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 Commonsens
Joined: 4/6/2009
Msg: 14
Does your ex still calls you?Page 2 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
Ex?! nope, all bridges are cut and burned the moment is it over, the page turned and the book closed forever.
 DeepLuv09
Joined: 7/24/2009
Msg: 15
Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 7:30:44 PM

Anyways, when she snapped, she was telling me that I was an ***hole and my mom was a slut and my dad was a jerk


You know, all that "I am not over her" yadi yada can be tolerated...but the above....THE END. THAT IS WHERE SHE CEASES TO EXIST I.E> SHE NEVER EVER EVER EXISTED.

If you even THINK of this girl after the above -boy please. Don't.
 varinia
Joined: 1/1/2009
Msg: 16
Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 9:15:44 PM
It seems to me that she calls you when she's insecure. Knowing that she still has power over you gives her a false sense of security. Her s.o. is at the club and she feels left alone/abandoned. So, what's the best way to feel that she's desirable? Call someone that still desires her.

She's playing games. She's not respecting you and is using you for her own purpose, without thoughts for your feelings.
 boinkboinkboink
Joined: 3/20/2009
Msg: 17
Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 9:15:48 PM
"Have you ever had an ex who cheated on you, broke up with you, still calls you from time to time, and maintains communication? On top of that, they are getting married with that guy. "

Women like that don't stay married for long.

OP, simple fact: Some women are evil b*tches. Recognise this fact. Recognise that most women aren't like this. So, distance yourself from her, give yourself some time, and then find yourself a REAL woman to love.
 Boots168
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 18
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Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/9/2009 9:38:03 PM
Isn't kind of weird considering that they're getting married and still calling you?

No. She is the same ruthless and shameless control freak who once broke your heart by cheating on you and breaking up with you. Now she is doing similar things to her soon-to-be husband (or probably soon-to-be-ex?), what makes the same old trick so weird to you now?

It shows some signs that they're still interested in you?

Definitely. You are the love of her life knowing that you will always be there as her last resort. Manipulation is her game and cheater is her name. Remember this just in case you've been "upgraded" to be the other guy someday, ok?
 majyk1
Joined: 4/26/2009
Msg: 19
Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 1:56:34 AM
If your answering her calls or text messages, sounds to me like your the BIOTCH!


Havent you figured out how to change your phone number??

Grow some!
 FluffyBrain
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 20
Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 2:02:42 AM
charlie, in some cases, they get the hots for each other again and in other cases, they drift apart, and, in yet other cases, they remain friends. my last ex and i talk daily...his gf's don't get it (they will eventually as they start to feel more secure about their places in my ex's life)...but we do...we have no romantic feelings for one another at this point and we've become more like siblings. why throw a long-term friend out simply because you were married at one point? of course, the caveat is: that only works if there are no lingering romantic feelings.
 cookie22222
Joined: 8/4/2007
Msg: 21
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Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 5:49:45 AM
OP - I've posted time and again that I have and do remain friends with exes - SOMETIMES. When they have done something to you, something beyond forgiveness - that is off the table.

She's on a control trip - it's an ego boost. Don't pick up the phone and give her any more satisfaction.
 jarbarian2
Joined: 2/13/2007
Msg: 22
Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 9:44:52 AM
Charlie,

Here is some advice for you because I have experienced this a couple times.

When you are dumped by someone, if they try to maintain contact with you, it's for the following reasons (all selfish ones, mind you)...

1. They want to relieve some of their guilt. If you're both friends, she doesn't have to feel bad.
2. When you respond to her contact attempts, you VALIDATE her and boost her self-esteem (at the expense of yours).
3. She wants to know that you still want her (even though she doesn't want you).
4. You provide some emotional need that her current B/F does not. She feeds off you to get all of her needs met (while yours are not).
5. She may want to keep you on the back burner if her current relationship fails, but only temporarily, until she finds someone else.

Do you see the pattern here? This is a WIN/LOSE situation. In all cases, she wins, YOU LOSE. This is not healthy for you. The best thing to do with an ex like this is to maintain NO CONTACT. That means the following:

1. Delete her from all social web sites (and block her).
2. Change her number in your cell from her name to "DO NOT ANSWER" and don't take her calls. Immediately delete (do not read) her text messages.
3. Block her email.
4. Take all the stuff you have to remind you of her and box it up and put it away where you can't get to it easily.

Your self-esteem is going to suffer as long as you stay in contact. And if you do stay in contact you will not heal. You need to break away from her completely. You need to focus on yourself. SPOIL yourself. Do things you haven't done in years. Make new friends, GO OUT. Get out of the house and have some fun.

Eventually you'll meet someone new, but not as long as you stay continue to stay in contact with your ex.

Cheers
 Sherlock101
Joined: 1/4/2007
Msg: 23
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Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 9:53:48 AM
You gave her something that she misses and she is just selfishly leaning on you when she feels the need. This is a women who has no conscious and will continue this behavior as long as there is someone that will indulge her.
 barbee1970
Joined: 12/29/2008
Msg: 24
Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 9:55:10 AM
Mine don't cause they are ex b/f s for a reason.

Ok my late ex husband, there was alot of contact, cause with a child involved we wanted to be civil. He's no longer with us though.
 ItsMargo
Joined: 4/24/2007
Msg: 25
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Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 10:06:19 AM
One of my exes calls me from time to time apparently trying to rekindle a friendship. The first time it happened my very wise teen said "Well, guess their current relationship tanked and somebody is feeling just a wee bit insecure right now"

OP, what your ex is looking for has no benefit to you; it's an ego stroke for her at best. Take the advice of cutting off all communication.
 jmim
Joined: 3/19/2007
Msg: 26
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Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 12:17:38 PM
She thinks you are fun, but for some reason doesn't want to f*ck you.
You know how women have gay (male homosexual) friend?
You are basically that to her.

Sounds harsh. But thats how I take it when this happens to me.
 jlc1210
Joined: 4/9/2009
Msg: 27
Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 12:20:23 PM
I have an ex-husband who had called me from time to time over the years (we've been divorced for over 20 years). He was suddenly calling me almost daily a few months back. I thought it was a little odd that he was suddenly calling so often until he made a vulgar remark to me during the last phone call. I blew it off and simply stopped answering the phone after that. While he wasn't "getting married" he is living with someone. I can only assume he thought we were going to have a fling. He thought wrong. Sounds like this gal is attempting the same thing with you.
 forum101
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 28
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Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 1:00:49 PM
Honestly OP, this calling and using you as backup could go on for years. Stop it now. Dont answer her. She deserves nothing from you.
I had an ex call me off an on for 2.5 years, trying to hook back up. These crazies can go on forever, looking for their "emotional" fix. She's told you there isnt a chance of you guys hooking up again, tell her she is sick and to leave you alone. Does the fiance know she is calling you? Bet that would be a bit of useful information for him. He would make her quit calling you.
 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 29
Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/12/2009 1:08:52 PM
Why don't you put a stop to this. Call her fiance and ask him to tell her to stop contacting you. Tell him 'man to man' that you feel that her actions are disrespectful to him, and honor requires you to let him know that the woman he is getting ready to walk down the aisle with and share his life, home and money with is attempting to cheat on him before the ring is even on her finger. Tell him she did the same to you, and you don't want see him go though the same thing.

Reassure him that you want nothing to do with her, that you are not doing the calling. Just tell him that you are giving him a 'heads-up' as a man.

Be prepared for an angry phone call or two from her. But I'd personally just laugh them off. She gets what she deserves. She is a dishonest, cheating tramp, and no man should be saddled with her.
Beth
 ileft
Joined: 4/25/2008
Msg: 31
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Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/13/2009 4:51:31 AM
My ex still calls me, usually to moan about his life or whatever he always seems shot down when i don't wanna hear it but at the end of the day he's an ex for a reason!
 Chuck65201
Joined: 11/19/2007
Msg: 33
Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/15/2009 5:07:33 PM
Ya they call occasionally when they want something or email when they are depressed and such but what the hell that is why they originally fell in love with me because I would listen to their crying and give them the most sound advise I could at the time.

Yes they are an EX for a reason and will stay as such but if they are that down to be calling or emailing it does not hurt to at least listen a minute or two.
 Elizabeth023
Joined: 2/2/2008
Msg: 35
Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/15/2009 6:11:11 PM
My ex didn't call me much when we were together, he was cold when he wanted to be, he was interested in other females I believe, he was a girl chaser for sure...

So I would definitely say I don't hear from him..
 lilsmittenkitten
Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 36
Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/15/2009 6:21:22 PM
You seem like your a really nice guy! However, your going to have to learn the hard way to cut this one off. No matter what other people tell you; you won't learn until, you feel enough is enough!

When you state that your worried about her and so fourth...
Your enabling her behavior, and this is a negative behavior. She knows how deeply you still care and is using it against you. This is a person you want to stay away from.
We all learn the hard way; most of us lol.

Believe me hunny, leave this one alone.

I had an ex- like her. Actually, just tried calling my cell phone the other day! This is a guy who I dated on and off for along time. It was hard to stay away from him when he kept coming back into my life. He left me hanging at a very vulnerable time in my life. That is when I learned what he was really about. It took a "terrible moment" in my life to make me stop and think! Is this healthy? Does he really love me? If he did, how could he just abandon me like that? So, fourth...

He never cared about me or how he treated me. He only cared about himself and his needs: a true narcissist. You will meet people in your life that aren't good for you. She is one of them. I don't care to talk badly about people, but I believe actions speak louder, than words!

For the person to do this much harm to you. She doesn't love you and probably doesn't know how to love anyone else, except herself!

She is calling you, because she knows she can. She is stringing you along. There are plenty of men and women who do this and it is wrong. They don't care how they treat other people. These are bad people! Don't get involved with this.

My ex called me to tell me he is going to be a father and that he is engaged. I didn't understand why he called me to tell me this. It is known of my business and we hadn't talked in a few years. I told him that is wonderful and he told me that I could call him whenever, that he would like to see me again. Well, I never called him. A few months later he is a father, hasn't gotten married. However, he is calling me complaining about his fiance! I'm like WTF! Anyway, I listen and try to be polite.
He tells me that they broke up. That he still loves me, blah blah... He keeps talking all this bs. I'm thinking what is wrong with this guy, he has a baby with this girl. He needs to man-up, stop talking to me and focus on them. He is still a child in many ways. Anyway, he tells me he will call me again, because he wants to pay for me to come out there. I'm like awww, I see and he tells me to call him. Well, I never called him. I think sometime passes and he gets married. He IM's me out of the blue to tell me this, I said, "Wonderful, I'm very happy for you! Congrads on your little girl!". We leave it at that. Like he is expecting me to be bummed or rub it in my face. That isn't how I took it at all. I'm glad when people are happy, even ones who have burned me in the past. Good for them, however I'm not interested in keeping in touch with this person. I make no effort to contact him and I'm polite when he IM's me.

About 6 months later he IM's me again, tells me how miserable he is... blah blah.. That he wants to call me, but can't do it now because he his wife is there. I'm like what is wrong with you. I don't want to talk to you, I'm not interested in you and I would never talk to a married man. I could never be friends with this person and I don't want to be. I'm way to nice sometimes, and this is what happened, because I didn't speak up for myself. Hunny, you don't want this person interrupting your life later on. I certainly don't. I got rid of AOL and don't pic up his calls, when he calls me.

I don't want anything to do with him. I wish him the best of luck. The best thing for me is to let this one go. He will be fine on his own and never needed me in the past. He just used me. That was one hell of a lesson, that took me awhile to learn.

I wish you the best of luck with yours. God bless!
 curlygrl
Joined: 11/8/2006
Msg: 37
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Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/15/2009 6:25:22 PM
Ah man Charlie - your still talking to this narcissistic sociopath
and her sociopathic family -

I give up. You cant heal like this.

Why do you feel so obligated to her and her well being? Love?

Listen- she is sick. She has issues. You are getting sucked in by her.
You are not seeing it.

NO CONTACT - she is holding you back from something really good
for you - from healing. From everything - Charlie- she is going
to meet someone AGAIN and leave you.
She is SERIAL. This is what she does. She is searching for a love in her
mind she cannot find - NOT EVEN WITH YOU.

This is a form of CONTROLING you. Staying in touch - making sure if
nothing else better is happening for her you are there.

She is an immature whore. Dont you get it - YOU are suffering because
of her- she could give a shit. She just needs someone to vent too - you
have turned into her GIRLFRIEND.

She is guilting you and blaming you for the demiss of your relationship - she
cant even take the blame for cheating on you- ITS ON HER - ITS HER ACTIONS.
She cheated because she WANTED too.

Charlie - you are staring into a black hole with her. YOU need to cut CONTACT.

I know its killing you - and this is the last time I am posting here to you because
just short of ME flying out there to kick your a ss - you need to see this on
your own.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 38
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Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/15/2009 9:22:43 PM
If my ex were ever to contact me, I would be cordial, if terse. I have no ill feelings toward her and genuinely wish her the best in life, but I have no desire to maintain any sort of friendship, either. She broke my heart but good, and the only way to move on is to remove her completely from my life.

Still, if there was something she actually needed to communicate to me, I wouldn't have a problem with her doing that. In fact, I was the one who had to contact her after the break-up because I ealized I had forgotten my camera's memory card in her laptop the last time we were together. She mailed it back with a very nice note.
 lilsmittenkitten
Joined: 3/24/2008
Msg: 39
Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/17/2009 7:12:05 PM
Hey MelD,

Your experience is quite familiar to mine and some of my friends (men & women)!!

I never took the leap of getting engaged/married with this ex. I always kept this one at a distance to my heart strings, after he walked out on me. (Left me at one of the most important times of my life, when I needed him to be there for me). He was a weak man and still is to this day. I hope one day he will grow up and become the man that we all think he can be.

I plan to keep my distance and never embark down that dark road again ;).

One day I would like to hope and believe I will meet the man who will stand by my side through thick/thin. To this day I only have had one man in my life that hasn't given up on me, kept his word, and left me hanging: my father!

I don't mind being independent, single and handling my life. It would be nice to meet that right person to connect with. Until, that day I will enjoy the bumpy road along the way!!

Take care and good luck!
 stin4thewin
Joined: 7/21/2009
Msg: 41
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Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/22/2009 5:23:14 PM
I had your same situation a couple months back.

Call your service provider, and have them block her number(s). If you're on Verizon, they will do up to 5 numbers for free.

Trust me, it makes things work for you a helluva lot easier and less stressful. Out of sight, out of mind.
 Chuck65201
Joined: 11/19/2007
Msg: 42
Does your ex still calls you?
Posted: 8/23/2009 2:46:52 PM
ceoil you ate totally correct on that note.
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