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Joined: 8/24/2008
Msg: 20
This Girl That I Know (won't leave me alone..)Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Had a similar problem with a former GF who wouldn't leave me alone after I'd called it off (she turned out to be an obsessive stalker who believed we should continue having sex aft I'd given her the heave ho, I didn't want to stay *that* attached to her!!). Called me FIVE times from 3 diff phone #s in one day. She showed up at work a few times too & I finally took her aside (outside, by the bldg's loading dock, NEVER have a discussion like this in front of your coworkers!!) & let her rail at me for a few secs. I learned a trick from a work session on how to deal w/difficult employees; sometimes if you let the person just blab at you, they'll stop aft a few secs or mins b/c you're obvs not responding the way they want you to (however, it may not work for everyone, I just knew from her "personality" that it would...). Aft she stopped I told her, no uncertain terms, that I didn't want her calling, emailing or showing up at work for those accidentally-but-still-on- purpose appearances. Told her that if she started to leave any msgs on my ans mach (I didn't have a cell then) I would force the machine to hang up on her right there.

One more piece of advice: if you find yourself having to call the cops on her DO NOT give her a warning! Do not yell out that you're calling the police; if you really want your msg to hit home, let the cops get the drop on her, it may just be the jolt she needs. Hopefully it won't come to that.

Joined: 3/24/2009
Msg: 25
This Girl That I Know (won't leave me alone..)
Posted: 7/13/2009 10:05:28 AM
Change your phone number and e-mail. Tell her to leave you alone. If all else fails consider a restraining order.

Drinking is NOT an excuse for sleeping with her first of all, you knew what you were doing.

"When you're a man and this happens it is no excuse. When you're a woman and this happens it is often called rape. He may not have known what he was doing, and he may not even have given consent. It hasn't been specified."

That is exactly right. And if you let this woman, she may use the police against you, when you have done NOTHING wrongly. Tell her to F off. Don't be nice to her. And tell her that if she keeps calling, you will call the police.
Joined: 4/8/2005
Msg: 26
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This Girl That I Know (won't leave me alone..)
Posted: 7/13/2009 10:06:21 AM
Call the police every time she bothers you. Personally, I wouldn't allow this to happen to me. She'd be dealt with one way or the other. It's pathetic that if this situation were reversed a woman would be the victim and have no problem getting it taken care of.
Joined: 2/19/2007
Msg: 30
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This Girl That I Know (won't leave me alone..)
Posted: 7/13/2009 10:17:05 AM
Some people don't really disengage that well, No need to change your number, and there are no grounds for a restraining order, so , don't even bother listening to that lame old advice.

If it's truly bothering you, then do what some people do all the time....block her number from your phone and email. I mean, I prefer to talk out any misunderstandings with people, at least a little bit....but, if you've done that....and are getting nowhere....then give her the 'almighty' BLOCK.
About 20 yrs ago while living in NJ, I dated a guy who turned out to be a pathological liar. For starters, he lied about going to law school, he worked in his father's clothing store in downtown NYC.
I broke up with him. Unfortunately, we went to the same clubs in NJ. After clubbing, I'd go in my own car to a diner with a guy, and he would be following us. He'd be waiting near the parking lot. When he saw the guy going to his car, he would stop him and tell him that I was his wife. Sicko!
I went to the police in my town, and guess what? They knew who he was. They knew his car, what he looked like, and he even told them he was a lawyer. One of my neighbors complained about a car driving around the neighbor hood at 1 am.
About 3 months later, he was still doing it because I was out on a date and on my way home, and guess who we saw?
The police gave me some bs about not doing a restraining order, but this was over 20 yrs ago. Being in NJ, I knew some guys who wouldn't think twice about busting your kneecaps. One night when I was out, and my ex-b/f was there, and had these guys give him a 'warning.' They didn't touch him, just lectured him.
Guess what? About 6 yrs ago I read in the local NJ paper that he was arrested for impersonating an INS officer. He was trying to get someone's maid kicked out of the country. Seems he has a record for stalking people, making crank phone calls etc. The police were looking for other's to testify against him.
The woman this guy is writing about seems to have a screw loose.
Joined: 5/19/2009
Msg: 32
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This Girl That I Know (won't leave me alone..)
Posted: 9/13/2009 7:20:38 AM
It is your pay back but to get rid of her you must find her someone else for her. Talk and find out what she looking for and find that man. You should not have slept with her. It will take time but in the end you will feel good and you will be careful about sleeping around next time.
 Ima P Ness
Joined: 9/9/2009
Msg: 33
This Girl That I Know (won't leave me alone..)
Posted: 9/13/2009 7:25:38 AM
Seems rather simple to me. Have a few more drinks... might change you perspective aain. She could be the woman of your dreams... especially the alcohol enduced ones!

Seriously though. Change your number. Sounds like she is just into being on the phone.
Joined: 4/21/2007
Msg: 34
This Girl That I Know (won't leave me alone..)
Posted: 9/13/2009 7:46:38 AM
I've already said I stopped returning calls, or answering my phone for that matter, a month ago, after she started using the pay phones. I closed the door, but there's a hurricane a-comin' and it's liable to knock my door down, even if I lock it. ya dig?

If this had been dealt with properly when the harassing first started, you might be free of it now. Pull out all the stops... police, her mother.. shame her into stopping with mom or stop her dead in her track with the cops.

It's really simple.

Oh and something else that's really simple.. STOP sleeping with women who you aren't interested in.
Joined: 10/22/2007
Msg: 35
This Girl That I Know (won't leave me alone..)
Posted: 9/13/2009 12:42:51 PM
Ahh.. the old bunny boiler trick.

There is only so much the police can do... they can only enforce laws... and there may not be enough laws to cover everything.

First best thing to do is cut all contact. Every time you communicate with her just turns the fire up higher on that bunny in the pan!

I would leave "move away" on your list as an option. Too bad you can't get into the witness protection program... sounds like you've witnessed enough!!

Some guys think they want sex... what they don't know is they want sex with a good woman... it's called a good relationship. Yes, guys want a good relationship too... they are just not as mature generally about relationships as women are and don't really know what they want. Some don't have a clue!

Next time, check women out before you get involved... check them out and let em' go just as soon as you smell a red flag. You learned a valuable lesson. Never get involved with a nut-case. Smell what I'm... boiling?!
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 41
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This Girl That I Know (won't leave me alone..)
Posted: 9/13/2009 8:24:55 PM
Try telling her that you want her and you to have sex, and then casually slip that it will be you, her, and 60 other buddies, all at the same time. Either that, or suggest re-enacting Rosemary's Baby, using a goat in place of the Devil. I doubt her feet will touch the floor before she's gone, and she won't be coming back.
Joined: 1/21/2006
Msg: 43
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This Girl That I Know (won't leave me alone..)
Posted: 9/14/2009 1:16:21 AM
it is unclear to me if this is an extended case of teen angst or if this woman is manic--assuming i believe what you are telling us. do you have a relationship with your mom, where you can discuss this sort of thing? she may know more about this girl or find out. two of my kids would bring this directly to me. the third might ask her sister first, who in turn, would ask me. if it got "heavy", all three would come to me if in trouble.

if you were my kid, i'd find out if the girl had psychological problems by speaking to her mother. keeping in mind, i might be risking my friendship with the mom, but it might be necessary if she does have these problems. i would assume the mom is a good mom, if she were my friend!

if no known problems, then i'd advise you to do what everyone else has said: stop giving double messages, write her an email that you don't wish to keep in contact anymore, wish her well and ask clearly and assertively "in writing" that she NOT call anymore.

if necessary, change number(s) , make sure you are unlisted, get restraining order if necessary--meaning she keeps showing up at your home or bothers you at work. each time, if this happens, call police and keep the email you sent her for future reference. her jeapordy to your employment is a major issue.

most important advice: keep it in your pants next time. if you have learned something, this all may be worth it. doesn't matter if you are a boy or a girl. you need to "know" who you are intimate with, get a full std check plus herpes (not included in std. test), and as said above, pray she didn't get pregnant! this is one reason why people are monogamous. in addition to the romantic/spiritual reasons, there are also some practical considerations. as you said, "she" was not drunk. she may have been taking advantage or she may have been surging oxytocin (the bonding hormone, which we females are known to have way more of than the males).

hopefully this is just extended teen angst, aka adult "drama" or minor dysfunction. trust me, this is just the beginning of life's lessons. they just keep on chugging.
Joined: 3/9/2009
Msg: 44
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This Girl That I Know (won't leave me alone..)
Posted: 9/14/2009 9:17:00 AM
Okay, here's what you do. You can thank me later.

You need a DeLorean and a flux capacitor. Get that puppy up to 88 miles per hour and then slam 1.21 gigawatts of energy through the capacitor. Dial up the precise time that you decided to drink some booze and hang out with this girl. Switch booze for water.

You're welcome in advance.
Joined: 5/21/2017
Msg: 45
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This Girl That I Know (won't leave me alone..)
Posted: 9/23/2017 10:57:07 PM
1 - don't delete her emails. Keep EVERYTHING.
2 - keep the phone number for her calls only, then get a second private number.
The point is, DOCUMENT her behaviour if you ever need to prove she's crossing the line into stalking.

This is only if she's gone this far, and you want to put a stop to it. Keep evidence. It may never be needed, but HAVE it.
Joined: 9/4/2017
Msg: 46
This Girl That I Know (won't leave me alone..)
Posted: 9/24/2017 4:51:11 AM

This thread is eight. years. old.

The OP is long gone.
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