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 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 104
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Anal Sex...he wants it, but I'm scared to tryPage 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)

First, never think of anal sex as something you will enjoy right away, the first time or maybe the tenth time.


Sorry, but I beg to disagree and I can say that from experience. If it isn't feeling good - and if it isn't feeling good by the *tenth*time* (good grief) - the guy is either doing something wrong or it just isn't her thing. Yeah, I had a *brief* moment when it hurt. The guy stopped immediately & let me relax, did not proceed until I was ready. This happened twice but the discomfort was momentary. I had a good partner who took it very slow and stopped the moment I needed him to. It was fantastic. Once you get into it, there's no going back.

And yes, I recommend The Surrender. And I agree with Toni Bentley that anal sex should be reserved for only the most sensitive lovers. Most men are not sensitive lovers and I wouldn't let most of them near my azz. If it hurts, they aren't doing it right. Make 'em stop. Now.
 ~rain~
Joined: 6/9/2007
Msg: 105
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Anal Sex...he wants it, but I'm scared to try
Posted: 3/22/2010 2:38:34 AM
You havent started a stupid post. It is something you are concerned about and there is nothing stupid about having concerns.

If you arent comfortable with the idea of anal.......DONT DO IT!!

You shouldnt be doing this to make anyone else happy but you!!

It is your body and you have every right and total control over what is being done to it.

If your boyfriend cant understand that, then he isnt worth your time!!

Now if the thought does intrigue you and you are considering it, then do your research! there is so much info on line that you have access to. Always protect yourself by knowing what there is to expect.

Anal sex can be an awsome enjoyable experience or it can be a horrifying one.

Everyone is different. and no one knows your body like you do!!
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 108
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Anal Sex...he wants it, but I'm scared to try
Posted: 3/22/2010 1:45:14 PM
You have to desire to have it, experiment with it, and be open to all the possibilities that exist with sex that way, and if not, you are setting yourself up for failure, pain, disgust, and a negative feeling towards it.

It takes two that are willing to try, going slow and talking about it as you do it, lube that makes it and the experience sensual, and once there, enjoying the experience.....

I would not do it to my lover, if she was not open to it, or resisted. I usually wait to be invited that way, and if the discussion comes up about trying it, I will help her relax enough to know that she is in charge, and will only get what she desires.

Pain is not needed at all, and will not be there if done correctly, and in my experience, most that enjoy it, ask for it often.......

cd..........
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 110
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Anal Sex...he wants it, but I'm scared to try
Posted: 3/22/2010 2:36:06 PM
I applaud your desire to try, and you are correct that for some, it just is not meant to be, and I have no problem with that.

May I suggest to you that you might try others ways to get you to where your might want to be with that excitement and desire? There are a number of toys out there that are available and in various sizes that can help you until you are ready for the real thing.

I have had lovers that liked the toys and reached many a climax and enjoyed sex using them. It can be very sensual to have vaginal sex while also using toys for the anal side. One can start very small and work your way up with lubrication to larger ones when asked to do that, and there are a number of beads out there that start small and work their way to a much larger size and the one receiving can let you know when they want you to stop.

Many times enjoying sex and using toys will meet the same needs desired as having anal sex with a penis. It all is open to experimentation, and I for one, would prefer you to feel good about it all, and get you to where we both want you to be, and it does not mean that I have to stick me in your ass........

The fact that you have tried it many times, means that you do have some desire in that area, but just not found the right way to get you off with no pain, and just extreme pleasure. Do not give up, and know that there are no limits to enjoying sex when with someone that is willing to share with you and help you get to where you want to go..............

cd.......
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 114
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Anal Sex...he wants it, but I'm scared to try
Posted: 3/22/2010 6:33:11 PM
I was not trying to be condescending at all towards you or anyone Annie. You never stated that you tried anal play, toys or any other forms of stimulation other than anal sex, and it was painful.

It is apparent to me that you have a problem with it, and that more than likely is as much mental as it is physical, but that is yours to own and deal with. No one fails if they prefer not to enjoy other forms of sexual pleasure, and we are not here to judge or mandate to others what they should or should not do. All I was stating were other ways to ease into something that may be stimulating, if that is what you wanted to experiment with.

Now, on a different note from you. Just because you can enjoy vaginal sex in any way shape and/or form, with nothing but good things and pleasure, does not mean that all other women can do that as well. Many do dry out as they age, some are very small and penetration does hurt them often, and some just do not relax and enjoy sex at all. You have within your own mind, stated one form of sex as being painful, but another as being the end all for everyone that does it that way........think about it.

I wish you the best with your experimentation, and I hope that your will mellow out some with your attitude about advice on here, because that is all I was giving.......advice with the limited information that I had.

cd............
 katty1981
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 119
Anal Sex...he wants it, but I'm scared to try
Posted: 3/23/2010 2:04:21 AM
i love anal sex but the trick is to go slow and dont jump straight in with any one make sure u trust them and go slow relax and the women to be in charge, it can be great
 ceastwood
Joined: 2/15/2006
Msg: 121
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Anal Sex...he wants it, but I'm scared to try
Posted: 3/23/2010 1:11:37 PM
god,,i have missed so much in my life,,boo hoo...
 marisia
Joined: 10/25/2008
Msg: 125
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Anal Sex...he wants it, but I'm scared to try
Posted: 3/27/2010 6:02:33 AM
Refering to msg 107 ANGLICO- USMC. I am appaulled and sickened. U cd hav asked for lube, said it hurt. you assaulted this girl, GBH, if not rape occured. left her bleeding and crying, you may have perforated her bowel. u ****ing lowlife. Yes ****ing lowlife. I hope this msg gets picked up by moderators and they see what i am refering too. I tried to report you but had problems. so Please, will others reading this either report this msg or msg 107 i am happy for you to quote my name etc. marisia.
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 126
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Anal Sex...he wants it, but I'm scared to try
Posted: 3/27/2010 7:40:23 AM

You on top, is probably best if he has no experience with it


I find it hard to relax when I have to support myself. Side lying is easiest for me. I need to be able to completely relax.

There sure is a lot of ignorance in these posts.

If you don't want to do it, don't. But don't make disparaging remarks about those of us who enjoy it. Most guys are too clumsy and impatient and are incompetent anal lovers. However, done well it is an experience like no other, transcendental. There is nothing better.
 marisia
Joined: 10/25/2008
Msg: 128
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Anal Sex...he wants it, but I'm scared to try
Posted: 3/27/2010 9:05:29 AM
he made it clear that his actions were to hurt the girl. Then left her crying and bleeding and relieved he didnt kill her. I didnt get the impression she agreed to that... We dnt kno if she said no or asked him tostop or wanted to, but was scared. ...He purposefully hurt her while commiting a sexual act whatever the law states on the fine details it is very wrong... We may have to agree to disagree, dnt want to highjack the thread...
 nakeddon
Joined: 7/26/2008
Msg: 129
Anal Sex...he wants it, but I'm scared to try
Posted: 3/27/2010 12:10:23 PM
just try it acouple of times. all i know is that some chicks LOVE it ..... are you one??
 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 136
Anal Sex...he wants it, but I'm scared to try
Posted: 4/10/2010 2:56:45 PM
misslady84, tell him, he does not need a woman if all he wants is to have anal sex...(lol). Anal sex is classless! But if you and he must, make sure your doushed good, you don't want him to make his willy change color and smell Use lots of lube and take it slow.
 tallshyman
Joined: 1/1/2008
Msg: 137
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Anal Sex...he wants it, but I'm scared to try
Posted: 4/12/2010 10:45:11 PM
Some women have anal sex so she can stay a virgin.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 140
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Anal Sex...he wants it, but I'm scared to try
Posted: 4/13/2010 7:20:26 PM

Also this is the best advice. I cannot live without this. You gotta buy it-I cant do anal with out it. Its not like normal lube-cos its got muscle relaxant in it and its cooling too. Smells of peppermint which keeps you feeling fresh. Now I sound like an ad! So thats how I dealt with it.

This is actually not good advice. Anything that numbs can actually end up causing you more harm. Pain is the bodies natural way of telling you something isn't right. If there's pain during anal (can't stress this part enough here!) then you aren't doing it right!

Ooops.. my bad. That product you posted isn't a numbing lube it seems... altho there's not a whole lot of information on that page you posted.

Still stand by what I said. Use a good lube.. but skip the ones that have a numbing agent in them. Would be far to easy to perforate the bowel and not realize it until it was too late.
 spark_in_the_dark
Joined: 12/9/2009
Msg: 141
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Anal Sex...he wants it, but I'm scared to try
Posted: 4/14/2010 6:40:37 AM
Wolf tx, I think you missed the part where she said "its not my fave thing."
She doesn't enjoy anal sex (meaning 'enjoying anal sex for the fun of it' as you put it), so participating in it isn't a controlling move on her part, it's actually generous of her to do something for him that doesn't enjoy rather than just flat out refusing to ever participate. And I'm quite certain her line about him being good was meant as a joke.
 no_1_bby
Joined: 5/3/2006
Msg: 142
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Anal Sex...he wants it, but I'm scared to try
Posted: 4/14/2010 7:08:44 AM

Also apparently for the same reason you shouldn't assume drinking alcohol first is a good idea as you are less aware of pain.

Georgie.. ONE drink can help relax you, and not a bad thing. Being drunk when you can hardly stand or see straight would be an incredibly bad thing.
 Big_fun_wave
Joined: 2/28/2009
Msg: 143
Anal Sex...he wants it, but I'm scared to try
Posted: 4/14/2010 3:47:43 PM
Mother nature really messed up by not puting taste buds on the head of the male penis Beacause then, unless you prefer safe sex only, men would never want to have anal sex. Unless they like the taste of shit...
 Brownlady1953
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 144
Anal Sex...he wants it, but I'm scared to try
Posted: 4/15/2010 9:52:56 AM
Only do it if you want to......or if the possibility of ending up with anal cancer somewhere down the line doesn't bother you...
 B Bear
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 145
Anal Sex...he wants it, but I'm scared to try
Posted: 4/15/2010 3:23:32 PM
First thing you need to know is how much does he know about it. Second would be that you need to remember what it was like when you first had sex.
When done correctly, you will have an orgasm maybe greater than you could imagine.
Don't be afraid to stop and try different positions. This could make an immense difference. No two people are built the same so you need (especially at first) to find the most comfortable angle. I can't stress this enough USE PLENTY OF LUBRICANT!
It is VERY IMPORTANT to start with something small (A finger) or a small toy/plug.
Exercise the muscle as much as possible graduating in size up to something slightly larger than him. If you follow these steps eventually you can work into my favorite and almost every woman I've done this with. Reverse Cowgirl making sure that he uses his hands to vaginally stimulate you simultaneously. If he is good with his hands and gental you will enjoy it. After all your enjoyment is just as important as his.
Have fun!
 B Bear
Joined: 5/19/2007
Msg: 146
Anal Sex...he wants it, but I'm scared to try
Posted: 4/15/2010 3:25:51 PM
That was just ignorant.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 147
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Anal Sex...he wants it, but I'm scared to try
Posted: 4/17/2010 5:28:42 AM
you know, i am 48, and getting close to 40,i have been in 3 long term relationship, all 3 where really good sexually, i do not think there is anything sexual i have not done
my first, and the only one that i married, loved anal sex, personally, i do not, i really do not even think about it, let alone find it a turn on
but we really loved each other, and that means going the extra mile to make that person happy, so i gave her what she wanted,i just pretended it was another part of her body
so if you love him, you should do anything sexual to make him happy,provided, he is doing the same for you, it is a two way street
 merelymortal
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 150
Anal Sex...he wants it, but I'm scared to try
Posted: 4/18/2010 12:28:01 AM
If you don't want to, then don't.
 johndoe67-1
Joined: 4/13/2010
Msg: 153
Anal Sex...he wants it, but I'm scared to try
Posted: 4/22/2010 5:25:53 AM

The anus was actually not made for that purpose anyway

Neither was the mouth, but a whole lot of people enjoy using it that way!
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 159
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Anal Sex...he wants it, but I'm scared to try
Posted: 5/4/2010 5:31:58 PM
^^^^^ This woman knows what she's talking about. Listen!
 arwen52
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 162
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Anal Sex...he wants it, but I'm scared to try
Posted: 2/6/2011 7:23:31 PM

Now, figure out whatever position works for the two of you... but it should be one that allows her control of penetration. Some suggest her on top so she can lower herself... I personally like doggy so I can push back on him at my own pace, but then he can take over later.


The one thing I'll disagree with is woman on top. I haven't tried it yet so I don't know if that's good or not, but I can't imagine being able to fully relax if I have to hold myself up. I've either been on my side or done it doggy style. Either is good for me.

He needs to understand if you need him to stop, he's got to do it *immediately*! Because when he hits those sphincters it can be sharply painful. But if he stops right away - I like to keep my hand on his thigh to signal him - you can relax, breathe. He needs to go s l o w l y. Lots of lube, more than you would imagine. Lots of foreplay, inserting a finger. Working up to it over several sessions could be good before you do the whole thing. I like slow, steady pressure - no pumping! Not until you've gotten all the way in, then start slow. Slow. Lube. Communication.
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