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 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 2
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Inter-racial datingPage 2 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)
My SO, fiancee' is Korean/Black. He was raised to be ashamed of his black half by his mother. Go figure, she mated with his black dad...

My oldest is half Latino.

I have extremely racist parents, therefore I will not bring my SO around them. It ticks my mom off, however I refuse to have them saying nasty shyte about the man I love. I had heard my parents bashing the hispanic race, and one time I told her, you are bashing your own granddaughter that you stated you love.

She mumbled something about my daughter NOT being Hispanic, which I told her straight up, reality is, she is half Hispanic, and deals with racism at school. Do you think as a grandmother it is loving to put down her other half? She shut up.

My kids are not racist, and the only thing they care about is that mom is happy. He and I are very happy, been together for a year, and getting married in Sept. If people have an issue, it is theirs, not ours...

It is NOT for everyone, but for me love doesn't have a race.
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 3
Inter-racial dating
Posted: 7/15/2009 12:50:19 AM
I've dated, been in love with, and married men of races different than my own. Never was an issue, and don't regret any of it. Those that match one's soul are few enough and far between that to write off a huge portion of the human race because their skin color or culture is different from yours is a chump's game.

And sure racial prejudice still exists. If you don't believe it, watch a utube of any of Palin's rallies. . . I 'spect that in some places it's still prolly dangerous. Be careful out there kiddies.

 OutMind
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 4
Inter-racial dating
Posted: 7/15/2009 7:05:04 AM
I live in Georgia. This is a rather interesting place, because when you are in an urban area, such as Roswell, or Decatur you see a great number of mixed couples, black kinds with blue eyes and blond hair. Yet you go two miles up to another county, such as Forsyth or Cherokee and the discrimination is so huge, you can even feel it through the legal system, the courts, the police. And it's not just against blacks, but latinos, Indus, Asians.
 SexyKG74
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 5
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Inter-racial dating
Posted: 7/15/2009 7:13:48 AM
Most of my relationships have been with European or white American men...and the black guy that I did have a SERIOUS relationship was very similar to me (while I of course classify myself as "black", I'm actually 1/3 Native American and am mixed with white blood...his family was Black/Native American/German)...Actually, we were each other's first "black experience" (we were both in our late 20s at the time)and I was his only black girlfriend ever...several years later, he's happily married to a white woman!

Both of my parents were previously married...I have all 1/2 brothers and sisters...on my mothers side, all of my nieces are bi-racial. If my family got togther, it's like a rainbow! I grew up in the New England area...I've never had any serious situations happen, besides looks, slight comments, or black men telling me I'm "damaged goods" because I sleep with white men...believe it or not, I've even had a couple of white American guys bash me (on this site and off-site)for dating European white men, calling them Euro-trash, so I can get it at ALL angles! But luckily, I'm a really strong woman in a mental sense where it's rather difficult to "break me down!" But I am fortunate that my family isn't racist and welcomes people of all races/religions.

I've lived in New York for 11 years where interracial dating is really common...I haven't had anything dramatic happen to me so far when I'm out with a white male...but I can honestly say 99% of the time, the type of guy who makes a rude comment or gives a weird look, they aren't my type anyway, from their physical appearance to how they carry themselves...people like that don't matter to me anyway!

I think it's challenging for ANYONE to find a potential mate that you are attracted to on the inside and out, along with "being on the same page" as to what you are looking for...I have NO clue if my next relationship will be with a black man or white man, American or European, Jew or Christian...I'm definitely NOT going to let someone keep me from having happiness!
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 7
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Inter-racial dating
Posted: 7/16/2009 5:56:20 PM
Dance, as always your wisdom is beautiful, thank you for the painting of words...


Sadly if you're an upstanding, law-abiding and well-educated ethnic person you're likely to get far more disparaging remarks from your "own" culture than from the one you're trying to associate with. The reason?


My oldest is half latino, half german (mutt), she is 25, and has endured the rejection from latinos, and whites... I seen this one time when I went to see her at her HS, some latino gals were making nasty remarks about her, I wanted to give them a swift kick, but that would have gotten me arrested...

TigerWoods0924, we whities, have our own prejudgment against each other as well. So whether it is bigotry, racism, et al, there isn't a many average people that live in this world unscathed over some unfair judgment...

In the end the things that gives us life has no stigma of color, because it has its own color from life experience. I like the shades of green and yellow... have a sneaky feeling that those who see my life energy sees those shades... Imagine the freak show I would be if that were my skin color...

Nice thoughtful post
 EdwardPartSix
Joined: 4/6/2007
Msg: 9
Inter-racial dating
Posted: 7/16/2009 9:54:40 PM

I guess my problem comes in when I look at the men out there and realize how few of them are available to me and my future... it kinda sucks.


Don't be afraid to give a white guy a chance.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 12
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Inter-racial dating
Posted: 7/17/2009 1:12:52 AM

if blacks were told how they really got here, maybe the automatic knee-jerk reaction of "hate whitey" would go away and there would be similaer numbers of whitefemale black male vs white male black female instead of what we have today.


Bugbro you make some interesting points, however unless you've walked in a persons shoe where there is flat out racism, then you may not get why there is such deep contempt.

Don't get me wrong, the racism does go both ways. However I had a black supervisor from OHSU who's sister had a cross burned on her families lawn, and constant threats for living in a predominantly white neighborhood.

My SO is half black, half Korean, and his own mother belittled him for being black... Wonderful mother, marries and mates with a black man, then belittles her two children for their race.

Sometimes it isn't about what has happened way back when, but rather what is happening right now today. It is tough when a boss discriminates against you because of your color, or gender, sexual preference et al...

I don't know how much personal contact you have had with other races, BUT sometimes there is also a cultural difference that clashes as well. My SO has been estranged from his family for 20 yrs, and has no idea where any of his family is. However he does know what it is like to have people not like him just because it is hard to really tell what his ethnicity is.

The sad reality is that there are places that still have racism alive and well, and those who are targeted feel the pain today...
 WanderingRain
Joined: 3/9/2008
Msg: 26
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Inter-racial dating
Posted: 7/19/2009 12:04:38 AM
So far, I have dated my own, White and Asian... I would love to meet and date every other race if given the chance...
 ileft
Joined: 4/25/2008
Msg: 27
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Inter-racial dating
Posted: 7/19/2009 9:09:02 AM
I come from a mixed race family and I am around people who date out of their race all the time. I have never dated a black guy and people think I am weird because of it. It's not that I don't find black men attractive it just hasn't happened yet. I think it can be beneficial also I mean it opens you up to different cultural experiences and I feel you can get the bost from both worlds.
 mortalez
Joined: 4/9/2005
Msg: 29
Inter-racial dating
Posted: 7/19/2009 10:42:22 AM
It kills me when sistaz say there are no good black men, I see them all the time, hell I amm one, but those black men that never went to college are good too. just over looked by stuck up juco girls who think they are too good.
 mortalez
Joined: 4/9/2005
Msg: 31
Inter-racial dating
Posted: 7/19/2009 3:20:41 PM

What Is Sickle Cell Anemia?

Sickle cell anemia (uh-NEE-me-uh) is a serious disease in which the body makes sickle-shaped red blood cells. “Sickle-shaped” means that the red blood cells are shaped like a "C."

Normal red blood cells are disc-shaped and look like doughnuts without holes in the center. They move easily through your blood vessels. Red blood cells contain the protein hemoglobin (HEE-muh-glow-bin). This iron-rich protein gives blood its red color and carries oxygen from the lungs to the rest of the body.

Sickle cells contain abnormal hemoglobin that causes the cells to have a sickle shape. Sickle-shaped cells don’t move easily through your blood vessels. They’re stiff and sticky and tend to form clumps and get stuck in the blood vessels. (Other cells also may play a role in this clumping process.)

The clumps of sickle cells block blood flow in the blood vessels that lead to the limbs and organs. Blocked blood vessels can cause pain, serious infections, and organ damage.


True but sickle cell has its advantages also, people with sickle cell dont get malaria
Each year, malaria attacks about 400 million people, two to three million of whom succumb to the illness. Most malaria victims are children. An understanding of the origin of sickle cell disease and several other red cell disorders requires knowledge of a few of the basics about malaria and something about the process called natural selection.
Sickle hemoglobin provides the best example of a change in the hemoglobin molecule that impairs malaria growth and development.
Sickle trait provides a survival advantage over people with normal hemoglobin in regions where malaria is endemic. Sickle cell trait provides neither absolute protection nor invulnerability to the disease. Rather, people (and particularly children) infected with P. falciparum are more likely to survive the acute illness if they have sickle cell trait. When these people with sickle cell trait procreate, both the gene for normal hemoglobin and that for sickle hemoglobin are transmitted into the next generation.
The initial hints of a relationship between the two came with the realization that the geographical distribution of the gene for hemoglobin S and the distribution of malaria in Africa virtually overlap. A further hint came with the observation that peoples indigenous to the highland regions of the continent did not display the high expression of the sickle hemoglobin gene like their lowland neighbors in the malaria belts. Malaria does not occur in the cooler, drier climates of the highlands in the tropical and subtropical regions of the world. Neither does the gene for sickle hemoglobin.
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 33
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Inter-racial dating
Posted: 7/19/2009 4:57:17 PM
depends on where your from and how your raised.
i have always dated outside my race and can't see me doing anything else anytime soon. i guess it just depends on your preference.
there is always gonna be prejudice. no matter where you go.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 35
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Inter-racial dating
Posted: 7/19/2009 7:21:21 PM

both racistly and sexistly. my experience at ohsu was horrific.


I was an X ray tech there in 89-93. My supervisor at the time was this funny (as in she was just a riot of laughs to be a round) black lady with dyed blond hair. From time to time I would get BS from men behaving like chauvinistic pigs, other wise I really loved working there. Were you a patient it sounds?? WHOA, sounds like OHSU has went down hill to the point of no return if that is how they treated you.

You are right, there is reverse racism, it is tough as well as frustrating, especially if that isn't the type of person you are.

I remember in HS, taking TV productions and having to work with this one male black student. He was one of the more annoying people I had met in my short life time. He looked at me as we worked on running the BIG OLD VHS VCR's, and said, you don't like me because I am black... I looked at him, and said, WHAT, I don't like you because you are an A hole, black has nothing to do with what I think about you.

That seemed to come as a surprise to him, but some times some people don't realize they actually may have a personality that grinds on another person.

I have heard of the experiences you talked about at the end of your posting, in fact one white gal said she had several Latino gals try to chase her down for dating one of their male Latino friends.
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 38
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Inter-racial dating
Posted: 7/20/2009 4:39:28 PM
njbubble MSG 63 is interesting. I remember about 5 yrs back I had a LTR with a Fiilipino/Chinese from Hawaii. He had hair down to his but, and had a disposition that a pit bull would be proud to have.

One time he and I were arguing outside of a restaurant, and several older white men wanted to come to MY AID, and kick his butt. I felt embarrassed, and even worse that I was in a stupid argument in public that would draw attention.

My SO draws a lot of looks, both positive, and Racist. He, my son and I went to the movies, and were leaving when a "country boy" was looking him over in a very serious and negative way. I am sure he wouldn't have tried picking a fight with my SO because he's a very muscular man, however there is still stigma of racism that seems to be alive and well no matter where people are.

One poster, posted how frustrating it was to see educated black me with white women; I can ONLY imagine how that feels, but I personally don't know what it feels like.

My SO told me he has not dated a black woman before, which would seem odd to most, however knowing how abused he was by his mother, (and his father) for not being a pure Korean, and being black more than likely has tainted his choices.

We did sit down and pick out black women that he found attractive, therefore it seems to me his choices are wired because of his mothers dislike of his black side. Heck the poor guy hasn't bothered to get to know any of that side of his family, and only knows that his Fathers mom was a mistress to his grandfather. Probably another blot in his mind as to why he doesn't embrace and love all of his heritage.

Personally I feel sad that he feels that way, because his mother made a conscious choice when she chose HIS father. For her to treat him and his sister poorly, because of that part of them says a LOT about what kind of messed up woman she is/was...
 SexyKG74
Joined: 3/15/2009
Msg: 39
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Inter-racial dating
Posted: 7/20/2009 5:53:54 PM
Mortalez, unfortunately, I hear black women on a regular basis bad mouth "black men"...instead of making a comment about "the black men who do negative things", there's a difference! Let's face it, on one hand, statistics do not lie, YET that doesn't mean that EVERY black male you encounter falls within this demographic.

I can only speak for myself...everyone has different situations...just because I've dated white American/white European men for the most part does not mean I go around bashing all black males. Something that I actually DO hate is if a black man who sees himself as a good man (and he may rightfully be) will get angry with me if I'm not interested in him, it's almost as if black women are suppose to be "on reserve" for black men...I've actually been insulted, even called a b*tch, when I politely turn down a black male "who says he's a good catch." Has anyone every wanted to date EVERY person just because they were called a "good decent person?!". At the end of the day, if I'm not attracted to someone physically AND attracted to his personality/way of life, I'm not going to be interested...no matter what his race may be. I've turned down a lot of white males too, by the way. I sometimes think when people see a black women with a white male, they automatically assume they flock to every white male who gives them a little attention...not me!
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 40
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Inter-racial dating
Posted: 7/20/2009 6:07:25 PM

Has anyone every wanted to date EVERY person just because they were called a "good decent person?!". At the end of the day, if I'm not attracted to someone physically AND attracted to his personality/way of life, I'm not going to be interested...no matter what his race may be.


KG, you hit on that very thing a good number of NICE PEOPLE don't get, and that is that the person of THEIR hearts desire, has to actually be interested in you as well. This forum is filled to max capacity of people biotching that they are getting passed up, and it is because these people want X, Y or Z, and or they don't know what they really want...

WTF!!!!! IF we don't want to date them, then automatically we don't know what we want, OR we want to date some bad person??? case of sour grapes, no more, no less.

I have met men who figured that their possessions would be the key to them catching someone, especially men who LIE about their age, then show me picks of all the things they OWN. As if that makes up for the lie, and I am looking for some guy that has no personality, but a LOT of objects...

People are funny in what they assume of others, and it is really sad that they come on a dating site thinking if they LIKE someone, it will be mutual... I always put in to whine posts, this is NOT a catalog ordering site, people are free to like, or not like whom ever, just as these people are.

 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 44
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Inter-racial dating
Posted: 7/20/2009 10:11:43 PM

maybe i'm not good looking and the girls i do approach are trying to be nice and tell me that they prefer "white men"....or caucasian men but its kind of getting annoying hearing the same excuse.


BrownLikeChocolate , if don't mind my asking what is your nationality??? You look like you have middle Eastern decent, and if that is the case then at this moment you are taking on cultural stigmatism. stereotyping, prejudice. There is a fear that the men of that culture treat their women extremely bad, therefore you aren't given the chance, simply because of race and culture. Then add in the fact that America has been at war with Middle Easterners for a very long time, and it creates a LOT of prejudices.

People can say they aren't racist, but in reality most people carry some sort of racism, especially when there is war time.

In WWII Japanese and German were imprisoned, because fear of both cultures were here in the US to do no good. Little do a lot of people know that Germans were encamped far longer than the Japanese, because they were harder to discern from other European races.

We have been at war with the Middle East for an extremely long time, and all the negative stereotypes are alive and well.

Fair??? No, this is based on fear and ignorance, and the Middle Eastern culture is now the culture to shun and carry a prejudice against, simply because.

Just keep trying, and realize there are people that have their reasons for behaving the way they do, and others are prejudice just because of fear, and ignorance. The best you can do is educate... You'd be surprised how people can change with education.

I know this is one of those posts that some would deny, and others would feel annoyed that someone would be willing to say what is still alive and well in this country, but as someone that has been single as long as I have, I have chatted with a LOT of people...
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 49
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Inter-racial dating
Posted: 7/21/2009 10:01:34 PM
No prob Brownlikechocolate.

Yes it is very sad, however the reality it isn't anything new, but in some ways things are getting better; for some, for others it is a disheartening experience.

All a person can do is help change one persons mind at a time. It takes time, and for some a lot of effort, for others there is NO changing them.

Hang in there we all have times where dating is for the birds, then other times where it is raining the opposite gender...
 texasbaby
Joined: 7/21/2005
Msg: 50
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Inter-racial dating
Posted: 7/23/2009 11:02:03 AM
Lol,, Dance, I expect women love you regardless of where you are...

Where I live it's very common to see Hispanic women with Caucasian men... But, I expect it's always been the case in Texas.

tb
 nexthyme
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 51
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Posted: 7/23/2009 1:35:56 PM
Dance you'd be a pure blooded American if you are born and raised here, with an underlying mixture of good ol MUTT...

It's ok, I'm a mutt too, have some royal entanglements in three different races, yippy skippy...

I'm still a good ol 100% pure blood American mutt.

What makes me proud is that I live on my own terms; obviously not to crazy or I'd be locked up somewhere, or being beaten in jail.

Have a drink of what ever floats you boat, and enjoy being a pure blooded American Mutt.
Besides that blue blood, only mix with your own kind has killed off many royals, and countries for that matter. Inner breeding has never been a real positive in the animal world, and we are some of the biggest baddest wildest animals you could meet...
 LustForLaughs
Joined: 6/29/2009
Msg: 52
Inter-racial dating
Posted: 7/25/2009 11:54:15 AM
Hello friends,
In my experience most people are open to interracial dating, however when it comes to online dating, people usually prefer somebody from their own ethnicity.I have girls repeatedly telling me that your profile is nice, but I am looking for a Caucasian guy.
I respect that.
Just the puzzle is why when people are so open to interracial dating in real world, when it comes online, they kind of freeze up?

is this a trust issue?

share your opinion.
 thwipp89
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 57
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Inter-racial dating
Posted: 9/21/2009 10:32:34 AM
i've dated, inter-racially. i haven't encountered any problems and i didn't care who liked it or didn't. a pretty girl is a pretty girl and a nice person is a nice person, color be damned. if someone has a problem, that's their problem, not mine.
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