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Joined: 3/23/2008
Msg: 101
Favorite Family Guy LinesPage 5 of 12    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12)
Peter: By the way Lois, I got a piercing over there. I'm not going to tell you where but I will give you a hint--it wasn't on my nose or my ear and it was one of my balls.
Joined: 6/2/2008
Msg: 102
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 6/15/2008 10:29:43 PM
Brain clapping: Bravo... you are the spalding gray of crap.
 Cupid Is Blind
Joined: 11/17/2007
Msg: 103
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 6/16/2008 12:40:00 AM
Peter & Lois decide it's high time Meg and Chris start dating...

Lois to Chris "Don't worry Chris, I'm gonna get you a girl that smokes...Cuz if she smokes...she pokes"

Peter to Meg "By the time I'm done with you Meg you'll be beating off guys with both hands!"

...And the Parents of the Year Award goes to... hehehehehe
 Cupid Is Blind
Joined: 11/17/2007
Msg: 104
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 6/16/2008 1:11:01 AM
From the episode where Quagmire loses his license to fly...

After shaggin' the ticket taker lady...

Quagmire: We understand you have a lot of choices when it comes to having sex and I'd just like to thank you personally for choosing Air Quagmire


Oh and remember when I told you I put that condom on.....

I lied...Ain't I a stinker??

Joined: 7/3/2006
Msg: 105
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 6/16/2008 8:15:17 AM
I am the absolute ruler of the Land of Make-Believe!... What the...? What kind of frickin' king lives next to the railroad? What is this, Mexico?
Joined: 7/3/2006
Msg: 106
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 6/16/2008 8:19:34 PM
Ohhh... you would not BELIEVE the morning I've had...
 shadow of fate
Joined: 5/12/2008
Msg: 107
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 6/25/2008 3:33:19 AM
from the episode "road to rhode island": brian- well uh shouldent we say something?

stewie- and yay god said unto abraham you shall kill your first born, and abraham replied "what? I cant hear you, you have to speak into the mike." and then god said "hows this?" and abraham said unto him "thats better but check the line your getting a little too much feed back down here." and then god said " check check mike test one two one two..............."
Joined: 5/8/2008
Msg: 108
view profile
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 6/25/2008 4:45:30 PM
"Sooooo... you got money to buy a fake mustache huh ?"
Joined: 3/20/2008
Msg: 109
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 6/25/2008 7:03:20 PM
Stew Griffin: [after having sex with Fran] Um... that's never happened before.
Fran: Which part? The eight seconds of sex or the 45 minutes of crying?
Stew Griffin: Uh, I guess both.

Brian Griffin: Wow, look at me! Hanging out drinking with Ernest Hemingway, Van Gogh and Kurt Cobain. Still, it feels like we all got here a little earlier than we should have.
Ernest Hemingway: Yeah, well, I finally collapsed under the weight of my own genius and shot myself.
Vincent Van Gogh: I could not reconcile my passion with the way people around me were living so I shot myself.
Kurt Cobain: I hated the thought of my music become part of some bland corporate mechanism so I shot myself.
Brian Griffin: Yeah I, uh... I got into the garbage and ate some chocolate.

Tricia Takanawa: Here comes Mayor Adam West himself. Mr. West, do you have any words for our viewers?
Mayor Adam West: Yes: box, toaster, aluminum, maple syrup- no I take that one back. I'm gonna hold on to that one.

Stewie: Umm, feel free to say no to this but... would you mind shaving my coin purse?
Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 110
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/8/2009 5:58:53 PM
Stewie: "I would have to say Fvck!"
Lipton: "And what is your favorite curse word?"

Mr. Pewterschmidt: "He's violating Sea Breeze!"
Peter: "No he's not, he's just awkwardly positioning himself and... NOW he's violating her!"

After catching Brian with a Dog Magazine
Peter/Lois: "OMG Brian!
Peter: "So, do we rub his nose in it?"

Brian: "So Lois it's been six months, think we should put the beds together?
Lois: "Oh Brian, not tonight."
Brian: "Fine I'll be in the basement."
Lois: "Doing what?"
Brian: "What do ya THINK!"
Stewie: "Ya know, Somebody is gonna have to explain this to me."

Peter:"Meg, you have a very vital role, your what's known as a "practice girl."
Joined: 1/25/2009
Msg: 111
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/9/2009 2:44:01 PM
One time Peter had to come up with a fake name quickly, so he looked around the room to get some ideas
Peter: Umm... my name is...(he sees a pea)
Peter: Pea... (then he sees a woman crying)
Peter: ... tear... (then he sees a griffin flying over)
Peter: ... Griffin. Peter Griffin

Peter (after he found out he had a black ancestor): I got no idea how to be black you know, except for not smiling when I get my picture taken.
Joined: 4/3/2007
Msg: 112
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/9/2009 10:49:05 PM
Peter, casually interviewing Meg's new boyfriend, Michael:

Tell me, have you ever sat on your arm until it fell asleep, then played with yourself and pretended it was somebody else?

Michael (looking around nervously): Honestly...yes.

Peter: Well, not any more, because you are dating my daughter!

Family Guy is the funniest show in the history of television-and anybody that thinks or says different, in Peter's words, " a Douche."
Joined: 10/29/2006
Msg: 113
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/10/2009 12:36:25 PM
Are you ready to Laugh? Seth MacFarlane's Harvard Class Day Speech STEWIE
Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 114
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/10/2009 2:07:08 PM
Peter: "What do ya want me to do, whack a guy, off a guy... Whack-off a guy??? "We we is how you say yes, what is no, doo-doo? Yeah, I'll be right back after I take a wicked "yes."
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 115
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/10/2009 8:00:08 PM
Peter: Are we sure it's James Woods in the box cause if it's me again I'm gonna be really pissed off
Joined: 10/1/2008
Msg: 116
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/10/2009 9:09:57 PM
follow-up to the one about stewie and the prostitute:

There were 7 prostitutes in Cleveland's living room.
Cleveland: Peter, you and 5 of those prostitutes leave right now."

Another one I loved:

Peter speaking to Joe's wife: "This is big fat Paulie and this is Paulie's big fat ass."
Joined: 3/14/2007
Msg: 117
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/10/2009 10:05:41 PM
You people should be as lucky as we Rhode Islanders, since we actually live in "Quahog"
It gives a whole new perspective to that show w/ a lot of the jokes/gags.... Giggidy Giggidy JACKPOT!!!! has a lot of local info and trivia.
Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 118
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/11/2009 8:45:35 PM
Brian: Oh God, just say something!
Stewie: Well I never knew biscuit as a dog, but I did know her as a table. She was always firm, sturdy; all four legs the same length....
Joined: 6/7/2008
Msg: 119
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/12/2009 12:04:28 AM
Peter being a body warmer for that skinny actress by hiding her under his belly flap.
Joined: 2/8/2009
Msg: 120
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/12/2009 11:21:16 PM

peter:"Its called the poop deck... so that's where I pooped."

meg:"I'm going to pretend you're the New York Mets."

Stewie: "Uh, there's a half-dead-fat-man eating a I the only one who realized? Oh, okay..."


Stewie (to one of the prostitutes at Cleveland's house): So, is there any tread left on the tires? Or at this point would it be like throwing a hot dog down a hallway?


Lois: I'm gonna go get some oranges Stewie. Here, hold the rest of these bags for mommy."
Stewie: Oh, what brilliant parenting Lois. Leave a tiny infant with a plastic bag. You know I might asphyxiate myself just to teach you a lesson. Here I go. Just like that boy from INXS..(Stewie tries to put bag over top of his head.)
Stewie: I'm going to do it! (Tries to put bag over left side of his head then climbs into it and tries pulling it over his head.)
Stewie: BLAST! Good Lord Lois, either I was a c-section, or you're Wonder Woman!


Stewie Griffin: And then I'm gonna gag her with her own brassiere!
Brian Griffin: Oh, ho-ho!
Stewie Griffin: What?
Brian Griffin: No, no, nothing, nothing. That's-thats all part of your diabolical plan to... humiliate her!
Stewie Griffin: Yes, yes, she'll be humiliated!
Brian Griffin: Maybe you'll hand-cuff her; She'll hate that.
Stewie Griffin: Then I shall do that as well!
Brian Griffin: And call her a ****.
Stewie Griffin: Until I'm hoarse with rage!
Brian Griffin: Maybe smack her ass with a riding crop?
Stewie Griffin: Yes, and then ... what?
Brian Griffin: No, I mean, that-that would, like ... that, that would show her!
Stewie Griffin: Are you... You're getting some kind of sick, sexual thrill off this, aren't you

Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 121
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/13/2009 8:25:52 AM
Mr. Pewterschmidt: Peter what are you doing here?
Peter: Aw hi Mr. Pewterschmidt I just thought you could use a little extra semen on your poop deck. (Mr. P slaps Peter)
Joined: 2/18/2007
Msg: 122
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/13/2009 9:17:06 AM
Best episodes ever would have to be where Brian loses a bet with Stewie and he wants his money. And the one where Brian and Stewie enlist in the Army. lol
Joined: 5/3/2008
Msg: 123
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/14/2009 12:02:03 AM
My ULTIMATE family Guy fav moment is when Peter was talking about Micheal J. Fox being Zorro and 2 guys, I believe they were mexican (forgive me I haven't seen this moment in a very long time) stood where the mark was made. One says to the other "Look he left his insignia" and it was a scribbled attempt at a Z.
Joined: 12/27/2008
Msg: 124
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/16/2009 4:41:11 AM
Herbert: "Um I was just wondering where the paper boy was. I'm sure hoping he could come by and bring me some good news... Get your fat ass back here... You little puggly SOB your pissing me off, Call me!" Creepy, creepy, creepy! And that episode where Herbert dreams they are married made me BARF! I can't listen or watch that. Yuck!
Joined: 1/26/2009
Msg: 125
Favorite Family Guy Lines
Posted: 2/18/2009 6:32:15 AM
"Stewie:(Playing a banjo) "Met her on my CB, said her name was Mimi, sounded like an angel come to earth. When I went to meet her, man you shoulda seen, twice as tall as me three times the girth. My fat baby loves to eat. A big ole buddha belly and her breasts swing past her feet."

Stewie: Mother! I got blisters on me fingers!!
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