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 AUTHOR
 _jay_see_
Joined: 11/24/2007
Msg: 42
Whats up with all these VirginsPage 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
Maybe it has to do with their upbringing.

I had a pretty strict christian upbringing, which shaped me to be sexually repressed. Even though I completely abandoned it by the time I was 17, it took until I was 21 to just bite the bullet and see a hooker.

A Vietnamese friend of mine has been to a hooker once, but finds it difficult because of serious guilt feelings as a result of communist ideology being pumped into his brain since he was a kid.

I hope the next generation will be less f*cked than we are!
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 43
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 8/30/2009 11:44:28 PM
Why do other people care so much what others are doing?

Who cares if someone is a virgin. That is their choice.

That said, I'm yet to meet a well adjusted, attractive person over the age of about 22 or 23 who is still a virgin.

Being a virgin at that point really means having never been in love of never having been in a serious relationship.

At 23, if a person has still been dateless, there are other issues at play.

But one last thing. The virgins who act like by being a virgin they are better than everyone else... that shiz annoys me.

Probably because I used to be one of them. And it's such an incredibly ignorant attitude to have.
 NightHawk2005
Joined: 3/11/2009
Msg: 45
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 8/31/2009 1:20:19 PM

I here ya OP, I wont date a virgin because I don't want to teach someone things but especially at my age you shouldn't be a virgin and if I came across one I would be asking why this person is still a virgin.

If you are above the age of 20 you shouldn't be a virgin. Virginity is something to be cast away not to be held like some type of gift. I think some people worry a little too much about getting diseases or pregnant and it has turned them into paranoid people.


I disagree with that completely. Some people have good reasons for being a virgin. Just because you don't doesn't mean that nobody does. There's nothing wrong with being a virgin as long as you want.
 NightHawk2005
Joined: 3/11/2009
Msg: 47
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 8/31/2009 7:08:36 PM

there is not one good reason you should be a virgin past the age of 20, honestly I would be thinking something is mentally wrong with them like they have some sort of baggage they aren't letting go of that makes them so uptight about it that they don't have the ability to let go enough to allow someone to have sex with them.

Yes there are those that are not as fortunate and don't get the chance to be with someone in that respect but that can easily be fixed by seeing an escort.


There are several good reasons. One is religion. You might not think it matters, but it's very important to some people. Another is that some people only want to have sex with someone they truly love and they haven't found someone that they feel that strongly about. They don't want to lose their virginity to an escort.

Just because you don't see it as a good reason doesn't mean it isn't one. I am 21 years old, I am a virgin by choice and I am darn proud of that.
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 51
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 9/1/2009 12:38:42 AM
I was a virgin till I was 21... and I am glad I waited.

That said, I wish I had not had the superior attitude about it while I was. Looking back on that, it was kind of ridiculous and it shames me.

If I had had sex sooner, I know that I would have been a lot less uptight about dating.

The thing about being a virgin, is the older you get without being de-virginized, the bigger of a deal sex becomes...

When in actuality sex is just another form of compatiblity - albeit an important one.

Until I had sex, looking back, I honestly do not believe I was ready or capable of a functional adult relationship.

And after marrying a girl I took the virginity of, I would never date another virgin girl again either. A person cannot truly know who they are or what they like if they're still a virgin. It's impossible.
 Deerclan
Joined: 8/5/2009
Msg: 55
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 9/1/2009 2:10:20 AM
"its like findind a VHS casset , lol"

Actually it's like finding an *un-opened* VHS cassette. Or an un-opened bottle of wine. Or .........

IOW, learn to look beyond the facts & contemplate all the delicious possibilities.
 NightHawk2005
Joined: 3/11/2009
Msg: 61
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 9/1/2009 11:02:51 AM
Again, that's not true. I can open myself up emotionally and I do it in my closest friendships. I haven't found a girl I've dated who's been worth opening up to, maybe I'm just better at picking friends than dates. But to suggest you can't have emotions if you haven't had sex is just ludicrous.
 TedJMill
Joined: 7/6/2005
Msg: 64
view profile
History
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 9/2/2009 6:02:24 AM

So for all you virgins out there, I say, good on you. It shows a whole lot of self control and I say bravo. When the time is right, it will be amazing for you.


Though in my case, I'm a 51-year-old male virgin, and it didn't take self-control at all, just following my natural inclination. With my last girlfriend, we lived together for months, slept in the same bed, were talking about marriage, and I'd say I loved her. But while I liked cuddling together in bed, I never wanted to actually have sex with her; the whole thing just didn't appeal to me.

And judging by my inclinations and past experience, I'd say that the time will never be right for me.
 NightHawk2005
Joined: 3/11/2009
Msg: 67
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 9/3/2009 12:41:59 AM

If you go to this site you will find practical steps in learning how to take calculated risks for your own well being.I hope you find yourself a "worthy" female to take some risks with.....you OWE it to yourself man!


I hope I do too, because that means I've found someone who is worth marrying and I've married her. That's what I mean by worthy. There is no girl in this world who is worth losing my virginity to before she becomes my wife.

I know darn well all women are worthy of love and respect. But it's the second I marry one that I become okay with having sex with her. Before that moment comes, sex is something that's not for me to know.
 trotko
Joined: 10/19/2008
Msg: 68
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 9/3/2009 1:36:02 AM
This topic comes down to religion that's the only reason someone would stay a virgin. That's my problem with religion. They try to control peoples lives. Obviously it works. I cant believe so many people sit around worshiping a book written by (obviously an awesome author) as he's sucked so many people into believing his story. Personally id say it's a crappy book but that's my opinion. Religion is no different than any other business out there. It's all about the money. I find it sad that so many people feel it is a good thing to give these people money who turn around and brain wash you. Money well spent I think not. I think your money would be better going to a councilor who could reverse all the crap the church put in peoples heads. I do understand why someone would wait till you really care about someone before having sex. But love should come before marriage right. So wait till your in love not married. As long as the 2 of you love each other and enjoy the time together why rush into marriage.. Really all marriage is is a piece of paper.
 trotko
Joined: 10/19/2008
Msg: 69
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 9/3/2009 1:41:35 AM
nighthawk. Your profile sais your catholic. I know a few catholics and your religion sais it's not only wrong to have sex till marriage but you cant even live with each other till marriage. That's not cool. I think it is very important to live with someone for a while before marriage as that is the only way you will really get to know them.
 lemming3k13
Joined: 8/21/2009
Msg: 71
view profile
History
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 9/3/2009 12:41:59 PM
Can I clear up this nonsense about only religious people wanting to remain virgins, I'm non-religious, I agree there is nothing wrong with waiting until you're married or at the least until you're in love if that's what you want to do. It is in no way damaging to want to wait, however it IS damaging to apply peer pressure to people to try getting them to do things they don't want or are not ready for just because your beliefs are different.
It doesn't matter if you're 16, 20, 30 or older, it is always a persons own choice what they do and you should all learn to respect each other and the unique choices we all make.
 NightHawk2005
Joined: 3/11/2009
Msg: 72
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 9/3/2009 1:27:11 PM
Do you not think I know about all that? I know I can't get a divorce or use birth control. I'm fully okay with that. In fact, I want it that way. I am fully free to turn my back if I choose. I do not want to.

I didn't answer your question about masturbation because that is one of the few areas where I disagree with the Church. That is similar to my views on abortion. The Church teaches that it is never acceptable, no matter what, I believe it to be okay if it is absolutely necessary to save the life of the mother. Maybe I'm wrong about that, and I might one day change my views on masturbation to align with the Church's. But I don't believe it to be sinful. Sex outside marriage, however, violates the Ten Commandments, and is by definition sinful.

Why do I feel the need to be in this forum? I've said it before: to give virgins like myself a voice.
 trotko
Joined: 10/19/2008
Msg: 73
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 9/3/2009 1:39:39 PM
Do you not think I know about all that? I know I can't get a divorce or use birth control. I'm fully okay with that. In fact, I want it that way. I am fully free to turn my back if I choose. I do not want to.


Well there you go. You do the same thing most religious people do. You pick and choose the parts you want to believe and abolish the rest. So whats the point of being religious you can go of on your own and just believe what you want like you obviously do anyways. And you wont have to pay the church for screwing with your head. I am not trying to bash you. you are free to make your own choices but I am trying to help. I've seen enough to know what I am saying is right. You can move in with someone start having sex and then find your not compatible then you have to get a divorce and go through all that crap religiously and financially and the courts. When it could have been avoided. Me I have a higher standard for marriage as I don't feel it is something to be played with the last thing I ever want is a devorce. Therefore I want to know everything about this person before I take that huge step and get maried. I don't want to have to live in misery like so many married people do.
 dwayne88
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 75
view profile
History
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 9/3/2009 2:23:23 PM
I don't really get the waiting thing.

Besides religion, what's the point?

I'm still one and i'm not waiting, I just haven't been able to find a girl willing to take it from me.

I really get tired of people assuming that someone is a virgin for some moral reason.
 NightHawk2005
Joined: 3/11/2009
Msg: 76
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 9/3/2009 11:50:21 PM
No, it's because I agree completely with the church on those positions. If I didn't, I wouldn't live by them. Wanting to wait until marriage is not an excuse, it is a large part of my faith. Having sex outside of marriage is committing adultery and is a very serious sin. You CAN truly be in love someone without having sex with them. You've just never tried it, so you wouldn't know.

I stand by what I said: any reason to remain a virgin is a valid one, and honestly, I think something is mentally wrong with someone who can't accept that.

And imforever, that's not helping. I do not believe in divorce and I do not believe in sex before marriage. I will not change my mind on either of those. I know how big a step marriage is, which is why I've accepted the possibility that I might die a virgin.
 big pacific
Joined: 7/2/2009
Msg: 80
view profile
History
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 9/4/2009 8:02:43 AM
I respect your doing it for your faith.

My one concern is to make sure it's YOUR faith, and what YOU believe is right. Don't base your morality on the basis of others.


Personally, i think your crazy to buy a car without a test drive. Could it break down later? Sure, but at least i knew that i liked driving it initially.
 NightHawk2005
Joined: 3/11/2009
Msg: 83
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 9/4/2009 1:14:42 PM
I choose what's right and wrong for myself too. Just because I happen to choose the way of the Lord does not mean I have no choice in the matter. I choose it because it makes sense to me. If it didn't, I would leave the faith. I choose not to do so.

Also, after looking at that site, I don't want to start a holy war here, but I will be praying for you. It appears, from my point of view, to be nothing but sad trash.


I think its funny how the sexual "sins" are often the biggest "no nos" for Christians.

You can cuss, envy your neighbor's new boat, download music from the Internet (stealing), disobey your parents, get drunk on Sunday, say "Oh my God", and tell lies. But damnit...you better not be gay or have sex!!! Oh and lets not even get into the boy diddling that is covered up by the Catholic church. Seriously, its ridiculous.

Sexual chemistry is an important part of a healthy relationship. I can't imagine waiting until the wedding night and being EXTREMELY disappointed in my partner (see the wedding night consumation in the movie "This Boy's Life"). Discovering each other sexually (and determining whether you are a match) is just as important as discovering each other emotionally.


Nobody said humans are perfect. We do make mistakes, which is why we have the Sacrament of Reconciliation. But when a sin like this is so easy to prevent, why would we bother to engage in it? It just doesn't make sense to me.

Sexual compatibility just isn't that important to me. It certainly isn't as important as honoring my Lord.
 lemming3k13
Joined: 8/21/2009
Msg: 85
view profile
History
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 9/7/2009 9:56:26 AM

To each their own.
I actually feel sorry for religious people and the way in which they are controlled.
Funny you should mention "pressure" as that is JUST what the Churches do to people.They also apply guilt and shame and fear in the mix and THAT is a serious SHAME,not to mention DAMAGING.

I see most religions as CULTS.Sorry.

Maybe you missed the part where I said I'm non-religious. ;)
My statement can apply equally to both sides; the point is that everybody is different and has their own beliefs that they feel comfortable with for whatever reason. It is damaging to pressure your beliefs onto others. If someone wants to wait, let them wait. If someone doesn't, that's fine too.
 lemming3k13
Joined: 8/21/2009
Msg: 86
view profile
History
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 9/7/2009 9:58:54 AM

Isn't that the basis of religion?
OK....off to hell now.

If hell exists I'm heading there too, but screw it, it's going to be warm and I'm going to know people.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 89
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History
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 2/22/2010 11:20:55 AM
i can honestly say, i have not come across a female virgin profile, maybe it is geography
 Daves place 1
Joined: 1/14/2010
Msg: 94
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 2/22/2010 5:37:32 PM
Of course they are lying, the definition of a virgin now is an ugly third grader.
They don't want to have sex with you.
 Canadian Ink
Joined: 7/12/2009
Msg: 97
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 3/7/2010 9:04:59 PM
I really don't see what the big deal is for some people to hear others say they're virgins, even in today's sex-crazed society. Skating over the "goes without saying" fact that people are going to do what they feel is best for them and it really doesn't matter what anyone else says, when it comes to relationships, or potential relationships, the other party is either going to accept you for it, or reject you because of it. In either case, it says more about the other person than it does about you. Some people can't, or don't want to be bothered to train virgins. That's fine. They're obviously not people you'd want to be spending your time with anyway.
 sharklover35
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 98
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History
Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 3/7/2010 9:42:39 PM
Maybe it's because they don't want it to be that part of the body that defines who they are with and they don't want it to cloud their judgment.
 claridiva2000
Joined: 2/19/2009
Msg: 99
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Whats up with all these Virgins
Posted: 6/22/2010 6:55:53 AM

I didn't answer your question about masturbation because that is one of the few areas where I disagree with the Church. That is similar to my views on abortion. The Church teaches that it is never acceptable, no matter what, I believe it to be okay if it is absolutely necessary to save the life of the mother. Maybe I'm wrong about that, and I might one day change my views on masturbation to align with the Church's. But I don't believe it to be sinful. Sex outside marriage, however, violates the Ten Commandments, and is by definition sinful.


honestly i never saw anything explicitly in the bible against masturbation. it just wasn't really mentioned aside from the story where a guy "spilled his seed on the ground" but that was more about him disobeying a jewish law saying that he had to impregnate his dead brother wife (which is wierd in and of itself). that more about disobedience, not masturbation.

i just see it as a harmless way to 'scratch and itch'.
if its a sin, it certainly is the lesser of two evils. haha!
the hang-up might be in the fantasizing that usually accompanies such actions which is lust...which is bad.

but like i said, it does hurt anyone. and until someone shows me the verse that says "though shall not jerk it" i say do what you gotta do. lol!
we're supposed to only have sex in a monogamous relationship. hell, you will be with yourself forever. you've already seen yourself naked, you can't give yourself a disease or get yourself pregnant, and you can't divorce or break-up with yourself. so why not. :-)
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