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 daynadaze
Joined: 2/11/2008
Msg: 5
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Bachelor parties...Do you have a problem with them.Page 2 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Someone who needs to go out and get blotto and do things they can't do if in a marriage, should not get married. I do not get the idea of one last fling with hookers/strippers and booze, if you need that then why in the world are you getting married? If you think you won't ever do it again, like binge eating just before your next (failed) diet, think again, you are that type of person or you aren't, the marriage certificate is not going to make you stop hooking up while drunk. No, I would not marry a man who had a bachelor party nor would I have one myself. I think it's a huge red blinking sign of someone not ready to commit and be exclusive, much less be sober. And people who do this the night before their wedding, showing up at the wedding hungover and stinking of hired sex, beyond stupid.

I had to reply to this:


Perhaps it's the perfect oppourtunity to really test that trust.


One, I don't test trust, it's there or it's not, but also I don't do drunken stripper parties so there's no reason why I'd want to marry someone who does, that would be such a conflict of mutual interest in what our goal of married met to us. But it's really also not about do I trust a man enough not to think he'll screw the hooker (and please, so many times they do, let's not be naive) it's that I don't want to be with a man who goes to drunken parties with hookers. A fishing trip, etc., with just the buddies and no sexual last times is not the same thing as the idea of a bachelor party. I can't imagine thinking badly of the guys going camping or fishing, before or after the wedding, that's hardly a last time fling.
 Sabrosura
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 7
Bachelor parties...Do you have a problem with them.
Posted: 8/10/2009 11:35:58 AM
No problem with me AS LONG as he is NOT having sex with a stripper/other woman.
 packagedealx3
Joined: 2/4/2006
Msg: 17
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Bachelor parties...Do you have a problem with them.
Posted: 8/10/2009 12:22:23 PM

The overwhelming majority of bachelor parties I have been to have had NO strippers at all.

I rememer seeing recently something on television that the trend is going totally different doing a luxury box at a pro ball game or other stuff you might not spring for normally, a big guy's thing something that woudn't be a bad thing for men to keep doing during the marriage, guy's weekend just like she should do a girl thing.

The whole thing boils down to trust and if you can't trust the other person to behave properly all the time regardless of the venue, you shouldn't be with them.
Bachelor parties...Do you have a problem with them.
Posted: 8/10/2009 2:39:03 PM

Bachelor parties...Do you have a problem with them.


Nope. If I am marrying him, I trust him. If he wants to go and make a fool of himself and have fun, he is a big boy. I know he will be coming home to me and staying with me. I, long term, am much better for him than a stripper anyway and he knows that.

As well, if I am marrying him, he has no problem with my doing the same.

PO:)
 SueCat51
Joined: 8/11/2007
Msg: 28
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Bachelor parties...Do you have a problem with them.
Posted: 8/10/2009 4:26:02 PM
The party is a farce, period, end of story. It's how you behave at the party that may be at issue. Too much alcohol or drugs will certainly get one into trouble. Remember Brides & Grooms, at your parties, YOU are in control of your actions!
 WalkingInLondon
Joined: 2/21/2005
Msg: 33
Bachelor parties...Do you have a problem with them.
Posted: 8/10/2009 9:50:32 PM
Bachelor/Bachelorette parties are a lot of fun, and I've seenthem go from mild to wild. It all depends on the personality of the guest of honor. My ex practically had to be poured into the limo to go home, I don't think he even remembered SEEING a stripper, and was apparently to sloshed to touch her.
I've got a lot of guys as friends, and have been asked to attend several bachelor parties. I have laughed my butt off at how it's always the shyest guys that the stripper seems to target for a lap dance, the shades of red the guys turn have made me laugh until I almost wet myself. The dancers/strippers usually made their money, thanked us, we thanked them, then they left. There was no sex involved, but then, I don't have friends that are nasty.

The bachelorette parties that have been thrown for me, and that I have attended have been fun, and have been more about being silly and a little naughty and entertaining one another than having sex!
The fact is, you have to trust your partner when you're getting married, and if you don't trust them enough to allow them to have one party without your atendance, then you certainly don't need to be getting married.
Beth
 chameleonf
Joined: 12/22/2008
Msg: 43
Bachelor parties...Do you have a problem with them.
Posted: 8/11/2009 8:32:53 AM
I wouldn't have a problem with it because I'd know my guy and the type of friends he has in the first place. I attended a co-ed bachelor party in the '70's and we went to a strip club. It was hilarious. More fun was had with the groom's brother who was targeted by one comedian stripper because he was so shy but he also had a good sense of humour. The stripper had to have weighed about 300 lbs., wore a bikini and a boa and danced to "Itsy Bitsy Yellow Polka Dot Bikini".

Some people have a problem with strippers and strip clubs period, whether it's for a party or not. Moral baramoters are different for different people. I would hope that people would discuss this sort of thing before it ever got to the stage of happening and if it was a real issue for either gender that either person would understand the other's tolerance level and respect that. If it became a real issue that was fought over, the people have no business getting married in the first place. The friends also have to be respectful as well and not just throw the guy into a situation which would go beyond his or his bride's to be comfort zone and vice versa for a woman and her friends. For me it wouldn't be a big issue either way - fun can be had in any number of ways and it's not the end of the world if a stipper isn't involved if it goes against one of the party's sensibilites, whatever their reasoning behind it is.
 JustBreathe1960
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 49
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Bachelor parties...Do you have a problem with them.
Posted: 8/11/2009 6:04:33 PM
Its all about TRUST...do you or don't you? No trust...no wedding. It goes both ways too. I would not care to have or partake in the "normal" or "abnormal" bachelor party.
A little to adolescent for me.

Not to mention I for one think strippers are a huge waste of money. IMHO To each his or her own though. In the end I don't have to answer for other peoples actions.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 51
Bachelor parties...Do you have a problem with them.
Posted: 8/24/2009 11:46:06 AM
In my opinion, it's either jealousy, or fear that he'll actually cross the line with a stripper. If it's the latter, why in the hell are you getting married? I think it's usually the first... and jealousy for a single-time event isn't a bad thing. Maybe the movie The Hangover got to her. :)
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