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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.      Home login  
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 stevemilan
Joined: 1/11/2008
Msg: 190
Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.Page 18 of 21    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21)
Only drop your or compromise too demanding expectations. Never give up your qualities and good principals.
 sweetest
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 191
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Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 3/19/2008 6:36:27 PM
This is very timely post. I was out with a girlfriend last evening and over dinner she told me about her on/off again relationship with a man she described as the love of her life for over 22 years--most of that time unfortunately, spent in separate lives. They were together for only a few years, and revisited their relationship intermittently between other relationships/marriages. Their last parting was about 2 years ago--The final impasse: she wants marriage it's her deal breaker...he doesn't want marriage.

Meanwhile they've gotten older and know intuitively (as do both of their respective sets of friends, colleagues and families) that the other is the only one that each will ever truly love--so transforming is the love they have for each other.

At a random point in the conversation with my friend, I mentioned going forward and revisiting the hold out and perhaps, to just let it go...finally. Really, just how important is marriage if the alternative is no life together with this man who is essentially everything to her? After 2 years incommunicado, she launched an email over that embankment only this morning, resulting in a flurry of back and forth contacts all day long. We'll see how they emerge in a few weeks.

My 2 cents: Don't settle--You do yourself no favors--but do revisit your 'deal breakers' and your 'hold outs' periodically--especially if you've been single (for forever-or what feels like forever)...is it still as important as it ever was? Think beyond what you're holding out for and clear that obstacle mentally. Sometimes straight ahead is what you've been looking for...no more hurdles no more excuses and that’s not to my reckoning, settling - it's simply realizing that you have changed priorities.
 Mirage111
Joined: 3/8/2008
Msg: 193
Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 3/19/2008 7:24:28 PM
I think it would be better to be alone. There are so many couples in loveless marraiges, tortured and alone.
 sanderick
Joined: 8/27/2007
Msg: 194
Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 3/19/2008 10:55:34 PM
Isn't this a no brainer?

Why would you be with someone that you don't really want to be with.

That just means that the person you are supposed to be spending time, is alone instead of with you.

 carleedann
Joined: 8/22/2007
Msg: 195
Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 3/20/2008 9:51:35 AM
I believe in chemistry and if there's none there its just not a whole lot of fun, isn't love spossed to make you breathless or are people only out for materialist things now days.
 Birdman660
Joined: 3/13/2008
Msg: 196
Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 3/20/2008 10:19:40 AM
Personally, I'd rather be alone than hanging out with someone I only pretend to care for...

That's a form of lying, and it is really kind of unfair to everyone involved.

Unless you are just "hanging out" as "buddies" or something... and yes, I have women friends, who are just friends and activity partners, and never in my wildest dreams would I hit on them, or anything. It would be kinda like hitting on my sister or my best friend's wife or something. You just don't do it.
 0773H
Joined: 3/10/2008
Msg: 197
Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 3/20/2008 12:08:11 PM
I think this is an individual question each person would have to answer for themself and depends on how much of a taker or giver you are.
It also depends on what any one person wants out of a relationship and what they are willing to settle for and also the other persons understanding of your feelings, are they deeply in love with you or do they also feel half hearted and settling. If the person is not your type you would be unsatisfied and still wondering about where is Mr. or Ms. Right. Eventually I think most people would go on the hunt again especially if Mr./Ms. Right was later encountered hitch-hiking on the road of life. If and when one person does go hunting again they should conscionably have to ask themself is/was it worth taking up time out of another persons life and quite likely hurting them.

For myself the answer right now would be, better to be alone. It is very hard for me to tell someone who in themself is a very fine person that they do not measure up to who I want to be with after I had known it for a long time and I do not want to waste time for another person in their life. Someone wasted years and years of my life and I know what it feels like. Maybe when I am 105 and only want to stare out a window I could settle for just about anyone, but not yet.
 cmdr_iceman
Joined: 5/30/2007
Msg: 198
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Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 3/20/2008 5:20:33 PM
It is better to remain alone.

Besides it is selfish because you are depriving that other person of what it feels like to have another person feel genuine passion toward them.

What is more, you’ll most likely end up cheating on them or breaking their heart when you meet someone you do feel passion toward and abruptly dump the person who was never your type.
 orareroseo
Joined: 10/22/2005
Msg: 199
Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 3/22/2008 1:52:42 PM
I'd rather be alone then settle....I think that's why I'm single now
 TerrieLynnC
Joined: 7/4/2007
Msg: 200
Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 3/22/2008 4:18:14 PM
Well what if your both?
What if your alone and unhappy? What then?

Most of you guys seem to be in agreement that its better to be alone than to be with someone you haven't clicked with. I agree with that too. But how much rejection is a person supposed to take?
 dave1352
Joined: 9/12/2007
Msg: 201
Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 3/22/2008 4:27:42 PM
No question about it. I Would rather be on my own than make a bigger mistake by trying to pretent I'm happy. Much worse than any rejections I could receive.

I'm out
 cttech56
Joined: 11/3/2007
Msg: 204
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Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 3/22/2008 5:31:45 PM
Alone....I don't like being alone...but when I listen and watch some married people I am glad to not be married or attached. I know I am definitely too picky. Trying to be friendly with some men leads to the wrong conclusion even when I say in my profile I am only looking for friends. Still searching, though.
 MissAya
Joined: 1/28/2008
Msg: 205
Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 3/26/2008 5:14:36 AM
ALONE! I don't believe in settling for someone that doesn't meet my standards. I've been there and done that and it is horrible to be with someone and still miserable.
 virgogidget
Joined: 11/10/2005
Msg: 207
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Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 3/29/2008 5:46:28 AM
Alone
I wont settle for less.
It wont work as time goes by. little things annoy you about them

I dont believe in changing someone either to suit you
 BlackLady1953
Joined: 5/27/2011
Msg: 208
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Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 10/24/2012 10:14:34 AM
ALONE, ALONE, ALONE!
 Stray__Cat
Joined: 7/12/2006
Msg: 209
Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 10/24/2012 1:52:55 PM
I am really perplexed as to folks trying to find their exact "type".

Most that do will end up alone.
Needlessly.

I'm not talking about settling.
No one wants that.
But simply broadening your perspectives toward what's really important.

Such as:
Do yall like each other?
and can you get along?(communicate well?)
If you have those ingredients the rest will work out.

I'm not into country music or country dancing.
That is not my "type".
But if we like each other, communicate well, and get along....
I would learn.
adjust.
grow.

So would she.
heheh
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 210
Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 10/24/2012 2:04:53 PM
Why does it even need to be a matter of "better" or "worse"...it's simply a choice each person has in front of them.
The problem of accepting a relationship that isn't really what you want-is whathappens if someone who is so much more right for you comes along?

That said, there are lots of people for whom being unpartnered is a slow, quiet, painful hell-why should we tell them that a decision to pair bond with someone who isn't the God-selected "RIGHT ONE"-is a "worse" decision?
There is no better or worse in this kind of a decision, only taking responsibility for the choice you make and not trying to put that choice onto everyone else as "better"-whatever THAT means.
Cindy O
 bella4741
Joined: 9/3/2011
Msg: 211
Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 10/24/2012 2:51:23 PM
better to be alone
 Sportsfreak89
Joined: 6/7/2012
Msg: 212
Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 10/24/2012 3:38:49 PM
I'd rather be alone. I can't achieve in life if I'm always with someone who's blocking my progress.
 _Meta_Man_
Joined: 7/2/2012
Msg: 213
Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 10/24/2012 3:48:31 PM
I am not sure what you are saying about "settle for someone not your type." I think I am more open minded about the many things different people offer than thinking I have a type. So I am not expecting anything from this unknown woman and she doesn't have to be a type...and I won't be settling because she doesn't fit the mold of something limited I have concocted in my meager mind. I think the question sucks.
 ARTSYLADEEEE
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 214
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Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 10/24/2012 4:22:06 PM
Keep your options open instead of narrowing your choices into a certain "type".
 warmheart050
Joined: 2/4/2011
Msg: 215
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Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 10/24/2012 4:33:14 PM
I would not settle,if someone is not ur type,most likely it wont last very long IMO:)
 justdeb1111
Joined: 8/12/2012
Msg: 216
Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 10/26/2012 12:50:04 AM
Hellooo?

Don't ever just settle for someone you know isn't your type just to keep from being lonely--you WILL be more lonely than ever if you do.

And someone who would have been the right one for you will be forced to make a similar choice because you didn't have the bawl$ to keep searching until you found them.
 blondindian
Joined: 10/6/2009
Msg: 217
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Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 10/26/2012 1:08:01 AM
Better off being alone, it just makes it easier on both when it doesnt work out some would say thats shallow to want one type or another that its whats on the inside that counts ....How many people do we all know that are attracted intially to whats on the inside of someone they dont know yet .....hmmmm People know what they like ,whether they settle or admit is a whole different story
 Dolphina
Joined: 6/10/2012
Msg: 218
Is it better to be alone Or settle for someone that is not Your type.
Posted: 10/26/2012 2:02:15 AM
The rest of your life is a long time, and an incredibly long time to put up someone who is not your type, someone who is likely to get on your nerves. I don't do this putting up business. I like my own company, so am not in the least bit tempted to invite into my life someone I don't actually like. Your question is quite bizarre to me.
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