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 Miss W
Joined: 12/4/2006
Msg: 46
Why do I usually attract men that I'm not attracted to? Annoying!Page 3 of 4    (1, 2, 3, 4)
I have the same issue. With men whom I am attracted to, I find myself to be a bit shy. Then with those I'm not so or just want to be friends with, or am not attracted to, I'm a bit friendlier for I don't care. 'Tis has been a life long issue and one would think that a woman who is pushing 50 wouldn't have this. Go figure...oh well... Then on the flip side, I have more cojones than some men.
 big pacific
Joined: 7/2/2009
Msg: 47
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Why do I usually attract men that I'm not attracted to? Annoying!
Posted: 9/28/2009 10:00:22 AM

You're probably not as attractive as you think you are and you are attracting what you are "worth".


Quoted for truth, nothing in this world worse than a 6 that thinks they are a 10.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 51
Why do I usually attract men that I'm not attracted to? Annoying!
Posted: 9/29/2009 10:47:26 AM
I still think for the majority of us it's just odds. Odds are that 80% of those who approach us won't be our type. Obviously those who don't think we're cute won't approach, so only the ones who do will. It stands to reason that a small percentage of those will be people we like as well.

In reverse, a majority of those we approach will like us, because we can't tell who will or won't before approaching. Therefore the same 80/20 rule applies where only 20% of those we step up to the plate and make contact with will be mutually interested.

Some of it has to do with unrealistic expectations and biased self assessment, but overall that's only as important as how much we care that our search is fruitful.
 WomanInProgress
Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 58
Why do I usually attract men that I'm not attracted to? Annoying!
Posted: 10/2/2009 5:16:27 PM
^^^True. In my case everything the chef brought me wasn't my thing, so I fired him and walked back into the kitchen to cook my own stuff. *shrug*
 Vincent_1984
Joined: 11/14/2005
Msg: 62
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Why do I usually attract men that I'm not attracted to? Annoying!
Posted: 10/5/2009 2:11:21 PM
I think it's like that for most people. So far, most of the women who have contacted me first I wasn't really interested in (with a few exceptions who lived way too far) but I usually try to chat with them anyway and get to know them first, I don't have to date them but then I don't see why I can't just make a friend in the process(I have never looked at anyone as below or above my "level", I think that would be pretty vain).

The ones that I am interested in and do message will usually just respond with a read/delete or a read/no response, which can be quite of a downer, but I think that if you can't get the people you want to email you, than you should take the initiative and make the effort to email them yourself. There is nothing unfeminine about it and, if anything, it might give you some perspective on those who do email you as well.
 hue1995
Joined: 12/25/2007
Msg: 64
Why do I usually attract men that I'm not attracted to? Annoying!
Posted: 10/7/2009 6:40:55 AM
maybe you are attracted to guys that aren't attracted to you.
 GoofBall311
Joined: 5/4/2009
Msg: 65
Why do I usually attract men that I'm not attracted to? Annoying!
Posted: 10/7/2009 1:38:15 PM
Haha, but you are superficial. Just admit it and you've won half the battle.
 IzzyHoyland
Joined: 11/28/2014
Msg: 68
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Why do I usually attract men that I'm not attracted to? Annoying!
Posted: 3/25/2016 3:32:52 PM
I get what u mean.... with me its not their looks but I seem to have the same problem except with me i attract people who are only after one thing or have weird fetishes like wearing womens clothes or into sub/dom etc... where are the normal guys?
Im certainly not the most attractive person on the planet but i think i deserve a nice guy.
I have been on here on and off for a couple of years.
 Ailand
Joined: 3/5/2016
Msg: 69
Why do I usually attract men that I'm not attracted to? Annoying!
Posted: 4/10/2016 9:56:02 AM
men that go up to you hit on a dozen women or so all day. They're just having fun.
 south_city
Joined: 10/12/2013
Msg: 70
Why do I usually attract men that I'm not attracted to? Annoying!
Posted: 4/10/2016 10:07:53 AM
Law of averages. Unless you aren't getting any attention from the opposite gender, you will be interested in people that aren't interested in you and vice versa. When I was actively using OLD, I got emails from women that I wasn't interested in. Obese women, single mothers with 4 kids, women that are clearly too old or young for me, live too far from me etc. I never complained about it.
 purplerider1200
Joined: 9/10/2011
Msg: 71
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Why do I usually attract men that I'm not attracted to? Annoying!
Posted: 4/10/2016 12:22:49 PM

I get what u mean.... with me its not their looks but I seem to have the same problem except with me i attract people who are only after one thing or have weird fetishes like wearing womens clothes or into sub/dom etc... where are the normal guys?
Im certainly not the most attractive person on the planet but i think i deserve a nice guy. [\quote]

I think you're nice looking. Just thought I'd throw that in.

Now, you say you deserve a nice guy. I agree. Take my point of view for just a minute. I, like a number of guys, have no idea where we stand in the looks department. Just looking at your photo, I wouldn't message you. Not for anything about what you put in your profile, or your other photos. It's because I don't think I would be in the same in the looks department, as you are. I might be, but I don't know. So rather than guess, I'll just look and go on.

Plenty of women won't pass judgement on a guy's looks. Only about 6 women that I ever knew, did say something one way or another. Not enough for a vague idea of where I stand. If I had a general idea, I might get more forward. So, rather than waste a bunch of time writing unanswered messages, I just veto the idea.
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 72
Why do I usually attract men that I'm not attracted to? Annoying!
Posted: 4/10/2016 1:25:45 PM

where are the normal guys?


I'm right here.
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 73
Why do I usually attract men that I'm not attracted to? Annoying!
Posted: 4/10/2016 3:59:31 PM
Izzyhoyland...
I don't think anyone can email you; you have the age restriction on your profile to be between 99 and 99.

Fullmoonguy...
Don't even try to pass for normal. You are bright, articulate, witty and (probably) devastatingly handsome.
 DontDeleteMePOF
Joined: 9/7/2015
Msg: 74
Why do I usually attract men that I'm not attracted to? Annoying!
Posted: 4/11/2016 6:41:19 AM
You have no profile picture you are a chickenshit enough said
 2ufo
Joined: 2/28/2015
Msg: 75
Why do I usually attract men that I'm not attracted to? Annoying!
Posted: 4/12/2016 5:12:28 PM
And this bothers you because... ?

My choice to not currently have photos for public consumption.
Don't worry, you won't ever see them.
 BBWloverIsHere
Joined: 4/9/2016
Msg: 76
Why do I usually attract men that I'm not attracted to? Annoying!
Posted: 4/12/2016 11:59:46 PM
I think you should think more of what can you offer to an attractive and successful man. Perhaps you're not as attractive as you think, that can also be a possibility.
 rockstartrucker82
Joined: 11/22/2015
Msg: 77
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Why do I usually attract men that I'm not attracted to? Annoying!
Posted: 4/13/2016 5:39:54 PM

where are the normal guys?


They're on here, just probably not getting responses from you. Are you not attracting normal guys, or are they just not hot enough for you so you don't even give them the chance?
 Coma_White
Joined: 9/15/2013
Msg: 78
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Why do I usually attract men that I'm not attracted to? Annoying!
Posted: 4/14/2016 1:44:47 AM

This annoys me so much! I usually get hit on by guys that I'm either not really attracted to, or just not my type. Not that I'm really looking for a boyfriend or anything but it would be nice to find a guy that approaches me that I like for once. I'm not superficial at all. I could care less about getting the hottest guy. It would just be nice to attract a man that I find attractive,appealing and we both vibe.


Have you ever considered using logic and approaching men that you like?
 ebolakitty
Joined: 3/19/2016
Msg: 79
Why do I usually attract men that I'm not attracted to? Annoying!
Posted: 4/14/2016 4:10:01 AM

where are the normal guys?


Down at the child support office.
 Hair2day_gone2morrow
Joined: 4/7/2016
Msg: 80
Why do I usually attract men that I'm not attracted to? Annoying!
Posted: 4/14/2016 4:18:49 AM

where are the normal guys?


Down at the child support office.

Hopefully, by age 50 they're done.
If not, I hope their procreation was d1ck-taculous, cuz now they're paying for it!
Would have been waaaay cheaper to go to Parumph, NV!
 Hair2day_gone2morrow
Joined: 4/7/2016
Msg: 81
Why do I usually attract men that I'm not attracted to? Annoying!
Posted: 4/14/2016 7:18:04 AM

"Im certainly not the most attractive person on the planet but i think i deserve a nice guy. "

1. There's no law of the universe that guarantees anyone a partner.
2. You might not be as much of a catch as you think.
3. If you are BBW then some guys might think you're an easy target
4. Why not be proactive and message guys that you're interested in?


This is true. It's a dog eat dog world & to get a nice guy, you may have to be more pro-active w/ yourself, settle, or remain alone.

#2 is worded a little harshly IMO. Sometimes a little change in ourselves generates a change in who we attract into out life.

That old adage, raise the bar for yourself, & the people around you will be different. Maybe take a class, explore new venues IRL, rather than rely on OLD?
 FullMoonGuy
Joined: 3/7/2014
Msg: 82
Why do I usually attract men that I'm not attracted to? Annoying!
Posted: 4/14/2016 11:28:04 AM

Fullmoonguy...
Don't even try to pass for normal. You are bright, articulate, witty and (probably) devastatingly handsome.


Muchas gracias.
 NewInElkhart
Joined: 3/20/2016
Msg: 83
Why do I usually attract men that I'm not attracted to? Annoying!
Posted: 4/15/2016 1:36:37 PM
OP isn't alone, I have the same problem!
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