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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > Housekeeping --- Does a messy place turn you off?      Home login  
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 MikeWM
Joined: 2/7/2011
Msg: 29
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Housekeeping --- Does a messy place turn you off?Page 6 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
Actually this made me think of the ancient chinese curse of

"Be careful what you wish for because you might just get it"

And I thought of all the men sitting there thinking "Dear Santa I'd love to meet a woman, a really really "dirrrrrrty" one too if you know what I mean"


Then, when theyre sitting on the sofa surrounded by three week old used nappies, rotting food and have a cup of tea in a cup that still has mold from the last one that was made in it theyre thinking "Damn you Santa, you KNOW this wasnt what I meant"

 SweetLilGTP
Joined: 10/22/2010
Msg: 30
Housekeeping --- Does a messy place turn you off?
Posted: 9/29/2011 5:04:01 PM

Then, when theyre sitting on the sofa surrounded by three week old used nappies, rotting food and have a cup of tea in a cup that still has mold from the last one




I see you've met my ex.
 southmeetswest
Joined: 4/26/2010
Msg: 31
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Housekeeping --- Does a messy place turn you off?
Posted: 9/29/2011 9:47:07 PM
yes a messy place turns me off. all i can see is that i am going to have to clean this mess up to stay here.

messy as in dirty, dusty, smelly, or like a hoarder. yuck.

years ago, many years ago, when i met my ex, he came to my house first and commented how nice my place looked. a few weeks later, i went to his house.
he invited a couple of friends over to meet me and spend the evening. when they walked in the door to his place they were blown away as to how clean, neat and organized it was compared to what they had always seen. he turned out to be not too messy and even improved over the years we were together. so, i think some people living alone kind of let things go and do better in a relationship where both people are contributing to the upkeep.

kaylee
 __moh__
Joined: 6/8/2008
Msg: 32
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Housekeeping --- Does a messy place turn you off?
Posted: 9/30/2011 3:50:54 AM
I met a lady from online who dressed impeccably and presented herself wonderfully. When I went to her house for the first time it was the most disgusting site I've ever seen, something like you would see on tv. She explained she had been battling depression and had now addressed it and was on the way up. I gave her the benifit of the doubt and spent god knows how long to clean the piles of rubbish from the floor, scrape the mess off the walls and clean the kids rooms wash dishes and clean the remnants of food in the fridge that had since turned into a disgusting smelling brown sludge. 6 weeks later the house was back to the same state. She turned out to be a very abusive woman towards me and her beautiful little children.

I guess I'm saying that there was a very major insight into the person. If they can't respect themselves by giving themselves a nice clean environment to live in then I wonder how they are able to make an effort to make a relationship work? Most of us have our messy times from time to time and obsessive compulsive cleaning? Well there's an issue there too in my impression. For the most I think a dirty house is definitely a turn off for me.
 ravenhair4u
Joined: 8/13/2011
Msg: 33
Housekeeping --- Does a messy place turn you off?
Posted: 10/1/2011 11:19:11 AM
I understand when you are working, & running to get out of the house on time, things tend to get a little messy during the week, but by Saturday everything is nice & neat around here. I like things that way, I get depressed if things are messy & out of order. It wouldn't bother me if the guy cleaned up the mess, as long as he isn't living in filthy dirty conditions. I went on a few dates w/a guy in my 20's who lived in total squalor, he seriously lived like a pig. The bathtub was backed up, he had to bail out the water w/a bucket b/c the place was so filthy, he couldn't even have the landlord over to make the needed repairs. I couldn't believe he invited me over w/the condition his place was in, he should have been embarrassed. He said he was lazy, & that's the way he preferred to live. I had to leave, I couldn't stand to even be in his place. Later when he got evicted, he called me up out of the blue & asked if he could move in w/me, ha! Of course I said no...
 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 34
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Housekeeping --- Does a messy place turn you off?
Posted: 10/1/2011 11:34:20 AM
All this pseudo psychology is Really, you can tell a person by how good they are at house cleaning? Wow, the police should check this out cause according to this all criminals would have messy houses and those superior forms of life that are neat freaks would all be model citizens who should be a wonderment to us all and we should bow in awe.

I'm guessing not everyone has a house/car cleaning gene, but some are very nice, normal people, while some neat freaks would not be someone you'd want to be anywhere near. And people with messy homes are now depressed, that ranks right up there with therapists who jump to the conclusion that women who don't wear make up are depressed, getting your degree from Psychology Today is a bad idea.

How about if you don't like dirty or messy houses/cars that you just don't date those people, instead of jumping to this holier-than-thou conclusion that they must be deviants or insane or not worth the air they breath. As for hoarders, they are mentally ill and while it's fun I guess to make fun of them, it's really like pointing at the child with a low IQ and laughing at him back in grade school. We might want to look in the mirror when making these judgments that are flowing all through this thread.

I use to never make my bed unless it was the weekend and I was changing sheets (back when changing sheets once a week was normal) now I make my bed almost every day and change my sheets more often. I'm the same person, same personality, although older and calmer, but really, did I become someone different now that I make my bed every morning?
 Sin_Sational_Lady
Joined: 10/27/2010
Msg: 35
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Housekeeping --- Does a messy place turn you off?
Posted: 10/2/2011 2:11:52 PM
Well, I was raised to always keep a clean and "company presentable" home....in other words, you should never be ashamed to let anyone in your home. I may ned to dust more often, but generally the kitchen area, and bathroom are neat and clean..and my living room is always presentable...now I may not make my bed everyday..but Im the only one in my bedroom....
I have been to a few male friends home and I was terrified to sit on the toilet..better yet hoover over it, in fear something would jump up and bite my butt....and a NASTY kitchen i a definate turn off....and the whole house has a "funky" smell....
I'm not very picky, but basic housekeeping is a MUST
 AleksGB
Joined: 5/8/2011
Msg: 36
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Housekeeping --- Does a messy place turn you off?
Posted: 10/2/2011 5:32:19 PM
If an item can be sourced on a whim, it's not messy enough.
 Utahbornraised
Joined: 9/7/2011
Msg: 37
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Housekeeping --- Does a messy place turn you off?
Posted: 10/3/2011 3:02:15 PM
You shouldn't have to change the way you feel about cleanliness because of how someone is. If they cared about you and your feeling they would clean up.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 38
Housekeeping --- Does a messy place turn you off?
Posted: 10/3/2011 3:08:54 PM
There is a difference between a dirty house and a messy house.
I don't mind a little mess, but I can't stand dirt, and I do wonder
about people who choose to live in it.

It's not a holier than thou attitude, it's basic hygiene. I don't hang
around dirty people either. We all get dirty and smelly at times what
with work, working out, yard work, etc etc, but they invented this
handy device years ago called a shower. If you don't know how to use
it, we're not going to get along. And if you don't know the difference
between a toilet someone would feel comfortable using and one they
wouldn't, we'll get along even less.
 harbour_girl
Joined: 8/12/2008
Msg: 39
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Housekeeping --- Does a messy place turn you off?
Posted: 10/3/2011 8:52:04 PM
Yes, it's a turnoff for me. I think most women want a guy who looks after his place... it may be a sign of how he takes care of himself. Independance is something that attracts a lot of ladies. But yet again... it doesn't bother some women. Each to his own when it comes to what they are willing to tolerate on a regular basis or even with a short term one.

Although, some women like to take on the mother role and clean the man's house for them. Oh man, I'll end on that note.

Don't feel bad if it was a turn off for you. Good luck with your searching. :)
 2oneofakind
Joined: 4/12/2009
Msg: 40
Housekeeping --- Does a messy place turn you off?
Posted: 10/4/2011 7:16:59 PM
That would be a turn off to any one that is raised with good manners and Hygiene!
 Irish Eyez
Joined: 12/30/2008
Msg: 41
Housekeeping --- Does a messy place turn you off?
Posted: 10/5/2011 4:41:44 PM
Dated a guy for a while; he asked me to go to his home when we got to know each other a bit.

I did go to his home.

It was very untidy. The toilet pipes were frozen and shite was piled higher than the rim of the toilet. It couldn't be flushed.

I ran to the nearest Tim Horton's and went home.

Unreal...
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 42
Housekeeping --- Does a messy place turn you off?
Posted: 10/9/2012 12:12:46 PM
I think there are a whole lot of judgemental neat freaks and germaphobes out there.

I've been in people's homes where I wouldn't remove my shoes for fear of what I might step in and homes that are so impeccably neat and well ordered that I am terrified to sit down or move.

I believe in comfort and like my home to appear inviting and lived in, not a glossy image from Better Homes and Gardens magazine. My home is my refuge, a place of comfort and occasional moments of serenity, not a sterile operating room or a space used to generate an endless list of "things to do".

In my life, I draw a distinction between organic mess and regular mess. I have papers and books lying around and infrequently tidy it all up - no one will ever get sick and die because my desk is cluttered. When spilled food is not cleaned up or lifeforms make a home in your pile of unwashed dishes and stuff like that, I draw the line.

I like a tidy place but the cleanliness of my home is not something I take pride in. I tend to focus on other things for that...you know, like trying to be a good person.
 Sweet_Danimal
Joined: 6/22/2012
Msg: 43
Housekeeping --- Does a messy place turn you off?
Posted: 10/9/2012 12:24:45 PM
I don't envy Moms with little kids, because they hit every room like a tornado and scatter sh*t to the four winds. Even if you see a house that looks 'lived in' with kids' toys everywhere, there is still ways to tell if they give a damn about cleaning up. If the sink is not full of dirty dishes, it's usually the one clean spot in the whole kitchen - or the stove top (otherwise it's a fire danger).

Usually it's your nose that tells the best if someone is a slob - smelling molds, dust, mildew is usually the best evidence a mess has been sitting too long in one spot.

I was told a looooong time ago that if you EVER think you might have a lady over for the evening, you make damn sure there is not ANY hair anywhere in the bathroom - no trimmings on the sink from sideburns and moustaches, no 'floaters' in the tub and shower walls, and definitely NO pubes around the toilet. The funny part is; if you visit a ladies' restroom - they may have their sink and counters and toilet clean, but their hair brush and trash can will have a full rat's nest of hair tangled in it, usually in plain sight.
 LAgoodguy
Joined: 8/21/2008
Msg: 44
Housekeeping --- Does a messy place turn you off?
Posted: 10/9/2012 1:18:20 PM
Problem here is that diffrent people have diffrent idea of what is messy-dirty- filthy- or just call the HAZmat team... I'm not the neat freak and sometimes it takes me a little longer between cleanings. But you won't have a problem sitting on the floor cause its dirty. I love to sit on the floor most of the time. My Achilles heel is the kitchen. I hate doing dishes and for some reason everytime I cook I got a pile of dishes as if I cooked for a platoon. I tend to have some dishes sit there for 2-3 days. So if its the dishes you judge me by then I would fail the test. I do always pass the cooking test so I got to get a few points for that.
It's ok to be a little messy. Life goes on as long as you stay on top of it. I can deal with a little messy.
I can't deal with someone where when you walk in there house the only thought that goes in your head is "holly s**t thats just wrong". Those are the same people who don't shower everyday.
Same way I would rather not deal with a neat freak who has to stop everything to clean the place again.. Or when a vase had to face the the room just so. The chair must be so many inches away from the table. Think of OCD type of neat freak..
 AddHomonym
Joined: 12/26/2011
Msg: 45
Housekeeping --- Does a messy place turn you off?
Posted: 10/9/2012 1:47:02 PM
I went to visit a buddy of mine once upon a time who had a very controlling, neat-freak for a roomate. The place was completely devoid of any dust or mess of any kind. My friend nearly had a panic attack when someone put a glass on the table without a cupholder. Then he showed me his roomates bedroom.

It was unbelievable. Filth and refuse piled higher than the bed which was barely visible due to the garbage in there. I'm not exaggerating here either. I told my friend to get the hell out of that house and never look back, anyone who could be capable of that level of deceit and hypocrisy had to be dangerous.

Clean and tidy is one thing, when you start to apply value judgements and use it as a barometer for measuring human relationships, I think you might have some other issues to sort out.

This Jekyll and Hyde roomate I mentioned obviously has some strong opinions about what a clean house says about people too. I'd say he might be right but not in the way he thinks.

This issue makes me think about my days as a university student when I couldn't afford to live alone. Some roomates I thought were slobs, others thought that I was a slob. I never met anyone who had exactly the same tolerance level for cleanliness as me, it was always a matter of making compromises. If the people are reasonable and accommodating, then they'll work it out. Neat-freaks aren't ever reasonable or accommodating it seems to me. I consider that a much a bigger problem.
 2hotcougar
Joined: 3/29/2011
Msg: 46
Housekeeping --- Does a messy place turn you off?
Posted: 10/9/2012 10:45:44 PM
i love your answer i feel more at home with a guy that is messy i dont have to worry about if i spill or drop something before i go to a mans house i will tell him please dont clean up for me i want to see the real him
 INSTYLE9611
Joined: 3/30/2008
Msg: 49
Housekeeping --- Does a messy place turn you off?
Posted: 10/14/2012 5:59:05 AM
I always thought women were Always neat.lol
Myself I always have a Clean house
 JugglingWithChainsaws
Joined: 9/20/2012
Msg: 50
Housekeeping --- Does a messy place turn you off?
Posted: 10/14/2012 11:07:21 AM
It's a major turnoff for guys, too! Years ago, I went out with a woman whose house looked like a grenade exploded. I had to use the bathroom and stumbled over piles of clothes. Her kitchen was a giant trashcan--rotting food, dirty plates, and discarded boxes everywhere. I am not OCD and a clean freak, but her lack of cleanliness probably reflected how she was physically as a person--unclean. Needless to say, we did not date after this!
 1964armymom
Joined: 7/18/2012
Msg: 51
Housekeeping --- Does a messy place turn you off?
Posted: 10/14/2012 2:04:09 PM
My exhusband is OCD, and I got to be a bit of a neat freak during out marriage. :/ You could literally lick my floors.
These days, not so much. My house gets cluttered and messy, especially because there are pets. But I keep it clean under the clutter. :)
Either direction would give me pause - whether an absolutely spotless home or a smelly sty. Balance in life is the key.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 52
Housekeeping --- Does a messy place turn you off?
Posted: 10/15/2012 3:29:30 PM
sweetcherie- Messy or dirty? There's a difference.
A few things lying around, dishes in the sink, over due for dusting and/or vacuuming, these are things I can handle.
On the other hand, filth, no place in the whole house/apartment that's even reasonably clean-YUCK, no thanks!
 bcsofnc57
Joined: 11/20/2007
Msg: 53
Housekeeping --- Does a messy place turn you off?
Posted: 10/16/2012 1:23:55 PM
Not at all. That's just getting too picky.
 dixlee09
Joined: 8/5/2010
Msg: 54
Housekeeping --- Does a messy place turn you off?
Posted: 10/20/2012 9:06:20 PM
I would run for the door. If the relationship goes so far as living together guess who would be the only one cleaning?
If there home was a mess, I would be wondering about how they care for themselves.
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