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Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 60
Swingers..Page 5 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)
Right, but that is not swinging. That is just a husband bullying his wife into letting him sleep with other women in one way or another. Two completely different things. I also have actual experience in this, not just "know" some people.
Joined: 3/30/2009
Msg: 64
Posted: 7/30/2009 3:33:35 PM
the swingers would be the married or gf/bf couple your playing with sweetheart. lol. You may be considered a swinger because it is a couple your playing with and not two single individuals. All I can say is I'm here for you if you'd like to Your too cute and sexy;) T
Joined: 6/30/2007
Msg: 66
view profile
Posted: 8/1/2009 7:54:08 AM
Their choices don't bother me at all; but the swingers I've known usually aren't that happy and fulfilled, despite all the varied sex they're getting. The ones I've known are generally miserable. Common sense would lead us to believe they are liberated and live rich lives; but the swingers I've talked to didn't project that.

To each her/his own, though. Do what you think fulfills you.
Joined: 1/4/2009
Msg: 67
Posted: 8/1/2009 8:24:00 AM
I've never been a swinger, but the 2 couples I know that do are very happy in their relationship
Joined: 4/3/2006
Msg: 69
Posted: 8/3/2009 3:01:15 PM
Sorry, but I really have to disagree with you. You are just way off base. Single women can swing very easily..
The thing is, people/ couples that do this do not always wear t-shirts that say.. Hey.. I am a swinger.. much in the way that homsexual men and women do not always... Sure there are the couples that are very flamboyant/in your face about it.. but it applies to them just like the fact that you really do Not know who is gay or straight.
There is such an annoying tendency we have in the west that I rarely saw travelig in Asia, or from most of my European friends.. We feel the need to put down the "other"... instead of live and let live.. It doesn't seem healthy, or mature..
Maybe it is because as a society we are relatively young, and still clinging to our guns and bibles ;)
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 85
view profile
Posted: 3/24/2010 12:25:35 PM
Most people have a lot of mistaken ideas about swingers that cause them to misunderstand, misinterpret and view swingers in an unfair manner.

The reality is swingers are not so strange when you compare them to "normal" people.
The reality is that there are many "normal" people who have a LOT more sex than swingers and who are a LOT more promiscuous than swingers.
Take the married dudes that troll online on forums like this one and other singles sites to flirt with women and never admit they are married. I know dudes who do that. Consider married women who do the same.
Considered married and single non-swingers that hit the singles bars six nights a week and sleep with anybody who will take them to the sack.
Consider the married dudes who pick up prostitutes on a regular basis....

These folks are considered "normal" yet in many cases they are a LOT more promiscuious than folks in the lifestyle.
On the other hand, most swingers are honest. They tell you up front their marriage situation. Just like the people listed above they want sex and want a variety of partners. They (usually) just don't lie about it.
Yet because they are honest in their desires and enthusiasms, they are considered "perverts" and the people who fornicate behind their spouses backs with people they LIE to about their marriage arrangements and sometimes frequent prostitutes are considered "normal?"
Oh Puh-LEASE!!!!
And don't even get me started on married folks who have affairs.
I know one joker who was promiscuous and cheated on his wife with a chick who was promiscuous and cheated on her husband. When he caught her with her husband or her other boyfriends he got insanely jealous. Despite the fact that he was screwing his wife and other women on the side too.
I think "Swinger" should be viewed as "normal" in terms of non-exclusive non emotional temporary sexual relationships and "normal" cheaters should be viewed as nut jobs.

Jealousy does not mean you love somebody else. It just means you are obsessed with yourself. If you love somebody else you want them to be HAPPY. Their happiness will come first.
However if you are prone to jealousy I would advise you to stay away from the swinging lifestyle because you are just asking to be hurt if you have those kinds of hangups, no matter how kinky you may think you are.
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 86
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Posted: 3/24/2010 12:32:21 PM
PS, the idea that "lying" about ones desires and cheating to achieve what one wants is somehow "desirable" or normal is laughable to an intelligent human being.

The reality is the victorian prudery that some intellectually challenged folks cannot abandon is not a "higher moral tance."
Its just hypocrisy.
I recall a study done years ago where they found that folks in uptight prudish states like Utah consumed more pornography per capita than people in more 'sinful' urban areas.

As for STDs, they are often spread primarily through drug users, more than swingers.
The lady who got me into swinging is 50 now and she has been with at least 60 different men and who knows how many women. She never ever contacted an STD despite the fact she refused to use condoms.
Her secret? She never had sex with drug users.
Ive been a lifestyler for years, primarily bareback and have never contacted an STD either. I don't sleep with druggies.
Remember, condoms are only 77 percent effective at best and the rubber has not been made that will protect you from Hep C.
I know many swingers who have never contracted an STD....
On the other hand , I know MANY civillians or "Vanilla" non-swinger types who have contracted Clamydia, herpes, ghonorrea, crabs, etc....
Some of them holy rollers and church regulars, by the way....
I think people who have a healthy and REALISTIC attitude about sex seem to be more sexually healthy than the repressed types who are just ticking time bombs waitin' to erupt.
All those alterboys on Sunday morning bedding down indiscriminately with thong queens every saturday night are just asking for a dose of clap when they are indiscriminate about where they meet people and what kind of people they are when trying to get into somebody elses pants...
Joined: 1/3/2010
Msg: 87
view profile
Posted: 3/24/2010 1:30:21 PM

People who are married and swing or have a significant other and swing are often SWAPPERS, not swingers.

Its been my real world been there done them experience that Swappers tend to have too many problems with jealousy for their relationships to withstand the swinging lifestyle.

And as for the claim that single dudes don't get far, I hate to break it to you. I am a pudgy, middle age guy and I have been with a lot more single bi females than most couples EVER do.
In fact, over on one of the swinging web sites, single bi females are referred to as "Unicorns" because supposedly they don't exist. In reality they are all over the place and tend to be very friendly and open to playing with single males.
In fact, couples wanting a 3 way with single dudes are in fact a lot more rare. And ofen, when you find them the profile was obviously written by a dude who doesn't want his wife playing with another guy. Those sorts of profiles always stand out because they claim to be single male friendly. And yet it will say, "Must have at least 9 inches". Come on. That's just hubbys way of keeping wifey from playing becuase he has jealousy issues. He knows that she won't find a horny single swinging guy hung like Ron Jeremy. Such dudes who are so circus freak equipped don't have to troll for sex online, they can get hired to perform in porn films.
And I hate to break it to you but there are all sorts of swingers in all shapes and sizes. The most beautiful woman I ever met in my life was a swinger. She had an absolutely flawless, perfect body.
When we first met, I was chuckling because I thought she was wearing a padded bra.
When she took her top off later, I was stunned to find out she didn't even wear a bra...
And she was not augmented either. When I say perfect, I mean walked right off Mount Olympus perfect. You would have thought her to be a personal trainer.
Swinger women are often quite lovely becuase they are HAPPY and CONTENT. And swinger men often are quite charming and engaging to be around.
Don't knock 'em till you meet 'em.
Stereotypes are for small minds....
Joined: 8/20/2008
Msg: 89
Posted: 3/24/2010 2:14:44 PM
what the **** ever since I was in kindergarten I was told to share. now suddenly it's frowned upon.

nothing wrong with a little group adventure
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 93
Posted: 3/25/2010 8:17:11 AM

Oh yeah, she got a couple of STD's and her ex died last year from AIDs.... all acquired nicely despite the use of condoms...

The odds of winning the lottery are much lower, yet some people still win the lottery. Your odds of dying in a car accident in the US are 1 in 6500 over a one year span, yet people still drive cars. If you are unaware of the risk in doing something, you are making an uniformed decision. Unfortunately, lots of people (you, for example) spread misinformation by stating anecdotal example as evidence to support a personal viewpoint. Worse, you state tham as fact, even though you cannot be certain your own statements are actually true. For example, you have no way of knowing your gf's ex acquired HIV while using a condom. At the very most, you could know that he had sex with an HIV infected partner and assume everyone present while they were having sex will confirm they used a condom.
Even if your statement is true, you have not told anyone anything significant (unless there is anyone here who is so naive as to believe that a condom provides a guarantee of anything or who have no idea what ``risk'' and ``risk reduction'' mean.)

Rather than rely on speculation from the uninformed, I searched to find something that contains actual numbers from real medical studies so that the readers here could have something more reliable to use for making personal decisions. . It's from the Bulletin of the World Health Organization. In it, you will find the results which were collected from the references contained therein for the risk reduction condoms provide for a large number of STDs along with some specific details regarding individual STDs.
Joined: 1/1/2008
Msg: 99
view profile
Posted: 8/19/2010 11:13:45 AM
A woman that's a swinger told me all the men she has meet are small.
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 105
Posted: 8/20/2010 6:28:54 AM
^^^^^ I've told people that they're more likely to die on the road enroute to some wild rivers to raft (and you can use a different raft every time without raising the risk level at all!), which is about the most kick you can get doing something that doesn't involve sex, but never felt sufficiently knowledgeable about all the risks involved in sex to use that comparison. lol Hmmm, a cost/reward analysis of sex? That could take a looooong time to get through so that each participant might be said to have given "informed consent" (the legal age for which was recently raised from 14 to 16 in Arkansas-LOL).
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 107
Posted: 8/20/2010 9:18:39 AM

At least driving on the highway, the greater experience you have, the less likely you will be affected... With sex, the more experience you have the greater risk...

This might be a good time for a statistic lesson. The relevant results may be obtained using the binomial distribution.

First, when interpreting statistics, it's important to understand the subtle difference in the question being addressed. For example, the question, (1) ``If you have sex with 5 infected partners and your risk of acquiring an std with each contact is 10%, what is the chance you become infected?'' is not the same question as, (2) ''If you have sex with 5 partners and your risk of acquiring an std with each infected contact is 10%, what is the chance you become infected?'' and both are extremely different questions than, (3)``If you have sex with 10 infected partners and after 9 partners are not infected, what is your risk of infection with the 10th partner?''

The answer to (1) is 41%.

The answer to question (2) cannot be determined unless you know the odds that each partner will be infected., but if the odds your partner is infected is lower than 100%, your odds will be lower than 41%.Since you cannot easily determine if your partner is infected, you should always assume your partner is infected without absolute proof to the contrary. If you don't, then your odds of infection are only as good as your judgment with regard to your partner.

The answer to (3) is 10%, because the risk is for each contact independent of any of the other contacts.

Now factor a condom into question (1) and assume it reduces the risk by a factor of 2. Your odds drop to 23%. Note that this is slightly over half of the original odds even though the risk of contact is exactly half of the risk of unprotected sex. That means that if you go out on a sex binge and have sex with 50 people in less time than you can verify you haven't been infected, the difference between using a condom and not using a condom becomes insignificant, even though it reduces the odds with each contact by exactly the same factor of 2. Th upshot of that is, that the primary benefit one derives from using occurs when your partners are few and to a greater degree than it might appear. By the same token, if your best guess is that your partner has a 50% chance of being infected, having sex with 10 people whose chance of infection is your assumption of 50%, doesn't buy you much. Using condoms with a best guess of a 50-50 chance that your partners are infected, does't buy you much more over protected sex, either.

Since the probability is the same for each partner, but the total probability is cumulative, your best piece of mind will come from being tested regularly. If after 4 partners, you know you aren't infected, then you know what the odds are for the next parter, (i.e., 10%). But since this is only a probability, you can still win the lottery.

Statistics are always true, but what counts is whether one interprets them correctly, so the exact wording of the question being answered matters a lot. Figures don't lie, but liars figure.
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 112
Posted: 8/22/2010 3:54:35 AM

Most of the people at these particular swingers parties were nice, the majority of them were older ( over 40 ) and /or overweight.

I always wondered what those peeps who populate the nude beaches did apres sand and surf- seems they congregate at S gatherings. Lol Wouldn't you think that only the most fit and desirable would engage in these activities? Like, if you got it, flaunt it?
Self-image (even when laced with delusion) trumps presentation every time.
Joined: 1/1/2008
Msg: 118
view profile
Posted: 8/22/2010 6:44:53 PM
do swingers have foreplay?
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 121
Posted: 8/23/2010 1:02:05 PM

What i have seen more than ever before are couples who are into "Cuckold". This is type of sexuality for a women is becoming more acceptable than ever before!

If I were no longer able to perform sexually ...and my wife still had the desire/need ...I would totally accept this lifestyle
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 122
Posted: 8/27/2010 7:56:30 AM

there is a certain type of power or feeling taking another man`s women in front of them and doing as you please!

When you exercise possessory rights over another human, you've pretty much foreclosed any kind of continuing relationship. They'll wander off on you, often right under your nose, and your leash will break.
I understand that you spoke of "another man's woman" in context, and it grew the point you were making; howver, that construct is not only faulty, but offensive to most.
To paraphrase an adage, if you love someone, set her free- if she comes back, or stays, she loves you, too; but if she doesn't, she never loved you back anyway, and you have lost nothing worth retaining.
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 124
Posted: 8/28/2010 3:11:59 PM

WOW! I didn`t reealize there were so many vanilla thoughts emanating from tis thread.
To criticize anyone for doing something different,sexually that you have no realm about nor venture into doesn`t mean its wrong!
Yet, some attack others who do enjoy the swingers lifestyle attempting to demean them.
These things occur. There are some who do like domination as well as people who do enjoy experimenting sexually.
Just because you have personal sexual issues, doesn`t mean you have the right to attack others who don`t quite share you`re 1950`s views..
Swingers aren`t into relationships...
Try to open your mind and understand not everyone is narrow minded..

I gotta say, this may be the first time anyone on this site has hit me with the "vanilla thoughts" charge.
I don't have any realms, nor crowns, no monarchial bloodline, either- but I have had quite a few (ad)ventures, in just about all the "realms" that I could slip into, lol, even another man's territory. Not proud of that, but I reach for it sometimes to find the audacity to speak on the "edgier" issues.
1950's thinking!! Cuckholding was an oft-used plot thickener in Shakespeare's tales, as well as Chaucer's, and it was old hat even then. There are biblical prohibitions of it, and horror stories in the old part of that book, that rabbis wrote, about what happens to those who trespass on another man's woman. And it probably never would have been included in that book of books had it not become a social problem before then. The "disapproval" you source to the '50's dates back at least two additional milennia, O Master in search of a relationship. lol
Nor was my post (or this one, either) intended to demean anyone- just pointing out some apparent pitfalls to what struck me as an aged brag.
Joined: 8/1/2012
Msg: 128
Posted: 9/26/2012 6:51:52 PM
So how does a couple go about finding another couple or person...i mean you cant just walk up to someone and ask if they swing....
Im new to this lifestyle and I swear Ive got a million and one questions and no one I know has this lifestyle. Matter of fact if my family knew they'd prolly disown me :P
Joined: 8/10/2006
Msg: 129
Posted: 9/26/2012 7:27:40 PM
Just Join AFF.........Plenty of people are into it!
Joined: 6/25/2012
Msg: 130
Posted: 9/27/2012 11:13:27 AM
Each too there own on swinging i cant see what it proves i mean as a male if i care about a women and had emotions there is no way i could share her with another man, or be with another women, it just wouldnt feel right and ethically i wouldnt let myself do that, i couldnt really respect a man who did swinging, as i proberly respect people for values, honesty, and ethics. I think if someone wants that lifestyle then its fine as long as they didnt want me and the lady i am with too be involved.
Joined: 7/27/2012
Msg: 131
Posted: 9/27/2012 11:45:06 AM
One of my best friends is a swinger and has been for years. Although it's not for me, I don't judge her on it. Anyone you run into, that has a problem with it doesn't have the swingers mindset. Not everyone will look upon that lifestyle like it's no big deal. I can't do it because I just can't see myself having sex with multiple people and multiple parties and you don't know how many other multiple partners they have had. I know all of her swinging friends. To each their own. Sure they all "claim to wear a condom" but oral sex performed on 100 of people over a life time, to be sexually liberating doesn't sit well with me. It does to her though! It's a different lifestyle for sure, and yes very open minded and liberating if that's what you call liberating. It won't and can't sit well with everybody the same as not everyone will agree with your sexual lifestyle.

You have a group of people that understand and enjoy the lifestyle .. don't worry about the rest of them that don't get you, or frown upon you. That's neither here nor there. You have the right to be who you are just as much as they do. POF unlike Adult Friend Finder does not have a sexual lifestyle selection. This is a pretty vanilla site that offers the married man an intimate encounter or a FWB is about as far as POF allows. There are no nude pictures or videos like AFF that you can post Nothing in here encourages the swinging lifestyle profile to come alive! They don't give you the choice of wanting a man AND woman or couples.

NOT that it matters but.... the site where you will be accepted the most is where people think most like you. And that would be Adult Friend Finder. There you KNOW it's people looking for sex and only sex.

Just be you and don't worry a bit what other people think of your open minded lifestyle. We all have our own life to live!
Joined: 12/29/2006
Msg: 132
Posted: 9/27/2012 12:34:20 PM
^^^^^ actually AFF is a commercial site ..they have one purpose like many vanilla dating sites make money ..and you will pay well for the opportunity to successfully use them ...Swinglifestyle dot com is kinda the pof of the swinger community POF they do have a premium status .. but the site is also like POF in that one can use it and actually contact people on a free account ... like POF they have to pay expenses some way thus the premium accounts
Joined: 1/30/2012
Msg: 133
Posted: 9/27/2012 9:04:04 PM
I went to some swinger events as a single man. Most of the people I met in the lifestyle seemed to be nice people. Some men enjoy watching their wife having sex with another man ( or woman in some cases ). Especially if it fulfills a fantasy that she has. Having said that, I would not go to a swinger events when I'm in a serious relationship.
Joined: 7/29/2014
Msg: 134
Posted: 10/23/2014 8:43:08 AM
There is nothing wrong with a couple who want to swing. Do i think you can meet swingers on POF, the answer is no, however, there are plenty of swinger sites available to satisfy one`s curosity.. As for consenting adults, whatever feels comfortable for you and your partner is acceptable IMHO...
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