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 onreesukr
Joined: 1/16/2008
Msg: 84
Why do women not like dating fulltime single fathers?Page 4 of 14    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14)
Sounds like we have too many issues to even get through to you. I have been single parenting my daughter going on 11 years now. I have not recieved 1 penny for this, nor do I expect to. I don't try to make the ex jealous as she has chosen a different life style. I come across the problem with me is most women my age 50l don't care to raise another child as they feel their job of raising children is finished. I don't bad mouth them,that is just the way it is. I can tell you one thing is your words make you sound sooooo unattractive that you are bitter and I hope what ever bothers you , you can heal. So good luck and you will be in my prayers
 tpil
Joined: 11/21/2009
Msg: 85
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Why do women not like dating fulltime single fathers?
Posted: 12/8/2009 6:11:20 PM
Because women like to be number one in the guys life and having a child means that will never happen.. Women who walks away from a guy with a child are mostly selfish until they have a child then understand. Some will complain about the same thing in men so it can be a 2 way street but mostly one way.. It's sad.. I have been dropped because I have a child even tho my profile lists I have one..
 singlesuperdad
Joined: 8/26/2009
Msg: 86
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Why do women not like dating fulltime single fathers?
Posted: 12/8/2009 6:28:51 PM
I think that one thing people forget is that men and women get dropped, and dumped before they had kids and it's just a fact of life that not every person you choose or are attracted to are going to feel the same. So you have kids, not everyone is into dating someone with kids. Hey some don't like bald men or heavy women or whatever. It's just life and the more you dwell on your " short comings" or things you can't change the harder it is going to be to find the right one for you.
 Me-want-luv
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 87
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Why do women not like dating fulltime single fathers?
Posted: 2/17/2010 11:57:06 AM
Hey man it's not you it's this sight...get off it and enjoy your time with your kids...I know I've learned the hard way that this sight is for the most...LOOSERS that can't and don't no how to find someone the real way...LOL in person..!! so make the time with your kids get off this self degrading sight i call it... and you will be much happier....pain before gain man...GOOD LUCK
 mya.123
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 88
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Why do women not like dating fulltime single fathers?
Posted: 2/17/2010 12:07:22 PM
Im a single mum, have been for years. I allso know how hard it is to make the time to get out there and meet some one, in my eyes your children come first im sure a lot of woemen agree, anyone thats single knows how it is. Thats why i wouldnt date a lone parent father,
 SweetHeartFish
Joined: 1/29/2010
Msg: 89
Why do women not like dating fulltime single fathers?
Posted: 2/17/2010 8:59:32 PM
Personally I wonder why this is such a big issue? I just went through divorce and have quickly come to realize that noone will love my children as much as me or their mother. I would never expect any new partner to replace my ex-wife in any way. Sure my children would have to like my new partner and visa versa, but I would not expect to make someone an instant mother or anything. My children are a huge part of my life, but I am putting myself out there for me and not for them. Sure I have less time, but so does every single guy that works 90 hour weeks that I work with. Why is there such a strong stigma one way or the other, or is there? This online thing has had its frustrations at first, but that is mainly due to the instant gratification expectations we are programmed to expect from the internet. Divorce is a crazy rollercoaster ride (and I am still going through my ups and downs), so it is important to step back and understand the source of your emotions. I realized my frustration with being rejected was mainly driven by my fear of being alone. The fear of not finding someone better than my ex (loughing at that one:-) So anyways, I think it is important to realize life (especially finding the person you'll spend the rest of your life with) is a long process and your time and energy is better spent nurturing the relationships you will have forever (ie with your children) and let the rest fall into place. There is no way to force the world to see how great you are. That can only happen with time and luck. Luck being the crossroads of opportunity and preparedness. So take care of yourself and your family and stand by for the opportunity.

Ok, that felt better written down. I'll get at least a couple days of satisfaction before feeling lonely and desperate again :-)
 MamitaMorena
Joined: 11/6/2008
Msg: 91
Why do women not like dating fulltime single fathers?
Posted: 2/21/2010 10:44:59 PM
Personally, as a woman who doesn't date men with children, it's often too much "drama" in a situation like that. OFten, the mother of said children doesn't know her "place" as the mother and ex wife or GF, as she is not the current love interest. The good ole "baby mama drama" so to speak.

Also, not all women are child-friendly. Just because one has unlimited access and ownerdhip of a uterus does not a babymaker make. Some women don't like children. Nothing personal against you, OP. Some of us just dont. Myself included. It doesn't mean a woman is any better or worse, just not right for you.
 hotmamma5point0
Joined: 2/15/2010
Msg: 92
Why do women not like dating fulltime single fathers?
Posted: 2/24/2010 6:25:31 AM
Having kids myself, I feel more comfortable with the idea of finding someone who has children. And full time does not phase me one bit. I would be with a man who has children as long as he was as involved with his kids as much as he could be, I feel it speaks to a parent's character in general.

That being said, I have not really dated yet, so I may be being idealistic! I do worry I will be with someone and love their kids and then break up and be left with a hole where the children used to be. I have seen it with my ex's ex wife. After the divorce, he does not make sure the kids see her, so I do it on my own time because she was like a second mother and very valuable to them. I have been involved with one man since my split two years ago and I have seen his son's mother manipulate and disregard their agreements and it drives me up a wall because its not my place to say anything about it. So if I got really involved with a man with an ex like that, it would stress the relationship between us.

But that does not mean I am not willing to try!
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 93
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Why do women not like dating fulltime single fathers?
Posted: 8/28/2014 2:25:32 PM
having children cut into the fin finacial prospects of the potential guy there going to date ,also lots of drama
most women especially single mothers are pretty pragmatic,after having had two or three children with men that are total loosers they need a man to rescue them
 OwenSound1
Joined: 5/7/2014
Msg: 94
Why do women not like dating fulltime single fathers?
Posted: 9/3/2014 10:32:39 AM
as a single dad ive been told by a few the same line " I cant raise a child that isint my owen " I say men do it all the time but then i usualy get "thats diferant if the kids were mine and i date you it's more or less all mine not me stepping in as the 3rd person you-your kids then me " also been told stright up if the kids are not mine and the house is not mine and we fight and i walk i go with nothing but if i have the kids and kick you out at lest i keep it all. ive talked to alot of women and that seems to be the bigest thing with dating a single dad there not going to replace the kids and if they walk out they go with nothing and when i say but thats how it is with men then get nothing and are 3rd in any relation ship and most women think thats ok
 Peter_Hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 95
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Why do women not like dating fulltime single fathers?
Posted: 9/5/2014 7:39:00 PM
Since my ex and I split up I have had my 4 year old almost exclusively for the last year (she's seen him maybe three times).

I'm in the same boat. Told the same thing. by tons of women. "Oh it's wonderful you're a single dad, you're the only one I've ever heard of!" But then that's where all the interest seems to stop.

What am I doing wrong?


Men and women do not want to raise someone else's kids period, but I would say women (with children) more so. Most women with children would prefer a guy with minimum custody as possible. When the say THIER children come first they mean it literally.

What they want is a guy to slide into her family life more so then blend one. They want to be number one on how kids are raised and what the rules of the household are . You bringing your kids into the mix means a different dynamic with your much more rigid child rearing and her more liberal and permissive ways. ( Yet it baffles them down the road with single-mother raised kids statistical behavior).

I've seen it way too many times where they want a preferably childless man that will slide into that vacant "papa' slot in name only where you will remain silent when she corrects the kids and your function as a father is in name only when in reality you are just a larger child in her eyes with a paycheck. She wants to be the ultimate authority of the household and that can't be her if you bring your own kids into the mix and inadvertently undermine her totalitarianism.
 Zombiedust31
Joined: 6/6/2014
Msg: 96
Why do women not like dating fulltime single fathers?
Posted: 9/15/2014 8:28:45 AM
Personally I prefer dating a single father than a man that has no children or is absent from their lives because he has more of an understanding of what's involved with the stresses of raising a child or children. I don't need a man because of his paycheck just like I don't need a man to raise my children either, I would think it's the same coming from a male approach?

[Most women with children would prefer a guy with minimum custody as possible]
~Because the only thing a woman wants to see is the man she's dating is that lazy and irresponsible? The way I see it is if a man can't even care for and provide for his own children, which is someone that came from him, then how could I expect him to care for me and my children if & when that time comes? Highly unlikely...

[She wants to be the ultimate authority of the household and that can't be her if you bring your own kids into the mix and inadvertently undermine her totalitarianism]
They call it boundaries for a reason, both men & women have them. And there's also a thing called mutual respect and compromise as well. Should go without saying that there are some things that the other person in the picture should not do and if it's really that difficult to abide by then again, don't date a single parent. This really isn't a matter of controlling the other person in the relationship but making it clear that with her children or his children there's a way that they want them to be raised and grow in this day & age.
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 97
Why do women not like dating fulltime single fathers?
Posted: 10/8/2014 2:44:10 PM
^^it could be, that like you, they also have preferences. You can't expect the people whom you choose, to automatically accept you and your children. You can't force your way into anybody's embrace. I'm sure you're very picky (as so you should be, for the sake of the children), and so are the women you deem worthy of your time and affection.

You make the grave mistake of thinking we're incapable of making our own relationship choices...that just because we may be more selective, doesn't mean we don't want a family or have family values to share; many of us are raising our own children and are busting our backsides raising them. I had a look at your profile, and personally, given the way in which it is written, I can understand why people may not find you approachable.

Reality check: If you seek somebody significantly younger, do you think it's fair to drop the responsibility of your children on her, whilst also taking care of you, your house or flat, and putting her dreams and ambitions on the back burner? For what, just to make your life easier? What about an older woman whose children are adolescents and grown and they are experiencing the first freedom since before becoming a mother...do you think they are going to want to be a fill-in nanny to your children? What do you have to offer? I don't see this in your profile, and quite frankly, your whining here irritates me to no end.

Just because you're a family-oriented father doesn't mean women should forgo their right to choose to appease your obese ego. If you want something meaningful and long-lasting based on loyalty and integrity, the thing that needs changing is your negative attitude -- not a prospective date's right to decide what's in her best interests.
 christiangirl19
Joined: 8/12/2009
Msg: 98
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Why do women not like dating fulltime single fathers?
Posted: 10/11/2014 4:05:14 PM
I think most women are afraid of babymamma drama. I went through that with my ex fiance. I'm a single mommy and I'm a little hesitant dating someone with kids because of the fact I don't like drama. I doubt it really has anything to do with the person. that's just my opinion.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 99
Why do women not like dating fulltime single fathers?
Posted: 10/11/2014 7:37:23 PM

Why do women not like dating fulltime single fathers?


Apparently they don't like dating fulltime single NON fathers either. There's no line at my door.


I think most women are afraid of babymamma drama.


Well, I can't have any of that, either.
 Szaszaspasz
Joined: 11/13/2012
Msg: 100
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Why do women not like dating fulltime single fathers?
Posted: 10/16/2014 8:51:04 PM

feminism has destroyed what was good in a woman finding a loving caring nurturing woman is rare today modern women are career minded would rather dump the kids with a nanny moan when they are off school have poor cooking skills so feed the kids junk and cant wait for the weekend so they can go out and get sloshed kids have become a burden buy them a games console that will keep them quiet


I don't have kids and I don't cook. So I can get sloshed during the week (after work) if I want to. 😄
 Eternityboresme
Joined: 8/20/2014
Msg: 101
Why do women not like dating fulltime single fathers?
Posted: 10/17/2014 12:52:26 AM
Don't be impertinent, oystermouth.

Feminism has not destroyed anything; feminism is trying to address is inequality. Are you less of a man because you're a full-time father, cooking and cleaning for them? (Of course not!)....or do you expect that when you meet your female partner, to accept you and kids, and clean up after all of you including taking care of them so you can enjoy freedom?mtoo bad, you had children and it's your duty -- not anybody else's -- to care for the children you agreed to make.

The same goes for me; though I've one grown child and I co-parent my minor child still at home, I'm still responsible for cooking nutritious meals, cleaning, doing the washing the shopping, the PTA conferences, homework help, doctors' appointments, et al because I have to (and I enjoy it), I live on my own, and not because of some foolish standard that I must because I'm a woman. In addition, I'm self-employed and I work from home; I did this to be more available to my son. (I'm a feminist.)

Nurturing is also a matter of putting food on the table and most people have to make a living to do that, so I don't see your blooming problemis. And so bloody what of when wants to have an occassional ladies' night out, a few beers and dinner with them, a couple of dates during the week, or a little time for herself to be the individual human that she is.
 fishermanbob84
Joined: 3/27/2014
Msg: 102
Why do women not like dating fulltime single fathers?
Posted: 10/19/2014 5:58:15 PM
Hey, I just wanted to say that I am in the exact same situation. I've read that a lot of woman are afraid of or do not desire the fact that another woman WILL be part of your life for the rest of your life, and that can be one of the biggest hits. I'm in the same situation as you, where the mother has nothing to do with the child or my life, but that isn't exactly an opening sentence or a profile point you want to express.

In conclusion, I have zero advice for you, just wanted to relate. I've had absolutely zero interest from any woman in dating, for over four years since separation. I do put my daughter first though, and I won't even consider anyone who won't respect that. I wish you luck.
 ganho
Joined: 5/7/2014
Msg: 103
Why do women not like dating fulltime single fathers?
Posted: 10/19/2014 7:39:51 PM

In conclusion, I have zero advice for you, just wanted to relate. I've had absolutely zero interest from any woman in dating, for over four years since separation. I do put my daughter first though, and I won't even consider anyone who won't respect that. I wish you luck.


I never had issue about finding and having accepted dating partners.....but then I was not a student and with full time employment there is the suggestion of self reliance and financial capabilities. But both were high performance athletes which is expensive and time consuming.

So I had the pleasure of two high functioning and highly motivated daughters who are doing engineering degree’s...you know what Forbes suggest as being in the top 5 for career possibilities.....far better than periodic occasional self employed wages or austerity of full time parent and full time student.

And fishemanbob...in all fairness I have in the past questioned single stay at home mothers who go back to school asking where or who was paying the piper...and why they would be a suitable dating partner? LOL...and with a population of 364...and 163 private residences in White Fox Sask.....I might also suggest your dating pool is limited? Not forgetting the trip to Prince Albert is 90 minutes away....who also has a population of 35,000.....
So when you have children and have financial responsibilities one is selective and careful and not wanting to get involved with just anyone...as their children will be impacted...


modern women are career minded would rather dump the kids with a nanny


I wonder if your issue is more you do not have the financial capabilities yourself.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 104
Why do women not like dating fulltime single fathers?
Posted: 10/20/2014 10:11:57 AM
lonelydad23-Being a custodial parent isn't easy, whether you are a man or a woman.
I applaud people who say they manage to find a balance between parenting and dating, but it's NOT easy.
Having said that, being a custodial parent isn't always the reason people get turned down.
Can it be? Sure, Is it always or even the MOST likely reason, NO.
THE biggest reason given for quickie meets is so you have an out if you don't like each other, I GET that, but why not make SOME effort to get to know each other at least a LITTLE before hand?
This might not seem like I'm addressing the single parent/dating issue, but I AM.
Believe it or not people get tired of being asked to meet RIGHT now, yesterday even.
I'm not saying ALL men do this, and I know SOME women are just as guilty, but not everyone is willing to be treated like something ordered off of a fast food menu.
It's not really a parenting issue, it's a dating issue.
Whether or not people date online, IRL, or a combination of the two, people don't stop being human beings with feelings.
Even if people are childless, this is true.
I guess what I'm saying, is if you aren't getting dates, I'm not sure you should ASSUME it's because you are a custodial father.
That MIGHT be the reason, or the reason just might also be that not every one alive is willing to jump on board the "make it happen RIGHT now" train.
I am a card carrying member of the "I know it takes time" group when it comes to dating and I will keep renewing my membership until I meet someone who is wise enough to know there is a fundamental flaw in today's "I want it, so I should get it, this second" type thinking.
I'm sorry if all this seems harsh, I'm just a little tired of women and men posting threads that insist that someone isn't accepting a date with them ONLY because they are parents.
The odds are, like it or not, it's more likely ONE issue in ADDITION to others, or that it's easier to look for that as a reason that you get turned down when in truth, it's not even a factor.
Loneylydad, I'm not saying you are a bad person, or that you are conducting yourself in the way I mentioned earlier, what I'm saying is be honest with YOURSELF and look at the effort that you are putting in to get someone to WANT to meet you.
Can you REALLY say that you making more of an effort than "hi, let's meet"?
One of the biggest mistakes people make is getting so caught up in the process that it get's forgotten that it should be about caring about the PEOPLE we are meeting, not just the pursuit of getting dates.
The two are intrinsically linked.
There would be a lot less gnashing of teeth if more people would GET that.
 Peter_Hungus
Joined: 11/3/2012
Msg: 105
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Why do women not like dating fulltime single fathers?
Posted: 11/9/2014 6:36:29 AM
Personally I prefer dating a single father than a man that has no children or is absent from their lives because he has more of an understanding of what's involved with the stresses of raising a child or children. I don't need a man because of his paycheck just like I don't need a man to raise my children either, I would think it's the same coming from a male approach?

[Most women with children would prefer a guy with minimum custody as possible]
~Because the only thing a woman wants to see is the man she's dating is that lazy and irresponsible? The way I see it is if a man can't even care for and provide for his own children, which is someone that came from him, then how could I expect him to care for me and my children if & when that time comes? Highly unlikely...


I think a lot of women like the "idea" of a man taking the responsibility of raising his kids on his own but when the reality of that scenario plays out for them personally ( getting serious with a custodial father) it makes them run for the hills when their narcissistic ego realizes the man cannot put her and her children on a pedestal.


They call it boundaries for a reason, both men & women have them. And there's also a thing called mutual respect and compromise as well. Should go without saying that there are some things that the other person in the picture should not do and if it's really that difficult to abide by then again, don't date a single parent. This really isn't a matter of controlling the other person in the relationship but making it clear that with her children or his children there's a way that they want them to be raised and grow in this day & age.


Call it what you will, the reality is women confuse children's wants with needs and thus discipline takes a back-burner on child rearing. This plays out not only on statistics of single-mother raised children in contrast to single-father or dual parent raised households but also by the reluctance of men pursuing anything but casual relationships with women with exclusive custody. This isn't conjecture as there is significant threads of exclusive custody single mothers unable to procure men of quality for long term relationships.
 want to travel
Joined: 7/29/2006
Msg: 106
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Why do women not like dating fulltime single fathers?
Posted: 11/16/2014 8:32:37 AM
it has more to do with single parent fathers are financially messed up,usually men only get custody of kids when the mother is really bad
 BillyBuckshot14
Joined: 10/30/2014
Msg: 107
Why do women not like dating fulltime single fathers?
Posted: 12/18/2014 6:15:14 PM
The answer is simple. Women don't want to date men with children because that means there is another woman garnishing his resources.
 Tsar850
Joined: 3/23/2013
Msg: 108
Why do women not like dating fulltime single fathers?
Posted: 12/19/2014 1:21:41 PM

I heard a new one this weekend from a single mom. I had one of my few Saturday nights without the kids so I was out clubbing and struck up a conversation with an attractive women and after a bit she invited me to join her and her sister at their table. Talked about the normal stuff and then she said she was a single mom, I said "me too I am a single dad". She then said "it's not the same I am a full time single parent". I then said me too, my ex only takes my kids one night every 2-3 weeks if I am lucky. What she said next was "well I don't date full time dads". I said that's cool we are just talking not dating but, I know it can be hard to hook up with the limited free time single parents have. She said that's not it, she said single dads tend to do it so much better then single moms and it made her feel inferior. I said your joking right, and she said no and she was envious of how dads seem to do it all with out help and she was hardly getting by with a support check and her mothers help. I said NP it's been nice talking to you and moved on why the night was still young. Now it could have been total BS, but she was the one that invited me to their table and it seemed legitimate at the time. The dads do it better reason, fist time I have been given that one. If not her real reason, it was an excellent blow off.


I've ran into the same thing. Back when I had my children at home it seemed to annoy some of the ladies I dated to have my home clean and in order.

Even my cooking skills have seemed to be a threat to them.

One said she would never try to compete with my cooking skills. She later told me I didn't need a woman....... I responded with I know...... I want one.

It sure seems like some women need a man to "fix" not a man to have a relationship with.
 thompson1919
Joined: 11/30/2014
Msg: 109
Why do women not like dating fulltime single fathers?
Posted: 12/19/2014 5:35:12 PM
It sure seems like some women need a man to "fix" not a man to have a relationship with.


Bingo! Knew this woman that had a husband that would run around on her she would often come home and find him passed out on the floor from everything to heroin to just plain drunk. She was a neighbor so she would come by and cry to me. Give me blow jobs have sex with me. I asked her why is she married to the guy there are so man guys out there like me. She said " because then I would be the one the guy would try to be fixing". Like the old saying your the hunter or the hunted. Same goes for your either the fixer or the fixee in the mind of a woman.
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