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 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 40
Have 50's era men become obsolete?Page 4 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

Many men are also out there desperately looking for the 'feminine' woman, the one who doesn't have to stand in front of her man, but is happy to stand behind him and support him when he faulters, rather than criticise and make him feel emasculated.


Instead of standing in front or in back of the man, why not stand side by side going through life together taking on whatever life has to offer them together? Each there to support the other when one faulters.
 scuzzlebutt
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 41
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Have 50's era men become obsolete?
Posted: 7/14/2009 8:57:22 PM
Oh hai. ...Wassup?
 radikal1
Joined: 7/4/2009
Msg: 42
Have 50's era men become obsolete?
Posted: 7/14/2009 9:11:04 PM
The irony is that we all want the badgirl/badboy, that's only good to us, which isn't normally the way it works. The guy who uses women and discards them will always be the guy who uses women and discards them but will always have women that's attracted to his attitude and charms. Rarely are they "The guy who uses women and discards them -BUT FALL IN LOVE WITH YOU. If he does this and changes then will you still love that guy? He's soft now. Maybe still strong and silent or whatever. And either way you'll eventually get tired of that soon enough and cheat on him. Your reason will be "he's not supportive" or "he doesn't communicate" or whatever.

And let's get some 50s era ladies back here. The kind that guy a rats @$$ about a guy as opposed to simply saying they do.

@ scuzzlebutt LOL'd @ your profile pics.

-Nate
 scuzzlebutt
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 43
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Have 50's era men become obsolete?
Posted: 7/14/2009 10:08:24 PM

@ scuzzlebutt LOL'd @ your profile pics.


lol finally somebody gets it.
 Zephyr2553
Joined: 12/28/2008
Msg: 44
Have 50's era men become obsolete?
Posted: 7/14/2009 10:19:48 PM
Oh trust me, Sweetie, they are very much alive and "well". You don't have to look far to find them. They'll be at the antique car shows or at the race track.

They'll now be at the VA or the Amvets. Many of them are wonderful men. But many of them are also so frozen in their own era that they have become inflexible and inflexibility is a sign of insanity.

My dad is a WWII vet but he wears Sketchers and his hat on backwards and listens to all kinds of music without complaint or judgement. He is open to all life has to offer.

You may find that 50's men are not what you thought they would be. Doo Wop and Rootbeer can be v e r y boring in a very short time.

But those qualities you have described are not franchised by the old Geezers from the 50's. Some of the younger, studleys are just as macho and don't have girl boobs...lol
 burnfaith
Joined: 11/19/2008
Msg: 45
Have 50's era men become obsolete?
Posted: 7/15/2009 12:06:02 AM
Never thought this thread would produce so many posts.

After reading through the comments I realized that rather then discussing the topic I thought I was presenting (which, believe me, I've apparently been very freaking mistaken about what I meant) - most of the posts are discussing how naive, young and stupid I am.

Granted, I read the posts and maybe I don't understand the entirety of the subject I proposed but honestly? You win. I'm a stupid, misinformed, naive and young with a very unappealing profile.

Have fun with the bashing.

- A
 cooldude
Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 46
Have 50's era men become obsolete?
Posted: 7/15/2009 2:17:22 AM

Never thought this thread would produce so many posts.

After reading through the comments I realized that rather then discussing the topic I thought I was presenting (which, believe me, I've apparently been very freaking mistaken about what I meant) - most of the posts are discussing how naive, young and stupid I am.

Granted, I read the posts and maybe I don't understand the entirety of the subject I proposed but honestly? You win. I'm a stupid, misinformed, naive and young with a very unappealing profile.

Have fun with the bashing.


I thought most people were bring honest answers & thought provoking discussion. I don't see where they thought you were necessarily that naive or the rest of what you mentioned.


After reading through the comments I realized that rather then discussing the topic I thought I was presenting


Or rather they were the not the answers you wanted to hear or were expecting? For the answers you want to hear you will have to go elsewhere for that. Yes, people are capable of independent thought & ideas different then your own & I don't call that bashing.
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 47
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Have 50's era men become obsolete?
Posted: 7/15/2009 8:39:35 AM
I think even if the OP and other posters here did not live in the 50's era...we can still pick up on what image was kinda popular for men in this decade...I've seen it mentioned alot about violence of that decade or perhaps domestic violence. Violence has been a consistent fact of life since beginning of time. If it were not...we would have no wars...Perhaps what is meant is during that period in time at least a man might "try " to save you from another violent man...(aside from the laws in place at that time, I'm sure there musta been some heroes in secret on the side)....Could this be what OP meant? How many young men now would jump in and save you if you were being hit today? Some of these guys getting pedicures today would worry about getting scratches on their hands...Are instincts for protecting the weak gone...Are reflexes dulled...we've become by standers? Desensitized? (sorry don't know if i spelled that right..lol)

Perhaps we should not be so "snobbish" of brawny men these days and critique what they are wearing, if they didn't shower so quickly after working b/c they wanted to sit a minute and rest...Perhaps if we weren't such a "vain" society caught up in waxing our eyebrows and bodies we would see more of them? Time spent on vanity is time away from other things....

I will agree with prior poster that since you are attractive the bashing could be much worse...but that still don't make it right...If I say that you are younger...I am only stating a "fact" and it is not intended to talk down to you or lessen your opinion, but only to place your opinion in perspective...
 expat57
Joined: 2/20/2008
Msg: 48
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Have 50's era men become obsolete?
Posted: 7/15/2009 8:43:40 AM
While you presented a topic for conversation, just as in our day-to-day lives, the conversation evolves as each person contributes. It's not as if this thread was hijacked but not all comments are directed at your initial post. As with all information, take from it what you can use now, mentally file that which may be of interest later, forget the rest.

Your subject line question '50's men' and your examples, Eastwood and Chris Noth's character 'Big', became the topic to discuss as that was the topic presented. Perhaps you hoped more for a discussion about the type of man interesting to you not being in your immediate proximity and your wondering if they even exist. Now THAT is a topic that has been done and done again and again. Perhaps forum posters enjoyed clicking into a thread that offered a new angle to discuss. Your initial indication comes through as though you felt they once existed but don't now. The the ideal you've romanticized, forum denizens have collectively mused, likely never existed and the conversation took on that twist.

There are men out there like you describe. As with the examples you've suggested (Eastwood/Big), their modern counterparts are not without their quirks that may or may not be considered flaws in the eyes of the beholder. When you meet your Match, you won't consider them flaws. You'll love him as he is. Quite a few of the comments offered, however, are about the pitfall of flaws that cannot be overlooked in the stereotype you introduced in your initial question. That is surely a more interesting discussion than yet another group-bashing of men in general or, as you perceived, a free-for-all against you. Neither of those negatives happened in this thread.

Enjoy the conversation as it is. Drop back in and gently and cheerfully bring up clarifying ideas to carry the conversation along if you had another path for the thread. Remember not everyone reads the whole thread before posting a reply so some will continue to respond only to the initial topic as it was presented.
 expat57
Joined: 2/20/2008
Msg: 49
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Have 50's era men become obsolete?
Posted: 7/15/2009 9:04:47 AM
..and the examples in my own profile? Give me Rose over Martin any day but the idea of Martin .. whew .. if he could've been faithful and wasn't such a heavy drinker... Yeah, the perfect man, on celluloid. In the real world, he would've been a heartache I'd pass on. Did I ever find my Rose counterpart? In my late husband, yes. Kind, brilliant, focused, attentive, known local character, anything but mainstream. Easily beats Rose for my attention hands down. My current love? He's in a class all his own and I adore him for that.

The man who will trip your trigger in all the ways you hope for is out there. Holding out for that which you seek rather than settling before you meet him will be a challenge you may decide isn't your path after all. At 18, your interests and ideals are likely to change greatly over the next few years. At 18, it's common to believe such changes won't be so for you, but we all, all of us, have changed dramatically since age 18. You will too. Saying so isn't a stab at your age or naivety. It's just a fact of life shared here by those who were born before you. Enjoy the forums. Have fun here. Participate in the conversation without feeling frustration or anger or annoyance. When any of us are getting ourselves worked up over words on a computer screen, it's time to turn off the computer and enjoy the sunshine for spell before dropping back in.
 head.cloud123
Joined: 5/29/2009
Msg: 50
Have 50's era men become obsolete?
Posted: 7/15/2009 9:38:04 AM


I choose to be the dominate one in my relationships. I will have a woman who looks up to me and depends on me as her rock (emotionally and otherwise) and looks to me for protection. The strong women will often attempt to shame those of us like this and make stupid comments about us wanting submissive japanese women with their ankles tied up or some other drastic nonsense logical fallacy to make us look ridiculous, but this is what makes men real men. Doing and going for what they believe in even in the face of strong opinions against you. I just see that women naturally will defer to men strong enough. These "powerful women" become jellyfish when confronted with the right man who stands his ground and has a commanding presence. Alpha male or powerful man in no way implies grumpy man who orders everyone around and expects to be obeyed at every word, either. He just respects himself and follows through on all things he believes in and accepts his masculine responsibility and expects his female(s) to be there to support and gently guide his decisions. Other women can do whatever they want, but they will go and do it with lesser men who will tolerate women going against their nature. Then the women will complain there aren't any men. Nope, they're just not with you because you are not woman, instead you are only the shell of one, just like men without backbone. Pretty exterior but no substance!


A woman who wants a man to be her emotional rock instead of being the emotional rock for her family will probably not be a good mother or an asset to a man's career. Its is traditional women who are supposed to be strong not the other way around.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 51
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Have 50's era men become obsolete?
Posted: 7/15/2009 11:13:26 AM

E. Even if it were personal -- your question itself was kinda insulting to the male of the species. I'm amazed they let you off so easily and I suspect it is because of your youth and cuteness.

I don't know about your latter contention, but let's just say us guys have been whipsawed so many times the last several decades regarding "what women want" that we're in permanent neck-braces, so nothing much fazes us anymore.

One decade women want this, the next they want that, then the next they want what came before the first. We take it about as seriously as we would if a woman announced she'd just made up her mind for the last time ever and had found the last pair of shoes she was ever going to buy. We know a Woman's Unalienable Right to Change Her Mind trumps anything of the sort which might be construed as a firm decision, so it all gets regarded approximately as if it were a statement about fashion, which we all know changes with every season.
 Searcher8001
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 52
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Have 50's era men become obsolete?
Posted: 7/15/2009 12:01:22 PM
I don't think they're totally gone, but like the buffalo they have almost gone extinct. I'm the first to say that I'm that kind of person but also brought up to the 21st Century as well. I'm an old fashioned guy with traditional values. No nonsense - black and white, call a spade a spade, patriotic, USA-loving guy and yet......

I've come a long way since growing up in a rural community in Ohio where there was NO one who was not white, European, Roman-Catholic. I lived in a totally homogeneus world, not unlike Japan. The 1st NON-white people I ever saw as children were Mexican migrant workers. When I told my dad, a farmer, himself, that I thought with childlike honesty that these little Mexican kids were dirty kids who smelled bad, my dad replied, "Really, well that's because the farmers that hire them don't even give them showers nor running water and treat them like so much cattle. These people are crammed into little bunk houses with a single light and outhouses. Of COURSE they smell bad, who wouldn't under those conditions. The ONLY farmer I know who treats them with dignity is your great-uncle right up the road, so Dad's got a treat for you tomorrow." It was 2 weeks before school. Picking up the phone, dad called my great uncle and said, "Joe, I'm sending up Jack and his brother to work howing weeds and picking peppers with your Mexicans for the rest of the week....ok.. ok.. yes, they'll have plenty of water..."

This was MY introduction to the ways of my dad - a 30s era man who grew up in the GREATER Depression and was going to show my brother an I a little bit about HIS old-fashioned values.

We went out there that afternoon and howed weeds for hours and then we started in on the back-breaking business of picking peppers. Soon our little 12 year old backs were aching and we wanted to quit. But Uncle Joe said, "you boys are staying out here the whole time, just as your dad said. Come on, stop complaining. Do you hear even ONE of these Mexicans out here complaining. They have driven 4000 miles here from Mexico and they work like blazes and never complain. Well by the end of that day were sunburned, blistered and we TOO smelled pretty ripe. When we truged home with our oes over our heads our dad met us outside of the farm house. "Gee, you boys REALLY smell BAD and DIRTY. Here' I have JUST what you need. " He threw a bucket of water and soap and a garden hose and said, "When you all nice and clean and European and white and respectable again, you boys come on in for diner. You will NEVER call ANYONE dirty and smelly who does an honest day's work. ALL honest work has DIGNITY from the CEO of General Motors to the assembly line man on the shop floor to the sweepers and moppers who clean up after every shift. Don't you boys EVER forget this.

This was my hard introductory lesson to so-called old fashioned values...

A couple years ago I told a corporate VP "ALL honest work has DIGNITY from top to bottom." He asked me, "You mean you really BELIEVE that?" I said, "Let me tell you a story...........

Jack
PS - (My dad was a life-long union worker in the United Auto Workers and a skilled tradesman, a tool and die worker. His mom had died when he was seven leaving nothing but a drunken father. He went to work at 13 to support the family an put all of his younger brothers thru high school and even college. His life can be summed up in one sentence. "ALL I have EVER known is WORK."

Look at my post on superficial love to see another aspect of 50s era men.
Jack
 Searcher8001
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 53
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Have 50's era men become obsolete?
Posted: 7/15/2009 12:05:20 PM
Agree - so-called masculine and feminine qualities should NOT Be the exclusive province of one gender over the other. We CAN have strong women, and gentle men, brave women and artistic and poetic men. God gave us ALL these qualities to express. We are NOT at all diminished for having expressed them, but rather expanded! Neither sex need be weaker than the other, nor less noble, nor less selfish nor less virtuous.

Jack
 cooldude
Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 54
Have 50's era men become obsolete?
Posted: 7/15/2009 1:46:19 PM

but I know the difference between a woman who is 'prepared' to stand behind a man occasionally, without fear of being seen as 'beneath' him.


Exactly! There are times when you have to do this.

I see where some women see it as an insult if a woman who stands behind her man instead of beside him. Because there are times when she has too & needs too.

I can see one example as different jobs. If I had a wife who was a lawyer is one instant where I would have a supporting role and would stand behind her. As I don't know much about laws & court room procedure. So how could I possibly expect to direct her or be equal to her in those circumstances? I can't. Nether could I expect her to be my equal in that her knowing about engineering in my job.

But we should be standing side by side as far as family goes...
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 55
Have 50's era men become obsolete?
Posted: 7/15/2009 1:52:11 PM

As for defining 'femenine [sic] thinking' if you were a femenine [sic] thinker then you wouldn't need a definition. Women can look, act, walk and talk like females, when they haven't got a femenine [sic] bone in their body. We're supposed to be compassionate and understanding.


If you understood "feminine thinking," you wouldn't come up with such a lame cop-out. In other words, you can't define it because you aren't sure--it is like what the congressman said about porn: he couldn't define it, but he recognized it when he saw it.


Women can look, act, walk and talk like females, when they haven't got a femenine [sic] bone in their body. We're supposed to be compassionate and understanding.


I see--so men ARE NOT supposed to be compassionate and understanding because it means that they would be effeminate. Gotcha.

This striated, black and white type of thinking exemplifies the problems with living in the past. A woman, and a man, can be compassionate and understanding and still be strong and decisive. It is also extremely judgmental and goes beyond encompassing a "know-it-all/I am right at any cost" mentality--you can't judge the compassion and understanding of people whom you don't know, and sometimes, being cruel is best type of compassion.

A cliche from the past comes to mind: Men don't cry. I heard this said to boys as I was growing up: "Big boys don't cry."

To be fully functioning human beings, yah, big boys DO cry.


A man needs to 'feel' manly, he can feel this when a woman allows herself to be vulnerable.


If a man needs a women to be weak before he can feel "manly," he isn't manly--it is a facade he has donned.

But that leads back to the start: define "manly."

Everyone's definition can be different.

For me, manly is when I stand close to a male and his energy radiates into mine, complementing but not dominating. Manly is the essence I smell, taste, feel--different from the energy of women, different from my own and is appealing, drawing me in.

There is more, of course, but if a man needs for me to be weak in order to feel that, he ain't much.
 cooldude
Joined: 4/26/2004
Msg: 56
Have 50's era men become obsolete?
Posted: 7/15/2009 1:58:59 PM

A man needs to 'feel' manly, he can feel this when a woman allows herself to be vulnerable.


If a man needs to feel "manly" he is too insecure with his manhood to begin with. And if a woman needs to do this is just trying to feed his over inflated ego.
Have 50's era men become obsolete?
Posted: 7/15/2009 2:22:33 PM
The rules of dating and courtship were more concrete back in the 50's so men and women knew how to handle themselves. Nowadays the rules seem to change with the wind daily so nobody has a clue how to conduct themselves anymore.
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 58
Have 50's era men become obsolete?
Posted: 7/15/2009 3:21:36 PM

The rules of dating and courtship were more concrete back in the 50's so men and women knew how to handle themselves. Nowadays the rules seem to change with the wind daily so nobody has a clue how to conduct themselves anymore.


Speak for yourself: I KNOW how to conduct myself. If people need handbooks on how to behave, I suggest they contact Miss Manners.
 _Paradoximus_Maximus
Joined: 2/24/2009
Msg: 59
Have 50's era men become obsolete?
Posted: 7/15/2009 7:52:29 PM
Nostalgia for the past is usually strongest for those least informed of the facts and details of the period. Not everyone was Clint Eastwood in his prime in 1950 -- not even Clint Eastwood..... It's like those Medieval reenactment clubs that think everyone was a knight or a fair maiden -- nobody was ever out toiling in the fields every daylight hour trying to survive pestilence, disease and oppression.

In the 1950's accommodation was mostly rented, usually rooms, with a sever shortage of family housing. Things were quite different for Mrs. Average in 1950. She thought herself well off if her floors were linoleum covered and scattered with the odd rug. Domestic appliances were rare and those in existence were virtually unobtainable to the ordinary family. The freezer was almost unknown. Likewise only 15% owned a fridge. Horses and carts were common as was the rag and bone man who made a living from old clothes, still mainly made from natural fibres and suitable for felting. Consumer credit was mostly unavailable to the working class. PAY AS YOU GO was the rule. Many rural areas didn't have electrical power -- which had only started to become widely available with the Rural Electrification Program of 1949
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 60
Have 50's era men become obsolete?
Posted: 7/16/2009 7:18:50 AM

I seem to always get Men, I mean , real men. Maybe it's because of the kind of woman I am


As with the definition of "feminine" women, I am still not clear on the definition of "real" men. Does this mean that some "men" lack a penis and scrotum? Wouldn't they be women--or perhaps eunuchs? ( Are eunuchs really men?) What is the difference between a "real" man and a "fake" man? Where do hermaphrodites fall? Are gay men real men?

Do real men not eat quiche?

Do real men not cry?
 _Icon_
Joined: 5/18/2008
Msg: 61
Have 50's era men become obsolete?
Posted: 7/16/2009 7:39:52 AM

Nostalgia for the past is usually strongest for those least informed of the facts and details of the period. Not everyone was Clint Eastwood in his prime in 1950 -- not even Clint Eastwood..... It's like those Medieval reenactment clubs that think everyone was a knight or a fair maiden -- nobody was ever out toiling in the fields every daylight hour trying to survive pestilence, disease and oppression.

In the 1950's accommodation was mostly rented, usually rooms, with a sever shortage of family housing. Things were quite different for Mrs. Average in 1950. She thought herself well off if her floors were linoleum covered and scattered with the odd rug. Domestic appliances were rare and those in existence were virtually unobtainable to the ordinary family. The freezer was almost unknown. Likewise only 15% owned a fridge. Horses and carts were common as was the rag and bone man who made a living from old clothes, still mainly made from natural fibres and suitable for felting. Consumer credit was mostly unavailable to the working class. PAY AS YOU GO was the rule. Many rural areas didn't have electrical power -- which had only started to become widely available with the Rural Electrification Program of 1949


I love a guy who knows what he is talking about.


Have 50's era men become obsolete?


Yes, in 1960.
 ColonelIngus
Joined: 9/16/2007
Msg: 62
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Have 50's era men become obsolete?
Posted: 7/16/2009 10:30:56 AM

Do real men not eat quiche?

REAL Men are not even exactly sure what quiche is. I mean, other than some food-like substance women serve at luncheons. REAL Men don't do luncheons.
 Searcher8001
Joined: 6/13/2009
Msg: 63
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Have 50's era men become obsolete?
Posted: 7/23/2009 11:43:16 PM
I like many of Gwendolyn2009's points. Earlier I tried to make very similar points. There are male/female gender differences to be sure. Different plumbing, etc. Also, a man's mind is more compartmental. He can leave work and forget about it. Leave his wife and meet up with his mistress and forget about the wife. Go home and kiss the wife and forget about the mistress. A woman's mind is more integrated, naturally. They too many have many rooms and compartments, but the doors remain OPEN to and thru all of them. Yes there ARE differences, but so-called masculine qualities such as strength, bravery and confidence SHOULD be expressed by women and so-called feminine qualities such as grace, beauty, refinement, tenderness, compassion, nurturing should also be expressed and embraced my men too. NO man is dimimished for expressing such qualities - Hell - where do you think we got the word Gentleman from?

Gwendolyn2009 said:

For me, manly is when I stand close to a male and his energy radiates into mine, complementing but not dominating. Manly is the essence I smell, taste, feel--different from the energy of women, different from my own and is appealing, drawing me in. "

Excellently said and the same is true of woman. Complimenting not dominating. The key is GIVING by BOTH parties as opposed to TAKING by either. If BOTH parties are GIVING then there is NO issue of what the other is getting. If either is selfish than that is the surest recipe for disaster.



 Birdman660
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 64
Have 50's era men become obsolete?
Posted: 7/24/2009 10:31:43 AM
What?! Longing for the days of barefoot and pregnant?!

Get back in that house, and have my dinner waiting for me then... and you better look pretty dang good bringing it too! Is there anything sexier than a woman, dusting the house in high heels?!

Uuuumm, yes, actually there is...

This too, was the 50's. So be careful what you wish for!

I guess I'm wondering what you consider to be a manly man?! It seems to me that you couldn't put it into words either. Care to elaborate a little more than just old fictional Hollywood stereotypes?

Apparently women know more about what it is to be "manly" these days than us men do!

Oh and, by the way, there is nothing more unattractive than a woman complaining that you're just not "manly" enough for her. I don't think there can be a bigger turnoff than that!

I go to work everyday. I still open doors. I usually pay for dinner on at least the first date. I jump out of airplanes, and surf, and snowboard, I take out the garbage, I do basic household repairs... BUT I am also expected to be both mother and father to my 12 year old daughter, which demands a softer, more nurturing side. I do pretty much everything else around here too, including all the housework - (uh, hello, my mommy hasn't been here to do it for me in over 25 years, and I can't afford a maid!) I friggin' HATE working on cars and always have. (They're a pain in the butt!) I have been known to "allergy attacks" at sad movies... (I WAS NOT... ! I have allergies!) Oh, I'm sorry. Does that make me less manly to you?!

Can the phrase "Who's your daddy" really be that big of a turn on?! Come on, be honest!

Even in the 50's life was not that simple, you just stayed in your little box and didn't talk about it...
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