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 HazelRose
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 3
She tells you she's bi-sexualPage 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
People lie about age, about STD's, but they typically do not lie about being gay or bisexual since there can be repercussions about those two areas. If she is telling you she is bi, then take it as the truth. She is being open to you, and hoping for the best.
 gtomustang
Joined: 6/16/2007
Msg: 4
She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 4:50:44 AM
She could just be bi-curious. It doesn't HAVE to mean she can't be monogamous, that relies more 0n a person's inability to handle monogamy, than their sexual preference.

No matter who you're with, you can decide whether to run or not, on a basis of how they treat you. Is it respectful, or is it not? If she was in these relationships for years, apparently she isn't afraid of relationships..unless they were all open or something :)
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 8
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History
She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 6:04:36 AM

seriously, give her some credit that she has been honest with you, and make sure she knows boundaries with regards to cheating - you go with someone else male or female when in a relationship is cheating and is not acceptable!

Is she just telling you she is bi or expecting you to be okay with her screwing around on you because it is a woman instead of a man?
 AwP
Joined: 12/31/2006
Msg: 9
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She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 6:28:53 AM

I will have to share her with another person(female) in all aspects..emotionally, physically, spiritually and the day to day stuff.

This isn't because she's bi, plenty of bis can be completely monogamous. Bi just means they can go either way, it doesn't mean they need to go both ways simultaneously. In addition to being bi, she's also polyamorous (whether she's familiar with the term or not), and that's really the part you have a problem with.
 ForRumOnly
Joined: 3/16/2009
Msg: 10
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History
She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 7:01:20 AM
Bi people can certainly be monogamous. I assume you're straight, may find some women other than your girlfriend attractive, but would not act on that attraction. Same for her, just that some people she finds attractive may not be male. Besides, it sounds like her history is filled with commited relationships, unless there is more to that than she or you have told us.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 11
She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 7:19:48 AM
Like someone said, she is not bi, but bi-curios. If she has been in that many relationships with men and have not crossed over, then she is not what she things she is. What is happening with that woman, is that her sense of fulfillment with men is at a low point, and it doesn't seem that you were able to provide that either. Now, that doesn't mean you did something wrong, it simply means that something is not being met, so what are the alternatives in her head.

So, if she wants to experiment with other women, she will have to, to get it out of her system.
 Commonsens
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 12
She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 7:23:05 AM
soooooo, if the girl sleep with another guy it is cheating but if it is with another girl it's not, based on an unfulfilled aspect of sexuality?!

double standard here!

I wonder how many of you ladies will react to see your "man" in bed with another man?; and what will be your perception of him in the aftermath? Your perception of yourself or perception of your own sexual abilities to fulfill him in the aftermath?

First of all, there is about 13 level of bi-sexuality, which one are we implying here? Is it at the same time in time, in rotation, occasional? etc etc; based on a social aspect? of an emotional preference? on a confusion of identity? a lack of self esteem?
Reasons and motives are varied.

But I do not eat that kind of bread: Life and couple life do have enough factors to complicating things that I prefer not to add another variable on top of it; and beside, I like a type of women far too much to even consider anything else as am completely fulfilled by her at all levels...and know myself very well.
Call it playing it safe if you want, but I prefer to be able to channel my energies where it is needed or matters and not to have to wonder, worry or think about things such as this in my couple. I will give her everything I can, everything I can be, grow, evolve, etc etc; and if that's not good enough for her..then we are not meant to be together.
 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 15
She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 7:42:04 AM

First of all, there is about 13 level of bi-sexuality, which one are we implying here?


Based on what? What are those 13 levels. Why not 11 levels? Or 21?
Are you pulling this out of your (pardon the pun) your bu tt? Or can you back this up with data.

(No argument here, just curious about your sources.)
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 19
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She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 11:26:41 AM
Either she's someone who doesn't cheat or she's someone who cheats, her bi orientation has nothing to do with it. On the other hand, some couples don't call it cheating if the bi partner only has affairs with the same sex, or if they add the same sex people to their bed, it all depends on what you want and who she is.
 no_excuses_please
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 20
She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 12:41:24 PM
Walk...don't run in another direction.

Bisexuality is a mixed bag.
Unless she has completely renounced her former...umm..."feelings"...there's always going to be tension.

In my experience,most bisexuals that I have met are generally unhappy and confused (that's the open ones...obviously I'd have no idea how the closeted bi's are/were) and those levels of unhapiness and confusion probably won't translate into a solid relationship.

It's,of course, your choice.
But if you have doubts...haven't you already made a choice?
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 22
She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 5:02:53 PM
I cant see my self dating a Bi woman. So next time you argue is she going to go to her other lover???? If you are in a LTR sex brings you closer togher. Sex is not just sex between two people unless its a one night stand.. Do you want her to share that with one else besides you???? If she is not sleeping around with alot of other women. Which brings its own problems. Then she is having a LTR with another woman same time she has one with you...
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 23
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She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 5:10:03 PM
She just wants to double her chances in the bar.


 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 27
She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/13/2009 7:46:32 PM

Many Men don`t have a Problem with That! Especially when
they`re in the Middle

What about if you're not in the middle, but instead reduced to errand boy and you get sent out for refreshments a lot? lol
 no_excuses_please
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 28
She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/14/2009 2:12:10 AM

I've had LTR's with two women who were bisexual. We never had any problems or issues, in or out of the bedroom. I'd even go so far as to say that we had a closer bond simply because there were fewer unknowns between us, because I did not judge them negatively. They valued my ability to not judge them negatively because of their sexuality.
There are different degrees of bisexuality. Don't paint them all with the same brush. It's not fair at all.
Some are merely bi-curious (lipstick lesbians), and simply act upon the "fantasy" every once in a while, while some are very driven and torn between which gender they prefer.


Please re-read my posting.
I didn't state that ALL bisexual women are unhappy and confused....just the ones that I've met.

Since I didn't ask them about their sexuality, there's no way I would have known unless they told me. And while I didn't "judge" them for the past, I did have to look at actions in the present involving them differently because of what they told me.

Relationships are fragile.
Most have difficulty enduring the constant buffeting from the daily grind of common issues. Bisexuality (at least open bisexuality) is an uncommon issue and as such isn't something that most people have experience with or for which they'd be prepared.

IMHO, if there are any doubts as to whether not the non-bi person in the relationship can deal w/ things then there isn't any doubt. They probably can't and they should look elsewhere to start a relationship.
 webmdtech
Joined: 12/5/2008
Msg: 29
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She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/15/2009 8:06:55 AM
almost all the girls i've dated told me they liked gilrs and either have been or want to be involved with another woman. who can blame them, men are gross! lol
 HazelRose
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 31
She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/15/2009 9:57:56 PM
Just as in hetero ralationships, there are bisexuals who are not great at monogamy. Not everyone is the same, and for those who habitually get in a relationship with someone who is unfaithful, that person might look into their own issues. People get what they want in life as they pursue it.
She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/15/2009 10:02:44 PM
I wouldn't mind just in and of itself. However, if I was in a relationship with her, I'd still want it to be exclusive. Whether she sleeps with another man or a woman, I'd view it as cheating on me as long as we were together.
 Einstein09
Joined: 7/12/2009
Msg: 33
She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/15/2009 10:08:44 PM
Then I tell her Bi Bye
 egboy
Joined: 4/2/2008
Msg: 34
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History
She tells you she's bi-sexual
Posted: 7/16/2009 11:27:27 AM
I for one have no problem with Bi-women. I know some and dated 3 over the years. Thay loved me and played with the girls. Always came home to me and would bring them home. Most Bi-women don't like butch women they like others like them. I must say I had a good time with them. At the time I wasn't looking for a LTR but if I met the one that I wanted to be with for the rest of my life and she is Bi it would be great.
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