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Joined: 1/7/2008
Msg: 50
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Flowers?Page 3 of 3    (1, 2, 3)
Sounds desperate, unimaginative and impersonal to me.
Joined: 7/8/2009
Msg: 51
Posted: 8/21/2009 3:44:45 PM
[quoteniceguyfin1st]Usually for the meet-and-greet if they are a wine drinker I give them a bottle of wine from a local winery...

Wow, what a generous gift at a meet-and-greet. I think the 'Horney Heifer' wine would be a hoot. ;-)
Joined: 1/2/2009
Msg: 52
Posted: 8/21/2009 6:00:30 PM
Flowers, roses, ... yes anytime after the first date though! It definitely says a lot about a man who likes sending flowers even on a random day to let you know he's thinking about you. how sweet is that? I hate receiving flowers after a fight though! hate it .... it seems so manipulative to me. Like I'm suppose to forgive you because I get a bouquet of roses????
Joined: 8/10/2008
Msg: 53
Posted: 8/21/2009 6:07:15 PM
I agree with you OP. If a man ever gave me flowers on the first couple of dates I would feel he was trying too hard.................but that's just me.............I'm sure other women would love it.
Joined: 7/27/2008
Msg: 54
Posted: 8/21/2009 6:47:26 PM
Don't bring me flowers on a first date. First off, that would strike me as weird, since you don't know me, and I wouldn't want to have to carry them around all night.
Joined: 7/17/2009
Msg: 55
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Posted: 8/21/2009 7:25:39 PM
I've had it both ways and I think it's a nice touch but I never expect it. If you are going to do it as a meet and greet keep it very simple, like a single rose. I've dated men that never brought me flowers, and it made no difference in the success of our relationship so not giving flowers can not explain past relationship failures. On the other hand I had someone send me flowers that I was allergic too. I thanked him and told him they were lovely but I was allergic, in fact almost every one in my office was, so I could not keep them but then he kept sending them, that was annoying! If a woman tells you she is fond of a particular kind of flower, pay attention to that.
Joined: 8/17/2009
Msg: 56
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Posted: 8/21/2009 8:24:38 PM
I will send you some!!!
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 57
Posted: 8/22/2009 11:27:12 AM
Flowers are lovely IF they are the kind I like. To me roses are cliche and an easy choice to just FLING at anyone, especially the red ones. There seems to be NO thought process considering anyone can pick some up at a gas station or grocery store for God's sake. I once was asked by a man in New York that I was talking to and GETTING TO KNOW about what kind of flowers I liked. I proceeded to tell him EXACTLY what I thought was a beautiful arrangement that I would enjoy to not only look at but smell. A few days later I am delivered a FOUR FOOT TROPICAL display of flowers from NYC from this dude. I stood STUPEFIED at my door with the delivery man HIDDEN behind this JUNGLE garden in a HUGE black vase. I was NOT expecting flowers as I didn't KNOW him all that well and we hadn't even BEGUN to talk about being exclusive. All I could hear was a muffled confirmation of the address and my name, I just muttered 'Eh, yes that is me.' He then proceeds to TRY to HAND me the flowers which are UNGODLY heavy and HUGE , almost as big as me. Birds of Paradise shuffle through the door with these ENORMOUS palm branches jutting out along the sides. It was obnoxiously grandiose and over the top, not to mention the OPPOSITE of the Peonies and Hydrangeas I had claimed to adore. I felt a twinge of repulsion and annoyance as I knew he probably spent a FORTUNE on the flowers AND they were NOT even remotely what I liked. I could only put them on the FLOOR because they were too large to place upon a table or ANYWHERE ELSE !!! With my face contorted somewhat, I tried to avoid looking at them BUT THEY TOOK UP THE WHOLE CORNER OF THE ROOM !!! They also reminded me that the man who sent them, did NOT listen to what I said, but INSTEAD got me what HE wanted to. I don't think he was being malicious nor overbearing, but wanted to spend the GREATEST amount on an arrangement for me which in essence I did NOT enjoy. I do believe the moral to this story is : If a man is going to send a woman flowers, then get to know her FIRST and find out what SHE likes. Then, once after something is established to send them when she least expects it. Flowers with no meaning behind them are redundant and the wrong kind are just plain STUPID. ~dumps 'tropical arrangement' in trash~
Joined: 3/15/2006
Msg: 58
Posted: 8/22/2009 12:50:24 PM
~OT~ Last year I met a fellow POFer. He brought the most gorgeous bouquet of spring flowers on the first meeting. It was not only sweet, but it was deeply appreciated. He is a man who was deeply rooted in his chivalrous ways ~ I personally LOVE that. Although we no longer date, we are still friends. The great thing about getting flowers ~ they are an ice-breaker and and overall nice gesture. At least I think so.
Joined: 8/4/2009
Msg: 59
Posted: 8/22/2009 1:10:20 PM
Spontaneity is important for me. If the gentlemen selected flowers, I’d be spontaneous and gracious enough to appreciate them! It would be even more important for me that he spent time selecting something for my enjoyment. I’m huge on quality time. I agree with others that roses and exotics may be too strong for a first date.
Joined: 5/23/2007
Msg: 60
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Posted: 8/22/2009 9:34:46 PM
I love receiving flowers....from a date, a friend or my children.
Joined: 7/7/2007
Msg: 61
Posted: 8/22/2009 10:02:02 PM
I like to give a single yellow rose. A dozen would be over the top, and red is not appropriate that early. Someone that would not appreciate it would not be a good fit for me anyway.
Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 62
Posted: 8/23/2009 12:55:07 AM
no flowers for me on a first date. they are too special to be given to someone you hardly know. i've never turned them down in the past though because, they didn't know.
Joined: 2/5/2008
Msg: 63
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Posted: 8/23/2009 4:27:30 AM
First meet with one guy, and instead of flowers, he brought me a gourmet chocolate bunny----is was Easter time. He listened to what I told him about me prior to the meet----I love chocolate, but in small amounts. It was without the awkward romantic undertones that come with flowers.
Joined: 10/24/2008
Msg: 64
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Posted: 8/23/2009 8:20:11 AM
I'm uncomfortable receiving flowers any time... I have really bad hey fever.
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 65
Posted: 8/23/2009 10:51:43 AM
My last date from Pof brought flowers(lillies) to our first date... I loved them....Thought it was really sweet...
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 66
Posted: 8/23/2009 11:31:25 AM
One of my favorites was several baby cucumber plants the beginning of spring, they knew i adored gardens and had gotten a late start because of intensive workload. thought it was incredibly thoughtful. Gotten a ton of cukes off them too.
Joined: 3/31/2009
Msg: 67
Posted: 8/23/2009 11:34:24 AM

My last date from Pof brought flowers(lillies) to our first date... I loved them..

I don't doubt it. What did you get him? Why don't you ladies that received these nice gestures tell us how it worked out for the guy in question? I'm really curious..
Joined: 12/16/2008
Msg: 68
Posted: 8/23/2009 12:11:04 PM

I don't doubt it. What did you get him? Why don't you ladies that received these nice gestures tell us how it worked out for the guy in question? I'm really curious..

Since I am assuming i am one of the ladies in question, that particular date I hadn't gotten him anything. Ironically, I have given flowers to probably more people than i have gotten them from in my lifetime; I love giving them because I think they are amazing and personal; I love getting them becasue they are beautiful and thoughtful.

But as for how it "worked out with him (the cukes guy)", we went out several times (and not only got the cukes but did get the dozen wrapped roses on a few occasions too, which was really sweet) but we had irreconcilable differences; one of them, ironically, was that i was not allowed to give, do or choose anything whatsoever. It was his gifts, his dictates, his choices, his directions, his agenda, his itinerary, and I was to accept gratefully and not ever want any choice in the outings/interaction. He literally wouldn't let me give back anything at all; and trust me I tried. I was steamrollered, though in his mind it was for the best of reasons. He could not receive, and he could not listen.

In his case, I'd rather have had respect than the flowers. (But the flowers were beautiful; but the cucumbers my favorite :))

So to answer what i'm sure was not in any way a loaded question, the specific person I spoke of didn't work out; but they weren't ruled out because of the flowers. It was the interaction style that made dating problematic.

Joined: 12/8/2008
Msg: 69
Posted: 8/23/2009 11:00:22 PM
It's a lovely gesture. Bringing one rose or a small bunch of average fowers that I know didn't put the guy out too much is equally appreciated on a first meetup.
Joined: 4/7/2009
Msg: 70
Posted: 8/24/2009 7:11:57 AM
Why would it be too early? You mean you want her to fall in love with your physique first? Or the fact that you make a normal paycheque but aren't willing to spend any of it on her? Oh no want her to accept you for yourself instead of a bouquet of $10.00 flowers! I get it.

Way too much expression would bore her.

Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 71
Posted: 8/24/2009 10:50:15 AM
I think many women would really LIKE the flowers... and for the women who say they would, I don't think they'd necessarily LIKE the guy, though! Unless they had some huge crush or are more into being pampered than being into men, their interest level would go down (but not necessarily out).

On a first meeting, 99% of the time, don't even think about the flowers! Chances are that it will raise questions about you (even if liking the flowers) if you've barely gotten to know her, and if you need to buy flowers to "win her over", you didn't really have a chance to begin with. You don't throw tons of interest from the get-go -- won't work in your favor.
Joined: 3/22/2009
Msg: 72
Posted: 8/25/2009 11:01:23 AM
Why don't you ladies that received these nice gestures tell us how it worked out for the guy in question? I'm really curious..

I did pay for my half of dinner.... We had such a great time...Alot of kissing, and holding hands.....I thought and still think he is an awesome guy, any girl is going to be lucky to get him, but it just wasn't there for him, or it was and he wasn't ready for that... How sad.....
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