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 catman50
Joined: 9/9/2008
Msg: 70
Is no sex dating so terrible?Page 7 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
no sex on 1st date . WHY ? makaes them want to see you again . if YOU both still C A R E for each other on the second date . then sex may happen .
 totalazzhole
Joined: 3/27/2011
Msg: 75
Is no sex dating so terrible?
Posted: 10/25/2011 10:18:18 AM
why don't you just 'date' girls? hang out with them, have 'no-sex' dates?

MOST guys like sex, it's sort of the point of the two different genders getting together
 BoonDockSaint73
Joined: 3/29/2010
Msg: 78
Is no sex dating so terrible?
Posted: 10/25/2011 3:03:21 PM
no sex dating terrible ?


no not really - its just pointless, eh ?


otherwise, I'd be out with my sister ...
 m14shooter
Joined: 10/2/2009
Msg: 79
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Is no sex dating so terrible?
Posted: 10/25/2011 8:06:15 PM
I have dated quite a few women I never had sex with, I respect you for respecting yourself but you had better not be a prude on the wedding night or he will be looking for the annulment.


I think not having sex in a relationship until marriage helps you keep a clear head and you know if you really love the person or if it is just lust.

A friends daughter is really bad about bedding a guy on the first or second date, having an orgasm and thinking she is in love and then he is gone. She finally listened to me about not putting out, dated over 20 guys without putting out and then met a guy who is really good to her. She gave him some at the six month mark and they are getting married in the spring. She now knows the difference between a orgasm and a man who loves her.
 platypus_man
Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 80
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Is no sex dating so terrible?
Posted: 10/25/2011 10:19:16 PM
Wow. I know we're living in the era of 'the three date rule'; but still? Surely there are some people who don't automatically shack up every time they go out with someone.
 Cat*Eyes
Joined: 9/13/2006
Msg: 85
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Is no sex dating so terrible?
Posted: 10/27/2011 12:34:13 AM
I would not tolerate this.
 valleyguyaz
Joined: 11/13/2008
Msg: 86
Is no sex dating so terrible?
Posted: 10/27/2011 3:29:39 AM
at some point there has to be sexual relations between both parties.unless there is a reason you cannot(medical reasons)
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 113
Is no sex dating so terrible?
Posted: 11/2/2011 11:20:31 AM
Kimber,

<div class="quote">No its not terrible! it allows time to connect on a deeper level.
So, does making out get in the way of connecting on a deeper level? Actually, no... why would sexual relations of a deeper variety? If anything, it would allow people to connect on a deeper level. I don't see how it'd get in the way of bonding. In fact, NOT having sex at any point would end up fracturing things with human nature. I'm not talking about having sex on the first date, I'm just talking about when two people click well, having sex.

<div class="quote">Sex just confuses things. It also creates feeling that would not necessarily be there.
What feeling is that? That you're going to be together forever forever ever? That would be a pretty silly feeling. Hey, to a few women, taking their shirt off could psychologically affect them, because to them they only do that for say, really serious-serious relationships... so doing that on a 3rd date -- OMG, right? Yes, she's going to be "confused" -- why did I do that? Oh no, I rushed things, etc. Well, that's her very odd view in that case. It's just a distraction to her, but not most people -- if it's not, it actually brings people together. And yes, there's subjectivity to it all, as it deals with emotions... but I guess the bottom line is that one can't say "it confuses and distracts things" -- one would have to say "with ME it does, but yes, having sex in a relationship won't for 99% of the population." :)
 totalazzhole
Joined: 3/27/2011
Msg: 115
Is no sex dating so terrible?
Posted: 11/3/2011 10:30:36 AM

I met a woman recently who felt that way, and while she was nice and all, I gave her the "Let's just be friends" line, which seemed to disappoint her a bit and she chose to walk away. I detected a whiff of disapproval from her over the fact that I wasn't willing to wait to have sex, but I let it go.


huh? but wasn't she saying to YOU "let's just be friends (no sex) " , in essence ?

VV
yes, or she has regular appointments with "Dr. Feltersnatch" ?

VVV
 barefootkitten
Joined: 12/17/2009
Msg: 117
Is no sex dating so terrible?
Posted: 11/3/2011 11:31:26 AM
To some of the ladies on here, please speak for yourselves and not the whole female gender. When you use terms like "we want...", etc... it implies that it's what ALL women want, and that is simply not the case.

It does not make men or women selfish for wanting to have sex before marriage, it simply means they don't view sex in the same way you do. I have sex in a committed relationship with my boyfriend because that is what I CHOOSE to do. I WANT to show my boyfriend how I feel about him and have him to the same for me by expressing it in a physical way.

How someone choosing to share themselves with another equates to selfishness, I don't understand. If anything, expecting a person to not have sex just because YOU don't want to have it, is indicative of a far more selfish viewpoint than anything. If you don't want to have sex before marriage, don't. But don't bash those who don't share your view on the matter. It does not mean they don't have morals, it simply means that their morals are different than yours. To me, sex is not a matter of morality at all, but to you, it obviously is. Some of you women like to state you were raised that way to defend your choice not to have sex outside marriage. I was raised to be more open-minded and accept others for their differences instead of ostracizing them for it. Again, it's just a difference in how we were raised.

I grew up with far too many people who shared your viewpoint, btw. 90% of them got married fresh out of high school simply because they were curious (as teenagers are) and horny and wanted to have sex. Guess what? Within 5 years, most of them had divorced because they didn't take the time to find out what they were getting into, or they found out they were sexually incompatible. To state that love alone can overcome sexual incompatibility is quite naive. If you didn't have it happen in your marriage, it was due more to luck than love.
 ohenryx
Joined: 3/12/2010
Msg: 125
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Is no sex dating so terrible?
Posted: 11/3/2011 8:50:36 PM

MissieMary said:
I think it's rude to try and have sex when the other person isn't interested yet.


Say what? Did I just read what I thought I read? Was that posted by an adult?

Men make passes at women. That's how you know that you are with a man, because he desires you and lets you know that he desires you. If you're not ready, then you say "No", loud and clear, and he takes you home. And then he calls up the next number in his little black book, who just might be ready. And you can come online and join the long line of women complaining, "What happened to all the good men?"
 Della D
Joined: 7/10/2008
Msg: 135
Is no sex dating so terrible?
Posted: 11/5/2011 1:20:01 PM
Waiting until marriage to have sex is a dangerously foolish thing, what if you find out the two of you are simply not compatible?

That simply makes no sense. As one poster put it: You would not even buy a car w/o test-driving it, no? And selling a car is much easier than a divorce!

As for me, in having sex lies the difference between boyfriend or friend.

As for MissieMary's post, I take it you are dating guys in your own age group? Please bear in mind that while healthy men of all ages usually want sex, most guys around 20 are walking erections.

It's the hormones, and many don't quite know yet how to handle them.

Just saying don't take it personal and/or too serious.
 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 136
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Is no sex dating so terrible?
Posted: 11/5/2011 3:05:22 PM
Theres no way on earth I'd risk marrying someone before knowing if we were sexually compatible that (IMO) is just nuts

But if youre a virgin that would be a total no go too all by itself

At my age the idea of somebody with L plates on their nighty needing to read sex for dummies would be about as appealing as necrophillia in a hot climate with a 5 year old corpse whilst I was sober to be perfectly honest

I think you might be better off finding a bloke who is also a virgin because I doubt any sane men who werent totally desperate or had a very low amount of sexual experience would be that turned on by the idea of someone who didnt have any sexual experience and who could turn out to be frigid, lacking in any natural sexual instincts and who might have more off limits taboos than north korea

When I was about 15 the idea "might" have has some slight appeal, but now I'm a grown up it certainly wouldnt

Heck, I wouldnt even buy a phone without seeing how it worked or at least being able to take it back if it wasnt good enough for my needs. So the idea of actually marrying someone without some intense road testing really just doesnt seem sane in the slightest
 fit43rd
Joined: 5/15/2010
Msg: 137
Is no sex dating so terrible?
Posted: 11/5/2011 5:58:23 PM
how do u know if u want to date them again if u dont sleep with them. isnt the whole point of a relationship to have sex? otherwise have a same sex best friend
 milmseeker
Joined: 10/8/2011
Msg: 141
Is no sex dating so terrible?
Posted: 11/6/2011 9:11:00 AM
It would be, in this day and age, hard to believe that a person is truly interested in waiting until marriage. Rather most guys feel theyre concvinced that the lady would gladly go to bed with a better looking guy well before she would marry him..
 wisegirl357
Joined: 11/1/2011
Msg: 148
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Is no sex dating so terrible?
Posted: 3/13/2012 7:32:26 AM
I agree with you, I've been on this site for about 6 months I met someone that I've been talking to since the end of November. When we started talking to each other we spoke almost everyday for about 2 weeks straight. Then we met up had a couple of drinks played some pool and we hit it off well, that we even kissed a couple of times. After the first date whenever we spoke on the phone our conversation would always change from a regular conversation to talking about sex and what he wants to do to me LOL!!! For our 2nd date he invited me to a hotel that has a jacuzzi so we can chill and get to know each other better; however, i turned him down. I'm the type of woman to have sex with someone i just met, it would be different if we dated a FEW times before, then i wouldn't mind talking about sex...
So when i turned him down, he got a little upset and thought that i was playing games, he said what did you expect when you meet someone, that you are only going to talk to that person on the phone or on the site and that person is going to spend money taking you out and they get nothing in return..... I told him if that person is really interested and likes me well they have to be patient and if they have to take me out just so they can get to know me, then so be it... So basically we stopped talking for a bout a month and a half. He sent me a message on POF i didn't respond then he sent me another message saying that he wants to cook me dinner at his place and i finally responded and said yes. Dinner night went well he cooked me a great pasta dinner and some good wine. We hit it off and i ended up spending the night... He sent me a message a couple of days later saying that he wanted some more, i guess he enjoyed our night... now it seems like every time we talk it's about sex. I like this person and i really want to get to know him more talk to him more, but i don't want him to think that anytime we hang out we are going to have sex. What should i do?
 Helloitsmeyourlookingfor
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 151
Is no sex dating so terrible?
Posted: 3/13/2012 10:45:41 AM
@Wisegirl....

go places that are not conducive to sex. Places where you have to talk, laugh and play. Considering your locale. NYC, Six Flags, restaurant, Jersey Shore (yes even before its summer), crowded park, bar. That will force conversation, even if it tends to revolve around sex, you will still learn to get to know the person. A relationship is 95% being together without sex. FWB is 50% or less about being together vs. sex. FB is 99% about sex.
 baldguy500
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 155
Is no sex dating so terrible?
Posted: 3/13/2012 2:46:00 PM
No sex dating should be a felony and punishable up to double life if found guilty of NOT putting out.....

man is just an animal under the sun....been like that for 4000+ years...all the love and companionship is just pyschological abuse in the end.
 Justatrubblemakr
Joined: 1/27/2011
Msg: 160
Is no sex dating so terrible?
Posted: 3/18/2012 7:29:06 AM
well if your just dating and there is no commitment then i think its important not to have sex until there is at least a commitment to date only eachother. to many people place 95% of the relationships success on the sexual part and place no value on the communication or supporting of eachother .
i dated a girl for a yr and she was like that , not big into sex cause of her past issues , i endured it, i wasnt happy n talked about it and tried to get her to deal with her past issues . she wouldnt handle em tho so in the end it just built up til it blew up . you have to be honest with yourself tho as far as what your prepared to live with and live without before you go and wasdte your time trying to date or see someone that may not be in the same headspace as you,
you loving them or them loving you really wont overcome issues that some people have buried and clung to to for decades.
i dont think a person owes me or you anything, not sex or even a sandwich . if you are mature enough to date then you should also be mature enough to understand when a person says no im not ready or willing that that is exactly what it means. if your running on hormones there are toys and hookers that will satisfy your urges on the spot
 ControlledFolly
Joined: 2/17/2011
Msg: 161
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Is no sex dating so terrible?
Posted: 3/18/2012 7:40:44 AM
There is no way will i enter into a committed relationship without having sex. Sexual compatibilty is one of the cornerstones of a lasting relationship. When things get bad then a good sex life makes it all seem less important.

If a realtionship is starting out sexually repressed, it will continue and end that way too. no thanks. I dont expect a porn star partners but having one that has a liberated attitude to sex is very important to me. Ive had sex with a stationary bag of meat before, i would rather have a wank.

Suggesting no sex is only telling me you are repressed at best, or gold digger at worst.
 shygirl413
Joined: 2/12/2012
Msg: 163
Is no sex dating so terrible?
Posted: 3/19/2012 7:00:59 AM
I wouldnt want to not have sex with a guy I loved and was dating but I wouldnt want to jump into bed with any guy I did not know well. I think most woman want a relationship and you can not have one if you just jump into bed with a person plus it ruins things on the emotion side. If I man wants sex to soon in a relationship before I am ready I would end things personally. I have not had this problem most men are in no rush to jump in the sack as long as they get some other action and encouragement. No one can say what is right or wrong it is a personal thing between two adults you just both have to be on the same page. When you are not that is when things wont work. Good luck
 baldguy500
Joined: 2/9/2010
Msg: 164
Is no sex dating so terrible?
Posted: 3/30/2012 8:45:28 AM
i'm coming over to pay you a visit...along with my grateful dead collection i think you need to listen to "throwing stones" over and over and over.......
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