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Show ALL Forums  > Relationships  > You have an Amazing way with Words. But can you hold a Conversation?      Home login  
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 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 2
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You have an Amazing way with Words. But can you hold a Conversation?Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Yes, an expressive and well written profile is a significant indication of being a great conversationalist.

My sweetie's profile was smart azz and highly expressive... translated into exactly who he is IRL. He gave great email, I thought we'd see if he could hold his own when we moved to the faster pace of IM (some people give great email, but require time to think about what they are going to say) and then the real time of phone.

Conversational compatibility is one of the primary areas of compatibility I was looking for.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 3
You have an Amazing way with Words. But can you hold a Conversation?
Posted: 8/3/2009 7:59:38 AM
I have been told that my profile says that I am negative and boring, but on the phone and in real life I seem to be nothing like the person depicted in my profile, as I am witty, fun, and open minded. Most men I have talked to on the phone haven't read my profile closely, for when I say I have not been married and am a plump woman they usually have to go because someone is at the door. Honesty and reading comprehension are both traits I find appealing in a man, so at that point we have eliminated each other from our perspective pools of fish.
 spinmeister
Joined: 4/29/2009
Msg: 4
You have an Amazing way with Words. But can you hold a Conversation?
Posted: 8/3/2009 8:31:15 AM
I am a wordsmith myself sleuth but think it very advantageous to get to at least IM if not a phone call asap. Sure you can eliminate people on the phone (dumb, obnoxious, demanding, egotistical...) but what astounds me is more people are reluctant to get on the phone. What can it hurt???

I am married so are you, ultimate discretion let's talk on the phone. Sometimes profiles can be a bit misleading which is confusing. I wish I could meet more people publically so that a determination can be made after genuine interaction rather than a photograph.

People can always surprise you.

Good luck
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 5
You have an Amazing way with Words. But can you hold a Conversation?
Posted: 8/3/2009 8:43:30 AM
At a bar, do people not dress up for initial attraction? You're not going to think much of me even if i'm a really great guy if i come in wearing flannel and torn up pants with my flip flops. Something has to get you interested long enough to see that the rest of me is pretty awesome.

I would hope people in a bar dress for overall impression, not to get dates or women to look further at them...looking good isn't always about impressing someone else, sometimes it's just about looking good. Contrary to what men (would like to) think, most women who dress up to go out mostly just like an excuse to dress up.

However what if what I see intrigues me to look further, and there's nothing else going on? That's time I can't get back. I think that's more what that poster was saying.

In my case, I like people who can write well, speak well, like to read and are good socially with humor and conversation, so people who don't read profiles or messages thoroughly, write good clear profiles or messages, or translate well on the phone won't meet me. Unfortunately I come from a media/entertainment background, so all that's part of the attraction for me.

My biggest problem/pet peeve on and offline is a guy who initiates conversation but has nothing to say. What's the point of that?
 IsabelK
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 6
You have an Amazing way with Words. But can you hold a Conversation?
Posted: 8/3/2009 10:16:15 AM
I'm more comfortable with written than with spoken communication. When I write something, I can sit back and think about what I'd like to say, without feeling that I'm boring the other person or taking up her/his time.

In person, I tend to be more shy: I prefer listening to speaking. I don't think I'm a good conversationalist. I'm still sassy and funny ... but my "default" mode is quiet. I'm not good at gabbing just to fill up the silence; in fact, I prefer it!

- Librarian in training ...
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 7
You have an Amazing way with Words. But can you hold a Conversation?
Posted: 8/3/2009 10:44:01 AM
If a man starts the sex talk crap he is history as far as a phone conversation, and I am glad he was able to weed himself out of the running so easily.
 Fifi47
Joined: 8/19/2004
Msg: 8
You have an Amazing way with Words. But can you hold a Conversation?
Posted: 8/3/2009 11:03:53 AM
She can tell that she does not want to have sex with you for 6 months after one phone conversation and/or that she wants to marry you? What are you saying to these women in a phone conversation?
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 9
You have an Amazing way with Words. But can you hold a Conversation?
Posted: 8/3/2009 11:46:39 AM
People get so much advice from people (in here and in real life) about
what their profile should say that maybe often times it ends up not being
something they would say if not prompted. I can see where it would be
possible to think the person you're talking to is different than the person
that wrote the profile.
 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 10
You have an Amazing way with Words. But can you hold a Conversation?
Posted: 8/3/2009 11:57:39 AM
I have had many varied experiences with the gentlemen on this site. From some with beautiful profiles and pictures showing up looking like trolls with the manners of a pig, to guys with horrible profiles who turned out to be wonderful people that amused me and were able to hold wonderful conversations.
My boyfriend is one of the latter... his picture was cute, but his profile sucked, because he hates writing and it was a chore for him to even fill it out. He is not uneducated, this man has a Master's, but he is a numbers guy, and he thought the whole profile thing was just a chore.
But we have amazing conversations, he is very communicative with me about anything and everything, and he cracks me up with his great sense of humor.
I really is all a crap shoot when you're lookng for the right partner. Sometimes you have to just roll the dice and hold your breath!
Beth
 HazelRose
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 11
You have an Amazing way with Words. But can you hold a Conversation?
Posted: 8/3/2009 1:31:36 PM
Sometimes I think that people are afraid of speaking to each other on the phone. Somehow, I have become old fashioned because I really do not like to IM or text a person. Things get lost in translation, and I want to hear the person's voice. Weird, I know, but I grew up loving the sound of a phone ringing for me that was not a solicitor LOL! I cannot fully understand the fact that people have grown so distant. I do not even see kids playing in the park anymore. Worse, I can be with a group of friends, and 1 of them will start texting another who could not join us. My mantra "talk to people face to face". That's worth its weight in diamonds and gold.
 jadegreen
Joined: 2/3/2006
Msg: 12
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You have an Amazing way with Words. But can you hold a Conversation?
Posted: 8/3/2009 2:11:56 PM
In my experience, most of the people that have well written profiles can speak well too...
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 13
You have an Amazing way with Words. But can you hold a Conversation?
Posted: 8/3/2009 2:32:20 PM
I have been fooled by men who seemed to be conversant on the phone but were bummers in real life--that's why I now want to meet ASAP. Others, I knew after "hello" that there was no reason to continue.

I haven't read many profiles that impressed me much. However, words are my life's breath, so maybe I am a bit more critical than some.

I think it is funny when men state their profession as "writer" and their profiles are dull, lifeless, and show none of their purported talent/profession. What do they write? Things to bore people so that they watch TV?
 sweetest
Joined: 10/8/2007
Msg: 14
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You have an Amazing way with Words. But can you hold a Conversation?
Posted: 8/3/2009 5:09:19 PM
I'm one of those who has no problem holding a conversation. I love conversation! I look for clues in profiles that suggest someone who has this facility too. This is something entirely different btw, from being 'chatty'...

When people initially write me I can usually tell with the back and forth of emails whether or not things will 'flow' on a meet---whether there is some substance to the person. I love to have the opportunity to learn from people. Many of the men I've had long-term relationships are extremely bright. I need to see more than a glimpse here and usually do. Occasionally, I've been wrong about this...but not all that often.

Like others, I don't believe in prolonged email chat--a phone call is always a good next step before a meet after a day or two, as cadence, pitch, tone of voice...all factor in attraction for me.
 majyk1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 15
You have an Amazing way with Words. But can you hold a Conversation?
Posted: 8/3/2009 5:22:21 PM
Profile are ok I suppose. Over all they do what they are intended for (sales pitch). However I write like crap, dont have spell check and with a profile you get no emotion whatsoever. I'll take the basics of a profile but I'd rather have in person and/or the phone any day!
 sweetcherie
Joined: 6/2/2008
Msg: 16
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You have an Amazing way with Words. But can you hold a Conversation?
Posted: 8/3/2009 5:26:57 PM
Phone conversation will not be the deciding factor in whether or not I meet someone, although a great phone voice goes a long way. Those high, squeaky voices are a bit of a put off and usually go for the guy with the deep Barry White voice, but it's the man and his ability to write that will get me every time. I have often said that your profile is like a resume and you should proofread it, because you want it to send a clear message to potential dates. In my profile I clearly state that the ability to write in complete sentances is something I look for. I have found that someone whose ability to write takes my breath away and leaves me in awe of his talent. And yes, he has the ability to communicate as effectively in person as he did on his profile. I do believe that there is a connection between the two.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 17
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You have an Amazing way with Words. But can you hold a Conversation?
Posted: 8/3/2009 5:33:04 PM
Phone has ruled it out but not because they couldn't hold a conversation, because I discovered fundamental values or character traits that were a significant problem and not one that could be overcome, ergo no point in meeting.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 18
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Example of appalling communication skills / general thickness
Posted: 8/3/2009 7:37:40 PM
oh my... I've had almost this EXACT conversation... with slight modifications...

him "hello is that xxxxx"

me "yes, hi"

him "don't you know who this is"

me "err, no"

him "I'm sure you know who this is"

me "well, er, no I don't know who this is, why don't you tell me?"

him "how many guys do you give your number to then"

me "errm, not many, but I don't play these games"

him (in nasty tone) "Well, if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you"

me " ok then, good-bye"


As the conversation went on, I did figure out who he was, but by that time I was ticked with his nonsense. A few months later I opened my profile on this site, and he contacted me here acting as if nothing had transpired between us. A prime candidate for read/delete.
 Viperess
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 19
You have an Amazing way with Words. But can you hold a Conversation?
Posted: 8/3/2009 10:09:19 PM
I am not only known for being able to write well, but also being very articulate via the phone, IM, in person etc. I am attracted to the same type of personality, however in the online world a profile can be very deceiving. I was corresponding with a dude who SEEMED intelligent and witty in his bio but when we would message he'd ALWAYS preface every response with some kind of corny 'joke' and worse he'd end his commentary with the same. The amazing part was he'd CONSTANTLY tell me how 'funny' he THOUGHT he was yet I had never let out even a feeble chuckle. I was growing annoyed by trying to hold SOME kind of conversation in between his 'jokes'. Out of sheer morbid curiosity I wanted to talk to him on the phone so I could possibly rule out nerves on his part, so I took his number and blocked mine of course, in case he was an imbecile. The word 'IMBECILE ' was a generous way to describe how he behaved when we talked. I felt as if I was talking to RAINMAN for God's sake !!! He stammered, stuttered, and rambled on about going UNDERWEAR shopping for 'Fruit of the Loom' 'tighty whities' nonetheless. I don't think he put a simple declarative sentence together, and those 'jokes' kept on coming and the bizarre factor bordered on circus FREAK SHOW fodder. I do believe he missed taking his MEDS that particular evening and I was about to have an aneurysm listening to him RAMBLE on about NOTHING. I could see him in my mind with two finger guns, making a 'clicking' sound and winking. The only 'humor' that was applicable was the fact he was a TRAIN WRECK conversation wise. ~flings 'DUNCE' hat at the guy~
 DeepLuv09
Joined: 7/24/2009
Msg: 20
You have an Amazing way with Words. But can you hold a Conversation?
Posted: 8/3/2009 10:22:28 PM
I think there is definitely a correlation between being able to express onesself articulately in writing and in speech/conversation. I have also noticed when I email back and forth with my friends that the ones (usually males) that are very short and curt in email also tend to be people of few words in conversation and vice versa.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 21
You have an Amazing way with Words. But can you hold a Conversation?
Posted: 8/4/2009 4:15:15 AM

I think there is definitely a correlation between being able to express onesself articulately in writing and in speech/conversation. I have also noticed when I email back and forth with my friends that the ones (usually males) that are very short and curt in email also tend to be people of few words in conversation and vice versa.

Very true. I tend to find the same...
 Gwendolyn2010
Joined: 1/22/2006
Msg: 22
Example of appalling communication skills / general thickness
Posted: 8/4/2009 7:16:23 AM

I had given a guy my mobile number


I exchanged emails with a man for about a week and then "talked" on Y messenger with him. One evening, we were on that medium and wanting to judge his conversation skills on the phone, I sent him my cell number.

So, what did he do?

He texted me.

Had I wanted to continue typing, I would have done so on Y where I have a full keyboard.

We didn't continue texting and we never met.
 whytwater
Joined: 8/7/2008
Msg: 23
You have an Amazing way with Words. But can you hold a Conversation?
Posted: 8/5/2009 6:57:41 AM

I can talk to a rock. But the question is, can it talk back? And if it can , does it have anything interesting to say?


Dayym!! Communicates with rocks!! I wanna meet this chick, so we can talk about what she's smokin', and whether she has enough to share.

OP, there's nothing quite like a face-t0-face to flesh out a pof fish. Cuts out the ghost-writer possibility (this is a competitive market, several do have professional glamour pics, so it's a small step to having a profile, and even emails, ghosted by more talented writers). But if you're not up for that kind of investment in an unknown, IM is real time, and probably a more reliable indicator of conversational skill, ad lib humor, etc.
 IsabelK
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 24
You have an Amazing way with Words. But can you hold a Conversation?
Posted: 8/6/2009 12:17:56 PM
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!

Maybe we shouldn't have profiles at all, if so many are just advertising lies. How about having a long questionnaire - would that elicit more honest responses? Or a personality questionnaire similar to the ones used in conjunction with employment background checks?

ginger-kitty - What a traumatic date. Yuck. Keep getting out there - they can't all possibly be like this!
 KPOL52
Joined: 3/14/2018
Msg: 25
Following instincts could be good advice
Posted: 3/24/2018 5:35:20 PM
Well written profiles today are as rare as double rainbows. For those seeking more than pen pals or FWBs? If they are not willing or unable to put any effort into their AD? Make no mistake. It IS an AD.

How much effort do you think they will be willing to put into any kind of Relationship?
 LetitiaLeGrande
Joined: 3/22/2015
Msg: 26
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Following instincts could be good advice
Posted: 3/24/2018 6:41:57 PM
If I would see poor spelling and grammar it would be an immediate turn off I am afraid. I am a pedant I admit it but it is carelessness and can show a lack of education.
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