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 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 37
Exclusive dating???Page 5 of 5    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5)

How many women out there date a man ONE time and have them ask you if you would please ONLY date them so that you can be exclusive???

I've dated one at a time, I've also dated several. It all depends on what I'm looking for and where I am in my life.

How many men ask that of a woman after the first or second date? and why???

I can't answer for "why" men do this, I can say that there have been times when I've agreed to exclusivity very early one and there have been times when I've made it clear that isn't an option. Just depends on the man and the situation at the time it's happening. JMO
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 38
Exclusive dating???
Posted: 8/21/2009 3:57:12 PM

Dating for me is in whole different category as well as family is its own category and friends are in a different category with each one having its own rules and customs and for the record when I am with a friends I am usually only with one of the them at a time so I can spend time with that one friend.

If you mean you can't date two people in the same room or simultaneously, then yes - good point.

If you mean you can't date two people on different days and give them your attention at that time, then it's no different than saying you can't have two friends in your life period because having more than one takes away from knowing the other.

If you can spend time with one friend at a time in order to give them your full attention, you can also date one on Wednesday and one on Sunday and also give them your full attention. The nature of the relationship or task is irrelevant. If you can do more than two things on two different days, the argument isn't valid - unless you're suggesting people are so slow that they can't possible know two people at once.
 Motherofthebride
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 41
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Exclusive dating???
Posted: 8/21/2009 4:21:57 PM
I only date one guy at a time, but I don't consider that to be exclusive, I just find it hard to juggle multiple men. If I'm talking to several guys on line and meet all three in a week (and this has happened) one usually stands out and I date him alone. I tell the other two the situations and tell them I'll be in touch if it does not work out. I've found men appreciate the honesty and I've never had a bad reaction.

I ask a man to be exclusive when we start a sexual relationship. I won't go there unless I feel like they are on the same page as me.
 mthomjmark
Joined: 2/27/2008
Msg: 44
Exclusive dating???
Posted: 8/22/2009 12:17:41 PM
the U.S. has the highest STD rate for those under 30; 54% divorce rate, and a breakup rate of 91% within 5 years for those living together.

He may have been insecure at saying that but women are as sleazy as men and many women online are sleeping with multiple guys.

He went about it wrong and overreacted but you getting on him is kind of pathetic too.

You may feel better judging the guy but what do you expect? it's online dating; also the girls gone wild mentality of women have made women as sleazy as men. Women cheat as much as men.

This guy like others wanted something serious and he may have liked you; he was insecure;

Like many online some are into the attention and some just want to screw around with multiple people. He had the right mindset, just went about it wrong and went too fast. He should have just said I'm interested in you and would like you to be open with me on your intentions. I think you need to lighten up. This didnt' deserve a post.
 jaqi
Joined: 2/2/2008
Msg: 47
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Exclusive dating???
Posted: 8/22/2009 1:22:13 PM
I think that when you meet someone that you like, even on the first date, you generally know whether you feel there is something a bit more special about him or her compared to others you have met and unless you are talking in general about the whys and wherefores about exclusivity then there is no need to discuss it. Of course it would be different if you didn't want an exclusive relationship and then it would be an important factor to bring to the table.

I know that I personally would not continue to see other guys if I thought that the one I had just met was as interested in me as I was in him and I would like to think that he would have the same values.
 spitfire6844
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 49
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Exclusive dating???
Posted: 8/22/2009 2:41:40 PM

How many men ask that of a woman after the first or second date? and why???


Never have, but I suppose if a guy is sprung on a particular woman, I can understand wanting to have this conversation earlier in the dating relationship.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 51
Exclusive dating???
Posted: 8/22/2009 9:26:06 PM
Re: Renaissance....I'm not talking about being in love with two people at once; we're talking about the initial meeting and date or two - not a serious thing, unless you fall in love that fast, and then that's you. Not all do that. By the time I am in love with someone it's been so long that this isn't even close to being an issue.

Weeks or months isn't my point, but it always seems that those arguing me tend to jump to the conclusion that if in one date I'm not ready to settle down that I must be talking about months of dating more than one.

Once again, I never said that. I said after ONE date.

Granted there will never be enough guys I like that much that more than one would actually occur, but if they did - I'd want to be good and sure in the first couple weeks who I was more into.
 TigerinCalifornia
Joined: 8/31/2008
Msg: 59
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Exclusive dating???
Posted: 8/27/2009 7:56:58 PM
I would never ask someone to date exclusively after the first, maybe even the second date if it ever got that far. But, if she wanted to see me again, I think I would stop looking at that point out of respect for her and to see if anything happens, if that makes sense. Like some of the men on here, I am old fashioned and would not date multiple women at a time if I thought there might be a chance on things progressing with one as it wouldn't be fair to the others, if that makes sense too...LOL!
 JerseyGirl2008
Joined: 12/27/2007
Msg: 61
Exclusive dating???
Posted: 8/29/2009 8:05:44 AM
LOL - in my age group, most of them are insane or emotionally imbalanced. If you're not willing to drop any other romantic interests you may be persuing 3 minutes after you've met them, they accuse you of being a 'serial dater' or a 'cheater.' Even though there's been NO exclusivity talk at ALL.

ROFL. Yeah, good times, good times...
 ileft
Joined: 4/25/2008
Msg: 64
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Exclusive dating???
Posted: 8/30/2009 7:20:25 AM

How many women out there date a man ONE time and have them ask you if you would please ONLY date them so that you can be exclusive??? How many men ask that of a woman after the first or second date? and why???


See I don't get it, if a woman asks a man this after like 3-4 months she could easily scare the guy off but if a guy thinks he can ask us that after date one we're meant to just be exclusive how does that work?!! And yes I know this doesn't happen with everyone but it has happened to me, makes no sense to me.
 spitfire6844
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 65
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Exclusive dating???
Posted: 8/30/2009 11:02:22 AM

if a guy thinks he can ask us that after date one we're meant to just be exclusive how does that work?!!


It's only the occasional, unusual guy who would ever mention exclusivity that early. There is no double standard here. The guy who does this is a clinger, or is obsessive, just as surely as a woman who mentions exclusivity too early.
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