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Show ALL Forums  > Off Topic  > why can't people just be who they are      Home login  
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 jollyjee
Joined: 10/19/2007
Msg: 77
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why can't people just be who they arePage 4 of 8    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8)
I think everyone should be using caution while internet dating. People are quite often not what they seem which makes it bad for those who are truly looking. It is difficult to determine who is telling the truth and who isn't by a profile. Stay safe, there are honest people out there, don't paint everyone with the same brush.
 bike4fun
Joined: 4/30/2007
Msg: 78
why can't people just be who they are
Posted: 7/28/2009 3:23:24 PM
Wait!

Here's and idea we can borrow from computers/IT.

CERTIFICATION!

Just think. People can go to dating classes and become certified. Then that can be one of the criteria used when looking for a dating "hire"!
 mirabelle13
Joined: 5/6/2009
Msg: 79
why can't people just be who they are
Posted: 7/28/2009 4:17:25 PM
I vote for McDonald's fries!!!!

The last person I had a relationship I met on-line. Needless to say, he lied a little, then a little more and then a lot. Call me gullible. Took me a while to figure out the game. I think that some people just lie, and even believe their own lies.

One small white lie might be a flag to keep your eyes open. If there is a pattern, then I say run.

And of course, none of us know the mental state of all the other POF fishies. Maybe instead of certification, we all should come with a seal of approval meeting levels of sanity!!!LOL
 SohoWriter
Joined: 7/21/2009
Msg: 80
why can't people just be who they are
Posted: 7/28/2009 4:27:07 PM
As a point of clarification: as a real entrepreneur I can tell you that owning a business does not make you an entrepreneur. Business owner and Entrepreneur are two different things. An entrepreneur by definition is someone who finds efficiencies that fundamentally change the way a business is done. Owning a hamburger stand makes you a businessman. Being Ray Kroc of McDonalds, you're an entrepreneur because you have fundamentally changed the scale and efficiencies of the business. The world of selling hamburgers was different after Ray Kroc. Picking up stuff in a flea market may be a business but starting Ebay is an entrepreneurial activity.

That being said: I am an entrepreneur. I developed a product and method that changed the way business is done and I not only did it once I did it 3 times. And about to start the 4th. So your friend was not exactly truthful when he called himself an entrepreneur. I have great respect for those of us who have mortgaged our house to build a dream and succeeded. It is not for everyone.

And by the way: everything in my profile is exactly as stated.
 eschec mat
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 81
why can't people just be who they are
Posted: 7/28/2009 4:35:37 PM
I do like the salads at BK, the flame broiled chicken. They have a frozen orange drink that is like a cream sickle. McD's has the fruit parfait! I love to get an extra one of those to freeze for later.

Flea market sellers often refer to themselves as entrepreneurs. I used to do tons of auctions and met quite a few that had stands either in buildings or did weekend markets and they referred to themselves in that way. I used to think it was tongue in cheek.

I still think he meant no harm, you didn't get to know him before you accepted your date. And to complain about where you went when you could have declined is tacky in my eyes. If you didn't like the idea, honestly, you could have even offered to make a picnic for the two of you. With the economy right now, I am sure there are many down on their luck.
 the SoldierByte
Joined: 12/25/2005
Msg: 82
why can't people just be who they are
Posted: 7/28/2009 6:37:01 PM
Jeepers Mr. Halfevl333 ,
I cannot lie....
I am AMAZED at your posts..
Almost every one, regardless the thread topic..
you simply astound me..
Do you even LIKE females..???
You quote.. that it is correct to lie/ or men must lie..
But sir... is not the REASON to lie or not irrevelant?
As the objective is to GET the woman..!!
I cannot fathom.. how many woman you attract.. lie or no lie..
Don't get me wrong...
I'll lie in a minute if I think it will "make her say yes"..
But jeepers pal.. if you tell her..
"You're pretty...................... for an ugly woman"..
every line you say to every female is promptly followed
with a put down...
How can one ever score..??
Are you real..?/ or just here to get these gals all rilied up..??
I think you and that BerthaButt id on your bio/profile may be one and the same..
And personally, I know some real bad news b-i-t-c-h-s...
but not even any of them ...would I wish you upon...(if you are real)
Forget the gals for a minute and as one guy to another..Please advise...
---SoldierByte---
 the SoldierByte
Joined: 12/25/2005
Msg: 83
why can't people just be who they are
Posted: 7/28/2009 6:54:33 PM
Well HECK ole buddy..........
send me a few of em...
I aint proud or picky...
and got no shame either...
I am a little shy...
but once I got my diaper on and...
well.... youuuuuu know..
Pleaze kind sir...
send some to me..
I promise to be both discrete and reasonable..
I PROMISE..!!
Oh yeah....
I almost forgot...
iffin you got women "commin out of the woodwork"..
what you doin here with lil chuckle-heads like me..???
---SoldierByte---
 some woman
Joined: 5/16/2007
Msg: 84
why can't people just be who they are
Posted: 7/28/2009 7:42:47 PM
When people ask for profile reviews, if anything sounds negative, most of the advice they're given is to remove it or at least put a "positive spin" on it. Since the man the OP met didn't actually lie (imo), even though what he said was pretty misleading, perhaps this is what happened with him. Or maybe he had been in a much worse situation before and had some sense of pride and self respect for working his way up as far as he had. Or maybe, like another poster suggested, he's really quite well 0ff and this was just sort of a test to see whether the OP could like him just for himself. Not that I think that would be most likely possibility or the right thing to do, but it could be what happened.

We don't all try to make ourselves sound or look better than we are. Some of us are absolutely truthful with our words and photos. Back when I was single and looking, I highlighted all the positives about myself that I could. I received my fair share of first contacts from men, just like most of the other women here. Now that I'm no longer available and have very bluntly expressed my perception of the truth about myself, I receive more email from interested men than ever before, in addition to those who only write to give me grief. I can't imagine why I hear from so many now, but maybe they just appreciate my candor and honesty.
 marrkie
Joined: 7/21/2008
Msg: 85
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why can't people just be who they are
Posted: 7/28/2009 8:53:40 PM
well put..you have it exactly right
 amethyst10616
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 86
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why can't people just be who they are
Posted: 7/29/2009 9:23:54 PM
There are some very wonderful people on here, I cannot imagine how some fish have never met up with at least one nice, authentic person.

Not everyone is shallow, not at all. We are all attracted to whom we are attracted to, it is human nature. I know my curves are not appealing to everyone and I do not care. Everyone is not appealing to me either.

Rejection is painful, to be sure, but it is a part of online dating. People make an assessment based on what little they know, sometimes an accurate one, sometimes not. Online dating is but one venue to meet others, hopefully those failing to meet others on here are pursuing other venues.
 the SoldierByte
Joined: 12/25/2005
Msg: 87
why can't people just be who they are
Posted: 7/30/2009 5:11:43 AM
Well Mr guyd42... , you say...

I’ve been on here since 2003. I’ve always been very honest and it never lead me nowhere.

Welll......
I been on here since then also and...
I've always been very dishonest and
it got ME EVERYWHERE...!!!!
(until they found out...)
wah.. wah.. wah....
I need some cheese with my whinin...
---SoldierByte---
 ColumbiaSingle
Joined: 5/20/2008
Msg: 88
why can't people just be who they are
Posted: 7/30/2009 5:52:55 AM
I think you have to be yourself if you ever expect to find someone you are compatible with. If you are different, then it may be harder but it is still worth it to be yourself and not lie.

I live in the South where a lot of people are very conservative and religious. I am not conservative or religious. I accept that if you are conservative and religious, I am not your match. It does not make a conservative religious person shallow - it is all about preferences.
 Pats Fan86
Joined: 4/9/2009
Msg: 89
why can't people just be who they are
Posted: 8/3/2009 10:35:02 PM
dude the guy from ZZ Top posted on here wow
 ~GoneSailing~
Joined: 6/5/2009
Msg: 90
why can't people just be who they are
Posted: 8/3/2009 10:38:28 PM
Snort!

oops not long enough...but I'm too bent over laughing to post anything else!
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 91
why can't people just be who they are
Posted: 8/3/2009 11:00:16 PM
Op about 15 years ago, between husbands I met a man online who flew in to met me, at the time I was so mad about how he described himself and how he actually was and now 15 years later I realize I was the person who READ into what he said, I so wanted him to be what I wanted I didnt pay close attention to what he was leaving out. He had lied about several things which was enough for me at the time since my ex always was lying I just couldnt stand being involved with someone who lied that much, but I learned to listen to what is being said and what isnt being said and not to allow my imagination to run away with me and invent someone into who I want them to be.
 Brownlady1953
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 92
why can't people just be who they are
Posted: 8/4/2009 10:01:16 PM
I did that once, too, sapphireeyes....ignored all the signs pointing to mental instability in a man, under the guise that he was just "cautious and mistrustful" because he had been hurt in the past.

NEVER AGAIN!
 amethyst10616
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 93
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why can't people just be who they are
Posted: 8/4/2009 10:56:12 PM
I am in that club too, Brownlady and Se. I did not recognize how manipulative someone could be and it was a rude and hurtful awakening, let me tell you.

I was taught to believe the best in people and I truly do try to, but I am far less naive now.
 eschec mat
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 94
why can't people just be who they are
Posted: 8/4/2009 11:25:29 PM

Because one is almost forced to lie in order to meet women. A case in point was a post I made and was severely attacked and some very nasty comments were made about my looks and what I was wearing. This shows that many women here are shallow and do not have a clue about what a person is like. They just judge by appearances and put a person down for them. If one is even the slightest bit non-mainstream he is ignored and attacked because of it.

So it is no wonder guys lie. They are forced to. I agree, a person should be able to be themselves, and not try and cover up anything about them but most shallow, self-centered, snooty, egotistical women here would not even give them the time of day if they did.
Please, and who wrote about a woman's body part being disgusting when large and you don't expect the same statements back to you? Check how you lumped all women together as not being exciting because we don't want x and all women past a certain age are boring because they won't do x. You totally generalized and criticized others. That certainly doesn't mean that you are now entitled to lie. No one forces anyone to lie. Cutting down women because you are looking for young women that haven't been there and done that doesn't make the women that defend themselves shallow, self-centered, snooty, egotistical; however, your statements seem to make you hypocritical. You get what you give. If you want honesty, you need to give it. If you want a good partner, you need to be a good partner. If you want someone attractive, you try to be attractive. Etc. etc.

As far as your looks go, look at your photo. Men as well as women have commented on your attire and outdated hair etc. Surely you can recognize that you are asking for attention by dressing in this manner and wearing your hair this way. You got the consensus about how you look. You can change your appearance.

I am big on people emailing and getting to know the person before they go out. I don't think there would be so many meet and greets and more real dates if this were the case. Perhaps there wouldn't be so many people burned out on dating too?
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 95
why can't people just be who they are
Posted: 8/5/2009 3:54:57 AM

So it is no wonder guys lie. They are forced to. I agree, a person should be able to be themselves, and not try and cover up anything about them but most shallow, self-centered, snooty, egotistical women here would not even give them the time of day if they did.


This has to take the cake to blame women for men that lie. The truth will eventually come out so what is the point to it? Deal with the truth and you will find out sooner rather than later if you are a match or not. However if just looking for a roll in the hay one might not be thinking along these lines at all.

thecatsmeoww
 rearguard*2
Joined: 2/8/2008
Msg: 96
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why can't people just be who they are
Posted: 8/5/2009 7:44:02 AM
"The truth? You can't handle the truth!"


Quote from Jack Nickelson.....
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 97
why can't people just be who they are
Posted: 8/5/2009 8:30:33 AM

"The truth? You can't handle the truth!"
Quote from Jack Nickelson.....


Ask a woman and she will tell you that she can handle it and handle it well!! However it seems like some men have a problem understanding this..

thecatsmeoww
 the SoldierByte
Joined: 12/25/2005
Msg: 98
why can't people just be who they are
Posted: 8/5/2009 9:09:50 AM

some men have a problem understanding

My Dear Ms thecatsmeoww,
What I "fail to understand" is why you delete my emails,
repeatedly call the authorities on me....
and above all else....
returned that cat suit with the kangaroo pocket
and web cam I sent you..!!!!
Cannot you even have the courtersy to accept and USE a gift..??
My IM is is on and active...
doors locked, lights low... and I'm ready..
Please "sign-in" and put ME on your "favorites" list..
---SoldierByte---
 treselle
Joined: 6/16/2005
Msg: 99
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why can't people just be who they are
Posted: 8/5/2009 9:42:22 AM
If they were who they are, they would not get what they want. Let's say a middle-aged man is ugly, short, with a body of a child, a smoker, disrespectful and into teenage girls, wants a woman. He can not just be himself - he would never get one. So, he pretends to be taller, caring, considerate, a non-smoker. He gets some women close to his age until they discover his true nature. And the women will leave him. Yet, he gets laid. Of coarse, they are women who pretend to be someones they are not. It is all advertising.....
 professora
Joined: 7/28/2008
Msg: 100
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Its a wish list.
Posted: 8/5/2009 6:29:27 PM
They arent exactly lying. they are telling you what they want to be.

by verbalizing their fantasy, it seems real to them.....and they hope you will buy it too.
 the SoldierByte
Joined: 12/25/2005
Msg: 101
why can't people just be who they are
Posted: 9/30/2009 10:32:38 AM

They arent exactly lying. they are telling you what they want to be.

by verbalizing their fantasy, it seems real to them.....and they hope you will buy it too.

Agree with ALL three of these..
if they ARE what they say..
it is NOT difficult (for them OR you) to validate..
when the "excuse's and reasons" start comming your way..
Ladies... it's time to RUN..!!!
---SoldierByte---
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