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Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > STRESS. Got some?      Home login  
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 crystalspirit
Joined: 8/14/2009
Msg: 33
STRESS. Got some?Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
When my life gets stressful ~ I naturally withdraw to let myself mentally process what's happening. Unfortunately a friend will sometimes call before I have my wits about me to turn off the phone ~ and get an ear full ~ but ~ I try not to unload on friends anymore. I'd much prefer to let things settle into a better perspective and if I need advice I can call a friend with more clarity of what I'm asking. Of course, that's my life being single. If I had a man in my life ~ it would be nice to give him some earplugs and then he could just hold me till I was ready to share ....
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 34
STRESS. Got some?
Posted: 8/22/2009 11:43:43 AM

There is good stress and bad stress. Having a lot on your plate isn't necessarily a bad thing. It really depends on who the person is, and what your expectations are. I really wouldn't want someone who has so little on her plate that she just lays about the pool all day tanning. I'd rather be with someone who has an active, passionate life. But then that is me, your mileage may vary.


Same for me. Lots of people wonder why I am not on some beach drinking pina coladas in my retirement. I would be bored to death in no time flat..

thecatsmeoww
 Sapphireeyes
Joined: 1/13/2008
Msg: 35
STRESS. Got some?
Posted: 8/22/2009 4:33:45 PM
I would love to date someone under a ton of stress... it isnt about what someone can be to you when times are good...anyone can treat you well...it is who someone is to you when times are tough!

Something will always happen in life...we make saying to help ourselves deal with it (shit happens for example)...but what comes out of it is a true indication of who we are as a person...anyone can crumble...I have shared my story with a few people who are totally amazed at what I went thru and how I handed it...they admit they couldnt have done it and one man said he would be afraid to be involved with me cause nothing bad had ever happened in his life and he had no clue how he would handle it if it did.

I feel perception is the largest part of how you can handle stress well...you can let it eat away at you or you can find ways to cope with it....if you break up things into smaller pieces get your mind around it and then work things out in your own head...you can own the stress without the stress owning you..

The issues is finding someone who is under stress and those who insist on drama...there is a big difference.
 *LadyLinda*
Joined: 6/30/2008
Msg: 36
STRESS. Got some?
Posted: 8/23/2009 5:57:29 AM
It certainly makes it difficult...especially if one persons life is balanced and the others is not.
No matter how we deny it, a relationship in general no matter how good...adds a certain amount of stress to our lives.....and a person who is already in overload may think that the relationship is the most diposable at the time. If the stress relates to kids and family...well you can't change that...
Many of us on this site are not ready....really our lives aren't ready to accomodate a relationship.....but we try.
 Petrified_Wood
Joined: 7/29/2009
Msg: 37
STRESS. Got some?
Posted: 8/24/2009 7:44:03 AM
If you had an awful lot on your plate, would you want to or could you date anyone? Or have you?


I've been extremely stressed lately due to finances. Dating hasn't been very successful - not for lack of wonderful dates. It's like there are no receptors for romance. I don't have any problem involving myself in the lives of friends, or diving into my work, but for some reason dating is something that requires a lot more effort - in the self-appreciation department. I suspect when the stress lifts, women will notice the difference in me and will be flocking to me again but for now, I'm taking a break.
 Doc_Sage
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 38
STRESS. Got some?
Posted: 8/24/2009 11:19:39 AM
The question should not be to have stress or not but how do we deal with it. Some of us thrive on stress while other have ulcers just thinking of it.

I seem to do very well under stress not that I had much of it anymore. I am financially secure, a good job and in a wonderful relation. Kids are grown and on their own. Health is good and I live in a great area.

Wish the best to all of you.
 Petrified_Wood
Joined: 7/29/2009
Msg: 39
STRESS. Got some?
Posted: 8/24/2009 12:33:55 PM
...Do you have 6 months of canned goods stored...?


I did - six months ago.
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 40
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History
STRESS. Got some?
Posted: 8/24/2009 1:32:29 PM

And don't forget, Xam, everyone should have a gun, when this time comes! (accordingly to my retired military brother).

And what do you suggest we Canadians have? A water pistol or a sling shot?

OT: I can't provide the statistics for this but I recently read or heard somewhere that we encounter stressors at least 50 times a day. Some are so minor and minute that I suppose we wouldn't even call them stressors but apparently they are because our body/mind does goes into the fight or flight mode even though it may not be apparent to us.
 lonesome wonderer
Joined: 12/26/2007
Msg: 41
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STRESS. Got some?
Posted: 8/24/2009 4:49:26 PM

If you had an awful lot on your plate, would you want to or could you date anyone? Or have you?

omg, when i read the opening post i could have sworn that the op was talking about me but as i read on....actually i haven't dated anyone (other than 1st meetings) for 3 years now. ummm, yeah, i'm being honest....i've been under a lot of stress (and depression) and being single sometimes helps but there's times when i need that hug for comfort. some people in here know me in person, some posted with me, and others are still learning more about me. well, each and every one of us has (had) been with stress for one thing or the other, some are able to cope better than others. i found it to be calm and stress relief reading and posting in here.

now, would i date someone even if they have a full plate, sure will. i feel as if we'd be able to help each other out psychologically as well as emotionally. there must also be that certain attraction and not to be taken as pity.
 Petrified_Wood
Joined: 7/29/2009
Msg: 42
STRESS. Got some?
Posted: 8/26/2009 5:31:00 PM
I've found that killing ants one by one is a nice stress reliever. What? They're all over the place in summer.
 the SoldierByte
Joined: 12/25/2005
Msg: 43
STRESS. Got some?
Posted: 8/26/2009 5:54:52 PM

STRESS. Got some?

Question..??
Heck yes.........!!!!

Your forum posting privilages have been revoked until 8/26/2009 410 PM Pacific Standard Time by ~*~Puddles~*~

1. Take 3 days to read the rules on posting

2. Stop with the smiley hell!

3. Ff you have nothing constructive that adds to the debate then dont post

4. Stop with the chatting again see #3

I is back and MORE "stressed" then ever...!!!!!
---SoldierByte----
 Free-At-Last
Joined: 7/15/2009
Msg: 44
STRESS. Got some?
Posted: 8/26/2009 7:31:53 PM
STRESS???
WHO'S STRESSED??
I'M NOT STRESSED!!!
I'M FINE.....
F = fvcked-up
I = irrational
N = neurotic
E = emotional




 kari135
Joined: 9/1/2009
Msg: 45
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History
STRESS. Got some?
Posted: 9/17/2009 6:18:53 PM
My plate is usually full enough to rival that of a ditch digger who's just gone through an 'all you can eat' buffet. If it wasn't for stress, I'm not sure I'd know I was alive. It never kept me from either dating or a serious relationship, though. That was my mini-vacation from Reality. If things are screwed up enough, I have other women I can talk to, I don't need to involve someone I'm interested in. On the other hand, if he's really interested right back, we sort of blend forces and are stronger for it. One was, and we did. Then the stress became ours and not mine alone, just like the good times.
 LOVESTRUCK_wannabe
Joined: 5/24/2009
Msg: 46
STRESS. Got some?
Posted: 9/17/2009 6:34:22 PM
Depends. I've had lots of stress at times but also lots of time on my hands so at those times, sure, I'll date.

And I've had times when yeah, there's ongoing stress but it's not so bad but I've made a committment to spend a great deal of times with friends, family, school, or work and I just want to focus on the task at hand. That's when I usually hide my profile.
 verygreeneyez
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 47
STRESS. Got some?
Posted: 9/17/2009 10:24:44 PM
~OT~ For the longest time I wondered why I had so much stress in my life, then I stepped away from some key individuals, and it was the strangest thing ~~ virtually stress-free. I really wasn't aware how seriously toxic some individuals can be. Today? I don't even feel stress with my most intense clients. It's amazing what it feels like to just love being in/on the world feels like.
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 48
view profile
History
STRESS. Got some?
Posted: 9/18/2009 8:06:55 AM
Stress is part of life. Too much stress can be deadly - heart attacks and a multitude of other physical ailments can be caused by stress. Obviously, some handle stress (and full-plates) much better than others. Stress doesn't do well with me. I can handle a certain amount, but I make an effort to avoid it when at all possible (i.e., if I'm going on a date I leave the house early, so I'm to freaking at traffice because the back-up on the highway is going to make me late picking her up!)


~OT~ For the longest time I wondered why I had so much stress in my life, then I stepped away from some key individuals, and it was the strangest thing ~~ virtually stress-free. I really wasn't aware how seriously toxic some individuals can be. Today? I don't even feel stress with my most intense clients. It's amazing what it feels like to just love being in/on the world feels like.


Excellent point. Especially holds true in romantic relationships. Soon after my divorce I met this lady from my church with two small children. I fell in love with her and the kids and really wanted to make things work. She soon told me (almost proudly) that she was "choleric" and had "mood swings" I didn't fully understand what that meant, but soon found out after a year of the buzzsaw of ups and downs and random changes of temperament. I think a classic example of this was when one time I tried to suprise her by doing her dishes for her (we didn't live together). She came up to me somewhat upset and told me not to do that anymore. I asked why.... she said "you use too much rinse water!" This was one of the less hostile episodes, but you get the idea. Stressful relationship? yepper. Some other guy might have handled it better, but she kept my stomach in knots. Sad thing, she had a lot a great qualities, too, which is why I hung on as long as I could. But it finally dawned on me that the stress was destructive and it wasn't going to change, so I ended things.
You need to know your "stress-level". Some can have that plate full and still have a healthy relationship. Multi-tasking is a challenge to some and a detriment to others.

*why write a paragraph, when you can write a novel?*
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 49
view profile
History
STRESS. Got some?
Posted: 9/18/2009 8:09:26 AM
Stress is part of life. Too much stress can be deadly - heart attacks and a multitude of other physical ailments can be caused by stress. Obviously, some handle stress (and full-plates) much better than others. Stress doesn't do well with me. I can handle a certain amount, but I make an effort to avoid it when at all possible (i.e., if I'm going on a date I leave the house early, so I'm not freaking at traffic because the back-up on the highway is going to make me late picking her up!)


~OT~ For the longest time I wondered why I had so much stress in my life, then I stepped away from some key individuals, and it was the strangest thing ~~ virtually stress-free. I really wasn't aware how seriously toxic some individuals can be. Today? I don't even feel stress with my most intense clients. It's amazing what it feels like to just love being in/on the world feels like.


Excellent point. Especially holds true in romantic relationships. Soon after my divorce I met this lady from my church with two small children. I fell in love with her and the kids and really wanted to make things work. She soon told me (almost proudly) that she was "choleric" and had "mood swings" I didn't fully understand what that meant, but soon found out after a year of the buzzsaw of ups and downs and random changes of temperament. I think a classic example of this was when one time I tried to suprise her by doing her dishes for her (we didn't live together). She came up to me somewhat upset and told me not to do that anymore. I asked why.... she said "you use too much rinse water!" This was one of the less hostile episodes, but you get the idea. Stressful relationship? yepper. Some other guy might have handled it better, but she kept my stomach in knots. Sad thing, she had a lot a great qualities, too, which is why I hung on as long as I could. But it finally dawned on me that the stress was destructive and it wasn't going to change, so I ended things.
You need to know your "stress-level". Some can have that plate full and still have a healthy relationship. Multi-tasking is a challenge to some and a detriment to others.

*why write a paragraph, when you can write a novel?*
 DaytonDennis
Joined: 6/28/2009
Msg: 50
view profile
History
STRESS. Got some?
Posted: 9/18/2009 3:13:34 PM
arggg @ double post. Not sure how that happened. TGIF *sigh* Would a few of you click on "DELETE POST" on the last one so maybe the mod will take it off?
 KPOL52
Joined: 3/14/2018
Msg: 52
STRESS. Got some?
Posted: 3/22/2018 10:22:43 PM
They say timing is everything.

Sometimes, "they" are right.
 julystorm7
Joined: 12/25/2017
Msg: 53
STRESS. Got some?
Posted: 3/28/2018 9:50:24 AM
Stress? LOL.

I am not meeting anyone in person right now. Stress is a factor. Time is a bigger factor.
 Nestaron
Joined: 10/11/2017
Msg: 54
STRESS. Got some?
Posted: 3/29/2018 2:57:48 PM
Yes I am very stressed I got a call today for orientation on a job I wanted it so bad got the call first tears of joy no kidding now I have all kinds of worry like what if I can't do it. It's been too long and combined with all the stress factors of starting a new job but for me doubly so cause I wasn't expecting a call as it was my first resume, and cover letter blew chunks and wasn't really up to par. Daughter looked and said why you crying I got it orientation Tuesday, and explained I going back to work. Now really doubting if I should first time she ever seen me doubt myself she didn't know what to think. Yeah even confident people aren't so confident when they are out of their comfort zone they built, I know it's just be myself and put my best effort in but really easier said than done.
 _Rise_Above_This_
Joined: 1/14/2018
Msg: 55
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STRESS. Got some?
Posted: 3/30/2018 7:33:51 AM
^^^^^

I'm not sure when this was actually posted but I'm hoping you've slept since then. Do you feel a little different now that you've slept?
 MachIMustangII
Joined: 2/16/2018
Msg: 56
no stress please, we're British
Posted: 3/30/2018 7:03:37 PM
well, hope there was good news for Nessie. My bestie found out a day ago she's going to get fired--she's 61 and her debt I think is up in the six figures now. That can't be fun to have a child see us at our low. As for stress, oysters make pearls as a reaction to the stress of sand in their soft areas. Problems make inventors invent devices to solve them, otherwise we remain at status quo with whatever we have decided to accept.
 NewYorker58
Joined: 6/11/2013
Msg: 57
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History
STRESS. Got some?
Posted: 4/3/2018 10:27:05 PM
Nest, it's completely normal and understandable to feel the way you do after not working for a while. They put you into orientation, because they felt you could do the job. They see it in you. See it in yourself! Good luck!
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