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 mcalgary
Joined: 11/10/2009
Msg: 83
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Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?Page 3 of 11    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11)
I must say that it is way harder to date in your 20's. I may be just becoming a bit cynical but there is very little in the way of available people out there. Most woman I meet are looking for something perfect or just a hook up. Since I am not into hook ups and am a human being with some imperfections (not major just normal ones) and some good qualities but not totally hot it has been really hard to meet a normal woman that I find interesting and attractive (I am not really that picky either) to try and start something with. Maybe I am just not ready after separating almost a year ago but don't think that is an issue. Weird times anyways.
 You*N*Me
Joined: 7/24/2009
Msg: 85
Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 11/29/2009 5:48:05 PM

It is a strange age to find a date because the expectations placed on you are very high: You should have a house, car, career high income, world traveler, post graduate degree, know your wines, enjoy fine dinning, fix anything, build anything, be physically fit, appreciate art, climbed at least one mountain, kayak owner, have your hair, perfect teeth, ride motorcycles, own a boat, speak a foreign language, own the right clothes, go to black-tie events, go to blue jean events, play a musical instrument, non-smoker but knows cigars, and many more I am forgetting. Oh yeah have a perfect memory.


Thank God I haven't actually met any women like this YET. I have seen their profiles though...laundry list 50 miles long...
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 86
Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 11/29/2009 6:50:47 PM
Dating in my 20's was easy.... Dating 20 year olds in my 30's is even easier. I am "seeing" a 28 year old now... I say seeing with quotation marks because it's casual as we both agreed that we're not right for each other for anything serious and or long term, but as far as grabbing dinner and catching a show, staying the night, just talking - it's a good match.

A lot of 20 something women like the maturity of a 30 something male... I can honestly say I've had more dates with 20 somethings in the past 3 or so years than I did from 20 to 30.

And, yes 30 something women go way overboard with those idiotic check lists they hold us too. Granted, not all of them are like that.... but most... yeah... they are.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 88
Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 11/30/2009 10:10:52 AM
^^^Some of us know that can't be found in one man. We're smart enough to know that it we have to combine like 10 men to get it. : P
 Countryboy_toronto
Joined: 6/4/2009
Msg: 89
Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 11/30/2009 11:38:07 AM
I can only comment on this from my perspective (still in my 20's) and from what I've heard from older friends who are in their 30's.

From that perspective it seems that it looks a bit like a wave -- in you're early 20's when your still in school or recently out it's pretty easy to date and meet people. As you progress towards that late 20's stage your in a weird spot where a lot of women are either too young (21,22,23) to settle down or at a stage where they are looking for someone older then them with specific characterstics (late 20's women). My single friends in their 30's don't seem to have too many problems getting a few date / month but their standards have become soooo high for what they will 'settle down with' it seems unlikely that they will ever meet someone who is their perfect 'model partner'.

For me 26 (turning 27) this has been a relatively difficult period to meet people in because many of my friends are getting engaged / settled down, younger women aren't interested in a long term relationship and girls my age seem to be looking for a slightly older, more established man. That being said I still go on a few first dates per month just haven't met the 'one' yet.
 cinsav
Joined: 6/10/2009
Msg: 90
Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 11/30/2009 11:54:32 AM
Something about being 30 that people lose their minds. Most of them think they're all that and a bag of chips... when the truth is far less exciting. They're overweight (even if only a little), hold average jobs, live in average homes, drive average cars, take average vacations (if any at all), have average looks... average people with average lives.

But if you listen them - they think they're Brad Pitt or Cathy Zetta with the whole world at their feet. They all think they're something *special* and *one of a kind* and anyone "lucky enough" to warrant a date with them should count their lucky stars that someone so special as they is willing to even consider talking to them.

30 year olds have mental problems - where those problems stem from? Well, your guess is as good as mine.

Once they hit 40 it's a light switch clicks and they realize "wow there's nothing really that special about me after all... I'm like everyone else.... ok time to just enjoy the ride and have a good time!" THEN they come back down to earth and start acting like intelligent reasonable adults again.

As I've said a million times - whether your male or female - AVOID dating 30 somethings - stick to the 20's and 40's... Trust me you really will be that much happier.
 Your Kinght
Joined: 2/10/2009
Msg: 91
Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 11/30/2009 4:30:44 PM
I agree, Women date 10 men at once now a days to try to find everything they want. I hate to say this because I used to date alot of women in the past, but lately its so freaking hard. I keep finding out how women set standards so out of this world high that they think its fun to play that game yet complain how they wonder why they are still single. Cant give all the blame to the opposite sex, some of our brothers have really screwed it up for the rest of us.

I wish not to date anyone, I want a relationship. Dating is instant gratification for being alone.
 broncsbuff
Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 92
Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 11/30/2009 4:41:39 PM

AVOID dating 30 somethings - stick to the 20's and 40's... Trust me you really will be that much happier.


I tend to agree with this. I never realized it till I went on a few dates this past summer. I was told by a women who was 5'9 and wore heels when she met me that I was too short for her(Im 6'1). I dont mind that she has prefrences, but she knew I was 6'1 going into the date...but I also was thrown back that a man can be over 6 foot and be too short for her, that was more suprising...She complained the whole date about how she cant find a nice guy, all guys are flakes...bla bla bla...but then I asked her..."dont you think your limiting your dating pool if you ONLY want guys who are 6'4 or above?...her response?...the usual..."I wont settle"...

I wont eiether, but the more restrictions you have on the people you date, the harder it is to find someone.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 93
Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 11/30/2009 6:18:31 PM

I agree, Women date 10 men at once now a days to try to find everything they want.

It was a joke. Sheesh.

I hate to say this because I used to date alot of women in the past, but lately its so freaking hard.

What's hard?

I keep finding out how women set standards so out of this world high that they think its fun to play that game yet complain how they wonder why they are still single.

I still think that a totally different group of women is complaining about being single than the one with high standards.

Cant give all the blame to the opposite sex, some of our brothers have really screwed it up for the rest of us.

That's true of both genders.

I wish not to date anyone, I want a relationship. Dating is instant gratification for being alone.

You're really going to have to explain what this means - I don't get your point.
 jeepwmn
Joined: 8/14/2009
Msg: 96
Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 12/3/2009 12:14:38 AM
Well, with the way things are going, it's probably a good idea I started my cat/dog collection.
 neo77
Joined: 9/30/2009
Msg: 99
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Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 12/15/2009 4:33:51 PM
Im 32 with no childern! Why does it seem like women always want to bring up the topic of me having one. When I was 20 none of the girls wanted children. Wat the hell is the rush
 FluffyBrain
Joined: 3/11/2007
Msg: 100
Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 12/15/2009 11:42:28 PM
op, depends on how far into your 30's you are. if early 30's, there's probably still a lot of unmarried women with no kids 25-32. mid 30's, a lot people are married, so fewer from whom to choose. late 30's and older, the divorces start up and the pool becomes wider again, but you have to expect an instant family then. that doesn't end until mid-40s and older when people's kids have moved out of the house. as far as being in 20's, especially early 20's, people are partying around with their college buddies, meeting girls at bars and frat parties and the like...so more opportunity. from about 25 and beyond, the partying ceases as more people get a serious career. they still go to bars, but there's not as much partying around to meet women.
 Pirate Mollie
Joined: 7/21/2009
Msg: 104
Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 12/16/2009 5:54:52 PM
i don't know, but reading half of this crap makes me depressed as fuk, at the thought of turning thirty.

edit; oh shit, i am already fuking thirty...where is the drano so that i can drink myself to death. i want a fuking party at my funeral. kenny g. better be singing...
 filmfan12
Joined: 11/13/2009
Msg: 105
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Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 12/16/2009 7:57:30 PM
Dating for me has been the best it's ever been for the last few years. High school was a joke. College too. I honestly couldn't find a single girl remotely on my wavelength. And believe me I tried. Boy, did I try.

I think my problem was I never wanted to go anywhere near the hookup/bar/club scene and that was practically all there was in the party school I went to.

Then I moved to Texas and almost immediately was knocked down by a flurry of dates from multiple women! I didn't even have to try. Amazing. And then I had a nice LTR with one of them.

Now that I've moved back to Boston I've had a handful of dates and I've only been here for a little over a month.

I really do think a lot of this is based on newfound -- AND VERY HARD-WON -- confidence and self-esteem. It clicked in my head that I am desirable and it CAN be done. And that it's not that big of a deal. It's funny. It's so paradoxical. Love/relationships can be a big deal, but as soon as you realize that, you fixate on it and you blow your chances!

I think the key to realize as I get older is this: you MUST, MUST, come to terms with how caustic reality can be, ON YOUR OWN, before you get into a relationship. Nobody can "rescue you" from yourself. That's not a girl/boyfriend's, wife's, whatever's job. You must be able to suck on the barrel of reality on your own first. Because, ultimately, I think we're all alone, even if we're in relationships, which are the definition of risk.

Another thing I learned: a relationship is NOT a hobby. It's not another interest. If you're bored and unsatisfied in your life alone, you'll most likely be bored and unsatisfied in a relationship. Then you'll NEVER be happy either way! What a way to "live" life, huh? Enough already.

One last thing: I really believe that for "finding" someone, the harder you look, the harder it gets. I think life is actually giving you benevolent hints here. It's telling you to focus more on your own life and fun which will make you that much more appealing to a prospective partner and make the relationship a lot more fun and carefree than the "Romeo and Juliet" BS which will ultimately self-destruct because it's too intense.

So yeah. Life for me at 26 is pretty -- GASP! -- good. I'm excited for my new nursing career and have plans and a goal OTHER than just getting into a freakin' relationship. THANK GOD, I'm starting to see the promised land. And the best part is there doesn't have to be a woman in it!
 Possessions
Joined: 10/3/2009
Msg: 108
Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 12/20/2009 8:54:46 PM
all men and women over 35 this applies....

Women are bitter and angry at men in general because of the bad choices they have made for fathers of there children...


I completely disagree with this. Being bitter and angry at the choices "I" made is stupid. I chose those men. The only person I'm bitter and angry at is myself.

I realize that it was ultimately my choice and there's no one to blame for these things other than myself. I accept full responsibility for where I am. I would never blame another person for it.


OP: As we get older we tend to obviously become wiser. Therefore dating isn't the same. We've been hurt, we've loved and lost. It's a painful risk to know that dating a decent person could possibly be putting yourself at risk again.

The question is whether the person you chose to move forward with is worth that risk. Again, as we get older our standards and expectations grow as well. Therefore it's a tough decision.

Once you've made that decision to take that risk, accept it and everything that comes along with it.
 jerrick1962
Joined: 12/15/2009
Msg: 109
Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 12/20/2009 11:52:54 PM
Yes for me. But my gramps brother had no problem until he died. Oh! Did I say he was rich as hell? My bad!
 ThatsNOTmybaby
Joined: 10/27/2008
Msg: 118
Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 1/25/2010 9:29:05 PM
Yes!! Too many women in their 30's were the SAME women that were being stupid in their 20's (some still in their 30's) and have MORE bagagge than an airport!! YES it's definitely HARDER!!
 jeepwmn
Joined: 8/14/2009
Msg: 120
Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 1/31/2010 10:03:41 PM
Yes, definitely harder than in my 20's. Although, I wasn't really that interested in dating in my 20's. I should have been . .at least I would have had some experiences behind me. Some people are jaded from their last relationship, and aren't fully healed, get into a relationship with someone, make the person fall for them, and then decidethey need space. Was at the receiving end of us a couple of days ago, unfortunately. Should have just ended it when he was still texting his ex-girlfriend on our fourth date. .they talk daily, about everything (even what things she does with her boyfriend. .sexually related).
 aliveone1
Joined: 9/4/2008
Msg: 123
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Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 2/8/2010 7:22:06 PM
I think it is much easier to date now that I have gotten older. I am more self assured, and so are the men. I never wanted to date men in their 20's even when I was in my 20's! Now that I am in my 30's, I am still not impressed with most of the men my age! Men improve with age: 40's and 50's are best. I wonder if I will still feel that way when I am that age...well, I'll have to change my tune if I am still with my guy of 5 years now....when I am 50 I'll have to say, no men in their 70's are definately at the best!
 sammylg
Joined: 12/20/2006
Msg: 124
Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 2/10/2010 9:07:20 AM
I find it no difference, but I do find my attributes have changed so I have different appeals to women.

When I was in my 20's, I had my fit body, my youthful vibrancy and my spend-free way.

In my 30's, I find that my fit body is beginning to sag and the hair recedes, that I think more and make more intelligent decisions and have taken my experiences in my 20's and turned them into wisdom that other's respect. My tastes have become more sophisticated and my finances are improved and I am much more stable than in my wild 20's when I had no assets, lived abroad and cared only for today.
 btj_rv
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 125
Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 2/11/2010 4:35:05 PM
I think that it may be easier to have a better relationship in your thirties because of the experience. I wouldn't think there would be much difference in terms of being attractive to the opposite sex. People though are probably going to be seeking different things relative to the thirties and twenties.
 StevieCashmere
Joined: 4/22/2009
Msg: 126
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Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 2/12/2010 10:07:45 AM
Why get hung up on 'dating'...life's too short!...try Making & Meeting a Online friend!

~sc~
 davidvarga
Joined: 3/13/2009
Msg: 127
Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 2/12/2010 3:21:21 PM
Oh yeah dating is way harder in your thirties!! When I was in my early 20s I didn't really care as much about womans feelings. Now that Im older. It feels bad to hurt people...real bad....You end up meeting a lot of younger woman because you have to date what's out there and available.. Plus your standards get higher the older you get because you understand better what you want.. Much harder in my opinion
 btj_rv
Joined: 12/9/2007
Msg: 129
Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 2/14/2010 9:55:51 AM
I think its harder because we all think we know what we want, but that is probly not really true or we wouldn't be single


While this is a logical assumption it is not necessarily correct. What about those people that decided not to be in a relationship for reasons pertaining to their own well being ie career, education, travel. More women and the progressive male are getting married and having children at an older age. Asian women probably more than any other demographic of women are focusing less on committed relationships at an earlier age. Since there would be fewer available then in years before at an earlier age available to now it would seem to me at least to make dating in the twenties more challenge. The differences in rationale could also be considering a different demographic.
 peyton1979
Joined: 1/31/2010
Msg: 134
Is Dating over 30 tougher than it was when you were in your 20's?
Posted: 3/4/2010 11:05:54 PM
I couldn't agree more with ur post realitybites. I was told when I was 18-19 and had a baby face that when I was older I would appreciate it. Well, I'm 30 now and still don't. That being said I find it far more difficult to date in the 30's that in my 20's. It's something that's literally had me scratching my head. A couple months in the gym and I'll be back in shape, but now that's not important for me, not to get the attention of women that is. I've come across many women my age or older who have These insane requirements about a guy. I don't own a house, I'm still paying off my student loans, and I have no 401k or portfolio, my point being that women in their late 20's/into their 30's seem to be out of reach unless ur a stockbroker. And the younger ones are still semi-retarded. It's maddening, from 20-28 I got a my fair share, without trying or having "game". Makes me want to scream
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