Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Health issues and finding a partner at our age      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 101
Health issues and finding a partner at our agePage 5 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
Vaginal Dryness

Black cohosh
Used for relief from vaginal dryness and hot flushes.

Wild and Mexican yam:
Helps with hormonal imbalance since they present estrogenic and progestational properties.

Many women respond very well to daily intake of whole soy foods, which are high in isoflavones and lignans known to be helpful for vaginal dryness. One particularly good option is Revival Soy.
While soy and flaxseed contain some of the highest levels of phytonutrients helpful for vaginal dryness, there are many other foods that contain phytoestrogens which, by mimicking the body’s natural estrogens, serve as a buffer when levels fluctuate. Adding these foods to your diet could give you the extra little hormone boost you need. Foods high in phytoestrogens include soy, other legumes, nuts, apples, celery, cherries, flaxseed, and many more. As always, eating a diet rich and varied in plant foods helps balance your hormones, and it’s one of the easiest ways to treat vaginal dryness!

Giving your body the highest level of nutritional support available is always a good idea, no matter what symptoms you’re experiencing. Your body simply cannot function
normally or heal itself without the necessary ingredients. In the case of vaginal dryness, vitamin A, beta carotene, and B vitamins are particularly helpful. We know also that
omega-3 essential fatty acids support healthy cell membranes and hormonal balance.

Bingo bingo bingo

thecatsmeoww
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 102
view profile
History
Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/9/2009 12:18:54 PM
Alrighty then ... "cat" ... great post.

I do believe that between the two of us we are helping a lot of women (who may be reading but just not posting) about something that should concern us because apparently it also concerns our partners when they want sex and we just don't feel like it ... for whatever reason.

I know that's not a problem with me as I have been on my HRT since 1985 when I had to have my hysterectomy and had no choice but to have the HRT. Since the presence of Estrogen in our bodies also keeps us from soaking the calcium OUT of our bones (later in life), we actually need to find some way to maintain Estrogen levels ... whether by tablet form or holistically with the things mentioned in the above post.

A lot of women don't realize that the loss of Estrogen contributes to Osteoporosis, but also brittle bones which means you could break an ankle or foot just by jumping down too hard on your foot ... even stepping off a curb the wrong way.

http://www.sheknows.com/articles/806892.htm

Women/Post-menopausal women
:
Females are born with smaller, less dense bones than men, and recent studies suggest adult females only get half of their RDA of calcium. It’s also known that estrogen helps protect bones from calcium loss, meaning that after menopause, low estrogen levels leave women even more vulnerable to calcium loss.

Finding a way to add Calcium and Vitamin D to your diet as well as the exercises that cat has been encouraging ... will maintain bones ... help you avoid getting that stooped over look as well ... makes us more appealing to men as we age.
 RenaissanceMan1950
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 103
Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/9/2009 12:26:25 PM
Is this the gynecology thread? Just asking.
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 104
view profile
History
Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/9/2009 1:11:03 PM
I sure don't mention health issues ... I mean ... I ASSUME there will be SOME health issues at our decrepit advanced ages!

but for an opening ... I don't intend to LEAD with health issues ... now ... if he looks like a KEEPER ... THEN I'd be interested in knowing potential health issues ... if we're thinking a more physical relationship, I'd CERTAINLY want to know about any potential STDs !!! or any other communicable illness!

I had a "meet/greet" with a man who looked considerably older than his photo ... whose profile INSISTED and, in person, he ASSURED me repeatedly that he was in "Perfect Health" ... while intermittently drowsing off to sleep ... after a minute or three, he'd rouse himself and act as tho there'd been no interruption in the conversation ... once, he almost fell into his food ... so he's PROBABLY not a keeper ... there's no reason to discuss health issues with someone like this cuz ... 1st off, he lies ... and 2ndly, I don't CARE ... because he lies ...

I'm looking to find someone with whom I can have a magical connection ... I don't ANTICIPATE that ... but I'm not gonna water down any potential magic by discussing health issues!
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 105
view profile
History
Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/9/2009 1:22:17 PM
I sure don't mention health issues ... I mean ... I ASSUME there will be SOME health issues at our decrepit advanced ages!

but for an opening ... I don't intend to LEAD with health issues ... now ... if he looks like a KEEPER ... THEN I'd be interested in knowing potential health issues ... if we're thinking a more physical relationship, I'd CERTAINLY want to know about any potential STDs !!! or any other communicable illness!

I had a "meet/greet" with a man who looked considerably older than his photo ... whose profile INSISTED and, in person, he ASSURED me repeatedly that he was in "Perfect Health" ... while intermittently drowsing off to sleep ... after a minute or three, he'd rouse himself and act as tho there'd been no interruption in the conversation ... once, he almost fell into his food ... so he's PROBABLY not a keeper ... there's no reason to discuss health issues with someone like this cuz ... 1st off, he lies ... and 2ndly, I don't CARE ... because he lies ...

P.S. answering the original post here, not the ones about vaginal dryness, etc ... not that they're not interesting ... they are!
I'm looking to find someone with whom I can have a magical connection ... I don't ANTICIPATE that ... but I'm not gonna water down any potential magic by discussing health issues!
 RenaissanceMan1950
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 106
Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/9/2009 1:27:03 PM

. I ASSUME there will be SOME health issues at our decrepit advanced ages!


The following is a complete list of my health issues:





I don't think that being in one's late 50's means that one should assume "health issues". I am on no prescription drugs, and other than a rare "ache" or "pain", don't feel much different than I did at 30. In fact, I weigh what I did at 30, have the same amount of hair on my head, etc..
 eschec mat
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 107
Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/9/2009 1:42:14 PM
Oh don't forget that muscle does decrease as we get older, so weight isn't an accurate measure of your health and fitness. Muscle weighs more than fat, so if you loose muscle and gain fat, you actually gain more fat. And if you saw my post above, it doesn't matter how thin you are, if you have belly fat, you could have problems.

I am sure you do go to the doctor regularly and get all the necessary tests including STD testing. I wish I was as lucky as you Ren!

Personally I wish I didn't have to go to the doctor every 6 months. But I guess keeping my cholesterol in check will be a life long struggle as I don't want to go back on meds. I see the problems my big bro faces/has and the medication he takes at 52. I don't want that to be me.

Thanks again about the post about menopause etc. because I can't do weight bearing and probably should ask my dr. how much calcium supplement I should take now.

To me telling my bf about my cholesterol and watching my diet is important/was because he is a good cook, but he never has had to watch oils, butters, etc.

EDIT TO BELOW: You missed my " I wish I was as lucky as you Ren!" I am sure many people wish they didn't have to worry about talking to someone before you meet about health issues.
 RenaissanceMan1950
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 108
Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/9/2009 1:49:17 PM

Oh don't forget that muscle does decrease as we get older, so weight isn't an accurate measure of your health and fitness. Muscle weighs more than fat, so if you loose muscle and gain fat, you actually gain more fat. And if you saw my post above, it doesn't matter how thin you are, if you have belly fat, you could have problems.

I am sure you do go to the doctor regularly and get all the necessary tests including STD testing.


No, I'm not as toned as I was as a Varsity athlete in high school, but I do floor exercises and hand weights, so as to maintain some abdominal and bicep muscles. So, if not having "6 pack abs" is a health issue, then "guilty". I have a 33" waist, and a 32" inseam, so I am striving for a 32" waist. I never claimed "perfection", merely good general health.

I do go to the doctor for an annual check up, and my cholesterol is fine. I am also tested annually for STDs, just to be on the safe side. I don't go every 6 months, and I rarely get sick, so it is just that one time a year.

I'm not an atypical 59 year old man. Most people, who make any effort to stay in shape, are reasonably healthy. I don't ask for anything that I don't bring to the table as part of my "offer".
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 109
Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/9/2009 2:15:03 PM

Women/Post-menopausal women:
Females are born with smaller, less dense bones than men, and recent studies suggest adult females only get half of their RDA of calcium. It’s also known that estrogen helps protect bones from calcium loss, meaning that after menopause, low estrogen levels leave women even more vulnerable to calcium loss.

Finding a way to add Calcium and Vitamin D to your diet as well as the exercises that cat has been encouraging ... will maintain bones ... help you avoid getting that stooped over look as well ... makes us more appealing to men as we age.


I have been post- menopausual for 20 plus years now.. it is hard to believe it has been that long.. I actually had to help my mother when she was going through it. I have also been eating a very healthy diet for about 20 years now. I can't stress the importance of it little to do with looks but for you general well being and health.

Although I myself do take vitamins I do realize they are never as good as eating the real food. Some say they are not effective at all and not to even bother with them. Nothing that is synthesized is ever as good as the real deal.

I have never suffered a broken a bone in my life and do not expect to..

thecatsmeoww
 RenaissanceMan1950
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 110
Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/9/2009 2:25:07 PM

Although I myself do take vitamins I do realize they are never as good as eating the real food. Some say they are not effective at all and not to even bother with them. Nothing that is synthesized is ever as good as the real deal.


While the "real deal" is preferable, to get all the nutrients you really need would require a lot of calories, and be counter productive to maintaining a healthy weight, unless one spends all his/her time doing menu planning. I take supplements, and have had a grand total of 3 sick days in the last 10 years. I am reasonably sure that taking a good vitamin/mineral supplement has something to do with that.
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 111
Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/9/2009 3:01:09 PM

While the "real deal" is preferable, to get all the nutrients you really need would require a lot of calories..


You have to make sure the food you were eating is very rich in nutrients. Nutrient density is a measure of the amount of nutrients a food contains in comparison to the number of calories. By eating healthy foods, you'll get all the essential nutrients that you need for excellent health, including vitamins, minerals, phytonutrients, essential fatty acids, fiber and more for the least number of calories. Preferable is half if not more of your daily food intake is in the form of raw food.

So my answer is no you would not be over the top with you daily caloric intake. Most people are overweight because they are eating processed junk food with little value.

You are way better off eating the real deal than relying on vitamins.. which may or may not be as effective..

thecatsmeoww
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 112
view profile
History
Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/9/2009 4:17:07 PM

...but for an opening ... I don't intend to LEAD with health issues
Molly ... no one is promoting the idea of "spilling the beans" on all the health issues on the meet-n-greet.

I only get into such detail when I think I'm going to be giving a man my undivided attention. Before that, I don't expect a lot of details from him and don't feel the need to share details either ... although, with me there isn't much to tell.

Gee "R" man ... back to testing for STD's on a regular basis? Sigh. Get those ladies tested before you get your dipstick wet!!!! Besides, I thought I read in a thread (a while back) that you were dating the girl of your dreams and she was quite a bit younger than you and you were keeping up quite well sexually too. I guess nothing is forever ... eh?

Anyways ...
I don't ask for anything that I don't bring to the table as part of my "offer".
Exactly ... that's my idea too. I want to at least start out on some sort of equal grounds with a partner. Once there's a commitment, and something might happen, I know I would not abandon my partner ... that's just not the way I am.

And as "eschec" has mentioned ... I really just have no desire to be with a man who is carrying around a big belly. Some (and it's really evident in their pictures) who write that their weight is "Average" ... really need to write "Average ... with a 50 - 75 lb. gut". That would be more realistic.
 RenaissanceMan1950
Joined: 2/20/2009
Msg: 113
Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/9/2009 4:22:13 PM
! Besides, I thought I read in a thread (a while back) that you were dating the girl of your dreams and she was quite a bit younger than you and you were keeping up quite well sexually too. I guess nothing is forever ... eh?


Whatever you interpreted in that way has to go back to the previous iteration of this sn. I was in a relationship last year, that ended in February. No, nothing is forever, but life goes on. What does that have to do with the topic?



Gee "R" man ... back to testing for STD's on a regular basis? Sigh. Get those ladies tested before you get your dipstick wet!!!!


The likelihood of STDs with middle class, heterosexual, non IV drug using,and non promiscuous adults is very, very minor. Still, when having my annual checkup, I do have them run the tests. Most years I've had only one partner. I'm not paranoid about something that isn't among the top 100 leading causes of death, well below the likelihood of being struck by lightning, but I do err on the side of caution, since I'm having bloodwork done anyway. :)
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 114
Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/9/2009 4:43:40 PM

Vaginal dryness and atrophy is NOT caused by "celibacy"


I forgot to add this!
There is evidence of the changes in hormones and body as a result of being sexually removed or inactive for a stretch of time. So yes this is a factor that can contribute..

thecatsmeoww
 tinkerbellcgy
Joined: 9/17/2005
Msg: 115
view profile
History
Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/9/2009 5:25:50 PM

Molly ... no one is promoting the idea of "spilling the beans" on all the health issues on the meet-n-greet.

I only get into such detail when I think I'm going to be giving a man my undivided attention. Before that, I don't expect a lot of details from him and don't feel the need to share details either ... although, with me there isn't much to tell.

I debated long and hard about revealing my malady in my profile. My first reaction was why bother saying anything because I am not looking for a relationship or marriage but rather friends to expand my social circle and my malady should not stand in the way of sharing a movie, a bite to eat, meet for coffee and so on. That thought came to a skreetching halt in February when a local male contacted me about one of my posts in the fora. He had read my "pre-revelation" profile and was interested in perhaps meeting up with me. Before responding to his e-mail, I read his profile only to discover that he had lost his wife to cancer and a certain amount of bitterness in that regard was evidenced in his profile. I felt a duty to advise him that I was currently experiencing cancer prior to us meeting as opposed to waiting to "surprise" him at the meet with my lovely shiny bald head. He responded by indicating that he had no intention of ever having to deal with anyone again who has cancer and that I could be dead before long. I might add, by viewing his posted picture, this man appeared to be carrying a great deal of excess weight and it did make me ponder whether he might be the one dead before long.

Lesson learned: It is now in my profile for all to read and I leave it to those who read it to decide if they wish to contact me or not. If nothing else, it automatically culls out the ones that I would have no interest in meeting.
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 116
view profile
History
Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/9/2009 5:30:41 PM

There is evidence of the changes in hormones and body as a result of being sexually removed ...
Oh dear, looks like the Mayo Clinic is not yet aware of that information. Maybe it would be easier to convince us if you gave us a link as to where that information came from ... eh?

Meanwhile, from the Mayo Clinic ...
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/vaginal-atrophy/DS00770/DSECTION=causes
Vaginal atrophy is caused by a loss of estrogen. Less circulating estrogen makes your vaginal tissues thinner, drier, less elastic and more fragile.

A drop in estrogen levels and vaginal atrophy may occur:

* After menopause
* During the years leading up to menopause (perimenopause)
* During breast-feeding
* After surgical removal of both ovaries (surgical menopause)
* After pelvic radiation therapy for cancer
* After chemotherapy for cancer
* As a side effect of breast cancer hormonal treatment

Vaginal atrophy due to menopause may begin to bother you during the years leading up to menopause (perimenopause), or it may not become a problem until several years into menopause. Although the condition is common, not all menopausal women develop vaginal atrophy. Regular sexual activity helps you maintain healthy vaginal tissues.
Unfortunately, it does not state that vaginal atrophy (which is vaginal dryness) is due to celibacy. I suppose one could eventually assume it's gonna be like it is for the men ... use it or lose it.

There IS however a problem for men if they don't use it ... the skin on their penis does atrophy and that is one of the causes for penile shrinkage. So let's hope the guys are taking care of business even if they don't have a partner ...
 Molly Maude
Joined: 9/11/2008
Msg: 117
view profile
History
Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/9/2009 5:54:20 PM
Tinkerbell ... you've taken the high ground ... which is admirable ...
 zigzagziggy
Joined: 6/23/2009
Msg: 118
Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/9/2009 5:59:05 PM
I love this subject, because I can tell it all. I am 45, on oxygen, and a big guy, as in heavy.
And I love the people who are looking for dates in our age group...selfish, pityful,pathetic and vainful people who the single thing they lust after most is a perfect body. And, I can now offer this to say......

I am 45, heavy, and on oxygen 99% of the time. My lungs are for the most part destroyed due to exposure to petrolium fumes while working unprotected in my job some years ago. But, when I go on a date with a woman, I really do not look for kickin' legs, or the perfect rack, or if a person goes to the gym 7 days a week to maintain their perfect body. If I do meet such a lady and have the oppertunity to date her, I am just thankful to be going on a date, period. I am retired. I do not work, but I do manage to make quite a living with some to spare.

I am on oxygen 99% of the time. My health requires it. I am big, and heavy. I have long hair and look like a biker. But, I am no couch potato. I play paintball on the weekends. I have a specially made chest rig made up to carry my oxygen tanks when I play. I work around the house.

Now the reason I mention those things is because I want to tell you this....when you look for a special someone, look deeper than the stereotype of what you are led to think people should look like. Because, a person may have health issues, they are still people. And, maybe, you just might find the "right" one!
 cotter
Joined: 10/17/2005
Msg: 119
view profile
History
Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/9/2009 6:38:57 PM
zigzagziggy ... I think that's gallant of you to come in here and admit all kinds of things that you don't mention in your profile. I guess I understand that you don't say anything about the O2 and so on, but why would someone so openly lie about their weight in their profile?

I think I see where it says "Average" on your profile. Why would anyone purposely mislead others about something like that? I think it's important to be honest about things. I'm almost positive that I represent over 99.999999% if the people here on POF when I say that we want honesty when encountering a perspective partner.

If a person is going to lie about such an obvious thing, what would they lie about that is not so obvious? I know I'm well past the age of playing games ... but then I never did do that.

OT ...
If we are going to have a trusting relationship with someone ... certainly it's not asking too much to be honest on the profile. I think that's important and I also think then that it's just as important not to misrepresent ourselves at the meet-n-greet and thereafter.

No wonder so many people are so leery ...
 eschec mat
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 120
Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/9/2009 7:03:43 PM
zigzagziggy you might want to rethink the flypaper in the one photo too. You will find honesty does get you farther as was mentioned. But you will also find people have preferences. It isn't shallow to like what you like. It is like people that like lima beans, I can't stand them. Ok, maybe a bad example, but that is the way it is.

Personally I had, don't drink at all, on my profile when I was dating. I had guys that turned me down on getting to know me, email, whatever, just based on that. I do drink on occasions and yeah, it is what I consider socially, but really from what I have been told, I don't drink because it is so seldom and it is sissy drinks or maybe wine. Being in a relationship, I am more social, so probably have had a drink 4 times this past year versus my normal 2. No biggy. People have preferences, if they like to go to bars, they want someone that drinks.

I am so not perfect and I know it. I can't get all my vitamins through eating because of other health issues... Simple things like milk, I am allergic to. I do have to do supplements. I have tried other food choices and I am just not a good or big eater, so it is easier and hopefully helps me. Of course things like colitis aren't brought up before I would go out with someone. I'm not sure when I told my bf about it. Perhaps when we did an all you can eat Chinese buffet. The MSG's kill me. You really need to get to know the person before you discuss things like that imo, where others you probably do want to be upfront about it.

tinkerbellcgy, breath and women like her are definitely inspirations! I don't think I ever read anything down beat. You guys always write so positive. Gosh I learn so much from these threads, hope some of that rubs off on me.
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 121
Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/10/2009 4:31:59 AM

Unfortunately, it does not state that vaginal atrophy (which is vaginal dryness) is due to celibacy. I suppose one could eventually assume it's gonna be like it is for the men ... use it or lose it.


Well think about use it or lose it.. Also think about is all that is being stimulated when have sexual intercourse. Mayo clinic is listing the most common causes for vaginal dryness. They are not however listing any other contributing factors...

Not only men have to take care of business.. sorry we have not escaped this. lol

thecatsmeoww
 woobytoodsday
Joined: 12/13/2006
Msg: 122
Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/10/2009 10:47:02 AM
Just a note, since we're talking phytoestrogens and soy. . . .


The experience of actual GM-fed experimental animals is scary. When GM soy was fed to female rats, most of their babies died within three weeks—compared to a 10% death rate among the control group fed natural soy.[3] The GM-fed babies were also smaller, and later had problems getting pregnant.[4]

When male rats were fed GM soy, their testicles actually changed color—from the normal pink to dark blue.[5] Mice fed GM soy had altered young sperm.[6] Even the embryos of GM fed parent mice had significant changes in their DNA.[7] Mice fed GM corn in an Austrian government study had fewer babies, which were also smaller than normal.[8]

http://www.chelseagreen.com/content/doctors-warn-avoid-genetically-modified-food/
http://www.seedsofdeception.com/utility/showArticle/?objectID=299

I used to use soy isoflavones regularly. The recent information on this stuff is beyond scary. There is, as far as I can tell, extremely little soy available that is *guaranteed* NOT to be GMO, that it's just easier to avoid it altogether and get the estrogen from other sources. . . .

Be careful out there everybody. . . .
 thecatsmeoww
Joined: 3/7/2009
Msg: 123
Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/10/2009 11:12:12 AM

I used to use soy isoflavones regularly. The recent information on this stuff is beyond scary. There is, as far as I can tell, extremely little soy available that is *guaranteed* NOT to be GMO, that it's just easier to avoid it altogether and get the estrogen from other sources. . . .


I agree the recent information is indeed very scary so for now best to stick twith some of other choices..

What next will appear on the horizon stay tuned!!

I was just reading about gastric bypass surgery which I was never in favor of anyhow. Apparently once having it done patients had double the normal oxalate levels. These patients are at an increased risk of stone formation after their procedures .. So much better to change what you are eating then to have to resort to this. In fact most people regain the weight after going through it because they continue to eat the same way they did before and the surgery is risky.

thecatsmeoww
 peek~a~booo
Joined: 1/3/2007
Msg: 124
Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/11/2009 7:58:17 AM
The one thing i get from this thread is the coward way people pretend caretaking someone who i sick is such a big deal.....only untill you remember the one who was sick and the h3ll they go thru...than the caretaking means ZERO>>>>guess it depends on your ability to focus on whats significant and to WHOM

context is people who caretake others do not resent it if love is on the table..only ones who do not love find RESENTMENT for human time exchanged in bad health...what ever.


chuckles..........walks away knowing wtf i am made off...drop kicks coward preferance over the moon....that is where you belong cuz it is not even adult never mind human.
 eschec mat
Joined: 3/3/2009
Msg: 125
Health issues and finding a partner at our age
Posted: 8/11/2009 8:17:20 AM
^^^^^It isn't care taking people we already know or are involved with. It is getting involved with someone you don't know. People are going to go out with others that are honest about who they are, or honest about their medical issues if it involves a date they go on. If you go out with someone that didn't bother to tell you they are on oxygen 24/7 and you are active and play tennis, I don't see that match working. Perhaps you could get a date out of not telling the other person about the oxygen, but is that being honest?

We all have preferences about the people we want to date and be with. The same as we all enjoy certain activities and not others. That is reality.
Show ALL Forums  > Over 45  > Health issues and finding a partner at our age