Plentyoffish dating forums are a place to meet singles and get dating advice or share dating experiences etc. Hopefully you will all have fun meeting singles and try out this online dating thing... Remember that we are the largest free online dating service, so you will never have to pay a dime to meet your soulmate.
     
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > 22, Never had a girlfriend      Home login  
 AUTHOR
 Ice-ey9
Joined: 8/23/2008
Msg: 107
women don't OWE you shit, not a relationship, a bj, love, respect, sympathy, NONE of it.Page 5 of 7    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7)
That's right, they don't owe you shit. But can it be earned? Er, quite obviously. Some of the above you can get for free! That's right, did you know that?
 Drusurfer06
Joined: 8/11/2009
Msg: 108
women don't OWE you shit, not a relationship, a bj, love, respect, sympathy, NONE of it.
Posted: 12/13/2009 2:25:03 AM
There's a great quote that gets to the heart of this question. "A woman can go to the bar, and if she really wants to, can leave with a man. A guy can go to many bars, and there's no guarantee he'll leave with a woman."
I'd certainly say it's harder for a guy to get a girl than the other way around. Most women, from the time they were around 14 or so, have been getting attention from males. Guys, on the other hand, generally don't have a cache of women to choose from.
That's not to say it's any easier for women; just because they have more options doesn't mean any of the guys available to them are really what they are looking for. On the contrary, the guys who are available to them are the guys who otherwise haven't found a girl yet; all else being equal, they're probably from the less-desirable side of the scale. Guys, on the other hand, will often be happy with just about any girl they can find.
In the end, guys have to look harder to find a girl, but once they've found one they're easier to please. Girls don't have to look very hard to find a guy, in reality they don't actually literally have to find a guy, it just happens, girls are takers and choosers, guys go after what they want, yes there is a good and bad side to it, but being a taker and chooser is better because you have more options, you get to control the outcome situations more often, but they'll have to wait for some time to get a good guy. But still, even if it is a great, good, long-term serious committed relationship, the guy was the one that initiated it, did all or most of the work in order to get the girl to be in a relationship with him.
Overall, even if it is a serious, committed, long-term relationship, a great one, or just a hook-up, one-night stand, casual sex, etc. Girls have it entirely easier initially, us guys have to do all or most of the work in order to anything with or from a girl.
Seriously, I hate how society and culture, the media, overall, everybody, thinks that us guys are lucky to be the ones to initiate everything with women, heck, even a lot of guys think that they are blessed that they have to be the ones to take charge, and girls think they have it hard because they have it wait.
Women have it easier, there is nothing that anybody can do to make me stop thinking that way. BECAUSE EVEN IF YOU ARE A MAN AND YOU HAVE CONFIDENCE, YOU HAVE BALLS, YOU TAKE CHARGE, YOU ARE A LEADER, YOU WILL STILL GET REJECTED FROM TIME TO TIME, IF I HAVE TO FIGHT FOR IT, THEN I WILL, AND I MEAN LITERALLY, LIKE I ALWAYS FANTASIZE ABOUT BEATING UP A WOMAN'S BOYFRIEND, OR EVEN KILLING HIM BECAUSE I GET SO JEALOUS, THATS RIGHT, I'M A PLAYER HATER AND I'M PROUD OF IT, I DON'T CARE IF I END UP IN HOSPITAL OR GO TO JAIL, BECAUSE MY MOTTO IS "BETTER TO DIE WITH HONOR THAN TO LIVE WITH SHAME", EVEN IF I CAN'T GET A GIRL, I AM DOWN TO LITERALLY FIGHT FOR MY RESPECT.
 Drusurfer06
Joined: 8/11/2009
Msg: 109
22, Never had a girlfriend
Posted: 12/13/2009 2:26:48 AM
and you said that this is the 11th thread that I have complained in, well then why don't you come fly over here to Cali and shut my mouth yourself? why don't you come and close it yourself you douchebag?
 Drusurfer06
Joined: 8/11/2009
Msg: 110
22, Never had a girlfriend
Posted: 12/13/2009 6:04:38 AM
in a way, eventhough most of you people on this thread will not admit it, it seems that you and society, are saying the reasons why men have to initiate everything with women is because men are the more dominant and stronger sex, is it because if a woman takes charge and initiates, takes the lead, it makes it look like a Cat is taking orders from a Mouse?
 Achilles24
Joined: 11/25/2009
Msg: 111
22, Never had a girlfriend
Posted: 12/13/2009 9:02:31 AM
I have never had a gf either and I am 24 but im not a virgin. Its tough out there and I too am shy to approach to women. I would say I display a lot of confidence when out in public but when it comes to meeting girls and getting their numbers, that confidence kind of dwindles away. I just get that fear of rejection and it really kills my self-esteem and how I perceive myself afterwards. Personally, I need to be more assertive and quit being a little ****. Just hang in there it will happen. Listen to what everyone is saying and that is you are young and got your whole life ahead of you. Worry about you then once you get yourself established then you can worry about girls. It's tough advice to take in and every single person I know of has said that to me. I myself don't like the notion of fate controlling me if that's the way it is then it is what it is. Good luck bro.
 Wild DNA
Joined: 9/30/2008
Msg: 112
22, Never had a girlfriend
Posted: 12/13/2009 9:53:45 AM
I really think if you can't give someone positive advice and encouragement you should just shut your damn mouth!

How you come across to others is too important to be left to chance. Don't bicker back and forth defending yourself to people you don't know. Since we are all human we all have biases, which may not be logical but are nonetheless real. We tend to take into account the way a person looks, their posture , how they carry themselves and how they talk back and forth. We are influenced by such things as cleanliness, grooming and attitude. Body language attentiveness , eye contact and friendliness are all things which we tend to value and place weight on when determining whether or not we will be receptive or not.

Shyness is not a negative problem...it's a way of giving you more time, to find someone that will find you absolutely adorable....shyness included.

Never defend yourself to a body of ignorant people!
 Drusurfer06
Joined: 8/11/2009
Msg: 113
22, Never had a girlfriend
Posted: 12/13/2009 6:29:36 PM
then how did you lose your virginity if you have never had a girlfriend or shy? no offense, it's because even when it comes to just casual sex, hook-ups, one-night stands, us guys to do all or most of the work in order to get the girl to sleep with us, pretty much, us guys have to initiate everything with girls.
 Achilles24
Joined: 11/25/2009
Msg: 114
22, Never had a girlfriend
Posted: 12/14/2009 12:04:27 AM
Dude its called a one night stand or random hookup if you want to call it like that. I drank a lot of beer that night. I remember that much. lol
 Drusurfer06
Joined: 8/11/2009
Msg: 115
22, Never had a girlfriend
Posted: 12/14/2009 8:10:09 AM
Well it is very hard and difficult to be non-desperate if you have been single your whole life, better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. It makes you feel pathetic, worthless if you have never been in a relationship before, it makes you feel behind everyone else, I hate being a late bloomer, I ****in' hate it when people say that it's never too late to have your first girlfriend and that you have all the time in the world, because in reality, that is not true, I refuse to accept that is true, mainly because I want to experience dating and relationships while I am still in the prime of my life.
 HTex25
Joined: 11/30/2009
Msg: 116
22, Never had a girlfriend
Posted: 12/14/2009 8:27:55 AM
If youre a virgin for any other reason than saving yourself for marriage than you probably do have some type of flaw and need to fix that ASAP unless you live where I do.

I dont know you but if a chick wants to leave her boyfriend for you than that is a good thing (provided that bf is not your friend)

Another possibility may be that you need to branch out cause your current acquaintances are not yielding a sufficient crop of chicks for you to scare off.
 YoucancallmeGod
Joined: 9/26/2009
Msg: 117
22, Never had a girlfriend
Posted: 12/14/2009 2:21:20 PM

So with this heart condition you could die if you had sex?

I guess you are screwed either way.


Wow that's quite the assumption isn't it? Do you even know what kind of heart condition this person has?. . .

Anyway Maybe it's the quality of chicks you're getting to know. Maybe you present yourself as the "friend" type. Change the way you do things. I'm not saying rush into it or anything but make it very obvious that you want to date these chicks not just be their friend, and look for girls you have things in common with, I'm not sure if that's what your already doing or not but that's my advice. Play the hard to get card and make yourself appear unattainable if you have to, that sh*t always works.
 Sangrial
Joined: 12/4/2009
Msg: 118
22, Never had a girlfriend
Posted: 12/15/2009 12:50:59 AM
Lol now in our 20s its harder for us guys. I remember when I was younger at roller skating all the girls would come in floks trying to go out with me. Now I am 22. It's so hard to get in a realationship. Maybe I am a bit out of the game I don't know. Talk to them a bit about basic stuff than it usually just ends there with me its like ok... Lol... us nice guys do finish last that I know. I know I am young and I know I can use my youth to my advantage but I am not that type of guy... If I was I would be with woman every night but I don't want that I am the one who actually wants a long term realationship and stick to it. I don't want one night stands or any of that bs.. You woman claim you all got it rough lol... us guys are on the same boat if not farther... I'm one of the good guys but its soon getting to the point where I just say heck with it and be like most of the others..
 Uncle Fist
Joined: 12/18/2006
Msg: 119
women don't OWE you shit, not a relationship, a bj, love, respect, sympathy, NONE of it.
Posted: 12/16/2009 5:43:06 PM

LIKE I ALWAYS FANTASIZE ABOUT BEATING UP A WOMAN'S BOYFRIEND, OR EVEN KILLING HIM BECAUSE I GET SO JEALOUS, THATS RIGHT, I'M A PLAYER HATER AND I'M PROUD OF IT, I DON'T CARE IF I END UP IN HOSPITAL OR GO TO JAIL, BECAUSE MY MOTTO IS "BETTER TO DIE WITH HONOR THAN TO LIVE WITH SHAME", EVEN IF I CAN'T GET A GIRL, I AM DOWN TO LITERALLY FIGHT FOR MY RESPECT.


Oh, the irony!

Dude, you couldn't buy respect with all the money in the world with the attitude you currently have. There is nothing even remotely respectable or honorable about what you have just posted. And the fact that you think you'll somehow earn some by getting your ass beat (or possibly killed) is really sad. And delusional.

You are the classic case of passive/aggressive. Instead of taking responsibility for anything, honoring and respecting yourself, and working to make yourself a stronger, better, and happier person, you are sitting there crying about how you enjoy being a victim. And then you get angry about your decision to be a victim and try to take it out on everybody else when the entire thing is your fault and under your control to change.

You don't need a girlfriend. You need a therapist. I'm not saying that to be condescending either. I'm saying it because it's the truth.
 caitlinanna87
Joined: 8/18/2009
Msg: 120
22, Never had a girlfriend
Posted: 1/12/2010 2:38:00 PM
I'm also 22 and never had a boyfriend/girlfriend.

I dunno if anyone's suggested to you OP that maybe you should just get losing your virginity out of the way...I lost mine when I was 20 because I was so anxious about dying a virgin or being the female 40 year old virgin. And it was with someone I had just met too. Most people find that slutty or sad, but to be honest, I'm just so glad I got it out of the way so I could finally stop worrying about or getting devious looks from guys/girls when I told them I was a virgin. In fact, I think the way I lost it really suited me.

And now I feel freer too because I can have sex when I want to. I used to have to say "sorry, I'm a virgin" and feel obligated to give a blowjob. No one should feel obligated, lol. Now, it doesn't matter so much. Not so much pressure.

Unless you want your first time to be "special", then maybe you should just do it. For a long time I wanted it to be with someone I loved, but when I realized that there's a good chance I'm not going to fall in love any time soon, it was just a huge relief to finally get that first time out of the way....love's gonna come eventually, so shouldn't you?
 1989jeff
Joined: 9/15/2009
Msg: 121
view profile
History
22, Never had a girlfriend
Posted: 1/13/2010 9:32:23 AM
Im 20 and still a virgin the way i think of it is better a virgin than having an std imo. Plus its not all that bad you just have to get a hobby focus your energy else where. It will happen for us all just give it time be patient.
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 122
view profile
History
22, Never had a girlfriend
Posted: 1/25/2010 11:21:15 PM
You lucky dog....now if you can stretch it to sixty, you've won!
 TheGoob
Joined: 5/21/2010
Msg: 123
view profile
History
22, Never had a girlfriend
Posted: 8/15/2010 5:17:42 AM

I think I am WAY different than almost any guy I hear say this. Why? Because almost all of them say the same thing. I'm shy, scared of talking to women, etc.

The thing is I am EXTREMELY confident with women, no problem talking to them, getting there numbers, asking them out. The problem is almost any girl I meet, no matter how much we seem to gel always tells me I'm, "not her type."

It gets very very annoying. I'm still a virgin as well, mostly because of this. I have just some terrible luck and my friends believe I am cursed. Any girl that shows interest in me usually has a bf and I went through a crazy terrible time with a girl that almost left her bf for me. Thank god she didn't though because that would've been trouble.

I seriously think there's way more luck in things than we put stock into.


Hey... I'm 26, and still haven;t had a girlfriend, the problem that I have is that I've been on a few dates with girls, but they'll find a better looking man than me, how does that fell? Like crap. The best we can do is just keep trying, even if it's been going on for so long... BUt with the luck that we have, we better find the perfect woman one day!
 cherryyblossom
Joined: 7/19/2009
Msg: 124
22, Never had a girlfriend
Posted: 8/15/2010 5:58:57 AM
someone needs to grow the f*** up. i am turning 21 next week and still single. i may never find my S.O. Oh well,
 popcultureloverguy88
Joined: 8/25/2011
Msg: 125
22, Never had a girlfriend
Posted: 2/7/2012 1:56:53 AM
I quote "F*cking grow a pair. Seriously, man up. You need to have a spine, NO ONE respects a door mat, and you'll NEVER get a relationship without respect. Realize that YOU are in control of your own destiny and women don't OWE you shit, not a relationship, a bj, love, respect, sympathy, NONE of it.

You gotta EARN it. EARN it by realising that you don't NEED to have a chick to validate your existance, realize that people try to help you all the time, but your LAZY ass ALWAYS blames society instead of taking initiative and making yourself more attractive the opposite sex. ADAPT! Don't cry about women not wanting you, find out what they want and use that to make yourself more attractive.

If you dig dogs? Volunteer at a shelter. Line dancing, learn a language, be a tutor for college kids, DAMN ANYTHING. Get involved in life, don't watch it from the back seat, maybe then a woman would want to be your co-pilot.

Oh, and Be a Man."

Man I would kick your ass for saying that to him, punch your lights out, he had every right to complain, be pissed off, angry, frustrated.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 126
22, Never had a girlfriend
Posted: 4/4/2012 5:53:13 PM
Men will have sex with just about anyone given the right circumstances, women not so much. Plenty of people are late bloomers and all in life is timing. If you try too hard and come across as needy that is a big turn off.
Some people choose to wait for the right one rather than just having a "boyfriend" or "girlfriend".
We are all different and there are no hard and fast rules. I can understand you wanting a long term relationship but surely that comes up after you have met the person?? Why are you not looking for sex at your age? You should be.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 127
22, Never had a girlfriend
Posted: 4/4/2012 6:02:10 PM
Sangrial

Your rant is very unappealing. You say you could be with a woman every night if you want but it is obvious you cant get anyone to take you seriously, from what you say. Why is that?? Look at your own behaviour I would suggest. At your age you should be experimenting and who knows how a relationship will progress? No one knows if a one night stand will end there or not really. You are too young to be sweating this stuff. Have fun.
 Lionesse19
Joined: 3/30/2012
Msg: 128
22, Never had a girlfriend
Posted: 4/4/2012 6:09:04 PM



This sort of rant will get you nowhere. Generalising and inaccurate. Of course you hate being rejected and you will be often, if you are using this site. The reasons for that are down to you and not women. Men outnumber women hugely and most of those gals are just cruising on by looking for Tom Cruise who is just not going to be here. lol!
 Mfforal3
Joined: 4/25/2010
Msg: 129
22, Never had a girlfriend
Posted: 5/7/2012 2:48:53 PM
"You lucky dog....now if you can stretch it to sixty, you've won!"

Lmao!...This is true in a sense. Just get a hooker when you get the urge, it's cheaper than a girlfriend!!! haha.

But seriously dude your 22 no time to worry it will come..

Good luck! Cheers!
 fivefingerspleaser
Joined: 5/4/2012
Msg: 130
22, Never had a girlfriend
Posted: 5/7/2012 3:35:42 PM
OP, maybe your 'type' is someone of the XY chromosome persuasion? admit it.. many guys up until age 22 , plus, have trouble coming to grips with the fact that they are gay
 Neil7741
Joined: 7/21/2009
Msg: 131
view profile
History
22, Never had a girlfriend
Posted: 6/2/2012 11:03:47 AM
I'm 35 and have never had a proper relationship. I freak out at being touched, I just can't handle it. I'd really love to find someone who is patent with me but most girls can't be bothered.
Show ALL Forums  > Sex and Dating  > 22, Never had a girlfriend