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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Should I go out with a girl 16 years younger?      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 _central_scrutinizer_
Joined: 8/31/2009
Msg: 76
Should I go out with a girl 16 years younger?Page 4 of 6    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6)

She is 23, I am 39


Sure, if that's what you both want. Enjoy the ride while it lasts. However, beware. Young girls are very fickle. Don't count on any long term relationship.
 ProdigalSon81
Joined: 1/18/2009
Msg: 77
Should I go out with a girl 16 years younger?
Posted: 9/5/2009 10:39:53 AM
If you wish to do it and feel comfortable with it, go right ahead. You don't really need our approval to do so.
 Serenity Blessings
Joined: 6/19/2009
Msg: 78
Should I go out with a girl 16 years younger?
Posted: 9/5/2009 10:50:38 AM
I agree with ProdigalSon81. That was my first reaction as well! We don't know you or the girl so we don't know what other qualities bind the two of you! Age is not enough information. Are you a mature 39 year old? Is she a doctor, astronaut, advanced professional at the age of 23?
I don't think anyone can give advise just knowing the ages of the people.

And before you start typing "what about statutory rape?" obviously by people I mean the ones old enough to pay rent/mortgage and complain about taxes!

You also asked a question about age gap: it depends on the life expectancy of the relationship. If both people are out to have fun and enjoy life-then go for it! But if there are completely different personalities (home body vs. adventurous) or one person wants children- then someone needs to have a "how far you plan on going with this" conversation!
 roguevampire
Joined: 5/8/2009
Msg: 79
Should I go out with a girl 16 years younger?
Posted: 9/5/2009 12:24:42 PM
why wait till a woman has a ton of experience with me. She will only be bitter and angry. Its much better to get them young. when they are wide eyed and innocent. and they have less built up anger.
 luv_forums
Joined: 10/31/2008
Msg: 80
Should I go out with a girl 16 years younger?
Posted: 9/5/2009 9:57:39 PM
I'm in a similar situation, except I'm the younger woman in this situation lol. My situation has a 15 yr age gap. He's not too old to be my own dad, but he's not exactly a spring chicken if you know what I mean... oh the dilemmas of dating! I think I'm better off staying single if dating requires so much hassle...lmao
 LBA26
Joined: 9/2/2009
Msg: 81
Should I go out with a girl 16 years younger?
Posted: 9/5/2009 10:05:05 PM
go for it gramps, there are 70 yr olds marrying youngsters, no shame in dating one
 OnDMove
Joined: 4/10/2009
Msg: 82
Should I go out with a girl 16 years younger?
Posted: 9/6/2009 5:42:10 AM
Been there...done that. Was in a relationship with a younger woman and we lived together for 3 years. When we met, she was 27 and I was 45.

I know your situation is probably different but this was my experience.

It was like a dream come true in the beginning. I believe she really did love me but she decided that she wanted to live a lifestyle that I couldn't accept. She changed. She didn't grow up, she wanted to be a teenager again and that killed it for me. She wanted someone to be responsible so she didn't have to be. Now she has a serious addiction and she's lost her kids!

It may sound like a really good idea at first but I'm here to tell you that it just isn't reality. In your situation, you're both young enough to still find compatibility but as time moves your age will become a factor. A man can get really deep in a relationship like that, so when it comes time for her to decide that she wants something different, it really hurts to watch those taillights heading off down the road!

But since I’m the world’s biggest glutton for punishment; would I do it again? Heck yah! The sex was AWSOME!
 Kamal_416
Joined: 8/6/2009
Msg: 83
Should I go out with a girl 16 years younger?
Posted: 9/6/2009 5:57:54 AM
op,

if i knew your age and saw you at the club...i would been like...."are you looking for your daughter...she went that way with a drunk dude".
 Gaddflye
Joined: 9/10/2008
Msg: 84
Should I go out with a girl 16 years younger?
Posted: 9/6/2009 3:43:51 PM
OP, if you end up with her for life the older you get the less big a deal 16 years becomes. At my present age of 66 a sixteen year age difference feels very comfortable and natural to me. In fact it is at the upper age range of women I find attractive these days. I have gone much more, well over 30 years, but we knew we were just having fun together for a while as fwb's. Although I have been trying to get interested in dating women closer to my age I am so rarely sexually drawn to them I am about to give that up and return to the 15 - 25 younger year range which seems to work the best for me for ltr's.
 Faxe14
Joined: 2/9/2014
Msg: 85
Should I go out with a girl 16 years younger?
Posted: 2/10/2015 11:40:37 PM
Im in love with a girl 16 years younger than me. I believe she loved me too. I did not pursue it because of the age difference. If she ever comes free, I will be all over her!
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 86
Should I go out with a girl 16 years younger?
Posted: 2/11/2015 1:48:21 AM

She is 23, I am 39. I told her that I was too old for her, what do you think? ... should I leave it at that or give her a chance? She seems like a really nice girl, we have great conversation and she lives close to me.

Why not? She was clearly an Adult. The only issue would be aiming for an LTR and settling in with that age-gap difference, being at different points in one's lives, and 5 years later, would she at 28 want to be with someone who's 44? But as far as crossing platonic lines and just taking a casual approach -- absolutely nothing wrong with that.
 Ainen
Joined: 6/27/2013
Msg: 87
Should I go out with a girl 16 years younger?
Posted: 2/11/2015 6:40:11 AM

She is 23, I am 39. I told her that I was too old for her, what do you think?


Excellent line. She might want you more. She might say age is just a number or that she can behave maturely for her age. I wouldn't use that as a line because it's playing games; would only say that at face value if I knew I wasn't interested in her.

I realize the above was from 2009, but someone in a similar situation bumped the thread. To the new guy, go for it!

Don't expect it to last forever. Enjoy the interaction while it lasts.

Speaking to her on the phone since they met indicates she wasn't just drunk or on Ecstasy or whatever substances people use in clubs these days.
 bamagrl68
Joined: 11/14/2010
Msg: 88
Should I go out with a girl 16 years younger?
Posted: 2/11/2015 9:43:57 PM
TheReason- I could see maturity being a problem. You have WAY more life experience.
If you were 50 and she was 34, you would still be at different stages in life, but she would at least have had more life experience.
My suggestion, TAKE your time and proceed with caution.
It would help if I knew what you were looking for, do you want a serious relationship or are you just casually dating?
At some point if you keep seeing her, you are going to have to make sure you are both on the same page.
Keep us posted :)
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 89
Should I go out with a girl 16 years younger?
Posted: 2/12/2015 12:01:04 PM

TheReason- I could see maturity being a problem. You have WAY more life experience.

It could be a problem -- but not necessarily on the just-dating front. It's not that he was 39 and she was 23, but that she was 23. He could be 29 and it'd be the same situation for just-dating. :)

If you were 50 and she was 34, you would still be at different stages in life, but she would at least have had more life experience.

I believe it depends on the person, where they grew up from a kid into the young adult years, but IMO, once someone is a bit over 25 -- the chances are good that it's just going to be a stage-of-life issue. One doesn't have to hit mid-30s. We like to think it's more than that if someone's in their (flipping my hair) ... 20's. But there's generally a much bigger difference between 22 vs 27, VS 27 vs 37, even though the latter is twice the age difference. IMO, once someone is over that hump of 25, it's pretty much a stage-of-life issue if they're a decent person. But for just-dating? Heck, even the 23 to 39 -- not an issue of the 23 year old at least has their sh!t together, which is more often than us in our 30s (and above) would like to believe. :)
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 90
Should I go out with a girl 16 years younger?
Posted: 2/12/2015 4:04:20 PM
David Duchovny would hit that, has anyone seen that show Californication? What a pile of shit, and I watched the show at length - at length. A series of monotonous dialog as only David Duchovny could deliver, and he sucks at moving so if he has to punch someone or whatever - it just looks incompetent. Its like god damn, he moves like pond water, physically he's just as slow as his voice. He has to my amazement effectively half assed his way through Hollywood.
 TrustInKarma
Joined: 12/26/2014
Msg: 91
Should I go out with a girl 16 years younger?
Posted: 2/13/2015 9:15:13 AM
Why not? I've been going out on a few dates with a guy who is 21 years younger than I. Don't expect him to marry me, but he is fun and sweet, and we get along great, so why not. I've also been talking to someone who is 12 years younger and he claims he wants a relationship with me. The last guys I've been in relationships with that were significant were 19 and 10 years younger. It's not that unusual really, and society seems to have much less of a problem if it's the guy that is much older.
 RachRenee21
Joined: 11/9/2014
Msg: 92
Should I go out with a girl 16 years younger?
Posted: 2/13/2015 9:43:36 PM
Ooooh. I need to meet someone 15*plus* years older.
 CTRLvector
Joined: 9/21/2014
Msg: 93
Should I go out with a girl 16 years younger?
Posted: 2/13/2015 9:46:52 PM
Older dudes tend to be less athletic, unless they maintain fitness level. Ill be god damned if I let myself slip through my 30s into my 40s with anything resembling a gut
 throttle_junkie
Joined: 7/13/2013
Msg: 94
Should I go out with a girl 16 years younger?
Posted: 2/14/2015 9:03:36 PM
IMO, no.

I try to stay within 4 years of my age give or take a couple on either side because there's so much you have in common with someone close to your own age. Music, theater, even popular movies come and go in 4 or 5 years, so I figure you have a head start with a bit more of a common background while you make your own history together.
 tgif111
Joined: 10/24/2014
Msg: 95
Should I go out with a girl 16 years younger?
Posted: 2/15/2015 1:44:02 PM
of course you should go out with her.

why in God's name would you have to think twice about it.

the worst that could happen would be that you two are not a match.
 PirateJohn09
Joined: 1/7/2009
Msg: 96
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Should I go out with a girl 16 years younger?
Posted: 2/15/2015 6:35:52 PM

Older dudes tend to be less athletic, unless they maintain fitness level.

Isn't that true of everyone? By definition?
 norwegianguy123
Joined: 10/27/2014
Msg: 97
Should I go out with a girl 16 years younger?
Posted: 2/15/2015 10:19:49 PM

Isn't that true of everyone? By definition?

I think it was a comparative statement: Guys @42 tend to be less athletic than guys @32, unless the 42 year old maintains his fitness level throughout (as most people don't when they go from teens-20s-30s-40s-etc).
 dinno76
Joined: 9/29/2014
Msg: 98
Should I go out with a girl 16 years younger?
Posted: 6/12/2015 2:58:22 PM
There is nothing wrong with older men dating younger ladies.
 InnerGorilla
Joined: 4/1/2014
Msg: 99
Should I go out with a girl 16 years younger?
Posted: 6/12/2015 3:01:24 PM
Sure,

But try to understand what she is into. Does she has daddy issues? Is she looking for an older provider? My advice is with things that apart, let her do the chasing.
 dinno76
Joined: 9/29/2014
Msg: 100
Should I go out with a girl 16 years younger?
Posted: 6/12/2015 3:02:58 PM
If you two like each other then go out with her. A lot of older men date younger ladies.
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