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Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 28
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excuses or lies? Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Always trust your gut instinct when it says something is fishy. With that said, I have to admit I would probably run to a friend's side if she/he needed me because of an accident. He called you, didn't leave you hanging. He could have been on his way to meet you when the friend called. Maybe he was flustered and wasn't thinking straight. I wouldn't stop to take you with me as someone suggested. I would never get in a car with someone I didn't know, nor would I expect someone else to. He did ask to reschedule which means he does want to meet you. You are the only one who can answer if he sounded sincere or not. It sounds as if you have already made up your mind about this man. I wouldn't be so ready to judge him but I am a forgiving soul and if I really liked someone, I would give him another chance. That is unless my intuition tells me something doesn 't feel right. Then I say "Off with his head!"
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 32
excuses or lies?
Posted: 7/19/2009 5:37:49 PM

I would never get in a car with someone that I do not know, nor would I have wanted to go along. I think it was something in his manner that turned me off.

No one said you should get into the car with him only that he could have offered. Most men I have spoken with are not afraid of the women that they are meeting.. However your last sentence about his manner speaks miles to why you felt the way you did.

As the saying goes.. NEXT!

Joined: 6/22/2007
Msg: 37
excuses or lies?
Posted: 7/19/2009 7:33:20 PM
The people I have met online or even emailed or have spoken to on the phone have been a Hugh disappointment.I am thinking that I will be better off by myself but that's not what i think is the best for me. I am eternally hopeful but is this like looking for a four leaf clover?
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 40
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excuses or lies?
Posted: 7/19/2009 10:56:27 PM
I call "abuse of forums" on this OP. These forums are for "adding" our insights and opinions, not back-and-forth chat - which is what this OP does in all forums (I've read)by most often responding, judging, agreeing or correcting *almost every* others' post.

The man talked to the OP three times on the phone.
The man picked another activity over the OP.
The man called and apologized and asked to reschedule.
The OP is too infantile to wait out the reschedule and meet or not and THEN start the thread.
The OP is Not Understanding The Situation (think "acronym", dear readers)
Joined: 8/11/2008
Msg: 43
excuses or lies?
Posted: 7/20/2009 5:12:31 AM
Interesting responses here.

I have had numerous dates cancelled, none quite so last minute as this and yes, sometimes my "radar" tells me the excuse is not the real truth.

But, how I usually handle it is by first giving them a benefit of a doubt and sending them an email reassuring them that I would like to reschedule. I have found that some guys when they cancel for legitimate reasons, think that women automatically will think they are a heel and won't give them a second chance (and from some of these responses, I think that might be true) and so they won't contact the woman again out of assumption of rejection due to their cancellation. I don't know if that last long sentence made sense! LOL!

I had a guy who actually cancelled on me twice! But he was also very clear that he really did want to see me, and did eventually set up a date.

Yes, I have had a few that flaked out on me and didn't seem sincere and weren't but I don't get all worked up over it because if they didn't want me, why would I want them?
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 44
excuses or lies?
Posted: 7/20/2009 6:15:11 AM
This has happened to me twice. They probably got cold feet. Who knows? Who cares? Do not dwell on it, OP. It is his loss, not yours.
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 45
excuses or lies?
Posted: 7/20/2009 8:57:49 AM

I do not know where you got this half information, but like google, it can be dangerous.

Check out the law in the state of Ohio. The cases I stated the two people were totally delusional. I know only the history of one of them. That one had suffered a major seizure and thought the ambulance drivers with robbers invading his home. He was focused on the red light and was very combative. He also had recently suffered a major stroke 3 months prior during a quadruple bi-pass.

Joined: 8/29/2007
Msg: 47
excuses or lies? (OT)
Posted: 7/20/2009 2:10:14 PM was big deal!
For was just canceling date.
Joined: 12/8/2007
Msg: 48
excuses or lies?
Posted: 8/1/2009 6:35:37 PM
I offer this story...I was on a first date meeting when my car was broadsided at an intersection. After the inital daze and seeing if I was ok/ alive/ no broken bones/not bleeding that I could see/ calling my best friend for help!/ I called the person I was supposed to meet who was only 2 blocks away. As I waited for the ambulance and EMT's to arrive to confirm that I was not hurt in a life threatening way...I also hoped that the person I was meeting would arrive to see if I was realllllly hurt. He did not. Nor did he call later to see if in fact I was ok . I find THAT not acceptable. I could have been dead for all he knew.

In answer to your question.. no... he is a liar. No show, not making another time to meet..never by. I mean... heck.. I CALLED in the middle of being IN a major accident!
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 50
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excuses or lies?
Posted: 8/1/2009 8:55:58 PM
It doesn't matter anymore, what was offensive was the very last minute, I mean on the dot of the meeting,cancelation. I really could care less now. We did not reschedule. We all would go help a friend, I have said that over and over. I would go help my child or a friend, the timing was very suspect. We have exhausted this subject, IMO.

The are two views, either he was lying or he had to go and help someone at a very coincidental time. I usually do give the benefit of the doubt, but my radar told me that it was very fishy. Like I said, it no longer matters and I am done with this subject. Maybe I overreacted, but lots of things came into to play here and I usually find my radar to be spot on.

Live and learn, and c'est la vie.
Joined: 4/11/2012
Msg: 51
excuses or lies?
Posted: 5/6/2012 2:55:08 PM
They lie about being in car accidents. deaths of family members, illness - everything to manipulate you into hanging on to you. It's always best that they don't return a phone call, instead of hearing the horrifying dishonest excuses.
Joined: 7/23/2009
Msg: 52
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excuses or lies?
Posted: 5/6/2012 8:38:51 PM
I have not had this experience ever again, and it is interesting to read all of the posts from so long ago. I now visit with someone on the phone more than once before agreeing to meet them in person. I listen to my inner rader still, and to be honest, it is rarely wrong.
Joined: 3/22/2012
Msg: 53
excuses or lies?
Posted: 5/6/2012 9:59:50 PM
This brings me back to a story that happened to a good friend of mine. She was one that could smell a rat 10 miles away. She is also very good-looking.
She was supposed to meet a guy for a date (first meet) at a pub. When she came in there were only four other people there.....all were men. She noticed that none looked like the guy that she was supposed to meet and so she decided to wait it out. While looking around something caught her attention. One of the guys was pointing his cellphone at her and looking like he was taking her pic!! She immediately turned her back to him and sat there wondering WTF???? Then...ahhhhhh! Lights went on. He was going to send the pic to the man she was supposed to meet! Was HE sitting somewhere nearby waiting to see what she looked like when his friend sent the pic? Piqued, she got up, dropped her money and marched out into the parking lot. Looked around and saw a vehicle with a man sitting in it. He was looking down at something and didn't see her walk up. She walked up to the car and saw it was the man she was supposed to meet. She knocked on the window and startled the Hell out of him. The poor little mouse didn't stand a chance. All he could do was squeak when she nicely chewed him out and left.
How many times did this guy do this? Be a no-show? Probably lots if she didn't come up to his expectations.
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 54
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excuses or lies?
Posted: 5/7/2012 10:06:56 AM
It's just possible, I suppose. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt once, maybe, if I wasn't annoyed about it or felt he was lying. If your instinct tells you he was lying, write him off. It's just rude not to turn up when you say you are going to. He's not worth it. He's telling you that he's not worth it by making excuses and not turning up, having confirmed shortly before. There are lot more guys out there who have manners and will turn up and be respectful. Don't take his treatment of you as being the norm and the way other guys will treat you. There is no rational explanation for what attracts one person to another and the next guy may well be the opposite of this guy.
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