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 bbomb29
Joined: 8/21/2007
Msg: 101
Favorite Family Guy LinesPage 5 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
When they break through the wall at the Kool-Aid Mans house and the Kool-Aid man says "Wow from the other side that's kind of annoying"
 j_goose
Joined: 9/22/2007
Msg: 102
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 10/14/2007 2:53:59 PM
When they show the people from the future talking about "ancient Quahog"...

"anyone have any questions"

"Yeah, I don't get it, when the baby talks, do they understand him, or what?"

and

When they find The Corys (haim and feldman) living in the sewer.

And "Guns don't kill people...dangeruos minorities kill people"
 Debaser21
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 103
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 10/16/2007 3:08:44 AM
During Peter's interview flashback

Interviewer: "so Peter where do you see yourself in 5 - 10 years

Peter thinks to himself: 'Don't say doin your wife, don't say doin your wife'

Peter: uhhhhh

Peter looks over to the interviewers family portrait

Peter: "doin your....son"

Interviewer has surprised expression
 j_goose
Joined: 9/22/2007
Msg: 104
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 10/16/2007 10:11:25 PM
peter: That reminds me of the time when I had that job as the sneeze guard at the salad bar

Flash to peter dressed in a security uniform standing at a buffet. Old lady walks up...

Peter: Take it outside, lady.
 j_goose
Joined: 9/22/2007
Msg: 105
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 10/28/2007 8:02:59 PM
Peter: So what do ya ant me to do...whack a guy...off a guy...whack off a guy, cause ya know I'm married....
 dare1969
Joined: 9/27/2007
Msg: 106
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Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 11/2/2007 12:30:11 AM
Peter: Just don't forget our deal, Lois. I sit through this and later tonight I get anal. You hear me? No matter how neat I want the house, you have to clean it.
 THEONE3271
Joined: 1/28/2007
Msg: 107
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 11/2/2007 2:24:57 AM
whos leg do i gotta hump to get a dry martini around here
 dare1969
Joined: 9/27/2007
Msg: 108
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Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 11/12/2007 11:33:37 PM
Peter: Kids, your mother and I have decided that we are gonna help you two get out in to dating world. ... Meg ,when I get through with you, you're gonna be beating guys off with both hands!
 dare1969
Joined: 9/27/2007
Msg: 109
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Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 11/13/2007 6:28:17 PM
[during a romantic dinner]
Lois: [seductively] You know, I'm not wearing any panties.
Peter: Don't worry. We can always throw that chair out.
 tattooed_pariah
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 110
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 11/14/2007 6:35:16 PM
My apologies for not reading all 7 pages to make sure this wasn't already posted, but Brian is my favorite character from the show, for the same reasons Bender is my favorite Futurama character.. they're both drunks with quick wit, sarcasm, love having a good time and know more than most people give em credit for..

anyway, back to the topic, one of my favorite Brian lines is from Season 5 I believe, it's the episode where Brian takes Meg to the school dance and he gets loaded and says:

Brian: "you know Connie, I think I have a theory about why you're such a b*tch."
Connie: "Excuse me?"
Meg: "Brian Let's just go."
Brian: "no, no, no no no, hang on Meg, hang on. You see Connie, you're popular because you developed early and started giving h*ndj*bs when you were twelve and now you can't stand to look at yourself in the mirror because all you see is a wh*re. So you pick on Meg to avoid the inevitable realization that once your body's used up by age 19 you're going to be a worn out, chalky skinned burlap sack that even your stepdad won't want. how's that? am i in the ballpark?"



i love that bit..
 Darknight1984
Joined: 8/7/2007
Msg: 111
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Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 11/14/2007 9:52:54 PM
Osama Bin Laden "Look who is laughing the guy who could not do a suicide bombing because he has a note from the doctor. It 's a suicide bombing."

Peter "Attention restaurant customers. Testicals that is all."

Stewie "You know mother life is like a box of chocolates you never know what you are going to get, your life however is like a box of active grenades."


Quagmire "Hello 911 ? Yeah its Quagmire.... it's stuck in a window this time"

Lois: So doctor, is Peter healthy?
Doctor: My goodness, you'll be dead within a month.
Peter: What?
Doctor (revealing comic he was reading): Oh, Hagar the Horrible, if you keep up that lifestyle of pillaging and eating giant turkey legs, you'll be dead within a month. Now, onto you.
Peter: So, what do you think? Pretty healthy, eh?
Doctor: Well, Mr. Griffin, let's take a look at your physical results. Argh! There's a spider in here. Now, here we go. Mr Griffin, you're going to expire in a month.
Peter/Lois: Argh!
Doctor: This is your driver's licence, isn't it? Now, unfortunately, I'm afraid you're going to die...
Peter: Argh!
Doctor: ...when you watch these Dean Martin Celebrity Roasts.
Lois: Will you just tell us how Peter's health is?!
Doctor: Ah, Mr. Griffin, I'm not quite sure how to say this. Kim Bassinger? Bass singer? Bassinger? But now, onto the cancer.
Lois: Oh my goodness!
Doctor: You are a Cancer, right? You were born in July? Now onto these test results. My, they're much worse than I thought.
Peter/Lois: Oh!
Doctor: My son got a D minus on his history test. Now Mr Griffin, that liver's got to come out.
Lois: What?!
Doctor: It's been in the microwave for three minutes, it'll get dry. Now-
Lois: Please, please, we can't take any more schtick.. Please just tell us, is Peter healthy?
Doctor: Oh, yeah, he's fine, he's just really fat.
 ktk2
Joined: 5/6/2006
Msg: 112
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Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 11/17/2007 5:02:17 AM
giggagity giggagity will go down in the anals of history of sleazedom.. wait a minute I meant annals hhhahahaha... damn remember the episode where Lois goes over to Quagmires place and he has his EAZY button that turns his place into man whoredom? Fn hilarious...
 ktk2
Joined: 5/6/2006
Msg: 113
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Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 11/17/2007 5:05:06 AM
Quagmire "Hello 911 ? Yeah its Quagmire.... it's stuck in a window this time"
Im still laughing at that one

That doctor good news bad news was brilliant...
 ktk2
Joined: 5/6/2006
Msg: 114
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Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 11/19/2007 4:29:16 PM
The episode where Patrick (Lois's psycho fat guy killing brother) comes home to the house full of fat guys.
Stewie: Oh hell, I bet you guys can't even find your penises. Heeyy, find your penis for a dollar.
 Mandeville55
Joined: 10/9/2007
Msg: 115
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 11/20/2007 3:56:05 PM
Land of the free and home of the Whopper.
 s2locke
Joined: 11/30/2007
Msg: 116
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Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 1/2/2008 11:04:16 AM
TASTY JUICE!
DRINK IT
AND CONVERT IT TO PEE!
 downforit2007
Joined: 12/12/2006
Msg: 117
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Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 1/9/2008 3:29:34 PM
My favorite episode from Family Guy(I recorded all the episodes!)is when Peter and his family meet the family of s, who invite them over for dinner after Peter saved the guy's life out in the ocean ("I thought his bathing suit washed off!" Peter exclaims.). After the dinner, Chris is sitting in the car muttering "Boobies!" over and over again! Lois warns him to stop, but he won't. Finally, Peter and Lois put on their thick protective glasses and Lois flashes him with a deneuralizer from the Men In Black movies, making him think they just came back from the zoo.

Priceless! hahahahahahaha!
 downforit2007
Joined: 12/12/2006
Msg: 118
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Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 1/9/2008 3:38:44 PM
How about the one where Peter Griffin poses as a high-school student undercover in order to expose the toad-licking phase going around school?(Don't ask me how the toad-licking thing started.)
The musical that Peter sings in front of the student body is priceless.

"Buddy, give it up...give up the toad now...ooh, ooh, ooh..."

And how Peter got to have the principal agree with his undercover task.

PETER: And that's my plan! What do you think?

PRINCIPAL: All you did was sit down and say, 'That's my plan.'

 cr4zybeauty
Joined: 12/7/2007
Msg: 119
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 1/11/2008 4:28:09 PM
I love the one about the hams!

Guy: You can't park your van on the diving board.
Lois: That's not our van; that's my son.
Guy: Oh, I'm sorry. Tom! It's just a fat kid!
 musicfan1980
Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 120
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 6/15/2008 12:48:44 AM
Peter: By the way Lois, I got a piercing over there. I'm not going to tell you where but I will give you a hint--it wasn't on my nose or my ear and it was one of my balls.
 MariusCesar
Joined: 6/2/2008
Msg: 121
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 6/15/2008 10:29:43 PM
Brain clapping: Bravo... you are the spalding gray of crap.
 Cupid Is Blind
Joined: 11/17/2007
Msg: 122
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 6/16/2008 12:40:00 AM
Peter & Lois decide it's high time Meg and Chris start dating...

Lois to Chris "Don't worry Chris, I'm gonna get you a girl that smokes...Cuz if she smokes...she pokes"

Peter to Meg "By the time I'm done with you Meg you'll be beating off guys with both hands!"

...And the Parents of the Year Award goes to... hehehehehe
 Cupid Is Blind
Joined: 11/17/2007
Msg: 123
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 6/16/2008 1:11:01 AM
From the episode where Quagmire loses his license to fly...

After shaggin' the ticket taker lady...

Quagmire: We understand you have a lot of choices when it comes to having sex and I'd just like to thank you personally for choosing Air Quagmire

(pause)

Oh and remember when I told you I put that condom on.....

I lied...Ain't I a stinker??

 James_in_SD
Joined: 7/3/2006
Msg: 124
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 6/16/2008 8:15:17 AM
I am the absolute ruler of the Land of Make-Believe!... What the...? What kind of frickin' king lives next to the railroad? What is this, Mexico?
 James_in_SD
Joined: 7/3/2006
Msg: 125
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 6/16/2008 8:19:34 PM
Ohhh... you would not BELIEVE the morning I've had...
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