Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > stood up on my first date.      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 coveredinpaint
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 18
stood up on my first date.Page 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
It's the same old song and dance. Everyone here is looking for someone who just slightly out of their league. I guess they figure that with so many "fish", they can aim a little higher than they normally would. So this guy probably asked you out, knowing he was still fishing for something better, but when it came time for the date, he had found someone he felt was superior to you, and left you in the lurch for her. Sucks, don't it?
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 19
view profile
History
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/20/2009 8:23:26 AM
i second that.
its one thing to post your opinion its another to be a jackass and try be malicious.
doucher.
 bigc1987
Joined: 3/26/2008
Msg: 20
view profile
History
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/20/2009 8:39:26 AM
Yeah ive been there before the worst is when its not an online date but someone you know from frequenting a bar or youve met and hung out with before...Ive had women stand me up when ive bought tickets to comedy shows and concerts .. One even asked me for my address so she could mapquest it and then didnt show..The kicker is ive had them even stand me up and then when im at the local bar /club they run up and give me a huge hug im talkin jumped on me legs wrapped around and all when i didnt even realize they were in the bar yet.. Acting like everything is fine without so much as an im sorry or explanation or anything and me not wanting to be mean in front of mutual friends let it go and dont say anything....
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 21
view profile
History
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/20/2009 5:33:38 PM

passed when i looked at the clock until i realized that i am just gonna take myself on a date tonight. which i did.

Good for you, that's exactly what you should have done!
 christ on a crutch
Joined: 2/1/2009
Msg: 22
view profile
History
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/23/2009 3:02:50 PM

I had in a 1 month periode been stood up 5 times by different dates.


were you making sure there were day-of-date confirmation calls? don't leave home without 'em.
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 23
view profile
History
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/23/2009 4:44:04 PM
OP - it happens to ALL of us who have tried online dating. This guy is as low as it gets. He has no manners, he has no class. Thankfully, you didn't have another minute invested with this moron. I can understand one not making it to a date if there is an emergency, they are dead, or in the hospital, but, if it is outside of that criteria, and there's no phone call, there will be no second chance.
 Sharlena
Joined: 7/13/2009
Msg: 24
view profile
History
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/28/2009 5:51:18 AM
once again i can't say it enough thankyou everyone for all the advice. seriously i have really appreciated it all.
now i definitely know what to do for next time.
 ChocGirl...
Joined: 4/1/2009
Msg: 25
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 7/29/2009 4:50:47 PM
This has happened to me once also...Didnt get a answer why either...just got cold
feet...Move on...
 NYCman530
Joined: 7/6/2009
Msg: 26
view profile
History
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 11/22/2009 2:45:52 PM
Sharlena, if this guy didn't have enough class to text you or call you to say he couldn't make it, he's certainly not worth your while. It's his loss, not yours. You can do better. Perhaps he's hiding something, a signifigant other, a wife, and he's just playing games. You're better off without him.
 spunkybum52
Joined: 9/8/2009
Msg: 27
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 11/26/2009 12:38:30 AM
Well he obviously changed his mind about you and thought the silent treatment was best. That is men's way of dealing with things. Women would usually text to say something, but a lot of men don't bother. If he would have said sorry I can't make it tonight, then that would leave it open for him to maybe meet up "another" time. He probably didn't want that. I say if he can't speak up and say he's not interested, and doesn't answer your calls or messages, leave him. He didn't know how to say no, or how to tell you he wasn't interested. That's why he lead you on. He didn't know how to handle it. Move on.
 BlueEyes1712
Joined: 4/24/2008
Msg: 28
view profile
History
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 11/26/2009 5:17:58 AM
I am sorry about the loss you experienced. I think too much information was given up before you actually met which you could share in real life. He may have gotten to know you , too much too soon over internet/phone and real life may not match up to expectaions. I would only devulge enough information to stay interesting, so you leave lots of space to talk about while you meet and are together. The objective is to share things together, if you dont get to see them, your in a virtual relationship. Remember constant phone calls makes you seem clingy and insecure and no one wants that.
 DIVISION77
Joined: 8/10/2009
Msg: 29
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 11/26/2009 1:56:55 PM
Welcome to the club.

Women do this all the time...........

It's called "dropping off" and it's classic internet behaviour.

Alot of people don't have any intention of meeting anyone online, it's just a game for them and the people they talk to are disposable entertainment.

I have no idea why people do this..........esp the married people, but it's very common online.

Until you actually meet someone in person, you really have no idea who they are regardles of what they've said.



 HD Red Lantern
Joined: 11/16/2009
Msg: 30
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 12/1/2009 12:31:13 PM
Maybe he died on his way to meet you? say, a traffic accident?
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 32
view profile
History
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 12/1/2009 10:48:49 PM
Sorry, you were cancelled last minute. That is different than being stood up.

Aw, this is from a week ago. LOL.
 DIVISION77
Joined: 8/10/2009
Msg: 33
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 12/12/2009 10:12:48 PM

It's the same old song and dance. Everyone here is looking for someone who just slightly out of their league. I guess they figure that with so many "fish", they can aim a little higher than they normally would. So this guy probably asked you out, knowing he was still fishing for something better, but when it came time for the date, he had found someone he felt was superior to you, and left you in the lurch for her. Sucks, don't it?


I think that happens some of the time, but nowhere near ALL the time.

People are flaky and it only takes a few months of internet dating to come to that conclusion.

I don't know why these guys chicken out, because most guys are more than happy to meet available women.

I'd chalk it up to bad luck.

Don't give up, though, if you are open and positive you'll attract a decent man.


 redheadruby
Joined: 11/24/2009
Msg: 34
view profile
History
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 3/8/2010 2:29:36 PM
"If a guy sees a profile of a 21 year old model who likes older men, he should be careful. It's probably a 14 year old pimple face boy."

Well Ketch......you certainly made me laugh with that one. To the OP......when your value system is one of respect and forthrightness it's impossible to understand the behavior of someone who doesn't possess the same. You only really learn about someone's true character through their behavior face to face. It is easy to get caught up in wonderful emails and provocative texts....but to do so before meeting is a recipe for disappointment. You let him know in your voicemail that a simple explanation would have been sufficient. When I first entered this strange world I had a date scheduled with someone I had spoken to and emailed for a few weeks. He made a point of asking me to spend the day with him...I rearranged my schedule in order to do so.....and the morning of...we were supposed to touch base and I never heard from him. I didn't make the trip to see him....I sent him one email after one phone call...and that email simply said - I'm a grown up.....and if you changed your mind all you had to do was let me know. He emailed to apologize.....his explanation...he decided I lived too far away to pursue.....my reaction - why on earth would he hesitate to let me know that.....that is an understandable issue....but as everybody else has said....any 'data' you get on someone's character and behavior is best gotten earlier. Don't loose your optimism or let the behavior of someone alter your values or expectations. Just learn......
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 35
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 3/8/2010 4:52:23 PM
Well, there's stood up and then there's *stood up* lol! Couple of years ago, I wuz talking to this fine forumite. The meet was an hour and a half away from each of us. I got there about five minutes early, used the side door to see to the lady's room, then went into the restaurant. He had a cell, but I don't because they don't work here. I waited two hours, and then called. Turns out, *he* had waited two hours, too. . . . He'd gotten the time wrong, and showed up at 10 o'clock. I showed, as scheduled, at noon. He was leaving as I was relieving, :grin: We discovered that we were both able to take a bit of adversity with some patience, and no blaming. The date happened the next week, and was lovely: lasted twelve hours. WE didn't take, but a good time was had. We both subsequently found others that suited us better.

That's as close as I've ever come to being stood up. I have had numerous fellas drop out of email convos without a word of good bye, but that's what the screening period is for, eh?

 arturoxyz
Joined: 10/21/2009
Msg: 36
view profile
History
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 12/8/2010 10:31:38 AM
welcome to the stood up club
i'm not only the president but i'm also a client.
 Email Tom Now
Joined: 9/17/2010
Msg: 37
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 12/8/2010 3:11:54 PM
Valerie, msg 103

"I think some men just chicken out, their bones go limp and they sliver across the floor until they can't find the strength to face you."

those aren't real men.

those are males that linedance, cut their sub sandwiches in half and watch "the notebook" without a woman present.

when i go to a club i work the whole room from back to front first.
 JSNC7
Joined: 10/31/2010
Msg: 38
view profile
History
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 12/8/2010 3:20:44 PM
I'm sorry to hear that you were dissapointed, and that your date didn't show up.

Now for the confusing part.... Your profile clearly states, and I directly quote you,
" not single guys.not looking. sorry. Please guys I am seriously not looking for a bf. >. "

Apparently, there's something you forgot to mention in your post, and possibly to the man that was a no show on a date, that contradicts with your profile.

Did your profile have that quote long BEFORE your date, or did you place your quote just before you anticipated meeting this man ?

In either scenario, something doesn't quite feel right to me.
 safn1949
Joined: 6/19/2007
Msg: 39
view profile
History
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 12/10/2010 6:30:28 PM
Better then what I did,in 1974 I went overseas to Germany in the Army at the ripe old age of 19.Sent a letter to a gal I was seeing and never heard back from her so after awhile I just went on with it.

2 years later I go home and see her,ask her why she never wrote me back."You forgot to put your return address on the letter" she said.So we never got together seriously because I was a dumbass at 19.....ouch,lesson learned.I still wonder how she is doing and have not seen her in 33 years.

I would guess that a lot of times guys and gals are talking to more then one person as has been stated.It's just plan rude to stand someone up on purpose and that person is immature and selfish.
 arturoxyz
Joined: 10/21/2009
Msg: 40
view profile
History
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 12/11/2010 1:37:06 AM
@ whenwillthiswork26

woman could be just as ****y
even worse, more picky
 iamthstuff
Joined: 10/13/2004
Msg: 41
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 12/11/2010 8:56:04 AM
Maybe he just chickened out.

http://easydatingadvice.blogspot.com/2010/12/first-date.html
 licoricecat_1
Joined: 11/23/2008
Msg: 42
view profile
History
stood up on my first date.
Posted: 12/11/2010 11:27:03 AM
Sharlena,
Rude and no manners, I would say.
Dishonest and a game player.
Legitimate and got side-tracked.

Do you have his number. I sometimes got satisfaction calling him up and asking what happened and giving him a chance to explain. If he just doesn't care, I would tell him that this was mean and insensitive and please don't do it again in the future to someone else. Then let it go. You planted a seed hopefully.
Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > stood up on my first date.