later in the day, which of course I didn't know. I had to walk a mile and a half to the impound lot, and when I asked how much to get my car, they told me I had a few outstanding parking tickets from a few years before I needed to pay as well as the towing fee. It cost me almost $500, and as I drove home I could feel the steam coming out of my ears, and thought of all the names I was going to call this woman when I got home.

By the time I finally got there though I realized I was better off to have found out what kind of person she was sooner rather than later. I called and got her answering machine (big surprise), and I very calmly told her that what she had done was beneath contempt, and that I was sure karma would one day catch up with her and repay her in kind. It was actually a lot more satisfying leaving her that message almost dispassionately than the expletive-strewn tirade I had planned as I walked down the road to get my car.

The lesson for me...You live & you learn I guess. Some people just plain suck! But don't let them change your attitudes about all people.
 thwipp89
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 66
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Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 9/19/2009 11:14:52 PM
at least he showed up! i had a date set up, drove 25 miles in traffic and waited an hour past our agreed upon time and she never showed, so i split. she actually got mad when i told her how rude and inconsiderate she was and she said i should've waited longer- she said she showed but i doubt it. she never called and she had my number. what a *earmuffs*!

at least you got a free meal out of the deal. at least i saved myself buying a meal...
 javalover535
Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 69
Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 9/20/2009 2:49:59 PM
That is exactly what I do for a first meet. Leave to go to the rest room after we have been talking about 20 minutes and I have finished a glass of merlot.

And clearly tell my date.....this is her opportunity to call her friends....the police....the manager... even leave.... Or she may order me another glass of merlot! When I return, from the rest room if she is there and my glass refilled....awesome. If she is gone...awesome. (I imagine it would hurt for a few seconds...but I'll get over it)

Everyone need a window to escape without pressure...... it seems he could not handle the pressure. Count your blessings!
 winteragain
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 70
Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 9/20/2009 3:06:55 PM
pretty sure your cuteness was too much for him. i dunno man, i think it's kinda funny he paid for you and left. most mysteries are bad. it's always "who stole my car?" or "who threw that baby at me?" but now it's "who paid for my meal without asking anything in return?" thank yourself for being awesome Zoieflame
 open book
Joined: 11/6/2007
Msg: 71
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Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 9/20/2009 3:41:49 PM
You can never know what's going on in someone else's head. All early dating should be done with an open mind, a zen-like state of accepting what is without attachment to any particular scenario, no matter how normal. People find so many ways to be strange.
 Vannili
Joined: 7/8/2008
Msg: 74
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Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 10/18/2009 10:10:53 AM
Uh ! perhaps ,he saw someone that he knows,,,,, or bored/pissed of with your company, I have been tempted to do that to few of my dates but my breeding dictates me not to do it.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 79
Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 10/19/2009 5:44:45 AM
I think some people want to meet new people but really hate the conversation they have to have once they decide it's not a match, so they vanish instead.

What can ya do? You will meet all kinds of people online...at least he picked up the tab, he must have known it was the least he could do for chickening out.
 swampbuggy1
Joined: 8/29/2009
Msg: 80
Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 10/19/2009 3:05:50 PM
maybe try doin somthing else with your time
 radikal1
Joined: 7/4/2009
Msg: 83
Left me sitting at the table...
Posted: 10/19/2009 10:35:37 PM

And who could forget the nursing student who met me at Cracker Barrel for dinner, spending the entire ‘date’ coloring (yup, coloring…with Crayolas!) an anatomy book, talking about how much she hated men, and how her ex-husband committed suicide just a month earlier. Lucky **stard…


The chicks who hate guys, but date them, that's a walking dichotomy. Luckily I haven't had a bad POF experience. I even landed a testimonial, so yea, it's cool. As for the man hating chicks you can sit them straight real quick by saying, "Then why are we here?" Normally women who really hate men, want nothing to do with them. The others are just full of it.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 86
Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 10/21/2009 6:28:03 AM
If you find out early on that someone isn't interested who you've never met in person count your blessings - don't complain about how it happened. Just be grateful you didn't waste more time finding that out and move on.

It's always good to meet someone once briefly before spending a huge amount of time with them, as attraction will determine all else.

In fact, my friends and I have talked many times about the fact that we wish we could be invisible, or there was a way to see some of these guys in person without having to talk to them or meet them to decide a yes or no...I'm sure a lot of men wouldn't oppose this either. We'd never do it, but I've heard stories of people who have set that up.

I don't think most people who get stood up REALLY get stood up - the person more likely just sees them and doesn't stay. Or they are across the street in a coffee shop or in a back booth watching. I've heard it all.
 Brownlady1953
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 88
Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 10/21/2009 10:46:03 AM
I never go anywhere without my OWN: cell phone, motor vehicle, cash sufficient to pay for BOTH our meals....because I don't trust most men who don't feel "there is any chemisry" to do the right thing.

I'm sorry this happened to you; better than having a man "snap" and throw a drink in your face (it happened to me -- thank God it wasn't hot coffee).
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 89
Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 10/21/2009 11:55:05 AM
^^^OMG why would someone do that? That's just wrong.
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 90
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Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 10/21/2009 9:20:02 PM
That was rude, well good thing he paid for the check. Just when you think you have heard it all someone surprises ya and tells ya a new one.
 farscapeprincess
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 92
Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 10/22/2009 7:39:03 PM
OP, I'm sorry you had that experience and hope you had the money to cover the tab in case that spineless ass didn't pay it. Damn, you must've been gone awhile because usually it takes a few minutes to get the check and then process a payment. What did he do, throw some cash on the table while you were gone? I've been stood up, but have never had someone bolt on me while on a date. EEK! That's all time low. At least you found out what kind of man he is now rather than later. Too bad you can't out that jerk with his screen name for every woman to know so she'll never accept a "date" from him. I think that's against the rules.
 farscapeprincess
Joined: 4/28/2008
Msg: 94
Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 10/24/2009 8:59:36 AM
^^^^^ No, it wouldn't have been funny. The guy was already a coward for not being able to stick it out to the end of the date, but to stick her with his share of the meal would've made him a total ass wipe.

*I always compared to pay just 'cuz...but I never think I'll be ditched the moment I turn my back. OP, while you say you were feeling good with how the date was going, maybe there were clues that he wasn't enjoying himself as much as you.
 m14shooter
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 97
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Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 10/24/2009 2:55:33 PM
I have done the same thing to a date before but read the whole story before you slam me for it. She was cute and not very nice. Talked for a few minutes before we got to the table. Told me she had zero attraction to me and we might as well just get this over with. We ordered, I went to the bathroom, told the waitress to deliver my meal to the back section of the bar where I would be having a drink , give her the meal she ordered and put it on my tab. Waitress delivers her meal and she realizes I left and says great, now I have to pay for a meal I can't afford. The waitress replies he took care of that before he left because he didn't want to leave you hanging. He figured you would enjoy the meal better by yourself and he decided to get it over with since that is what you wanted.

Before anyone says I am a jerk for doing that I have had quite a few women pull the same stunt with me and leave me with two meals to pay for plus their drinks. At least she got her meal and drinks covered.
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 101
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Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 10/24/2009 7:46:21 PM
At least he didnt stick you with the bill. Some people do the most cruel and humiliating things to others instead of simply saying thank you for he evening, but due to some differences this relationship isnt going to work out. Two simple lines. But we all know both men and women are guilty of leaving someone high and dry in various ways. So always remember how it felt and make sure you dont put this on any one else, always give someone good reason why something cant continue if you decide to dump.
 sinlov
Joined: 2/25/2008
Msg: 102
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Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 10/24/2009 11:44:17 PM
Wow, wasn't aware this was going on. You'd think in this day and age people would
be brighter and more sophisticated than to just run off without a word. Jee...zzz
I think the more I look at these threads the more I am deciding to never go on a first date with someone who I don't know. Coffee or soda would do just fine. That assures both parties a quick exit or more later if there is chemistry.
 BLoNde__ANgeL
Joined: 9/20/2011
Msg: 107
Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 1/19/2012 7:57:26 AM
For a 1st meet, coffee, tea or soda, in a very public place that I've been to b4, that I know the location...I think the man that did this to the OP was rude, but at least he paid.

I don't think I've ever ditched someone, but there have been times that I probably should have

but now that I know better, I don't think it would happen to me again...cuz I won't put myself in that position...
 MyScreennameRox
Joined: 12/11/2011
Msg: 111
Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 1/19/2012 6:40:24 PM
I'm a noob so someone tell me, is it common practice on here for people to bump threads that have been dead for well over two years?
 jeep1127girl
Joined: 12/31/2009
Msg: 112
Left me sitting at the table, until the waitress said, he left..
Posted: 1/19/2012 8:27:45 PM
Well he left because you were just too good for him, thank god you didnt have to spend one more second with that selfish idiot.
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