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Joined: 2/28/2008
Msg: 44
Swingers..Page 2 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
but let me pose a question on this issue:

1) there is the whole aids and std thing yes but what is the difference in someone haveing sex behind someone eleses back ( and cheating) and doing it while in the same room. i know many ex swingers that have given up the lifstyle because there marriages were distroyed because then it led to cheating. once you cross the line for most people its a blanc check to pass that line whenever you want. the reasons they gave it up is because there mariages were distroyed. there came running off with the other persons spouse or having so much sex outside thelimts set that they could not handle it.
I personally now enjoy monogomous sex with one partner because i can ge ta know her body and what turns her on and what dosent. and the sex is much better because there is love and comittment and devotion. and we dont f**k or have sex we make love. and its like every need and want and desire is fullfilled. so i dont understand how i did it and how people can do it now.
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 45
Posted: 7/28/2009 9:54:50 AM

but let me pose a question on this issue:

there is a big difference in swinging with your partners knowledge and blessing and cheating,lying,sneaking around
i never said swinging was good but it beats the hell out of the cheating ..if for no other reason than the hurt /betrayal that the innocent party feels
swinging is perhaps a compromise of your morals ...cheating is definately a compromise of both your morals and your integrity

most of us in some way have compromised our morals in our lives is easy to get your morals back
when you compromise your integrity...thats a hard thing to get back
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 46
Posted: 7/28/2009 9:59:36 AM
Just make it very clear on your profile.

I can't imagine anyone having a problem with your honesty: It might actually work in your favor.
Joined: 5/10/2008
Msg: 47
Posted: 7/28/2009 10:53:17 AM
I could not be in a swinging relationship with a woman I was actually in love with.

In a world with out STDs, I could probably be in that type of relationship if I had a friend with benefits who was into it...but no, not a person I was in love with.
Joined: 7/22/2009
Msg: 53
Posted: 7/28/2009 7:11:19 PM a life///lol
Joined: 7/25/2009
Msg: 54
view profile
Posted: 7/29/2009 6:42:32 PM
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 56
Posted: 7/29/2009 9:14:55 PM
I have seen you do this in almost every thread in this forum where someone represents a life choice that you don't agree with. Just because you "know someone" does not mean you know what you are talking about for a group as a whole. I know some Buddhists, but I would not presume to make declarations about all of them, when I have no first hand knowledge. I am going to leave the self centered thing alone, because it at least seemed like you were trying to say you meant your group of heavy lifestylers only.. and not them all as a whole (although I felt it was implied).

As a man you have to have a 'long term partner' or someone who can pass for one to swing.
While often the case that events are about long term partners, not all are. Sometimes you get invited along because you are a combination of nice, fun to be with, good looking etc.. basically a welcome guest at an event that is as much about socializing as it is sex.

it's mostly about men wanting to get some strange....
Just goes to show that you really don't actually know any women that are swingers, and not just barely willing participants in their husbands activities.

POF is really not for someone looking for a lifestyler
.. This is the one that really gets me.. Sorry, but I don't really think you understand the variety of humanity that uses this site. Just because it is not your cup of tea, does not mean someone is not wanting to drink it.
Joined: 9/23/2008
Msg: 58
Posted: 7/29/2009 9:27:04 PM
Ya there is a stigma with swinging unless you know people within the scene. I see no problem with it. I think its a personal choice and see it as a personal view about love. People I feel have stigmas for men and women swingers. Men are felt to be cheater and women are felt to be whores. Not true. I use to swig with my ex and we loved each other very much. Sometime even more when we found partners. It just depends on how sexually open you feel. I don't think anyone has the right to judge anyone on their sexual prowess. If you have a problem with swinging just don't do it and don't be around friends that do. Whats funny is that swinging is actually more common among upper middle class white married couples in their 40's... I just wanted to throw a little factual info your way. It's not seen more in younger crowd but I notice swinging is more associated with people who are considered "deviant"... so ya misunderstood
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 60
Posted: 7/30/2009 7:23:40 AM
Right, but that is not swinging. That is just a husband bullying his wife into letting him sleep with other women in one way or another. Two completely different things. I also have actual experience in this, not just "know" some people.
Joined: 7/9/2009
Msg: 62
Posted: 7/30/2009 9:32:50 AM
It's simple. some people its the cure for everything, some people its a temp fix that will eventually fail, and others...well there's always grey area in every topic. If it works, good for you. I wouldnt mid it at all a one bit. So...anyone lookin to recruit a guy to join in the swining? lol.
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 64
Posted: 7/30/2009 3:33:35 PM
the swingers would be the married or gf/bf couple your playing with sweetheart. lol. You may be considered a swinger because it is a couple your playing with and not two single individuals. All I can say is I'm here for you if you'd like to Your too cute and sexy;) T
Joined: 8/3/2006
Msg: 65
Posted: 8/1/2009 6:57:08 AM

I use to swig[sp] with my ex and we loved each other very much. Sometime even more when we found partners. It just depends on how sexually open you feel.

I choose this post reply not to pick on the person, but to once again reinforce that there seems to be a lot of confusion between love and lust. Once those lines have been blurred it must be difficult to see and understand that there is a difference. I think the problem is that lust is quick and powerful, whereas love, is a evolving thing. People feel the power of lust and confuse it for "love at first site"
People, people, people. I do not see how any rational, normal, and intelligent human being can watch another person slobbering all over their partner and profess love. Well that is unless the rational, normal, and intelligent human being has never really experienced love. There are so many people on here advocating the opposite that one would think it must be true. I have nothing against people who have chosen a swinging lifestyle, but don't wrap up a turd and try to convince everyone else that it is candy.
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 66
view profile
Posted: 8/1/2009 7:54:08 AM
Their choices don't bother me at all; but the swingers I've known usually aren't that happy and fulfilled, despite all the varied sex they're getting. The ones I've known are generally miserable. Common sense would lead us to believe they are liberated and live rich lives; but the swingers I've talked to didn't project that.

To each her/his own, though. Do what you think fulfills you.
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 67
Posted: 8/1/2009 8:24:00 AM
I've never been a swinger, but the 2 couples I know that do are very happy in their relationship
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 69
Posted: 8/3/2009 3:01:15 PM
Sorry, but I really have to disagree with you. You are just way off base. Single women can swing very easily..
The thing is, people/ couples that do this do not always wear t-shirts that say.. Hey.. I am a swinger.. much in the way that homsexual men and women do not always... Sure there are the couples that are very flamboyant/in your face about it.. but it applies to them just like the fact that you really do Not know who is gay or straight.
There is such an annoying tendency we have in the west that I rarely saw travelig in Asia, or from most of my European friends.. We feel the need to put down the "other"... instead of live and let live.. It doesn't seem healthy, or mature..
Maybe it is because as a society we are relatively young, and still clinging to our guns and bibles ;)
Joined: 7/8/2009
Msg: 70
Posted: 8/3/2009 6:02:16 PM
I wouldnt choose anyone with this lifestyle, I simply dont get it and dont care to try.

Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 73
Posted: 8/3/2009 7:44:54 PM
If I met a girl and later found out she'd beeen a swinger, wouldn't bother me one bit. The only time I'm ever concerned about anyone is whether or not they have contracted ROOT ROT (Aids).
Joined: 7/28/2009
Msg: 74
Posted: 8/3/2009 9:40:47 PM
I've always wanted to marry a woman who would go with other guys whilst I would not be with other women. So for me, swinging is not an issue.
Joined: 2/19/2009
Msg: 76
Posted: 8/7/2009 12:14:00 PM

are we all bad or just misunderstood?

All bad? Come on....Misunderstood? What's not to get? You choose not to settle for sex with one person, so you keep the door open for more.Ahh....polyamory.Or is it just about the SEX?Not my thing.....but to each thier own.

Anytime I mention that its my lifestyle choice I am rebuked and frowned upon.

Monogamous people see it as cheating...that's what's frowned upon, I think.
So what if not everyone get's it.....You GET IT!

Yet I feel it better to be open about this part of my life as it stops any confusion and misleading anyone the more you get to know them. What's your opinion?

I think you are free to do what you want with your life and body.Are you BAD? lol....Come on,by who's standards do you define yourself by...yours or strangers?
I only respect the opinions of people I respect.Who cares what other's think?

Just curious.Do you choose this lifestyle just to rebel against the norm.And if you feel it's better to be open about this part of your life.....then why is it not mentioned beyond "open-mindedness" in your profile.

Be UPFRONT to a fault.State your lifestyle choices,your intentions,hopes and dreams.Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy and proof of a man having character and conscience! FYI...this thread should help inform anyone who contacts you from now on because everything you write here goes directly to your profile at the bottom.

If women are into sharing you they will contact you...if they aren't they won't.
Some might see it as sexually liberated...others might just see it as selfish....and greedy.
Doesn't matter what I think of you...what do YOU think of you?

That's all that counts.
Joined: 4/9/2007
Msg: 77
Posted: 8/10/2009 11:04:02 AM
Swingers are misunderstood by society's prudish traditions and sexaul repression. The art of "swinging" or the Lifestyle", was an accepted practice in ancient Egyptian and Roman cultures.
To attend an orgy was the climax of being part of this society, except that in this day and age, it is seen as sinful, and debauched; it is also seen as an anomaly of society. No one talks about, and when some does, that person is branded as evil and sinful, and it is often done in jealousy of being a true free spirit
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 85
view profile
Posted: 3/24/2010 12:25:35 PM
Most people have a lot of mistaken ideas about swingers that cause them to misunderstand, misinterpret and view swingers in an unfair manner.

The reality is swingers are not so strange when you compare them to "normal" people.
The reality is that there are many "normal" people who have a LOT more sex than swingers and who are a LOT more promiscuous than swingers.
Take the married dudes that troll online on forums like this one and other singles sites to flirt with women and never admit they are married. I know dudes who do that. Consider married women who do the same.
Considered married and single non-swingers that hit the singles bars six nights a week and sleep with anybody who will take them to the sack.
Consider the married dudes who pick up prostitutes on a regular basis....

These folks are considered "normal" yet in many cases they are a LOT more promiscuious than folks in the lifestyle.
On the other hand, most swingers are honest. They tell you up front their marriage situation. Just like the people listed above they want sex and want a variety of partners. They (usually) just don't lie about it.
Yet because they are honest in their desires and enthusiasms, they are considered "perverts" and the people who fornicate behind their spouses backs with people they LIE to about their marriage arrangements and sometimes frequent prostitutes are considered "normal?"
Oh Puh-LEASE!!!!
And don't even get me started on married folks who have affairs.
I know one joker who was promiscuous and cheated on his wife with a chick who was promiscuous and cheated on her husband. When he caught her with her husband or her other boyfriends he got insanely jealous. Despite the fact that he was screwing his wife and other women on the side too.
I think "Swinger" should be viewed as "normal" in terms of non-exclusive non emotional temporary sexual relationships and "normal" cheaters should be viewed as nut jobs.

Jealousy does not mean you love somebody else. It just means you are obsessed with yourself. If you love somebody else you want them to be HAPPY. Their happiness will come first.
However if you are prone to jealousy I would advise you to stay away from the swinging lifestyle because you are just asking to be hurt if you have those kinds of hangups, no matter how kinky you may think you are.
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 86
view profile
Posted: 3/24/2010 12:32:21 PM
PS, the idea that "lying" about ones desires and cheating to achieve what one wants is somehow "desirable" or normal is laughable to an intelligent human being.

The reality is the victorian prudery that some intellectually challenged folks cannot abandon is not a "higher moral tance."
Its just hypocrisy.
I recall a study done years ago where they found that folks in uptight prudish states like Utah consumed more pornography per capita than people in more 'sinful' urban areas.

As for STDs, they are often spread primarily through drug users, more than swingers.
The lady who got me into swinging is 50 now and she has been with at least 60 different men and who knows how many women. She never ever contacted an STD despite the fact she refused to use condoms.
Her secret? She never had sex with drug users.
Ive been a lifestyler for years, primarily bareback and have never contacted an STD either. I don't sleep with druggies.
Remember, condoms are only 77 percent effective at best and the rubber has not been made that will protect you from Hep C.
I know many swingers who have never contracted an STD....
On the other hand , I know MANY civillians or "Vanilla" non-swinger types who have contracted Clamydia, herpes, ghonorrea, crabs, etc....
Some of them holy rollers and church regulars, by the way....
I think people who have a healthy and REALISTIC attitude about sex seem to be more sexually healthy than the repressed types who are just ticking time bombs waitin' to erupt.
All those alterboys on Sunday morning bedding down indiscriminately with thong queens every saturday night are just asking for a dose of clap when they are indiscriminate about where they meet people and what kind of people they are when trying to get into somebody elses pants...
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 87
view profile
Posted: 3/24/2010 1:30:21 PM

People who are married and swing or have a significant other and swing are often SWAPPERS, not swingers.

Its been my real world been there done them experience that Swappers tend to have too many problems with jealousy for their relationships to withstand the swinging lifestyle.

And as for the claim that single dudes don't get far, I hate to break it to you. I am a pudgy, middle age guy and I have been with a lot more single bi females than most couples EVER do.
In fact, over on one of the swinging web sites, single bi females are referred to as "Unicorns" because supposedly they don't exist. In reality they are all over the place and tend to be very friendly and open to playing with single males.
In fact, couples wanting a 3 way with single dudes are in fact a lot more rare. And ofen, when you find them the profile was obviously written by a dude who doesn't want his wife playing with another guy. Those sorts of profiles always stand out because they claim to be single male friendly. And yet it will say, "Must have at least 9 inches". Come on. That's just hubbys way of keeping wifey from playing becuase he has jealousy issues. He knows that she won't find a horny single swinging guy hung like Ron Jeremy. Such dudes who are so circus freak equipped don't have to troll for sex online, they can get hired to perform in porn films.
And I hate to break it to you but there are all sorts of swingers in all shapes and sizes. The most beautiful woman I ever met in my life was a swinger. She had an absolutely flawless, perfect body.
When we first met, I was chuckling because I thought she was wearing a padded bra.
When she took her top off later, I was stunned to find out she didn't even wear a bra...
And she was not augmented either. When I say perfect, I mean walked right off Mount Olympus perfect. You would have thought her to be a personal trainer.
Swinger women are often quite lovely becuase they are HAPPY and CONTENT. And swinger men often are quite charming and engaging to be around.
Don't knock 'em till you meet 'em.
Stereotypes are for small minds....
Joined: 3/9/2010
Msg: 88
Posted: 3/24/2010 1:52:16 PM

....sexually liberated?

So, unless someone demonstrates swinger skills they are confined, or restrained?
As if because someone wants to share himself with only one person that somehow you have less ability to experience sexual esctasy?
Joined: 8/20/2008
Msg: 89
Posted: 3/24/2010 2:14:44 PM
what the **** ever since I was in kindergarten I was told to share. now suddenly it's frowned upon.

nothing wrong with a little group adventure
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