Notice: Forums will be shutdown by June 2019

To focus on better serving our members, we've decided to shut down the POF forums.

While regular posting is now disabled, you can continue to view all threads until the end of June 2019. Event Hosts can still create and promote events while we work on a new and improved event creation service for you.

Thank you!

Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Is musical ability in a mate a requirement for you?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 tbuddha
Joined: 2/28/2005
Msg: 1
Is musical ability in a mate a requirement for you?Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
It's become one for me. I grew up around musical ability. I played saxaphone at 12 and I've also learned drums and have played guitar the last 14 years.

About a year ago, I dated a girl with musical ability. She played classical and jazz piano and could also play the accordion and I LOVED IT! There is really nothing hotter than a girl who can sing and play piano. Violin is pretty hot too.

Now I just can't see myself settling down with a woman without some musical talent. Just wondering if anyone else feels the same way.
 lorelei540
Joined: 8/14/2008
Msg: 2
Is musical ability in a mate a requirement for you?
Posted: 7/29/2009 3:52:39 PM
What if she plays an instrument or a style you don't like?


There is really nothing hotter than a girl who can sing and play piano.
Sorry but guy-with-guitar easily trumps girl-with-piano. =)
 techgirl27
Joined: 9/5/2005
Msg: 3
view profile
History
Is musical ability in a mate a requirement for you?
Posted: 7/29/2009 9:42:40 PM
Its not a requirement but it is a big big BIG advantage if you have it. Just as long as whoever has it doesn't pair it with arrogance. Someone to "play" with is a big dream of mine. How awesome it would be to work some of the same gigs and things. I am the "bass girl" - both electric and upright, I dont know that that's so unusual, its just awesome :)
 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 4
view profile
History
Is musical ability in a mate a requirement for you?
Posted: 7/29/2009 9:45:58 PM
Does singing in the shower count, and then playing an instrument when in bed???........

Holding a note and knowing what to do with it, does not compare to holding other things and knowing what to do with them.......

Just my opinion.......
 tbuddha
Joined: 2/28/2005
Msg: 5
Is musical ability in a mate a requirement for you?
Posted: 7/29/2009 10:58:23 PM
I just don't think people who have never taken the time to learn an instrument have much appreciation for music. Maybe it's limiting, but why should I settle?

bassgirl: If you're ever in Denver, I'll jam with ya!
 tbuddha
Joined: 2/28/2005
Msg: 6
Is musical ability in a mate a requirement for you?
Posted: 7/30/2009 8:22:26 AM
Well, I know every woman on here has her requirements that have less to do with ability, are all of you that are criticizing me going to be as harsh on them?

It's my preference. To me, learning to play an instrument is not just saying you have musical appreciation, but also a love of learning. I think those are good qualities. I find qualities like that more indicative of a person's character and personality than - say, how tall someone is, or how good looking they are, which are the requirements most women have.

The difference to me is playing an instrument is a choice. I like to base who I'm attracted to on the choices that person has made. Do they CHOOSE to smoke? Do they CHOOSE to not eat healthy or exercise?

Most people, men and women, base their decisions on vanity. How tall you are or how you look are not things people can change. I think it is far more wrong to judge people based on appearance, which pretty much all men admit to doing, and all women do as well but use fluff statements to hide the fact. Like when a woman says, "I need to feel chemistry", which really means, "You need to be attractive."

Everybody has standards they are looking for in a mate. I think it's very unfair to criticize me for looking for something like musical talent when it's something anyone can develop over time. I don't even need a girl to be great, as long as she tries.
 GeneralizingNow
Joined: 10/10/2007
Msg: 7
Is musical ability in a mate a requirement for you?
Posted: 7/30/2009 9:33:53 AM
On THAT note...I play the skin flute.
 tbuddha
Joined: 2/28/2005
Msg: 8
Is musical ability in a mate a requirement for you?
Posted: 7/30/2009 12:54:09 PM
^^^^totally! I dated a girl that would get pissed when I talked about gear cause she didn't know what I was talking about.
 sherbearr333
Joined: 11/6/2008
Msg: 9
Is musical ability in a mate a requirement for you?
Posted: 7/31/2009 5:49:13 AM
An actual musical ability is not a requirement, but it is a big plus to me. I sing karaoke, also sing and play piano in my church. A potential SO that could sing and/or play would be nice, but if he only appreciates the music, that's ok too.

It shows respect for the other person. I would hope that any potentials in my life would have their own interests that I may or may not know how to do, but I would still appreciate the individuallity.
 tbuddha
Joined: 2/28/2005
Msg: 10
Is musical ability in a mate a requirement for you?
Posted: 8/1/2009 1:04:22 PM
^^^why am I shallow for having standards for what I want in a mate? I'm sure you have things that are deal breakers, how is that any different?

I don't think it's a shallow concern. I think it comes down to how much a woman likes to learn. I'm always trying to learn new things and so I would require an inquisitive mind for a mate. I think it's hard to have such an inquisitive mind, and love music, without ever having the desire to learn to play an instrument.
 mysteriosa
Joined: 5/19/2006
Msg: 11
view profile
History
Is musical ability in a mate a requirement for you?
Posted: 8/6/2009 11:49:52 AM
This is an interesting question and something I've thought about. I know I need someone who likes music and who doesn't mind music in the house. They would also need to understand that I like practicing playing, that it's important to me and that I will spend time on music. Lots of people say they like music but they just use it as background, not really to listen to. They often don't know one song from another and are basically just saying they like it. Often, they talk over it and find it prettty irrelevant. It would be important that they didn't dislike the kind of music I like, otherwise they would be unhappy too. But as far as having to have musical ability, no, this is not vital. It's fun to be with people who do have different interests and getting on with each other and having fun together is more important than that they should share my interests. If you want someone who plays an instrument, then that's what you should look for, but someone who understands the importance of music might not have learnt to play.
 Brownlady1953
Joined: 12/12/2008
Msg: 12
Is musical ability in a mate a requirement for you?
Posted: 8/6/2009 1:28:14 PM
As long as he can "play my violin", I'm cool.......
 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 14
Is musical ability in a mate a requirement for you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 4:57:16 AM
Music is an extremely important part of my life. But I would never require my boyfriend to play or sing, but I love the fact that he appreciates my talents. He is very supportive of my performing and that means the world to me.
Funny, my ex-husband was a musician, a bass player and singer, and he was so jealous of my talents. He always tried to put my abilities down, my songwriting down, my vocal ability down...and he was furious when we would compete against one another and I would beat him. He would pout for days, accuse the judges of favoritism, call them idiots, he was such a baby.
But then again, he was an idiot.
Beth
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 15
Is musical ability in a mate a requirement for you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 8:55:54 AM
Music is huge in my life, so a guy's gotta at least like music and appreciate it. A musician or someone who works with it to some extent is better...

The only way it would be a problem is if she has absolutely no appreciation for my musical side....and if she's constantly complaining about my "weirdo" music...and shutting it off....

Headphones easily solve that problem.
 TheReason_
Joined: 5/16/2009
Msg: 16
view profile
History
Is musical ability in a mate a requirement for you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 10:16:15 PM
I'm a musician, I play guitar, sing, and can play drums really poorly. I've taught guitar etc. I've never dated anyone who could play guitar. I think it would be pretty fun and great to play some songs together, especially if they could sing!!!!

:)
Show ALL Forums  > Dating and Love Advice  > Is musical ability in a mate a requirement for you?