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Show ALL Forums  > Dating Experiences  > Is she too young for me?      Home login  
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 dbguy79
Joined: 5/7/2009
Msg: 26
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Is she too young for me?Page 2 of 9    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9)
I think 22 is too young and I'm 29.
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 27
Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/14/2009 7:37:40 PM
Without fail, every person who has said she is too young...

Is an older woman.

 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 28
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Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/14/2009 8:58:18 PM
I am wondering why the Opie hasn't come back to give us some insight/update/comment on his thread..I find it annoying when one posts a question to the forum fishies and then never returns..

Now, I have a few comments. First off, 8soldierfalcon8. Darlin', what's the deal? This isn't the first thread I've seen you in openly insulting/bashing older women. Why the hatred for the older ladies darlin'? Did you have an unpleasant experience with one, or do older women just turn you off that much? I do have a question about something you said in particular:


The really messed up thing about that is that the older man dating a younger woman thing can lead to marriage. It's about a committed relationship.



Cougars just get sex.


Do you have the stats to back up this claim you make? Seriously..younger women and older men lead to commitment and marriage, whereas the most an older woman ((read: cougar )) can hope for is sex, but only for a little while..of course, I added the last part. Interesting theory..I'm sure no young women use older men for sex, cause sex with a 22-year-old inexperienced guy is soooo freakin' awesome (for argument's sake, I chose this age, nothing else). Believe it or not, I was not always a dried up old cougar, and when I was in my twenties dated exclusively older men. When I think back now, well, being pursued by 24 year olds when I was 16 is definitely creepy..but, I was terribly flattered at the time.

~shrugs~

With age comes wisdom, and knowledge, and experience, good and bad. But, there is definitely something about the fresh-faced optimism of youth, the untouched purity, the innocence and excitement they radiate..come back and tell us what you're up to Opie, inquiring minds want to know.

 winteragain
Joined: 3/26/2009
Msg: 29
Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/14/2009 9:10:40 PM
sure, go for it. make sure to cut your client some breaks because the gift of a daughter is pretty much priceless
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 30
Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/15/2009 1:15:53 AM
or do older women just turn you off that much?

This one.


If she were beautiful, confident, and intelligent, she wouldn't date a man like her dad...

For this reason. - And interestingly enough, if this were true, it should be true if the genders were reversed. But how often do you see men flaming older women who want to date younger men? Almost never, right?

Older men = live and let live.
Older women = "If you don't date my demographic, you are a pig, something is wrong with you, and no young girls could ever legitimately like an older guy - it must be your money or something."


The thing that is so silly about this, is that so many older women have completely forgotten their younger days when they wanted to date the much older men. These same women may have even dated an older man when they were younger....
But somehow, suddenly the world changes in their eyes once they hit 40.

::eye roll::


Do you have the stats to back up this claim you make? Seriously..younger women and older men lead to commitment and marriage, whereas the most an older woman ((read: cougar )) can hope for is sex, but only for a little while..of course, I added the last part. Interesting theory..I'm sure no young women use older men for sex, cause sex with a 22-year-old inexperienced guy is soooo freakin' awesome (for argument's sake, I chose this age, nothing else). Believe it or not, I was not always a dried up old cougar, and when I was in my twenties dated exclusively older men.


Just what I've seen on the forums, what people tell me, and what I've seen in my personal experiences. I have personally met many happy couples 20, even 30 years apart ....where the guy is older.

How many couples in committed relationships do you know where that stat is reversed?

A 50 year old woman and 30 year old guy, for instance?

-0-?

Thought so.


With age comes wisdom, and knowledge, and experience, good and bad.

And wrinkles... and saggy.. bits.... and a nasty disposition towards men and dating in general.

The only older woman I will ever be with is one I grow old with and love. If I were a single 50 year old, I'd be dating 30 year olds too. I've been attracted to girls in their mid 20s since I was 8 year old. My tastes have not changed.

A lot of older men I've met have a child-like glee to them. They never grow up.

Women are the exact opposite. Where older men often seem to act younger, and get lighter in their disposition, -many- (not all) older women seem bitter and jaded.

Especially on POF.

So.... I hope that helps answer your questions.

I don't hate older women, I just understand why older men prefer not to date them based on the interactions I've had with single older women, and the things I've seen posted on POF.
 jojoaus
Joined: 10/28/2007
Msg: 31
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Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/15/2009 5:43:07 AM
To the poster in message 64.. I have never yet agreed with any post you have made and at age 27 you are in no way qualified to even dip your toe in the water of older guy/younger woman relationships. Unless you like underage yourself? In case you think I am pissed because I have an older/younger realtionship, think again. I am 45 (yeahhhhhhhh old... lmfaoooo) and my man is 48. In my humble opinion... you are a smartazz. NOT a compliment.

PS.. yeah Im so wrong to suggest you like underage but farrrrrrk... you are so damn opinionated and sure of yourself. Typical of your age group. Tho my 18 year old would be far more logical in her response to the q...
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 32
Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/15/2009 7:44:17 AM
To the poster in message 64.. I have never yet agreed with any post you have made and at age 27 you are in no way qualified to even dip your toe in the water of older guy/younger woman relationships. Unless you like underage yourself? In case you think I am pissed because I have an older/younger realtionship, think again. I am 45 (yeahhhhhhhh old... lmfaoooo) and my man is 48. In my humble opinion... you are a smartazz. NOT a compliment.


That would be me.

So now apparantly, due to my opinions, I am accused to being a molestor.

Lovely

Your man is still older. What does this have to do with anything? Additionally, last I checked, to be a smartazz, one generally needs a few cells between the ears. To be a dumbazz....actually, never mind.


PS.. yeah Im so wrong to suggest you like underage but farrrrrrk... you are so damn opinionated and sure of yourself. Typical of your age group. Tho my 18 year old would be far more logical in her response to the q...


It's called self confidence and maturity.

Additionally, I get emails from people on a regular basis who read my forum posts and find what I have to say profound. Some of these people are in their 60s or older. All of them write better than you and have more interesting things to say.

Additionally, stating that an 18 year old would make a more logical post and (presumably) write better than me, a highly educated, highly travelled, previously married combat veteran...... simply because you disagree with me......

Just kind of proves my point about older women.



Have you ever stopped to consider that if you never agree with anything I post, it reflects poorly on you, and not me?

Perhaps you should.
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 33
Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/15/2009 10:55:15 AM
This is your culture that many women dated much older men when they were young. I don't think it's a good thing for a young women who date much older men. When I was young, the first two things I chased were my school and career. I never think about dating any much older man. I do know that now some young women in my culture are chasing much older men for money because these much older men enjoy showing their money to those young women. Obviously, those young women aren't confident about themselves with their future. However, these young women are a very small group. Among the small group, few can build a successful relationship with their much older men. Then things for these young women will be getting worse for their future. It's easy to find this kind of stories in this country.


Okay....

Want a cookie?

If you're not from the culture that the OP is, why in the world are you giving advice or making judgements on what he should do or not?

?

Apparantly the bitter transcends cultures.

Additionally, you kind of disproved your own point by saying that women in your culture chase older men too. You said they are not confident in themselves.

That is a value call, or a judgement. It's your own personal bias.

Perhaps these women thought logically to themselves that women outlive men by almost a decade in some places, and they didn't want to outlive their husband by too long. Perhaps they made a rational, logical decision that if they were dating or married to a man who is already settled, that going to school, and doing what they wanted to do career-wise would be far easier.

I am NOT an older man. In fact, some steal my women. I have no vested interest in this argument other than to show how many people are being totally illogical, judgmental, hypocritical, and unfair about this issue.

Additionally, the whole older man/younger girl thing is not a cultural one. It's a biological one.

From a breeding standpoint, a younger woman is healthier, more fertile, and will bear healthier babies.

An older man has more wealth, is more experienced, more likely to be devoted to the child and the mother, and much less likely to leave or fool around.

That's human nature/evolution/dna programming. Call it what you will. Either way, the language a person speaks or what country they come from is kind of irrelevant in the face of hardwired behavior.

For instance. .... A man from Nepal and I will have very little in common... but I bet he still likes boobs.

:)

-8sf8
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 34
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Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/15/2009 11:17:14 AM
Due to the fact I have a terrible migraine today I will keep this post short. I just wanted to comment on your subsequent replies 8soldierfalcon8.

I am impressed with your well thought out answers, and with the fact that you didn't automatically bash me because I singled you out. I have experienced that in these waters, and it's tiresome and doesn't contribute in any way to the topic of discussion.

You have very valid points. When I was younger and dated older it was because the men were more stable, intelligent, and mature. They knew what they wanted (for the most part) and didn't play childish games. They also carried themselves with a quiet confidence which, to me, is very, very sexy and attractive.

I find myself contacted on a daily basis by younger men now. Early twenties mostly..and yes, I know what most of them are looking for, no delusions here. My last relationship was with a fellow 7 years younger. My kids Dad is 6 years younger than me. I am almost exclusively attracted to men in their thirties now..I could try to explain why, but my head hurts too damn much now.

Every young guy that contacts me I pose the same question to: "Why are you interested in older women?" Every one has told me the same thing, that older women know what they want, don't play games, and (generally speaking) are more confident and self-assured.

~shrugs~

Is what it is. If the Opie decides to date this girl, I wish him well. She could well be a very mature, intelligent, and confident 22-year-old. It could be the best relationship of their lives. Let's just wish him well, and stop perceiving that he has some inadequacies he's trying to make up for.

It would be nice if he would come back and update us though..

 c_deacon
Joined: 3/13/2005
Msg: 35
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Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/15/2009 4:03:09 PM
I have dated women up to 20 years younger, and when I was 20 I dated a woman that was 19 years older, so I know both sides of this, and it is all good, just as long you know that it is just dating and for fun, not for really for more.

The cougar that was a friend of my mothers introduced me to things I never knew existed sexually, and was an experienced lover that shared many good times with me for that short time that we experimented with each other.

Those that have been much younger than I am, showed as much interest and vigor about knowing me, being with me, and enjoying me, as I did them, and all was good until we talked about the family stuff.

I am sure that the older woman enjoyed my youthfulness, while the younger ones my experience, maturity, financial stability, and appreciative attitude, and all of us knew deep down inside that this was an experience to enjoy, and not a permanent situation.

I say go for it OP, be open and honest with her, tell her your true feelings, and let her know that no matter what, the joy of the experience would never be more then a current adventure, unless you truly want to start a new family, and know that she will bury you, and look towards those 20 year old boys.......

Just my opinion.........
 8soldierfalcon8
Joined: 2/16/2009
Msg: 36
Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/16/2009 6:04:07 AM
^^^ It's not the world that has a problem with it.

Just older women in general.

I've noticed this trend in my every day life too. I met a woman who married her husband at 16. Her husband is 8 years older than she is. They are still together and happy.

The same woman would not let her 15 year old daughter date an 18 year old.

How does that make ANY sense?

Another example. A woman who I knew was in her mid 40's, and dating a man who was 60. She saw a man in his late 30s with a college age girl and stuck up her nose, saying that the girl and the guy were getting used.

WTF?

Personally, I think that older women just secretely hate young girls. I call it the Cinderella Complex.

-8sf8
 ~breathlesshush~
Joined: 4/25/2006
Msg: 37
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Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/16/2009 8:18:41 PM
^^^^^darlin'..the OP was written by a man about dating a girl 19 years younger..so now what say you? Is he old enough to be her father?

Sheesh. Reading comprehension in these forums is questionable at best...

 HazelRose
Joined: 6/15/2009
Msg: 38
Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/17/2009 3:08:23 AM
That's pretty much the only thing I care about. Him living with me to a ripe old age. I don't care about anyone else's sexual proclivities because I have my own to enjoy.
 Tarah0128
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 39
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Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/17/2009 1:37:55 PM
I don't have my own to enjoy but I dont care about others either




 Firecaptain29
Joined: 4/1/2008
Msg: 40
Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/23/2009 11:55:48 AM
But then again, remember what George Burns said about dating younger women. "I enjoyed dating 18 year olds when I was 18, so why shouldn't I at 80." Go for it, if it works, it works, if not ow well. GOOD LUCK
 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 41
Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/24/2009 8:31:33 AM
"Is she too young for me?"
---------
The fact that you're asking the question indicates that YOU think that she is. Isn't that enough? It makes no difference what strangers think about it. You know the answer already.
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 42
Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/24/2009 10:36:11 AM
If she's over the drinking age, being 22, has a job, and is beautiful, confident, and intelligent, as you say... no, there's nothing wrong. Uptight folks will sneer about it, but that's part of life -- there's decent people who are too consumed with self-image in society.

Basically what you two have is strong mutual attraction. I say roll with it, BUT don't have any emotional expectations about her being the one, etc... and if she expresses such things, try to dim it down a bit. You never know, it COULD turn into a relationship, but don't let that define things, otherwise things could get sticky. It's very most likely just a fling -- so the REAL question is -- are knowing-to-be flings bad? Not necessarily -- if both people aren't hunting for an LTR and don't mind them, there shouldn't be any problem with it. Just keep it casual!
 Tarah0128
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 43
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Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/24/2009 3:15:48 PM
Yes, looks like he is off the market!

Won't be long now till they hear the pitter pat of little feet

 RobertKoi
Joined: 11/9/2008
Msg: 44
Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/24/2009 4:28:38 PM
"I would really love to hear the follow up on this story.... and many others come to think of it."
-------
I'll tell you what happened: her father beat the shit out of him. :)
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 45
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Is she too young for me?
Posted: 8/24/2009 8:15:24 PM
I have been contacted by a few posters asking for an update on my situation.

I knew even when I posted this thread that I would ask her out, and she said "What took you so long?" So we have been dating for a couple of weeks and it has been marvelous. I feel alive, full of passion, free and desirable. She is young but has understanding beyond her years. We talk politics (both of us are big Sask Party supporters), she listens when I talk about my kids, we ride along the river, we had a weekend at the lake that will be tough to out do. I know the beginning of every relationship is special, but this one seems even more so.

We don't do the clubs. I made it clear that I don't really like them, and she isn't a big bar star either. I am always busy with work and kids, but we have made time and email and talk on the phone when we can. In fact, I hate to be spending words here when I could be chatting with her.

One of the posters accused me of getting my ego stroked..... She was right..... I am on top of the world. What she missed is that it doesn't take a younger woman to do that, I am just in the fortunate position.

Long term? Who knows. Hasn't even met my kids yet and won't for many months. That rule applies to a relationship of any age. We haven't crossed our friendship groups yet either, but I can say my golf buddies are dying to meet her. I'll give it a while first.

I have entered this relationship with no expectations other than having fun with a good person. She has a great head on her shoulders and sees things the same way. So, in closing, about the age gap......? It doesn't matter, at least not so far.

Thanks for the input, much of it insightful, often intelligent, always entertaining.

Gold.
 Hands of gold
Joined: 11/12/2008
Msg: 46
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Is she too young for me?
Posted: 9/12/2009 12:06:00 AM
My update as OP.

We are dating and things are awesome. We share a great passion for each other in a way that I have never experienced before. One surprising connection is that she is too young to have kids and I am too old (and too vasectomized) to want any more . It isn't part of the equation. A woman 30 or older without kids would likely want some, which would destroy the connection. And she hasn't met the kids yet, and won't until my self imposed 6 month line is crossed.

We both know this relationship probably isn't going to last forever, so we make the best of it every time we get together. For the first time in my life I am not sizing up a potential mate and mother of my children. My goal is to have fun like I should have been doing at age 22. Back then I was focused on career and my young marriage. Now the career is fine, the kids are older and away from me 50% of the time, and I am much wiser. Much wiser. And I am fit enough to maintain a relationship that is heavy on biking, hiking and canoeing through beautiful and remote locations.

The biggest downside has been that we don't really cross our friendship groups, beyond our business related acquaintances. Although my buddies are eating their hearts out in jealousy. It doesn't really matter though, we prefer to spend our time alone anyway.

So in summary, so far..... 19 year age gap is not a problem.

Hands of gold
 scorpiomover
Joined: 4/19/2007
Msg: 47
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Is she too young for me?
Posted: 9/14/2009 9:15:19 AM
Up to you. Just know that 22-year-old girls are to dating are what million-dollar clients are to businesses. So any 22-year-old men who see you together, are going to be mighty jealous, and any women who see you together are going to get mighty jealous. So if I was you, then I'd find a place where older men date younger women, and take her there for dates, even if it is more expensive. Best not to avoid the knives that might be stabbed in your back. Literally.
 Tarah0128
Joined: 2/25/2009
Msg: 48
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Is she too young for me?
Posted: 9/14/2009 5:25:43 PM
Pssssst... Scorpio, no one will know they're an item unless there's some PDA
 SalonHottie4Real
Joined: 6/24/2009
Msg: 49
Is she too young for me?
Posted: 9/16/2009 12:03:13 AM
if you have to ask yes
 dead fish
Joined: 10/21/2008
Msg: 50
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Is she too young for me?
Posted: 11/9/2009 4:21:40 AM
over 18?
what was the original post? I forgot to read it.
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